I'm a senior in uni (tech, T50), and presently have no job lined up as we're exiting 2025. I'm currently employed in tech and have experience, but what I need most is a full-time offer, which I've yet to snag.
What's my future looking like? Is it really the unforgiving bottomless pit I foresee it'll be? Can I look forward to a depressing rest of your life? How do you cope with wasting your "best years" at home instead of some HCOL Asian city like NYC or LA?
How do you manage to enjoy life in the meantime? How has your mental health been? How has your social life been? How hard is it to "climb back up" again?
In particular, is this a common problem for Asians? How do you get over the shame of being from the smartest group yet still failing?
Wondering the same thing, not sure what the solution is for mediocre individuals like me. I don't think scraping by and hoping UBI will save us is a good idea.
You should have no “shame from failing.” That’s your parents getting inside your head along with anxiety from fear of failure from parental pressure. Obviously, you were a dutiful Asian child who studied hard and earned good grades so you are ready to have a good time. Save up money by living at home for a few years and you’ll have a great start for retirement. It’s called “compound interest”. Most Asians are born with that instinct. You also probably don’t have to cook for yourself, it’s a win-win.
Asians tend to have plans and proceed while whites just change course when things don’t work out or have no plans at all, which can be good or bad. Asians have more pressure from their parents. Next year the economy will be better, more hiring. You already have experience so you have a leg up from new grads.
I don’t know why you think you can’t date now unless you are not in an area with a lot of Asians. The smart ones are in Northern CA. The more attractive ones are in Southern CA but they are less authentic. Of course, generalizations but some truth to it. Best wishes.
I am in the NYC metro area. Which has a lot of Asians. But I'm honestly turned off by so many of them.
I just wanna be better than my NEET otaku cousin from China who somehow got into what's often considered a really good US state school, but ended up failing so miserably in class he dropped out and just spent his entire 20s in his dad's (my uncle's) apartment he grew up in. I just wanna be able to have girls over and have sex if I wanted to. I just wanna "get life started".
Yet the bar to even the slightest degree of independence inexplicably seems impossibly high, and I don't know how much more average-seeming people manage to eke out much more pleasant and sociable existences in this accursed world.
Los Angeles is a lower cost of living but Silicon Valley has more tech but the cost of living is as high as NYC. For more fun, I would suggest Los Angeles. It's boring here in Silicon Valley. Maybe you can get a remote job and live in Los Angeles.
If you’re so worried about living with your parents, look for roommates and you’re not mooching if you’re contributing financially. Are you helping your folks out or just living there for free?
Helping out? Usually Asian parents already have the mortgage paid off 😂 and the rest is chump change. Asians don’t ask their kids for rent.
Well I am Asian and I help pay them rent
I didn’t know you knew about all Asian households!
What an assumption 😂 I’m full Asian, grew up in CA, know the culture well. Love your alias.
Here’s a shocker, so am I! Did you know there are Asian immigrants who don’t own a home! Shocking, right?
Chinese immigrants? That’s rare. Then again, I live in Silicon Valley where there’s a lot of success.
Chinese people aren’t the only Asians in America and also where I live, NYC, we have older Chinese immigrants who don’t own homes and collect bottles.
That's news to me. How are you enjoying the weather there now?
I hate it here. It’s snowing, I’m planning my exit soon.
Your best years are when you choose to make them your best years. Every next year is my best year.
One out of three young people (18-34) in the U.S. live with their parents. If it helps you can think of your parents as roommates that you get along with (which is at least better than roommates you can't stand), and the reason you are having roommates is to save money. Culturally in Europe and Asia, multigenerational living is quite common. American culture is different: nevertheless, 1 in 3 live with their parents. Whether you want to retain close family ties with your parents is up to you: it does seem more common with Asians, Italians, Mormons, etc.
Multigenerational living in super common in Hispanic and Black communities as well as Asian and Italian communities. Most immigrant communities in general. Only WASPs look down upon it.
And 1 in 3? Try more like almost half of people under 40 live with their parents!
So the kick out once you turn 18 is a WASP tradition? Not also Blacks who are second default Americans after Whites?
Yeah, it is mostly a WASP tradition to kick their children out of the house once they turn 18. Most other races tend to be a more lenient. Most immigrant communities, as well as Black and Hispanic communities, have multigenerational homes. Asians and Italians too. Mormons as well.
I have a friend that’s in his mid 40s that has multiple career changes. He got a degree in marketing but didn’t like marketing so he got a job with the feds doing logistics. Did it for 1.5 years then got a job for the county. Did that for few 8 months but didn’t like his boss so he quit that. Got into life insurance and tried to do that for few months but didn’t realize how hard it was to sell life insurance and annuities. Got into real estate and worked for a broker where he made decent money but wasn’t consistent enough so he a got a job with the county doing property management. Didn’t like it because he felt underpaid so he quit that. Went back to school to get into healthcare and is now working. Hopefully, this is the last career change for him. He has rich parents but they can only take so much. I know some other people with rich parents where they just live off their wealth. All in their late 30s to mid 40s that don’t really work.
Leveraging the fact you can stay at home is a strategy that a lot of people use. You can still date, climb the corporate ladder or build up your own entrepreneurial ventures, and save up a lot. Especially if your family is in a LCOL area. Not having to pay extremely high rent for a place to live helps you reach millionaire status pretty early on. T50 and tech if you get a decent job like near or around 100k total comp, with some decent investing and low expenses, you'd have a good chance of millionaire status by or in your 30s. Which is a decent amount to live off just investments or especially overseas.
For your specific immediate line of work you might want to look into AI Engineering. It's a good pivot from data science.
i was a data science major who graduated in 2024. i spent my entire college years not studying and going to parties n hooking up with girls. wasn’t able to land a data science job after college. Moved to the midwest after landing a 6 figure job. I have since left that job and moved back with parents in the socal asian enclave. it hasn’t been too bad, My dating life has finally gone back to normal (back to amazing) even though im technically an unemployed bum now. $0 in good asian area > 100K in midwest , for dating at least
People who claim their sex lives or dating lives are amazing are using their hand. There’s so many Asians on these subreddits who brag as if they are gifts from God. Nobody looks like a young Russell Wong. 😂
that’s pure cope buddy. keep imagining that to make urself feel better . I’ll take it as a compliment that my feats are so impressive that strangers online can’t even fathom it. I’d hate to reach adulthood without having experienced this beautiful yet eye opening side of life.
Interesting. I'm in DS too (though as a double major with CS, not instead of CS). Props for landing a 100k job in the Midwest even if it wasn't DS related, might end up doing the same. The area I went to school in isn't in Socal but it could also be considered an Asian enclave (and I'd say I'm pretty involved with my local Asian community).
Where in the Midwest were you?
Wisconsin.
Try applying out there, stick through it for a year. With no dating or social life you can probably save up 50k That will buy you some time while you figure ur life out. i’m completely transitioning away from DS/CS and am now going into healthcare
AI is gonna ruin the market soon, Esp for entry level jobs.
If it's Madison or Milwaukee I might enjoy it. If elsewhere it might be a challenge but I could definitely try.
Epic is a tech company in Madison that I keep seeing on LinkedIn, and i know some people who’ve moved there for work in STEM. Maybe there’s other tech companies out there too.