We all wanna head into the weekend with a clear conscience. So leave your deepest, darkest confessions. Admit to your most embarrassing secrets. Happens every Friday. This post is open all night long.
Been wanting to get this off my chest for awhile, but I have a cold relationship with my mom and it has led to having a cold relationship with my grandparents. My mom is very close to my grandparents. My mom also enmeshed herself in my sisters life when she was in high school as a part of a midlife crisis which led to a lot of tension within my family. My mom was very consumed with my sisters social life and trying to be the cool mom so she lost touch with being a mother and wife, which really hurt my dad. My dad and i have a great normal relationship so this bothered me a lot. My grandparents lost a child in his 30s who was estranged. I am sure they regretted this a great deal so they were very delicate with their other kids especially my mom. So when she started having an unhealthy over involvement with my sister, they didnt say anything and played into my moms victimhood of feeling unappreciated and ignored the elephant in the room. This made the relationship with them difficult bc any interaction with them inevitably became about my mom and how whatever i was doing made her unhappy. Well they are very old now and dont have much longer and I am sad that our relationship is the way that it is because they are good people. They have good relationships with most of my many cousins and especially two of my siblings but I am the exception bc of the relationship with my mom. It hurts to know that.
I had a very cold relationship with my mom for similar reasons (mid life crisis, cheating on my dad, became untrustworthy).
She ended up passing away suddenly at an early age and I still struggle with our relationship but as time goes on I’ve really come to understand and empathize with how she must have been feeling when she “changed” in my eyes.
I also let it get in the way with my grandparents and I regret it very much. When my mom passed, my grandfathers health rapidly deteriorated over the next couple years due to the grief. I felt very out of place at his funeral due to how many memories I missed by isolating myself from that side of the family essentially.
Please make an effort to maintain the relationship with your grandparents. You might not be able to fix the relationship with your mom as easily but I’m sure your grandparents miss and think about you just as much.
I'm not going to pretend to unpack everything here but sometimes people close to you in the family tree make bad decisions and just because you have the same last name doesn't mean you're obligated to have a great relationship with them.
Hey king, you are able to have your own relationship with your grand parents, without your mom’s involvement. Don’t keep going down this road of regret, just build the relationship you want with them while they’re still here.
I had a long week and some pent up frustration while I was out grabbing dinner. A woman crossing the street gave me attitude for apparently getting to close to her (she was not in cross walk and I was going well below speed limit). I rolled down my window and fairly calmly asked her what the problem was and she was being a c word. My confession is not that I called her a cunt and drove away (I did) but the confession is that it felt very good doing it
I went through a divorce 3 years ago. Got engaged last year. Definitely an upgrade but she’s got some of the same selfish tendencies. Feel like I’m just going to eat the bullet and deal with this until I die
Got divorced about 5.5 years ago. Have been dating my gf for about 2.5 now. We just decided that when her apartment lease comes up (not for like 6 months) she’s going to move in to my house. I’m already getting the Scaries that we’re going to immediately start hating each other
Biggest one is when I ask how her day was and it’s a 20 minute diatribe then when she finishes and asks about my day walks away into to kitchen or bedroom then gets mad when I say fuck it it was fine lol
Think this is just women man, every gf I’ve had can yap for 20 min daily about work while I don’t think I have 30 seconds of interesting stuff to share
Has she ever made you food/coffee, done something nice for you without asking or a special occasion? That’s a pretty solid tell if your gf gives a semblance of a fuck about you or not.
I went to one of her shows last year and she is surprisingly very good looking in person. I was kind of surprised at how much better she looks in person.
I’ve spent far too much time this week on Twitter reading/consuming all things ICE shooting. Just can’t believe what I’m seeing. Totally unhealthy but getting sucked in to it all. I need to stop. Not the sexiest confession but it’s been bugging me and I’m mad at myself for letting it get to me.
One of my big conclusions is that I don’t think nameless burners should be eligible to profit off of tweets. You can just lob absolute engagement grenades with no consequences.
