Earlier today I was at work and a coworker and I were talking about if either of us would ever have kids in the future. We’re both in our early twenties, and it was a relevant conversation.
Anyway, she starts laughing and goes (out of nowhere) “Yea! And your sperm donor is going to be male coworker who I’ve regularly compared to my little brother” like it was the funniest thing in the world.
Maybe I’m sensitive, but that was probably the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to me or asked me as a lesbian. Why did she say that?? Why are people so weird when it comes to lesbians??? Nobody would say anything like that to straight couples, even straight couple using sperm or egg donors. Wtf??
Anyway, what are y’all’s weirdest stories?? I’m dying to know!
When I came out to my mother she was SHOCKED than said ‘I knew that’, followed by ‘But why??? Girls are so dirty and filthy!’.
I was like excuse mee???? You’ve had two husbands and dated men you’re whole life and you think WOMEN ARE DIRTY? That’s when I realised my mother has internalised misogyny and that’s how she kind of made it in this world.
Too bad. But karmic for her to have a lesbian daughter - not a man in sight. As it should be.
How on earth does she think women are dirty??
My mother was also shocked when I came out because women are awful, apparently. She thought I’d always be lonely. 31 years later she talks about how selfish husbands are, how she took steps to financially protect herself when her friend’s husband began leaving them
HAH! What????
my gf and I frequently get asked if we're sisters, sometimes even twins
other than both being white girls with glasses, we don't really look alike
I’ve gotten that so often with my friends. Literally nobody asks if my sister is my sister, though, even though we have the same hair, eyes, bone structure, etc
This happens to me and my transmasc spouse which is even crazier because they’re Black and I’m white
I was out with a friend once and someone asked if we were sisters because we were both wearing glasses. We're not even the same race
One young man at a coffee drive through asked if my partner was my mom. It haunts my partner to this day. That kid needed glasses. We are not an age gap relationship even a little bit.
My next door neighbor asked my (ex) wife if I was her mom. I bitched him out so bad he never said hi again. We are 15 days apart.
Ya know, there can be a tendency for people to pick partners who have some resemblance to people who raised them but this is just as rampant with heterosexuals. I saw an article that was like, "Reece Witherspoon's daughter looks just like her!" and you look at the dad and go, "because the parents look like siblings." No shade to the Witherspoon's. Johnny Depp and Winona Rider dated, definitely look like siblings as well. But when one can grow a mustache and the other can't, people don't notice. Drives me nuts. Similar skin color + hair color relationships are common, but heterosexuals are much less likely to be asked if they're relatives unless it's a big age gap.
A waiter was flirting with me and definitely trying to ask me out when I was on a date with my WIFE, and he asked if she was my mother or just a friend. 💀💀💀
Anyways, I stopped dyeing my grey hair lmao
I get that too, but my gf and I legitimately do look alike. Both brunette femmes (Im taller, shes prettier).
Im not sure what it says about me that my partner looks like me.
My ex gf and i got asked this sll the time. Shes 5'1, with dark curly hair, strong nose, thin lips, big downturned brown doe eyes, meanwhile im 5'7, blond with straight hair, thick lips, upturned button nose and sharp grey eyes. Literally the only thing we share lookswise is we're both white
Yup. I have brown (though often dyed) thick curly hair, hazel eyes, warm skin tone, lots of freckles and moles, 5'6". I'm ethnically an ashkenazi jew. She has fine straight brown hair, cool skin tone, and is 5'9" maybe? I actually don't know her height, I kinda just perceive people to be either taller or shorter than me lol
she has a button nose, I have a larger but also upturned nose. we do both have pretty thick eyebrows, but besides eyebrows, hair color, and being white everything is different
We usually just answered "yes" and then proceeded to kiss right in front of the asker 😂
My ex and I got that constantly.
Mine is probably something that’s very common but it still makes me shake my head in disbelief, was talking to some dorm friends about a bad date I had and one of them asked me how I knew I was a lesbian, the og “how do you know if you’re a lesbian if you never dated men” then followed by questions like if “i’m attracted to gender or to character” and that I should just try men?? Specifically having sex because apparently after that you know if you’re into men or not:)) All these arguments and questions and for what ?
Anyways I stopped talking about my dates and such with some people and I only talk to few good friends about it 😭 It pisses me off that lesbians are always asked questions like these especially the whole “sleeping with men” part…
one time a guy asked me "why?" and I replied "why do you like women?" and he was like "huh fair enough" 😆
You should have said, “because of conversations like this 🤦🏼♀️.”
