Friendly reminder that we do not allow posts by non-Black women that treat us like a specialized search engine. If you see a post doing that, kindly hit the report button.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think the difference is that with many black subreddits the mods aren't always all black. 

It's almost impossible to have nuanced and in-depth cultural discussions that center Black experiences when you include people who aren't Black in those discussions. Too much time is spent on explaining what is second nature to us and too much energy is spent trying to make sure they aren't personally offended or misinterpreting things. Also, there's the risk of excluding Black people because they don't feel like a Black space is truly safe if non-Black people are welcomed.

It reminds me of college, when Black Town Halls were created specifically because we didn't feel free to speak or feel heard with non-Black people chiming in and trying to counter our lived experiences. Without the Black Town Halls, there's no way we could've had a discussion centering queer Black students who felt like they had to pick between their race/culture and their sexuality when making friends on campus. Welcoming non-Black voices just sets us back from discussing topics that can't be held in mixed company.

This is one of the things I love about Black People Comedy. The moderators unapologetically center black voices and come down hard on interlopers. I knew it was a wrap in BPT when Europeans and Asians were given full space to be racist and the 'Black" people in there were either thanking them for their honesty or trying to reason with them instead of cursing them out and telling them to fuck off.

I think a lot of Black people have been conditioned to believe that allyship is directly tied to proximity. It's a perverse inversion of white supremacy in that while the former provides access to power, Black proximity provides access to culture, language, personal and social liberation, etc. It's perverse in that while proximity to whiteness relies on constantly accepting aggression and insults - proximity to Blackness requires very little if anything. And, even worse, WANTING that proximity is enough to be given preferential treatment over actual Black American people.

That's why non-Black folks automatically flip the racist switch the moment we tell them no. These people do not actually LIKE Black people - they like what proximity to Blackness affords them. A first class seat within Black spaces with preferential treatment, talking points to counter their own culture's exclusion of them, Black spending power, and 'backup' when the over-culture ignores them at best or outright guns for their demise at worst.

And, at this point, I kind of see the Black people who have a problem with gatekeeping as participants in propping up the master's house. Taking in their straggler children and attempting to nanny them into empathy at the expense of other Black people who just want to be able to chat and relax without expectations of surveillance and service.

And then we expect other groups to be willing to do that for us when that is NOT how healthy cultural identity functions. You can be an ally for ethics and humanity without needing to be knee deep in someone else's business (or bedroom) or constantly centering yourself and - truth be told - this is something I've noticed Black Americans do quite frequently when engaging with other groups. It's...kind of cringe.

But, I WILL say that genuine allies completely understand the need for exclusionary communal spaces. They see the value in being able to have those conversations because they have them as well and fiercely protect them. You see it in how Latinos and Asians are having their own discussions about the roles they've played in upholding white supremacy. Indigenous American activists are holding Pretendians and their leadership to account. As an American, I'm just trying to get healthcare, public education funding, and maybe be able to retire. We ALL want that so that's where we can connect.

I don't need to be invited to their table. I have my own.

We can reach across the dining hall for a common aim but otherwise, there are plenty of full plates right here to chow down on.

There's always a black person thats a weak link in the group. Someone that wants approval from different groups and are apologetically black.

We should not need to cower or apologise for being pro-black and pro-black only!

I don’t want to single their sub out, this is a structural criticism not personal, but Black People of Reddit right now, the mods are hard fighting their stance of “everyone is welcome if they follow the rules” and “we’re not hiding from white people”. Again, shifting the structural center to reassuring outsiders they’re okay in the space.

Omg are you reading my mind? I posted in the “black people of reddit” saying “why are there so many non black people commenting in this sub?”. The post of course was met with a lot of discourse between black people who agreed with me, back people who didn’t, and of course a wholeee bunch on non black people.

It frustrated me the most when a non black person commented that the sub itself said “everyone is welcome” Like… well damn guess I need to stfu because the Mods and creators of the sub is enabling this BS!

To make it worst the mods were commenting in this subs and were only commenting to silence those who believed that the sub should be for black voices only.

Those aren’t real Black Spaces. Thats just a space for NBP to sit, monitor, study Black people. I honestly suspect bots/algos specifically created to extract data from BW, especially now w/AI chances are high you’re not talking to real person let alone a real Black Woman but a machine trying to study you. I maintain the stance that Black spaces are Black people only. I don’t care if you would die for Black people, you can’t come here, and if you love us that much then giving us some privacy shouldn’t be a problem. And honestly we need to gatekeep with silence. Just stop talking about our stuff altogether and trying to explain ourselves. This will also mean cutting out those Black women/people who feel the need to run their mouth too, which is unfortunate cuz there are some great BW/BP out there who still feel the need to “nuture” NBP to create “allyship/community”. But at the end of day, if you can’t hold water you don’t get to drink it.

I was in a black only FB group. They decided to be strictly black only. No allies. No friends.

They shared a story about a black soul food FB group. They wanted to include everyone who wanted to learn. White members started reporting black members for being "insensitive ", so then the black members felt like they were walking on eggshells all the time. Then they made a white woman one of the moderators and she really starting culling the "racist" black people out. Then they started redefining what soul food was, with a famous quote that black people don't get to define what soul food is. Soul food is universal. This was when someone pushed back on a white woman's recipe that included raisins. More and more black people left the group and eventually only white people remained active. Eventually the moderator changed the name to take Black or African American (whatever it was) out of the FB group title.

The moderator used the things she learned and the Facebook following that she more or less stole to launch a soul food YouTube channel. She didn't mention or give any credit to the black people who taught and trained her until she was ready to take over.