While I was making dinner last night, I realized my inner monologue was narrating my actions like I was hosting a cooking show when I caught myself saying "now let's head back inside and whip up a spicy cucumber salsa"
I hate the Olympics. Well I don't really hate the olympics, I just find almost every event outside of hockey and basketball boring, and it DOMINATES TV for the 2+ weeks it's on. For every event every run looks the same, and you just sit and look at the clock and say oh cool, they were 1/50th of a second faster. Unless of course it's figure skating or gymnastics where you don't even have a clock, you just wait for someone to punch in a number.
I I couldn’t agree more, but I think you made the wrong argument. I’ll try mine.
On any given week I watch idk 7-10 hours of sports? And that’s topped off with 2-4 hours of detailed podcasts analyzing sports and countless hours scrolling Reddit seeing highlights and news pieces. Point is, I know every fucking detail in the sports world for sports I follow, I’m on top of that shit. Most of us are. On any given Sunday I can turn on any game and tell you 5-10 of the starting players, where they went to college, story lines about the franchise currently season and recent seasons etc.
When you watch the Olympics it’s just some random shit you have no information or base knowledge on. It’s completely different from the sport experience I live day to day. I never played a down of football, but I can watch a game and understand all the nuances playing out across the field. That’s not at all true about watching the Olympics. I have no idea what I’m watching or who I am watching other than what the broadcaster tells me.
For me the Olympics are just too niche and I can’t pretend it’s cool. I like tracking the medal counts when USA is leading, and I enjoy a track and field event where we beat The Netherlands for gold - that said I enjoy it the same way some new slammpiece cheers at the bar for her boyfriend team (cluelessl) vs having an educated nuanced view. For me it’s overall just not anywhere near the level of the sports I normally watch where I feel like I know all the players, the strategy, and how to evaluate the results. In the Olympics you sort of just watch and get told what to think (which was basically your point)
My father is in his late 70’s and had a stroke five years ago that, in many ways, ended the existence of the man that was my dad. He recovered partially but has gotten much worse cognitively and went from a mild mannered, extraordinarily kind engineer to an obsessive, controlling, belligerent human being who has trouble with any complex task. There are conflicting diagnosis’s on why he is declining - from NPH (which he had a shunt in his skull installed via brain surgery for) to dementia to general cardio-vascular deterioration causing vascular dementia due to age and radiation damage from previous neck and throat cancer (when he told my brother and me about the cancer he told us he got it the same way Michael Douglas did. By eating pussy - this was typically a very mild mannered man and this was before the stroke. It was hilarious)
About a year ago he sold our childhood home in a panicked fire-sale “because Trump got elected and we needed to all leave the country. We fought and fought him and I did my absolute best to be there for both him and my mother. The compromise was they stay in the country but bank the money and rent. This episode nearly caused his wife of 35 years and my mother to leave him because of his exceedingly bizarre and caustic behavior. They rented from someone nearby and signed a contract for two years. Those landlords have decided not to honor the contract because they want to cash out on the house. I’ve been working with a real estate attorney on this and today we finally came to an agreement (old landlords win but whatever, my parents are too old/not well to fight and the stress was going to give my mom and infarction).
We found a new place for them to live and we had to negotiate with a rich couple on who would be responsible for general appliances - the first draft of the lease was insane and all liability for everything fell on my parents, not the owners of the home. We negotiated with an attorney and today they got an amenable lease they are going to sign and they move next month.
This whole experience has been excruciating for my parents (in different ways - my mom is still with it but extremely neurotic and apt to stress consuming her) and me (the second youngest of their five kids but the only one in the without kids, stable enough to help). This could still fall through but it will be such a relief if we have a place for them to live for the next year and then we reassess if they want to buy again, move to a facility where my dad will get the care he needs, move in with me, etc.
This was long so I want to leave you with something funny. On the last call we had with our 70ish year old attorney my dad went into very graphic detail about all the toilets in the rental and which ones are lady toilets and which ones are men’s toilets. The ancient attorney was dumbfounded and said he had no idea what my father was talking about. My dad cleared up any confusion by letting him know most of the toilets in the house had no room for your dick and balls.