I hate that…and they never ask those questions of straight people or gay men. Just us lesbians
Right !! Lesbians are always policed on their experiences…
People expect women to be "fluid" in their sexuality. Nope, I like girls. Zero fluidity here.
If it's a man it's fun to uno reverse on them and ask how they know they wouldn't love being with a man if they haven't tried it. I'm not the one with what is basically a g-spot accessible only via my butthole. Just saying.
With women I am more likely to mention the stats for how many men don't wash their hands and refuse to wash their buttholes. If they aren't squeamish, how yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis are often correlated with male partners having poo germs on their genitals. Miss me with that. 🤢 I feel like I dodged a bullet there. Once again, if appropriate, I also mention stats on how lesbians have a much higher rate of orgasms. Why would I choose the worse value for my time 😂 especially with the murder stats for pregnant women being so high and how often the male partner is the perpetrator 😬 but bringing that up feels unsporting, lol. If they ask dumb sex questions, I keep the answers to the sex ones, generally.
My own mother told me to "just try boys" when I came out to her!
That's when you hit em with the "How do you know you're straight if you never dated men?" (Assuming this was said by a man cause it usually is lol)
I had my kids (with my ex-husband) before my wife and I got (back) together - but I’ve lost count of the turkey baster gags.
When people (usually men) discover I’m in a lesbian marriage, there’s inevitably impertinent questions about sex. They think this is hilarious.
The one I get most often is “which one of you is the man in the relationship?”
I adore whoever came up with the response, "which one of the chopsticks is the fork?"
I was able to use it at work the other day and it really disarmed the guy, which was a pleasant surprise. I said it almost like a random movie quote, as an in joke to myself, so when it actually made the conversation less stupid I was impressed.
Saving it
🤢🤢
I hate this one.. "which one is the man?" It is so ignorant... 😖
Like there is no man that's the whole point dingus.
i hope you don't answer directly and respond with "which one is the man in your relationship?"
This is amazing. Omg, love it.
The most annoying thing. Like, neither of us! That's the entire point!
The point is - men are irrelevant... Too hard to grasp?
Just reply saying you both are or neither of you. Then when they ask what that means give them no explanation, laugh hysterically at them, and tell them to think it over. That will really embarrass and confuse them. Or you can always shut it down like, “why are you asking about my sex life creep?” while you look disinterested and text in your phone. 🙃
unwritten support fine sugar sulky sophisticated grey square abounding unique
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That’s actually kind of funny, lol. For me and my fiancée it depends on what kind of noise it is, or really what kind of critter is making said noise.
This is a relatively respectable question, lol. I accept questions like, "which one deals with spiders" "which one drives" etc.
retire quaint exultant skirt relieved piquant screw pie memorize apparatus
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...honestly that's one of the most respectful questions in this entire thread. Almost seems genuinely worried about your collective safety. Humorous too.
“You’re a lesbian? But you’re so pretty.”
I just looked at her for a minute and let that one hang in the air.
...Is she confused over the existence of femme lesbians, maybe? I'm trying to wrap my head around what she could have meant by that question but it's not working
What only pretty girls can date men???? What a weird thing to say
this has happened to me on multiple occasions 😭 it’s always more shocking coming from girls but still stupid
We get a lot of weird assumptions. My partner is trans fem, I'm more masc, so depending on how we are dressed, sometimes we look like a weird straight(ish) couple.
People don't seem to understand that I'm the top.
People seem to only think in straight terms. Lesbians break their brains for some reason
Yeah we have an additional gender thing on top of that, and that doesn't always compute for them either.
Lesbians break my brain too but with hotness 😆
Usually the complaint is that masc women are always assumed to be the top and here the straights are assuming you're the bottom bc your partner is trans? Idk somehow that feels even worse 😭
Yeah, straight people are playing 4D chess with sexist assumptions
The amount of dumb shit you get - even from fellow lesbians - for being trans is insane. I was once asked if having sex with me is “having sex with two people” and don’t get me started on being asked “why” I had bottom surgery “even though you’re attracted to women” as if penis=only way to have pleasure.
Yeah because getting bottom surgery is 100% about pleasuring your partner and definitely not at all about feeling comfortable in your own body... /s
i always respond with “i like being able to shower without getting suicidal”
Lol having sex with two people… that’s some crazy mental gymnastics.
