I don't know if this is something someone else experienced, but there were very few occasions throughout school where some people actually defended me against someone else being rude or whatever, and I'm just thinking "did you not have the capacity to be like that every day?".
E.g. it was quite well documented that I was not good at sport. A new boy (who had been kicked out from his previous one) made a remark about me being a "pussy" or whatever and immediately some of the boys jumped in to defend me. The new boy in question did seem like the type to just go for someone if they as much as "looked at them funny" so maybe they just saw red. He was very apologetic multiple times.
That's just one example, there's quite a few others. I just feel a bit sad about it because it just left me going into adulthood feeling like people being nice to me and supportive and whatever is a novelty. It still feels like one.
Not that I'm sure why this is, but I guess the reaction is to the situation (i.e., new kid is "breaching territory" by coming after you as well as being an asshole) as much as, if not more, than defending you?
Possibly.
Even in non "new kid" situations they've had their odd moment of being nice when they were a dickhead on the days either side.
Are they kind to you in public?
What do you mean by public?
Was there anyone near enough to see and/or hear them be nice to you (public)? Or were they nice to you when there was nobody else there to observe it (private)?
A mix of both. Sometimes they weren't afraid to be kind collectively in front of each other, but there were also times where they could still be rude when there was no one else to hear it. That was uncommon though.
Yeah same with me!
It's such a weird thing. I know logically people being decent should be the default but I don't think it has registered.