Sorry to hear that dude (ending ruled though). I’ve dealt with dementia in my family and this sounds similar to vascular dementia with underlying, uncontrolled diabetes. Did your dad’s diet change after the stroke? Vascular dementia plus diabetic delirium is a dangerous combo that mimics frontotemporal dementia.
Went through this with a close family friend who talked with my dad about the experience quite a bit. He said, at times, it felt like there was a filter over his own brain. Things like anxiety, impulse control, patience, etc. were all wrecked at times. I imagine it's how the early stages of any cognitive decline or degenerative memory disorder would feel, particularly if you're used to operating with a higher IQ. I'm not afraid of dying, but things like this scare the shit out of me.
Yeah, it’s terrifying and he is often awful to be around but I love him and he did so, so much for me and was virtually a selfless person. I get angry at him for basically ruining my mother’s life but I also realize it’s not him and it’s not his fault. It’s terrifying to think deeply about the situation.
And as far as munching box, the apple may have never even left the tree
I'm sorry for everything that you've gone through but you sound like fantastic son. I already lost my dad, and while my mom is very healthy right now, I do not look forward to having to deal with stuff like this in the future. Enjoy your weekend, you deserve it.
Have a relative with a similar experience in their 70s. Stroke and then they’re just a totally different person half the time, if not more often than that. Tough burden to bear but I try to think of all the times they were patient with me was I was obnoxious in my youth and kinda feel like I’m paying them back by continuing to stick around with them and help out. It’s exhausting but you’re doing the right thing
I’ve been fiendish for a beer for the last week. I’m not an alcoholic or anything, but we have a small baby at home and I’m longing for a quiet couple beers in a quiet bar by myself. I know I should just do it, but it’s hard to tell the wife “you handle this, I’m going to the bar to get away from you for awhile”.
Treat the wife to takeout, but rather than ordering ahead wait until you get to the restaurant and have a drink or two at the bar while you wait for the food to be ready. Can chalk it up to slow service
I was in NYC over Christmas visiting the in-laws. Halfway through the week, we spent an afternoon at The Met, but decided to split up and meet back in the lobby after a few hours. I beelined to a bar a few blocks away, and had the most enjoyable 3 beers as I sat alone watching college football. Was in a great mood for the rest of the trip.
In high school we learned about making Works bombs with the Works toilet bowl cleaner. And we thought if we sealed up the lid of a porta potty with liquid cement we could make a giant shit filled works bomb. But it didn’t work so we stole gas from a neighbor’s gas can and lit the porta potty on fire
Middle school for me, got expelled from middle school for making them on campus over a three day weekend. Arrived to school on Monday with the bomb squad on campus and tin foil still in my backpack.
Yeah we kept it to local parks and whatnot but had a buddy who tossed one in a recycle bin (edit: recycle bin *at school) and I legit thought they were bringing the FBI in
I was dating a girl for about 6 months in the late 00’s and I was head over heels with her. Puppy love. Definitely way too much. Which lead to her breaking up with me. I was very upset about it for weeks. First real heartbreak.
This was around the time the song Breakeven by Script came out. You know the song about a guys who is absolute mess because his girlfriend broke up with him, but she was alright with it and loving life. Great hearing that in the radio all the time.
So after she and I broke up, that was kinda it. No texting, no seeing each other, or closure. Just trying to move on. It wasn’t working but I was trying.
And then a few weeks later, she texted me out of nowhere. We’re catching up. And those feelings I was burying came flooding back, so I asked her if she wanted to get together sometime. Thinking maybe I had a chance.
Nope. She reiterated that we were broken up for good and for some reason thought she should text me to let me know that she is dating somebody. And then on top of that, she tells me that she keeps hearing that Breakeven song on the radio and that it reminds her of us.
I just replied “what kind of monster are you.” And that was the last I heard from her.
Anyway I heard that song this morning. Good song, feelings withstanding. Fuck you Stephanie.
