My mate, who lives in Sydney, Australia, recently had an experience that’s similar to situations where only certain Asian individuals are singled out by racists in a whole crowd or whole neighborhood of Asians and having appearance being remarked negatively or getting called "ugly" . He and his girlfriend, both of East/Southeast Asian descent, were dining at an Asian restaurant. He said it was a busy time of year, and the place was packed with customers—about three-quarters of whom were of East/Southeast Asians faces, ranging in age from young kids to older adults.
Despite the crowded atmosphere, my mate said he and his girlfriend were simply enjoying their meal and keeping to themselves. They didn’t interact with anyone in a way that could have sparked any conflict. However, while they were sitting there, a white Aussie couple walked past them and made a comment to them that caught them off guard. The couple said, “Don’t worry, two ugly faces will make one beautiful baby.”
Now, some might jump to the conclusion to say that "this behaviour is racially motivated", but the situation is a bit more complicated. The white couple didn’t direct any negative behaviour or make rude remarks to anyone else in the restaurant, not even the slightest bit. He said the white Aussie couple were polite and respectful to the other Asian customers and the Asian waitstaff. So, is this incident still racism-oriented, or more about lookism?
(and according to my buddy, those Aussie couple turned to face him and his girlfriend and made the remark)
(Also, according to him and his girlfriend, the restaurant’s atmosphere and decor were not fancy, but rather mediocre, more like a typical, average-grade place. )
He should have just replied “like you?”.
No, the haters will hate you more if you’re more attractive, more successful. Good look and success might give you a bigger social circle and make the haters scared of the consequences of acting on their hate though. But deep down, they always feel like you’re here to take away what “belongs” to them.
Ofc not. Maybe they get less. And if the symmetry looks adjacent enough to Caucasian characteristics probably even less so but certainly not zero. Especially among their competition.
I actually experienced anecdotally from male teenagers (think of those broccoli heads) like I’m the competition to them. Mainly because all of their females friends in the group all gazing at me. Sorry, can’t help it 😉
Good looks doesn't let you escape racism , but they will bend a few rules like place you with average looking men in western countries. Even though deep down they know you are better looking .
"attractiveness" doesn't matter here, especially since eurocentric beauty standards fundamentally works against Asians. So even Asians who are generally good looking in my books could still be denounced as ugly by white people due to them having "slanty eyes" or whatever.
The dumbest thing Asians can do is using eurocentric beauty standards determine how good looking or ugly we are. It's like letting your "enemy" determine your self worth. Many Asians have gotten so used to this inferiority complex way of thinking. As if whatever is promoted in western media, is some kind of bible, to obey and follow. If you don't look like white, then you are ugly / inferior.
I agree, tho I wouldn't completely condemn on everyone who have exhibited that sense of self hate necessarily (unless they are also looking to propagate such sentiment for malicious intent.) We have to keep in mind that the western imperialist core has been successful in projecting their long held "standards" to be the ideal default internationally via soft power, so you can see how some would just end up being conditioned in that way of thinking without being aware that they are.
Yeah, we don't know what we don't know or have no self awareness of. Being dumb is part of the learning process. Asian in Asia being the majority won't get affected as much, but for Asia diaspora to thrive, looking inward and overcoming our internalized biases is crucial.
But not all Asians have "slanty" eyes, Filipinos, Cambodians and Vietnamese don't have "slanty" eyes, they have big eyes and high nose bridge
lol Ive been to all those countries. Most Filipinos range from austronesian looking to east asian looking, and most Viets/Cambodians are basically indistinguishable from Southern Chinese.
Was just mentioning that slanty eyes (nothing wrong with having longer eyes ofc) as an example.
Having differences in appearance is common amongst all Asians in general, even within specific ethnic groups. Like there are East Asians with big eyes whilst the ethnicities you just mentioned also have almond shaped eyes amongst them as well.
I was commenting on how eurocentric beauty standards employs an orientalised, hegemonic perspective on Asians where they paint them all as looking the same, when really we are very diverse.
All asians will experience racism in western countries, you can easily tell just by looking at the media. Places where the media ignores Asian males and fetishizes Asian women, as Asians why wouldn’t you experience racism? Being physically attractive is subjective, the general Asian features are not.
Then there are always the Asians who believe in white adjacency, who choose to interpret racist micro aggressions as “misunderstandings” or “Asians being overly sensitive”. To these people, normalizing discrimination against other Asians makes them feeling more white, because that’s what they believe the white folks want.
Anything anti-China is anti-Asian , during covid proves how non- asians sees us . It doesn't matter what Asian you are.
No, they experience more racism due to jealousy and envy from others.
