I think we have fundamentally different understandings of "lovedovey". you might be confusing it for intensity, for me it is rather the feelings that correspond to the understanding of the fact that this is the only person i d want to live my life with. With deep respect and regard to your professionalism, a marriage cannot exist without that. There is a lot of literature on what happens when the feeling is not present, especially fictional one (first that comes to mind is Anna Karenina, which is a controversial example for how her relationship with her lover ends, but still is an interesting reflection on what a marriage without love is). In fact, love has not been present for thousands of years for all marriages had been purely commercial, and most pieces of literature unsurprisingly mention escaping those relationships for some side quest. There is certainly a correlation between wanting to put in significant effort to save a shaky relationship, commitment, and still having feelings for your S.O. To answer you directly, your notion of marriage is rather archaic, and even though it appeals to cynical and overly practical realism in interpersonal relationships, it is ironically incredibly unrealistic for how often the "commitment" relationships without any shared common purpose fall apart, or become so unhappy that it would practically be better for them to fall apart.