In high school a girl I was talking to got extremely mad that I couldn’t go to a someones house with our group of friends that night. She messaged me on MySpace the next day with a subject line of “Is it too late to apologize?” plus a few lines from the song in the message
One of my exes sent me a pic of her in lingerie with a sad face with sorry by Justin Bieber playing in the background. I tried to follow up and she ignored me. Diabolical
That’s just a lie though to make you feel bad. This girl baited me for seemingly no reason other than missing attention. Our breakup was amicable too smh
Well that is something you shouldn’t have watched damn. But still, all my girlfriends have told me guys think size matters more than they do! Surely they were being honest when they said mine was the perfect size right? Right?!
I’m sorry but you gotta elaborate. This story is insane. She said that and then he doubled down and uploaded a video? What kind of monster did you date
I found the video and confronted her. It was wild. Her face wasn’t in it. It was a reverse cowgirl video. The guys personal social media was all about iron man and his ph login was like iron man 69. After I confronted her the video was taken down.
Got addicted to Grok-ing ex slam pieces/my wife’s friends/any hot girls I’ve ever crossed paths with. Need to knock it off before my wife eventually finds out. Also should probably be buried under the horny jail.
Buddy, I’m trying to turn myself back to god, not lead more people into the depths with me…
… that being said my favorite/most successful move is to use the image to image to get a girl to straddle her friend in a thong and bra and then use that image to video and have her bouncing ass or something. it’s pretty wild
Sorry but your username is hilarious in this context. Next time you’re thinking of groking your friends or in laws just take your own advice. Onwards and upwards
Didn’t really fully grasp the way that my wife had reorganized our cleaning cabinet and just realized that I’ve been using dishwasher detergent pods as laundry detergent for the last 2+ weeks.
I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve been extremely itchy at night every night. Maybe because my clothes are covered in dawn powerwash!
Moore is already looking like perfect Jets material
Been wanting to get this off my chest for awhile, but I have a cold relationship with my mom and it has led to having a cold relationship with my grandparents. My mom is very close to my grandparents. My mom also enmeshed herself in my sisters life when she was in high school as a part of a midlife crisis which led to a lot of tension within my family. My mom was very consumed with my sisters social life and trying to be the cool mom so she lost touch with being a mother and wife, which really hurt my dad. My dad and i have a great normal relationship so this bothered me a lot. My grandparents lost a child in his 30s who was estranged. I am sure they regretted this a great deal so they were very delicate with their other kids especially my mom. So when she started having an unhealthy over involvement with my sister, they didnt say anything and played into my moms victimhood of feeling unappreciated and ignored the elephant in the room. This made the relationship with them difficult bc any interaction with them inevitably became about my mom and how whatever i was doing made her unhappy. Well they are very old now and dont have much longer and I am sad that our relationship is the way that it is because they are good people. They have good relationships with most of my many cousins and especially two of my siblings but I am the exception bc of the relationship with my mom. It hurts to know that.
I had a very cold relationship with my mom for similar reasons (mid life crisis, cheating on my dad, became untrustworthy).
She ended up passing away suddenly at an early age and I still struggle with our relationship but as time goes on I’ve really come to understand and empathize with how she must have been feeling when she “changed” in my eyes.
I also let it get in the way with my grandparents and I regret it very much. When my mom passed, my grandfathers health rapidly deteriorated over the next couple years due to the grief. I felt very out of place at his funeral due to how many memories I missed by isolating myself from that side of the family essentially.
Please make an effort to maintain the relationship with your grandparents. You might not be able to fix the relationship with your mom as easily but I’m sure your grandparents miss and think about you just as much.
I'm not going to pretend to unpack everything here but sometimes people close to you in the family tree make bad decisions and just because you have the same last name doesn't mean you're obligated to have a great relationship with them.
Hey king, you are able to have your own relationship with your grand parents, without your mom’s involvement. Don’t keep going down this road of regret, just build the relationship you want with them while they’re still here.
I had a long week and some pent up frustration while I was out grabbing dinner. A woman crossing the street gave me attitude for apparently getting to close to her (she was not in cross walk and I was going well below speed limit). I rolled down my window and fairly calmly asked her what the problem was and she was being a c word. My confession is not that I called her a cunt and drove away (I did) but the confession is that it felt very good doing it
Hell yeah.
