Hahaha!
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  • 1 points AutoModerator

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  • 54 points paraworldblue

    "If you're interested, you're probably too old"

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    10 points EddieRay369

    Old enough to pee old enough for me

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    11 points BoomDonk

    Dude

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    10 points Whole_Highlight8693

    "If there's grass on the field, play ball!"-Epstein, probably

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    4 points _shesmydisease

    If not play in the mud! -PPOTUS, also, probably

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    -1 points Whole_Highlight8693

    "If I'm a-sniffin', I'm a- uhh, ummm, doing something."-Biden, most likely

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    1 points _shesmydisease

    Huh. Never heard that one before. Admittedly, I don't know many euphemisms for pedophillia, so I guess? Doesn't make as much sense as the ones others people posted, though. I guess yours needs work? You'll probably get 'em next time.

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    6 points thesamoansweetheart

    🤮🤮🤮

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    5 points whollybananas

    Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.

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    6 points Misophonic4000

    What the hell is wrong with you all

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    7 points EddieRay369

    We're doing impersonations of semi famous people. You know.

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    5 points Misophonic4000

    Right... My point is having a "look how many gross pedophile sayings I have memorized" contest is a weird flex

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    4 points JoshuaFalken1

    Welcome to the internet, friend.

    I won't speak for everyone, but I definitely use dark humor to cope with all the terrible shit in the world. Pedophilia is objectively horrible. 9/11 was a horrific day that's seared into my brain. I make jokes about these things not because these things are funny, but because the alternative is facing the reality that maybe humanity is just irredeemable.

    It reframes the horrible thing from something that is overwhelming and uncontrollable to something that I can come to terms on without being desired by it. It's gallows humor that targets the absurdity and chaos in a way that makes it manageable, but isn't targeting the victims.

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    2 points subcommanderdoug

    Demoralization tactic. The powers that be want you to believe that humanity is irredeemable so you stop fighting back and standing up for others, and they can keep on exploiting you, the indefensible, and the innocent.

    I get what you mean. I wrestle with this too and I respect and appreciate your dark sense of humor.

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    1 points JoshuaFalken1

    I still fight against the powers that be. It's human nature that I lack faith in.

    Let me tell you a story.

    I grew up in small town Nebraska. When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. While we were watching, he started into the distance and asked me a question. He said, son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?

    Now, as a 9 year old boy, I wasn't quite sure what he meant. Sensing this, he explained that I'd face a lot of demons in life and asked if I would defeat them, as well as all the nonbelievers and the plans that they had made. At this point, he teared up a bit. He went on to say that one day, he would leave me like a phantom, and would join the black parade.

    That day, I made a solemn vow. To carry on his memory. Defiant to the end.

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    -1 points Misophonic4000

    Yes, gallows humor is one thing, but just saying something vile without the humor part is... Not that. If what you post could be typed verbatim by a pedophile/racist/fascist/whatever and could be straight-up interpreted as such without any wit, it's not humor

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    3 points ZynBin

    The humor here comes from the context. These are insane sayings and posting them under the Epstein pic as if people are endorsing his philosophy is a form of sarcasm, while also a rebuke of the society that popularized such sayings so much at one point that we all know them

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    3 points JoshuaFalken1

    I bet you're fun at parties.

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    4 points EddieRay369

    Kinda makes you wonder why this person is even reading through this thread in the first place.

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    -2 points Misophonic4000

    Says the person who was talking about humor where there was none - clearly a big authority on fun!

    Look up examples of gallows humor. None of them would be "let's just say the gross thing that some pedos say without changing it to make it humorous". Just like you wouldn't randomly spout some horribly racist trope as-is, just for funsies...

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    0 points Harlander77

    The fact that so many are well known is more telling about society in general

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    2 points whollybananas

    30-40 years ago they weren't taboo or offensive and you could hear them regularly when "hanging out with the guys" I was a kid at the time and there are several more that were common.

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    0 points Misophonic4000

    Call me crazy but they probably wouldn't be so "well-known" if people didn't repeat them playing pretend pedophile?