That is a cautionary tale,

But for real, I just want black spaces because I am tired of always having to stop and explain how something is a microagression, why something is offensive, cultural references. Etc. I just want to be free to express myself. In common spaces, I can be patient. In black spaces, I want to be free.

So everything I am even remotely interested in, I have a common space, and a black only space:

Travel, athiesm, polyamory, homesteading, hiking, etc etc etc. I am looking for a few more black only groups. Edit: like language learners, book clubs, etc.

The same thing happens in a lot of “women’s” subs. I hate it in both spaces. Men and non-Black people think they belong everywhere. And a lot of women and Black people are okay with that which is questionable. 

I absolutely hear you. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think some people are conditioned to keep the peace by default. Historically, when we tried to create spaces for ourselves, the yt people terrorized those spaces.

As a result, openness became a survival tactic, not generosity. That conditioning didn’t disappear. It still shows up in how some of us navigate boundaries and community today.

Sometimes I feel like black people feel the need to be ambassadors of peace and goodwill by “inviting everyone to the cookout”. Self-exclusion, self-promotion, and self-prioritization aren’t negative things (and are things other groups strategically utilize in a way that black people don’t) but I feel there are some black people that don’t understand that, unfortunately. Would any minority group feel the need to make their own spaces if the majority group never exercised self-exclusion, self-promotion, and self-prioritization? Black people can do the same thing, but I am uncertain if enough can get on the same page.

Some (many) black people are too welcoming to their detriment.

Yes 100 percent this. I say we take their stance for this sub. They know how to gatekeep and don’t apologize about it. We have too many secret Uncle Tom’s and Tina’s in here.

I found out recently through an Industry colleague that a newly "Black Owned" restaurant was hosting a "Spades Club" aka interracial romance nights indicated by tattoo affiliation. This after a woman bragged about "her man's people" haggling them for monies for event space usage and not general "support" as customers.

We position "others" in our business models and continually cry "we cant keep anything"

I left the Black People Twitter sub for this reason. Too many others getting a peak into our community and too much freedom to chime in on things they have no business chiming in on. It's basically reddit's version of The Shade Room.

Thank you for calling out the bull💩

I wish that was a thing but every time black people get a space of our own, literally any kind of space, someone comes along and bombs it to hell, both literally and figuratively. I really would love to be able to do this safely, and ironically now with the DEI gone to hell we could start one online and even irl and not be forced to be inclusive, but also, it may just end up like black Wall Street again. I love that the indigenous people have their own space though, they've always been brave enough to stand their own ground and tbh thats one category that always needs to stay protected. Other than us of course lol.

We can never have only spaces! There is always someone amongst us!

I guess people don’t like to feel left out.

I was in a Black Nerd, Black Menopause/Peri or even a Black Women’s Veteran Group, all on Facebook. - Always others in the group, making posts. Even men will be in these groups! 🤔🧐🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

My boyfriend is Afro-Indigenous and I am Blasian. He has long since said he wishes Black people would stop trying to be everything to everyone and would embrace the benefits of gatekeeping. Native Americans underwent one of the most horrific genocides of anywhere on the planet. One of my minors in undergrad was Indigenous Studies and, by 1890, it was - iirc - either barely 250,000 people remaining or a little over 200,000. They lost so much knowledge during the wars and cultural extermination campaign to the point that they are fiercely protective over their heritage, and rightfully so.

Black people, meanwhile, had had everything and the kitchen sink thrown at us, survived yet still bend over backwards to appease folks. For instance, what do you personally gain by teaching non-Blacks how to correctly speak AAVE? The dwights have stolen and largely bastardized jazz and blues when our ancestors could do nothing to stop them yet today we (and this is no diss to the genuine ones who grew up with a genuine love of our people's inventions) are all too eager to allow them anyone with a decent voice to profit from R&B and hip-hop, in particular).

But at the end of the day, ya know, this is Reddit. What doesn't fly here?

I just went the fuck off on them on the black hair up and I just unsubscribe because it’s absolutely crazy that on the app worth several billion dollars with no revenue sharing platform that Black people would allow white people to continuously ask questions in their subs especially about anything to do withblack hair, black skin, black social issues anything like that

yes! I wish we had “black first/exclusive” communities. As you mentioned, I always respected indigenous cultures that gatekeep and i want that for us.

I seen what has happened in other subs where spaces meant for a certain community are overrun by people outside of it treating the forum like free therapy. Even when the subs have FAQ sections made for people outside of the community, they expect others to spend time handing over that information for them on a silver platter.

And it’s not like they are ever trying to be positive or anything either. It’s annoying stuff like “I’m dating this ___ person and I feel like my relationship is over because I have never dated a ______ person before. What do I do?!! 🥺” Or something like “My child is ____ and I have no idea how to parent them accordingly. My life is soooo hard!”

Setting boundaries makes sure that people respect the fact this is a safe space for us

There's a group I'm in on Facebook and they are strict over there lol. I've been in there for awhile and only seen one white person outted

We as a community cannot even define what it means to be black so good luck with that I'd say. The one drop rule has us in a chokehold so the door will always be open for people of anykind to come through.

This sub is probably one of the few places I feel comfortable ever saying anything because if I comment on anything at all in other spaces, some white person comes in and has something stupid to say. Shit's exhausting. Like damn Johnathon, I don't recall asking you shit! 😮‍💨

Indigenous people are very good at gatekeeping. They learned a long time ago what happens when you don't.