Maybe don’t take out your frustration on a random woman just days after ICE murdered a female for absolutely no reason.
Her, maybe she was even white and a mom too!
Not blaming OP’s actions on 9/11 but it certainly didn’t help things
Pearl Harbor still lingers, the oil is still leaking!
Bruh
This is a stretch
Dawg what
This feels like a stretch
Shades of the bourbon street take from last year
Can always count on Keels to post some dumb shit in early January
Ya’ll better bring the same energy you did when the Minneapolis-St Paul Police shot Philando Castile
Maybe. But would he have reacted the same if it was a man?
Yes an idiot in the road is an idiot in the road.
I can promise you it had nothing to do with gender and I probably would have called a man a cunt just the same
Bag with an f
Do you believe the answer to that would be informed by the recency with which that woman got shot
confession: i spent 5 hours on free talk from 35,000 feet earlier today.
I had a day in jury duty where I refreshed twitter and FT back and forth for four hours.
I went through a divorce 3 years ago. Got engaged last year. Definitely an upgrade but she’s got some of the same selfish tendencies. Feel like I’m just going to eat the bullet and deal with this until I die
I hope it goes well, but I think if I got divorced, I’d probably just never marry again.
That’s what I told myself but she has big natties and no gag reflex so I was kind of trapped
Thanks.
Can we see?
Yeah you sound like a guy that’s gonna make this mistake a few times.
Everyone knows that tits retain their shape permanently and women never lose their enthusiasm for sucking dick so it sounds like you're all set
Got divorced about 5.5 years ago. Have been dating my gf for about 2.5 now. We just decided that when her apartment lease comes up (not for like 6 months) she’s going to move in to my house. I’m already getting the Scaries that we’re going to immediately start hating each other
@Satan @hell
At least it’ll be to your place..vs finding a place together
Can you give some examples
Biggest one is when I ask how her day was and it’s a 20 minute diatribe then when she finishes and asks about my day walks away into to kitchen or bedroom then gets mad when I say fuck it it was fine lol
Think this is just women man, every gf I’ve had can yap for 20 min daily about work while I don’t think I have 30 seconds of interesting stuff to share
If allowed, most guys probably wouldn't say more than 100 words in a day.
Has she ever made you food/coffee, done something nice for you without asking or a special occasion? That’s a pretty solid tell if your gf gives a semblance of a fuck about you or not.
Have you considered breaking up with her and just becoming a third world country hooker guy?
Women do be womening
I’ve laughed at more than 1 of Caroline’s reels that have popped up when I’ve been doom scrolling on Instagram
The WNBA version of the gay hockey show that she did the other day was funny
she's pretty funny
Hot*
I went to one of her shows last year and she is surprisingly very good looking in person. I was kind of surprised at how much better she looks in person.
Been sick all week. Just want to go out and drink heavily. Might still.
Do you feel better now that you’ve got that off your chest?
Sadly no, Bob. But I'll try to tough it out
I’ve spent far too much time this week on Twitter reading/consuming all things ICE shooting. Just can’t believe what I’m seeing. Totally unhealthy but getting sucked in to it all. I need to stop. Not the sexiest confession but it’s been bugging me and I’m mad at myself for letting it get to me.
One of my big conclusions is that I don’t think nameless burners should be eligible to profit off of tweets. You can just lob absolute engagement grenades with no consequences.
Get off the X.
Delete da account.
The everything app?
The entire thing is an absolute tragedy. Without hyperbole I think we are losing what makes up Americans. I’ve also been doing the doom scrolling on X
While I was making dinner last night, I realized my inner monologue was narrating my actions like I was hosting a cooking show when I caught myself saying "now let's head back inside and whip up a spicy cucumber salsa"
Hell yeah Bobby flay in the house!
