I feel like I mourn a time in my life that never existed and I feel that I was born in a different era. I wish this was the 80s and 90s. Cost of living was cheaper. I could have easily afforded college, a nice apartment, ans a car paid off in full with the income I have now as a broke college student.
I see past photos of the way people used to live and feel so envious. I genuinely feel like I was dealt a bad hand fo even be born in the shit hole world today. There used to be happier and more peaceful times. Not to say any time frame was without it's problems, but today feels like hell. It feels like another Great Depression. Not just in terms of the economy and job market, but the masses of misery that exists. Everytime you look on the news, someone got killed or it's something crazy with the government. It's always because of some mentally unstable or evil person. Then, all the international affairs. This place is a hot mess.
I didn't ask to be here and everyday, it feels like a struggle to get out of bed. I just hate this world so much. I forgot what it feels like to be happy.
I'm not sure what to describe this as, but I have nostalgia for a time that never existed for me. A time where I would have felt free. A time where I would have been at peace and happy.
Look I'm just going to be honest as an elder millennial. The algorithm that you see about what occurred in the 80s and '90s is through rose colored glasses.
Young adults were struggling to complete college. Minimum wage was less than $5. And after Reagan's term ended there was a recession. And even when people were able to recover the majority of people who are either working class or lower class was never able to recover financially. Look up Frontline Two American Families on YouTube.
And even back in the day people from working class and lower class was taking out student loans who are still paying off the loans today.
Even the social expectation of being a black woman in 80s and 90s America was a lot more conservative that picture suggested. At least we're able to talk about the public setting or articulate about the issue.
Don't get me started on War On Drugs. 😆
It sounds more like FOMO than nostalgia, but I understand the sentiment. It feels like the whole world was promised to us, and while it's still there it isn't at all what 13 years of grooming told us it would be.
In the same vein as "kill your darlings", mourning our expectations helps prepare us to transform them into something new and adapt to what we're handed. It's not perfect, but it's still worth finding a home, a life, and meaning.
As a 2000s kid not baby (born in early 90s) I feel your pain. We were the first and last to actually get the experience of communicating with people face to face, RSVPs, waiting for certain shows and enduring commercials, expecting birthday cards or letters through mail, and it’s just a lot honestly. I miss it but it’s up to us to change that again.
Like right now, malls are slowly starting to be popular again because people like you!! Are speaking out and wishing that you want to go out and actually see things or just be there and chill. Online shopping has killed that. That’s a good thing.
Right now I’m seeing cameras and flip phones are slowly appearing again ooh and MP3 players. Will see
Having nostalgia for a time you never experienced is called Anemoia.
Just like with Instagram, you’re idealizing a past based on one moment in time that most likely was less than like five seconds . Shitty things have always happened. This is why nostalgia is so dangerous because people can basically make up how they feel the past was and statistically, people tend to do this even in abusive relationships. They look back and present a story of the past, that was not even real.
Wow! I deeply resonate with this. I’ve been feeling this way for as long as I can remember, and seeing someone else put it into words honestly made me feel better. I genuinely feel like I don’t belong in this era. I tell my boyfriend this all the time. I wish I had been born earlier, like late 70s or early 80s, grown up through the 80s and 90s, and experienced the early 2000s as an adult. Not because those times were perfect or anything, but because life felt slower and meaningful in ways that feel SO lost now. Like you mentioned like the cost of living, community, music, culture, even the pace of daily life. It all appears to have been more livable then. I’m envious of my parents and older friends tbh. Everything got hard when it was my turn to become an adult.. 😒
I’ve always been mature and felt disconnected from my age group, and most of the people I’ve surrounded myself with in my adulthood have always been several years, if not decades, older than me. I’m 26, turning 27 next year, and every year it feels harder to find meaning/purpose in the world as it is now. I joined the military at 18 and I’m a disabled veteran now just trying to live peacefully. I struggle with PTSD and depression, amongst several other things so I totally understand your pov. Everything feels overstimulating, unstable, and downright exhausting. It feels like we’re living inside a system that never gives you room to breathe. I didn’t ask to be here. Damn near every day, getting out of bed feels heavy.
What has truly helped me cope is intentionally living slower and disconnecting where I can. I try not to wake up and immediately check my phone. I lean into older music (always been my preference anyway). I wake up daily and listen to Smooth Jazz on my home speakers while drinking tea and kinda just take in the first few minutes of the day to sit with myself and my thoughts. I style myself in fashions/hair that reflect those times, being present, moving with more intention, and not being plugged into technology 24/7.
I deleted all of my social media years ago because it just adds to that as well. Don’t like the idea of people having that much access to me anyways. Just roam on Reddit and Pinterest and reactivate TikTok or Twitter when I need a good laugh or wanna catch up on the outside world. Helps get rid of extra stress and negativity too. Definitely helped me. It’s not escapism as much as it is survival. Kinda just like pretending as if you’re living in the era.
Sucks feeling like you’re mourning a life you never got to live… but you’re definitely not alone in this feeling. Thank you for sharing this really! It made me feel less crazy and less alone lol.