Honey you really need to respect yourself a little more. Sex is about intimacy and connection. He isn’t present during sex. He’s hiding you under the covers. And sure people are into different things and I can imagine playing a game while getting oral is kinda relaxing, but it’s so disconnected it’s weird he wants it all the time. If he cums quick so what? He can give you head to get you there or wait for round two… I don’t think this is normal that he’s on his phone during sex at all. If you feel this way you should talk to him. If he keeps insisting that you said you were okay with it that’s a red flag. Consent can be given but also be taken away. If you feel uncomfortable he should respect that. I think you’re worrying about the wrong thing here.

Uhh he's definitely just using you as a human fleshlight. He make you go under the covers so he can fantasize about someone other than you while he looks at pictures or videos of other people. Please don't settle for this asshole.

Oh, sweetheart. This guy doesn’t even want to look at you during sex, let alone think about you. Please work on improving your self worth.

He's likely watching porn. You don't have to be with someone like that!

Say no and don't do it. Sexual coercion is not okay. This is your first sexual relationship, so you may not recognize this as sexual coercion, but pressuring you to do something sexually after you've said no (even if it's something you've said yes to in the past) is sexual coercion, and it's abusive.

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How about having a conversation "Hey - I know I said you being on the phone watching porn while I give you head under the covers didn't bother me, but it turns out that it actually DOES."

If he apologizes and puts his phone away, great. If he whines and complains well you know who he is and what he expects and that it's never going to change.

Personally this would be a deal breaker for me but everyone is different...

A) he's watching porn or naked pictures of other women.

B) this is a general thing (FYI if you will)- gay men have kids too. Being gay doesn't stop all of them from having biological kids.

C) he says he is playing a game so he doesn't cum too soon ??? Who's he holding out for ?! Like who's actually timing him ? Just cum if u want to dude. Have the fun you're supposed to!! You don't have to hold back.

D) definitely not something all guys do. Absolutely not.

You can do better girlfriend.

You’re only 6 months into this relationship. He’s shown you how he will treat you, and it makes you feel bad about yourself.

For your own sake, cut your losses and give yourself a chance to find someone who not only respects you sexually but who doesn’t dismiss you when you bring up something important.

You deserve better than this.

It’s ok to say no.

My advice is: don’t do things in a relationship that make you unhappy.

He tells you to go under the covers and you don’t want to? Don’t.

You tried it, you don’t like it, so he gives you shit about it? Don’t fuck men who give you shit about what you don’t like in bed.

Dating is a process of learning about each other. You’ve learned he’s a shitty lay and also a coercive asshole in bed.

Do you want to give your love and affection to a coercive asshole? Do you want to be treated like crap in bed? If the answer is no, dump this jerk and go find a nicer man.

Seriously, having a super low tolerance for stupid bullshit is the way you do not waste time in relationships with dumb assholes.

If a guy pulled out his phone during sexy time with me I would throw it out the window/break it with a hammer/flush it down the toilet. Sorry this is your first experience, this is not normal.

That’s disrespectful ..have some self respect and dump this bastard

When you say you’re not ok with something, that has to be respected… whether you said otherwise before or not. I know you mostly want advice on the under the blanket part, but I wholeheartedly believe that the big issue is him not respecting what you say or feel. You CAN change your mind about things. Him saying “but you said you don’t care before” is coercive and manipulative. At any point during something sexual, you are allowed to revoke consent due to any reason at all. The fact that he doesn’t respect this is the biggest issue here. He doesn’t respect you, period.

No matter his reasoning for wanting you under the blanket during head, the fact that you don’t like it is all that matters. He has to respect your “no” even when you were previously willing to do something. Stand up for yourself and dump this guy who doesn’t respect you.

He’s definitely getting off to porn or someone’s nudes. and he doesn’t want you to know.

If you’re a couple, you guys should be ~making love~. Not this. I hate being crude here, babes, but it’s like he’s using your mouth to masturbate and he’s not getting off to YOU. He’s getting off to God knows what or who. That’s degrading as hell.

My rule is: if you’re not into it, don’t do it. You both should be getting something out of it. He’s basically using you to jerk him off. This is not sex. He’s into something or someone else. One day you’re going to look back at this relationship and wonder why you allowed the things you allowed. It’s not too late to set boundaries and respect yourself a little more.

he’s likely hiding you under the covers so he doesn’t have to have you look at him while he is watching porn or scrolling through NSFW reddit. you’re literally just a mouth/fleshlight while he gets off as if he was jerking off, but even lazier. this is insane. I bet he is even lying about the “cumming quick” thing, i’m sure he can’t cum at all without porn so staring at his phone while banging to ‘delay the orgasm’ is the excuse. leave him, something this severe will not improve, this is extremely wrong and bizarre behavior. ask to see his search history after or his phone while he’s doing it and I bet he won’t let you.