I hate the Olympics. Well I don't really hate the olympics, I just find almost every event outside of hockey and basketball boring, and it DOMINATES TV for the 2+ weeks it's on. For every event every run looks the same, and you just sit and look at the clock and say oh cool, they were 1/50th of a second faster. Unless of course it's figure skating or gymnastics where you don't even have a clock, you just wait for someone to punch in a number.
I I couldn’t agree more, but I think you made the wrong argument. I’ll try mine.
On any given week I watch idk 7-10 hours of sports? And that’s topped off with 2-4 hours of detailed podcasts analyzing sports and countless hours scrolling Reddit seeing highlights and news pieces. Point is, I know every fucking detail in the sports world for sports I follow, I’m on top of that shit. Most of us are. On any given Sunday I can turn on any game and tell you 5-10 of the starting players, where they went to college, story lines about the franchise currently season and recent seasons etc.
When you watch the Olympics it’s just some random shit you have no information or base knowledge on. It’s completely different from the sport experience I live day to day. I never played a down of football, but I can watch a game and understand all the nuances playing out across the field. That’s not at all true about watching the Olympics. I have no idea what I’m watching or who I am watching other than what the broadcaster tells me.
For me the Olympics are just too niche and I can’t pretend it’s cool. I like tracking the medal counts when USA is leading, and I enjoy a track and field event where we beat The Netherlands for gold - that said I enjoy it the same way some new slammpiece cheers at the bar for her boyfriend team (cluelessl) vs having an educated nuanced view. For me it’s overall just not anywhere near the level of the sports I normally watch where I feel like I know all the players, the strategy, and how to evaluate the results. In the Olympics you sort of just watch and get told what to think (which was basically your point)
Settle down Mamdani when it comes to the USA dominating the global sports scene I want as much of that on my tv as possible
US could dominate grass growing, doesn't mean I want to watch it.
Unamerican
My father is in his late 70’s and had a stroke five years ago that, in many ways, ended the existence of the man that was my dad. He recovered partially but has gotten much worse cognitively and went from a mild mannered, extraordinarily kind engineer to an obsessive, controlling, belligerent human being who has trouble with any complex task. There are conflicting diagnosis’s on why he is declining - from NPH (which he had a shunt in his skull installed via brain surgery for) to dementia to general cardio-vascular deterioration causing vascular dementia due to age and radiation damage from previous neck and throat cancer (when he told my brother and me about the cancer he told us he got it the same way Michael Douglas did. By eating pussy - this was typically a very mild mannered man and this was before the stroke. It was hilarious)
About a year ago he sold our childhood home in a panicked fire-sale “because Trump got elected and we needed to all leave the country. We fought and fought him and I did my absolute best to be there for both him and my mother. The compromise was they stay in the country but bank the money and rent. This episode nearly caused his wife of 35 years and my mother to leave him because of his exceedingly bizarre and caustic behavior. They rented from someone nearby and signed a contract for two years. Those landlords have decided not to honor the contract because they want to cash out on the house. I’ve been working with a real estate attorney on this and today we finally came to an agreement (old landlords win but whatever, my parents are too old/not well to fight and the stress was going to give my mom and infarction).
We found a new place for them to live and we had to negotiate with a rich couple on who would be responsible for general appliances - the first draft of the lease was insane and all liability for everything fell on my parents, not the owners of the home. We negotiated with an attorney and today they got an amenable lease they are going to sign and they move next month.
This whole experience has been excruciating for my parents (in different ways - my mom is still with it but extremely neurotic and apt to stress consuming her) and me (the second youngest of their five kids but the only one in the without kids, stable enough to help). This could still fall through but it will be such a relief if we have a place for them to live for the next year and then we reassess if they want to buy again, move to a facility where my dad will get the care he needs, move in with me, etc.
This was long so I want to leave you with something funny. On the last call we had with our 70ish year old attorney my dad went into very graphic detail about all the toilets in the rental and which ones are lady toilets and which ones are men’s toilets. The ancient attorney was dumbfounded and said he had no idea what my father was talking about. My dad cleared up any confusion by letting him know most of the toilets in the house had no room for your dick and balls.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Sorry to hear that dude (ending ruled though). I’ve dealt with dementia in my family and this sounds similar to vascular dementia with underlying, uncontrolled diabetes. Did your dad’s diet change after the stroke? Vascular dementia plus diabetic delirium is a dangerous combo that mimics frontotemporal dementia.