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    3 points ZynBin

    I don't think that's what people are doing

    I think people are commenting on the societal phenomenon that is these types of people and part of that includes nods to the fact that it used to be so out in the open there were catchphrases most of us learned AS CHILDREN

    I think we know that was F-ed up

    Just like Epstein is

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    2 points PhantomFlorist

    They’re doing impressions

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    1 points Longjumping-Bat7774

    We went to public school in America...

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    0 points mikesb78

    There a lot wrong. Hilarious but wrong

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  • 39 points wickedjonny1

    Got that menendez brother vibe...

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  • 25 points Connect-Worth1926

    ew

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  • 19 points NyanKate420

    Egg shaped penis.

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    16 points Reubensandwich57

    He had an egg and Trump has a mushroom. They could make an omelette!

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    11 points RickRI401

    [Heads to the kitchen to throw out the eggs and mushrooms]

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    1 points Affectionate-Drag-93

    👨‍🍳🔪🌭

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    7 points EarthNeat9076

    I didn’t know that.

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    12 points NyanKate420

    Yea I bet you didn’t want to know that either! There’s a clip in “filthy rich” from Netflix where an attorney interrogated him about it and you can tell he is just furious.

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    6 points hainz_area1531

    Aááánd... here goes my breakfast. Thank you NyanKate.

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    4 points jayfu80

    Is an egg shaped penis bad? Asking for...well, genuine curiosity, I've never heard of one that shape.

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    1 points NyanKate420

    One survivor described it as lemon shaped. Is it bad? I’m not an expert but I don’t think it’s good. 

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    1 points WestElevator1343

    Sounds like literally, a dog. Once they mate they get locked, in kinda an ash to ash position. 🤢

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    1 points Educational_Trash691

    What a CAD(bury)!

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    1 points ramat-iklan

    Wasn't that ascribed to a certain convicted felon?

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  • 16 points KnotMadameDeFarge

    Great value John Travolta

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    7 points coleman57

    Missing the Stayin’ Alive part

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    2 points Internal_Essay9230

    😂👏👏👏

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    3 points williamgman

    Temu Travolta.

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    1 points No-Pick-93

    This is good. My thought was bootleg Travolta but giving it a shitty brand name takes the cake

    Edit: SP

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    1 points paraworldblue

    Gone Travolta

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  • 7 points Dizzy-Ease4193

    🥚

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    8 points Internal_Essay9230

    🥚🍆

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  • 6 points Skoofout

    Looks like Lou Reed, lol

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    12 points EarthNeat9076

    An insult to Lou Reed.

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    2 points Skoofout

    Sure

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    4 points DieMensch-Maschine

    I see Dennis Miller, the smug and unfunny one trick pony who used to do SNL fake news.

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    0 points Suckitreddit420

    Travolta

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  • 4 points WineDineCpl

    He was pure evil. But how does this particular type of article fit with aged like milk? It was talking about a specific month 45 years ago. I get the irony, but probably the wrong place to post.

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    1 points Technical-Gold-294

    Bachelor of the Month is supposed to be someone women want. So yeah, I think this is perfect for the sub.

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    1 points WineDineCpl

    At the time that may have been true. I doubt anything "of the month" is meant to stand up for 40 years. But if an "of the month" article is gospel to you for all time, you do you.

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  • 4 points colemorris1982

    When you order John Travolta from Wish

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  • 3 points FacePalmAdInfinitum

    I wonder if he still would’ve won if they knew he had a 2-inch lemon shaped joint?

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  • 3 points shadylady_beepboop

    Those eyes 😟

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  • 3 points EdwinQFoolhardy

    Okay, serious question for anyone who might know, how did Cosmo's Bachelor of the Month feature work? Was that something that men applied for? Was it a New York exclusive thing? Was it someone's job to keep an eye out for young social climbers who were bachelors?

    The reason I ask is that I keep seeing all these ways that Epstein had ridiculously good luck in his 20s. Good luck that's hard to believe didn't require outside assistance. So, I'd be very curious to hear how significant it is to be a 'Bachelor of the Month.'

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    3 points amazing_ape

    This was obviously rigged by him and his well connected friends in the publishing biz. Not luck, connections.