This guy kinda sucks. I'm just saying. With that skill level maybe find a guy who doesn't suck.

“I changed my mind, it’s a hard no for me now.” Period

do you really need Reddit to tell you that you need more self respect. Nobody is holding you bondage. You can leave whenever. Anyone is worth more than that.

I think you deserve someone who is 100% focused on creating intimacy during any time of intimacy

I’m also petty enough that I bet if you picked up your phone during sex he would have a problem with it.

That's absolutely crazy. I'd never ever be sexually attracted to someone who did this. I couldn't have sex with someone who insisted on this. I'd never be horny or want to go down on them. I like intimacy and this is not intimate. Youre more than just a hole to fuck while he's watching porn. Don't allow yourself to be treated this way ever.

It doesn't matter that you said it was ok before (you should have said something then but I get it) it matters that you're saying you have a problem with it now. You're always allowed to change your mind. Don't allow this to continue. If he can't have sex without being on his phone, don't have sex with him. I'd be very offended by this.

The times when go down on people and my head is covered- they usually uncover it because they want to see the action.

P.S. Gay men have kids all the time. The also get married to the opposite sex all the time. Beards exist and are a real thing that unfortunately happens. Not saying he's gay-just saying.

I'm sorry, what?

He plays games during sex? Not that watching porn would make it much better, but still.

Oh girl. Please leave him. You deserve so much better.

wtf that’s not normal

I hope you leave this man, there are men that will make you feel like the Queen you are.

wtf dump him

Girl what the actual fuck. Say goodbye!!

He's using you as a masturbation aid.

Nope nope nope... not okay. Probably watching porn. And tes, a normal guy wild LOVE to watch their girlfriend giving head

In my experience, this isn't normal. My husband always wants to see me. He would probably feel weird if I tried to be under the covers while doing that for him.

Personally I would tell him no and just ask him for the truth. What he's been saying sounds like an excuse or a way to explain away what he's actually feeling.

I hope you're able to get some answers from him. You definitely deserve someone who is attracted to you and wants to see you, not his behind their phone when you're supposed to be experiencing mutual intimacy.

Sex is subjective, different people like different things. That said, the answer to this question lies in how it makes you feel? If you don’t enjoy this, if it bothers you, then it’s not ok for you.

It is also not “common” for men to do this, it creates a barrier to intimacy and keeps you at arms length.

Intimacy should make you feel connected, cherished, and satisfied. If it doesn’t make you feel that way, rethink the relationship, especially since he’s not listening to you when you tell him you don’t like this.

Please have some self respect and break up with this guy

What does he do if you say no, you’re not getting under the covers? Do you ever balk at that?

DUMP HIM. NOW. THROW THE WHOLE MAN IN THE TRASH.

I'd make him go down on me and cover him up. Do your taxes and then when you're finished, whip off the covers and say "You just don't really do it for me anymore. Thanks for helping make my taxes slightly more enjoyable."

No one deserves this level of dehumanizing.

Men are not lonely enough.

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Performing oral sex on someone is a selfless act. He should appreciate the fact that you do this

Even in positions in which I could not look the lady straight in her eyes I was always fixated on her body, caressing her or just caressing her hair.

I know people have mentioned this and they are correct. You deserve better. You deserve a man not a boy.

This will probably be deleted since this is coming from a man, but trust me, a real man will appreciate you. Reciprocate for you.

You're definitely a keeper, now get back out there and find yourself a man you deserve and who deserve deserves you

This is NOT NORMAL. Sex is about the connection between you two. Please, leave him. This is so disrespectful, disheartening, and even abusive if he is coercing you into that.

What are you waiting for? When he asks you to put a mask of another woman on your head during sex?

Do not tolerate this. Get some courage and leave.

He needs to let you look at his phone. Please stop subjecting yourself to this mistreatment. I'm sure he would care if you were watching porn while he gave you head under the covers. He's a jerk.

It looks like he is watching porn while you're doing it and is hiding it or he doesn't find you attractive and watches porn to see more beautiful women while you do it. Sorry about being blunt just man logic

Leave That’s not right, you should be respected and that ain’t it

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