Went through this with a close family friend who talked with my dad about the experience quite a bit. He said, at times, it felt like there was a filter over his own brain. Things like anxiety, impulse control, patience, etc. were all wrecked at times. I imagine it's how the early stages of any cognitive decline or degenerative memory disorder would feel, particularly if you're used to operating with a higher IQ. I'm not afraid of dying, but things like this scare the shit out of me.
Also, shoutout to pops for munching a ton of box.
Yeah, it’s terrifying and he is often awful to be around but I love him and he did so, so much for me and was virtually a selfless person. I get angry at him for basically ruining my mother’s life but I also realize it’s not him and it’s not his fault. It’s terrifying to think deeply about the situation.
And as far as munching box, the apple may have never even left the tree
Hope you have a good weekend too man.
I'm sorry for everything that you've gone through but you sound like fantastic son. I already lost my dad, and while my mom is very healthy right now, I do not look forward to having to deal with stuff like this in the future. Enjoy your weekend, you deserve it.
I truly appreciate this and am sorry for you and your family’s lost. You sound like a great son too
Have a relative with a similar experience in their 70s. Stroke and then they’re just a totally different person half the time, if not more often than that. Tough burden to bear but I try to think of all the times they were patient with me was I was obnoxious in my youth and kinda feel like I’m paying them back by continuing to stick around with them and help out. It’s exhausting but you’re doing the right thing
I’ve been fiendish for a beer for the last week. I’m not an alcoholic or anything, but we have a small baby at home and I’m longing for a quiet couple beers in a quiet bar by myself. I know I should just do it, but it’s hard to tell the wife “you handle this, I’m going to the bar to get away from you for awhile”.
I feel you. We just had our first and I'd do anything for a few beers without hearing crying or needing to change a diaper.
Treat the wife to takeout, but rather than ordering ahead wait until you get to the restaurant and have a drink or two at the bar while you wait for the food to be ready. Can chalk it up to slow service
This is an A+ dad move that I have adopted for a while now
These tips are why reddit was made...
I call this the dad tax
I was in NYC over Christmas visiting the in-laws. Halfway through the week, we spent an afternoon at The Met, but decided to split up and meet back in the lobby after a few hours. I beelined to a bar a few blocks away, and had the most enjoyable 3 beers as I sat alone watching college football. Was in a great mood for the rest of the trip.
Incredible move, I would have never even thought of that being an option
Now here’s a guy who gets it
Veteran move
I did this a few times when she was pregnant. Might have to run it back, good looking out.
You wouldn’t believe the amount of times our local watering holes kitchen was really slammed and backed up when I would go pick up food
"Good thing I checked the bag... they forgot your dressing".
In high school we learned about making Works bombs with the Works toilet bowl cleaner. And we thought if we sealed up the lid of a porta potty with liquid cement we could make a giant shit filled works bomb. But it didn’t work so we stole gas from a neighbor’s gas can and lit the porta potty on fire
Middle school for me, got expelled from middle school for making them on campus over a three day weekend. Arrived to school on Monday with the bomb squad on campus and tin foil still in my backpack.
Yeah we kept it to local parks and whatnot but had a buddy who tossed one in a recycle bin (edit: recycle bin *at school) and I legit thought they were bringing the FBI in
I was dating a girl for about 6 months in the late 00’s and I was head over heels with her. Puppy love. Definitely way too much. Which lead to her breaking up with me. I was very upset about it for weeks. First real heartbreak.
This was around the time the song Breakeven by Script came out. You know the song about a guys who is absolute mess because his girlfriend broke up with him, but she was alright with it and loving life. Great hearing that in the radio all the time.
So after she and I broke up, that was kinda it. No texting, no seeing each other, or closure. Just trying to move on. It wasn’t working but I was trying.