The fact kpop men keeps getting compare to western beauty standards such as the sigma jawline that western white men seems to obsessive over and peaky blinders. There is a facebook fan page of Peaky blinders that keeps bashing and hates kpop men.
Asians need to understand they will never be accepted by the white man. If you're a loser they will bully and ridicule you; if you're successful they will seek to destroy you out jealousy and hatred.
All Asians can experience racism. Racist can't tell what's considered attractive in Asia. To them all Asians are ugly. That's why many Asians have internalized racism, and self image issues.
I think if an Asian has very "Asian" features, like small eyes, mono eyelid, or dark skin, they could get more racial slurs.
Having lived both in Asia and the west, what i've noticed is if you are attractive in Asia, you are a nobody in the west.
Whites can smell which Asians have "weak" energy and won't talk back. How the Asian guy carries himself can also determine your group gets targeted. Unfortunately Asians gentle nature can be a vulnerability in the west. Ofc it could also be random.
Racism is lookism. Bullies need create a good image for themselves. So how nice they are to others is really just putting on a show. It's like how whites are extra "nice and polite" towards Asian women, but don't have problem disrespecting Asian men. Racists care very much about their reputation.
That's how they fool everyone. Some play the good guys, others play the bad guy. They make you feel you are the problem. Don't fall for it.
I’m good looking at I still got bullied in high school
The comment the white couple said was likely more about lookism, bc from your description of your friends, it sounds like they looked more “oriental” which doesn’t adhere to western beauty standards. It can be difficult to discern the difference between lookism and racism sometimes since people who don’t look white in western countries might receive certain micro aggressions or crude remarks due to how different they look from the majority populace.
I lived on the east coast US for most of my life since immigrating from Asia, and I’ve only faced racism once, and that was when I was a kid in 4th or 5th grade. I don’t think I possess stereotypical Asian features since no one has ever made fun of my eyes or said I had a flat face. My parents have lived in the US since the 2000s and they haven’t said anything about being made fun of for being Asian either.
I get your point about "East Asian Features" but even though most of my Filipino and Vietnamese friends also say that only Oriental Faces of East Asians get discriminated against for looks from White people, but according to my buddy and his girlfriend, about all Asian customers at that restaurant appear to be EAST ASIAN FEATURES, (yet they didn't get picked on) . Also, according to them， the other Asian customers were clearly East Asians, NOT Filipino /Vietnamese/Japanese with large eyes and high nose bridge. If I remember clearly you are half Filipino and half Japanese , you might have traveled to different places in the world maybe you could elaborate further on your observations
We don’t really know why only your friends were singled out by the white couple out of all the Asian customers in the restaurant. Since they were the only couple that were harassed by them, it’s likely the white couple thought they were the easiest targets. Sadly, Asians being made fun of for their facial features happens everywhere in the world.
I lived in Japan and the Philippines before immigrating to the US. I was never made fun of for my ethnic background as a kid in Asia, since I looked Asian and blended in with everyone else.
All Asians experience racism, but attractive people of all races typically face less racism because humans are wired to see attractiveness as positive.
Its a psychological attack by the white couple
Just tell em "wow I bet your kid will be handsome or some shit"
And see that smile melt away then they see the "lowly" Asians fight back
All Asian folks experience racism.
Ugly people get bullied more in general and that will include racial bullying. I am of the opinion that their appearance is the gateway that lets people get away with all of this. I am also of the opinion that lookism and racism are tied in, since a lot of our beauty standards are eurocentric and the more "beautiful" POC are the ones who adhere more to white beauty standards.
But beautiful people will still get racism, it's just not usually the aggressive, open racism you saw and more like fetishization. Or if there is racism, it only comes up in less direct circumstances, so an attractive Asian might not get bullied in person but might get nasty comments on social media.
I also think that in this specific case, because Asians are stereotyped as being passive that people are more open to bullying them (in this case, about their looks) openly, so again the mixture of racism and lookism.
Well according to him and his girlfriend, the restaurant’s atmosphere and decor were not fancy, but rather mediocre, more like a typical, average-grade place. And to me and our group of colleagues and acquaintances, he and his girlfriend both looked above average in terms of attractiveness, similar to the looks of typical Asian celebrities like "Simu Liu" and "Grace Huang".
The decor of the restaurant is completely irrelevant, I think it's really likely about Asians being easy targets for bullying because they're seen as passive. Unfortunately, I will say that a lot of people consider Simu Liu very ugly so perhaps your friend was to that couple. I'm not saying I do, but just from what I've seen on the internet.
What? Simu is ugly? well, I would NEVER describe Simu Liu as "ugly" , even though almost ALL of my Filipino friends, Vietnamese friends and Cantonese friends also say "Simu is ugly" for their standards. I just think some Asians have really high standards for each other