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  • 6 points wood_mountain

    Read the article associated with the picture. Rung by rung he climbed the ladder by lying and manipulating. No one tried to stop him. Operating on the edge of criminality. Sound familiar? No wonder whe he and 47 were such good friends. Greedy MF's.

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  • 2 points ZmanB-Bills

    Sad.

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  • 2 points TarquinusSuperbus000

    Mistakes were made

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  • 2 points KazranSardick

    Looks like the kid from Saturday Night Fever that "fell" off the bridge.

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    1 points EarthNeat9076

    I had to check the IMDB to see if there was resemblance between them. I then got the allusion to the “fall”. 

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  • 2 points NorthSalemObserver

    Looks like a creep

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  • 2 points WestElevator1343

    Totally looks like the crazy brother from Six Feet Under, Billy.

    Hey. Maybe he should play him in the movie.

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  • 2 points Technical-Gold-294

    Night before last I rewatched This Is Spinal Tap for the first time in decades. It hold up. Two things especially jumped out at me:

    1) Sabrina Carpenter's MBF cover closely aligns with the Smell the Glove cover Spinal Tap was not allowed to use.

    2) The lyrics to Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight were 100% Epstein:

    You're sweet, but you're just four feet And you still got your baby teeth You're too young and I'm too well hung Tonight i'm gonna rock you (tonight i'm gonna rock you) Tonight i'm gonna rock you (tonight i'm gonna rock you) Tonight

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  • 2 points JD_tubeguy

    Standards were low back then damn.

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    7 points EarthNeat9076

    I thought his looks were fine. The photo didn’t age well due to his behaviour. 

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  • 1 points mt6606

    Around the time the Holden Camira was named car of the year in Australia. Also, aged like yoghurt

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  • 1 points sometimeswhy

    I wonder why he didn’t flash his gummy smile

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  • 1 points MicDaPipelayer

    Quagmire

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  • 1 points TheAnti-Karen

    Shouldn't be have been on the cover of teen Vogue that's more his audience? /s

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  • 1 points MinimumNo6702

    More like Teen Beat

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  • 1 points SdSmith80

    Gross

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  • 1 points alinearis

    Looks like Big Bird to me

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  • 1 points amazing_ape

    So which pedo buddy of his was connected to Cosmo?

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  • 1 points B3t3N0ire

    Almost looks like a young Fred West and thats not a good thing

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  • 1 points Brief_Read_1067

    Helen Girlie Brown would think so. Cosmo did sometimes have some good articles, but in spite of that hag, not because of her. 

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  • 1 points Familiar-Crow8245

    Should have titled it PEDO--Sex-Trafficker Of The Century

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  • 1 points Familiar-Crow8245

    Should have titled it PEDO--Sex-Trafficker Of The Century

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  • 1 points RoguesAngel

    He looks like John Travolta to me.

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  • 1 points Odd-Kaleidoscope9430

    I thought that was Ben Stiller

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  • 1 points Sioux-me

    I guess that’s sexy for a 14 year old.

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  • 1 points Pristine_Ad4175

    GROSS.

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  • 1 points mickyfox0

    With wording like that. Anyone would think he was gay?

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  • 1 points tanaholloway

    🤢🤢🤮

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  • 1 points wariorld

    Hey, Mr. Kotter, up your nose wit a rubber hose!

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  • 1 points Wuz-it-u2

    I'm going for nahnah stay away from that beady eyed guy.

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  • 1 points EarthNeat9076

    Who in their right mind would date this bachelor after all we know about him?

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    13 points JD_tubeguy

    Well no one knew in 1980

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    5 points EarthNeat9076

    Perhaps the Dalton School students knew?

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    3 points JD_tubeguy

    Ewww I sure hope not but maybe.

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  • 0 points MoreEngineering539

    So many democrats were hanging out with him! Wild stuff

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    1 points redmav7300

    So many potential pedophiles were hanging out with him. Who cares what party they were? If they were Dems, lock em up!

    But it sure seems that MAGA has a blind spot with Trump.

    If you don’t want to be just another MAGAt a-hole, why don’t you reply with “if Trump is implicated in the Epstein files, lock him up!”

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