And then a few weeks later, she texted me out of nowhere. We’re catching up. And those feelings I was burying came flooding back, so I asked her if she wanted to get together sometime. Thinking maybe I had a chance.
Nope. She reiterated that we were broken up for good and for some reason thought she should text me to let me know that she is dating somebody. And then on top of that, she tells me that she keeps hearing that Breakeven song on the radio and that it reminds her of us.
I just replied “what kind of monster are you.” And that was the last I heard from her.
Anyway I heard that song this morning. Good song, feelings withstanding. Fuck you Stephanie.
Let he who hasn't sent a hyper-sensationalized text cast the first one
“If I told you this was killing me, would you stop?”
In high school a girl I was talking to got extremely mad that I couldn’t go to a someones house with our group of friends that night. She messaged me on MySpace the next day with a subject line of “Is it too late to apologize?” plus a few lines from the song in the message
One of my exes sent me a pic of her in lingerie with a sad face with sorry by Justin Bieber playing in the background. I tried to follow up and she ignored me. Diabolical
I had an ex tell me that her new bf was bigger and that I could never fuck here like he can.
That’s just a lie though to make you feel bad. This girl baited me for seemingly no reason other than missing attention. Our breakup was amicable too smh
Not a lie. He uploaded a video to PH. This was like 2015. I saw it and confronted her.
Well at least she appreciated honesty
Well that is something you shouldn’t have watched damn. But still, all my girlfriends have told me guys think size matters more than they do! Surely they were being honest when they said mine was the perfect size right? Right?!
Send da video
I’m sorry but you gotta elaborate. This story is insane. She said that and then he doubled down and uploaded a video? What kind of monster did you date
I found the video and confronted her. It was wild. Her face wasn’t in it. It was a reverse cowgirl video. The guys personal social media was all about iron man and his ph login was like iron man 69. After I confronted her the video was taken down.
50/50 whether she was that desperate to make him jealous, or had an actual sexual awakening with the new dude. I think it’s the former surely
Got addicted to Grok-ing ex slam pieces/my wife’s friends/any hot girls I’ve ever crossed paths with. Need to knock it off before my wife eventually finds out. Also should probably be buried under the horny jail.
Shame me straight fellas
Share a the class
This is the best confession we’ve ever had. You def belong in real jail thou
Lord Elon would pardon me
Someone explain this to me - it can't mean what I think it means
https://masstimes.org
My god
What’s the most common prompt you’re throwing out there?
Buddy, I’m trying to turn myself back to god, not lead more people into the depths with me…
… that being said my favorite/most successful move is to use the image to image to get a girl to straddle her friend in a thong and bra and then use that image to video and have her bouncing ass or something. it’s pretty wild
Thanks.
Lol
Back to the Goon Cave I go
Welcome brother. It sucks in here
Borat voice my wife
Didn’t know you were still doing it
Sometimes the right moment comes along, and tonight that’s you man 🍻
Couldn’t beat this information out of me.
@ grok visualize this guy nude.
Now how does it feel? I’m staring at your balls right now
That’s pretty gay dude
You need Jesus
My god
Hey might be time to take a cold shower. Get it?
1.7 balls
This is a desperate level of horny and I’m embarrassed for you.
So are my ancestors
You’re weak, you’re out of control, and you’ve become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else
I said my piece Chrissy!
Your hair was in the toilet water, disgusting
Spot on
Sorry but your username is hilarious in this context. Next time you’re thinking of groking your friends or in laws just take your own advice. Onwards and upwards
No apology necessary, I’m not here to argue
🤝
Didn’t really fully grasp the way that my wife had reorganized our cleaning cabinet and just realized that I’ve been using dishwasher detergent pods as laundry detergent for the last 2+ weeks.
I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve been extremely itchy at night every night. Maybe because my clothes are covered in dawn powerwash!
Not having the laundry detergent pods next to the washer and the dishwasher pods next to the dishwasher is psychopathic.
You gonna tell her?
Finally a real confession
This one is stupid but fun, big fan
Borat voice my wife
😂🤣😂🤣😂
Starting this week's confessions off strong.