God, I remember coming out and a straight cis friend saying "I imagine cis lesbians must go crazy for trans women, cuz who wouldn't prefer dick if its attached to a woman?" and... I just don't even know where to start
Uhhhhhhhhh what lol
"If you like dildos then you should like dicks too. Why don't you like dicks?? You'll never know if you've never tried."
my response would be "I'm guessing from your response that you think dicks are pretty special... maybe you should try them"
I like to respond with: "I like eating gummy worms, doesn't mean I'll go outside and chomp on some real worms."
If the dildo came attached to a man do they think lesbians would like them still lmao
I love dicks, just not when they are attached to men.
"Who says I don't like dicks? My girlfriend's cock is HUGE!"
Respond with: “they’re too small” 😁🙃😂
"Dildos never get soft or have STDs. It can be any size I like. Why would I choose the inferior product? Sounds like bio-dick is like the Russian roulette of cumming, why would I choose that over a sure thing?"
Variety is the spice of life lolol
Yes because it literally comes down to geometry
Someone who was in pre-med...asked me because I'm lesbian...was it possible to turn off my period at will.
Lmao. My sarcastic ass said "I wish!" Girl was planning on becoming a doctor and couldn't fathom why that was a dumb question.
Also...PCOS/endometriosis. I wish I could turn off my damn uterus.
Um
What? 😆
Because periods depend on being attracted to men? The menstrual fluid flows toward male-ness?
I can’t
when i came out to my grandma:
"i dont want to picture you eating pussy"
uh, do you picture my sister sucking dick and sigh with relief?
I really hope you said that to your grandma. If you said this to your grandma, you honestly deserve an award!
Fucking ew
😂😂 oh my god
I’m trans, so it’s probably my mother, who is extremely straight, telling me that no, I can’t be a lesbian because I’m not cis. As if she’s the arbiter of anything about lesbianism.
There’s also the dudes out there who try and put me down and go “oh, so you couldn’t get laid as a guy, so now you gotta pretend to be a woman”
Good lord 🤦🏻♀️
This is why I don’t even hang around cishet people anymore.
Usually it’s gay dudes on grindr deliberately ignoring the big T4T I put as my display name and the half of my profile clarifying that I want absolutely nothing to do with men messaging me and harassing me in that way.
Straight people have been generally less awful to me about me being a lesbian, and most of the time I just get a bit of them being perplexed while trying not to offend and just saying something dumb out of ignorance.
You couldn’t get laid as a guy???? That… what? lol
Some real mental gymnastics to figure out that one
They try to paint my transition as a long-game ploy to try and get pussy because I was such a failure of a man that i couldn’t. Never mind the fact that I was married for a decade and did pretty decently after ditching monogamy. No, clearly I’m just trying to make up for being a failed man who couldn’t get straight women to sleep with me by trying to trick lesbians into sleeping with me instead. 🙄
I'm transfem so the one I probably get the most when I tell people I'm a lesbian is "Isn't that just straight with extra steps?" 😑
So sorry about that girl
Male coworker asked me if my best friend (who works with us, and is a body builder) ever makes me “question my sexuality” 😐 nope, he does not. Plus he’s dating my friend. Gross. Plot twist is that the coworker said my friend makes him question HIS sexuality, lol.
Definitely had more than one straight presenting male coworker divulge their bisexual thoughts/feelings/acts before. Good for you man.
Had a very short lived trainee that was also a pastor, and it seemed like he actually understood homosexuality after he asked me if I ever was actually attracted to dudes and I was like, "well I've thought some are cool, I guess..." He clarified, "not cool, HOT" and I think my face drove home the absolute NOPE in my soul. I was just humoring the guy but I think his reality changed lol.
That’s…something. lol. It’s crazy. People learn you’re gay and then suddenly it’s free game for them to tell YOU all their secret desires and fantasies. Like just cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want to talk about sex 24/7, goddamn lol.
I was confused cuz at first I was imagining a hot, she-hulk style woman
Oh HE does not, ok got it 😆
A complete stranger at a wedding after party stopped me after I said I was bringing my wife a drink to ask me “how do lesbians have sex without a penis? I just don’t get it.” I stopped and gave him what felt like an entire drunken ted talk.
"It's like how you guys have sex, except in our relationship we both get to cum."
😹😹I'm dying
Hahhhahhahhahahahhahahhahha oh man
Somehow people always get weirdly personal or gross, I've had similar conversations in the past. I don't want kids and now everyone knows that but a few years ago I had a lot of people get weirdly specific about all the ways lesbians can be parents, like it's 8 in the morning, why are you talking about sperm right now Barbara?
Also, some guy once slit into my dms telling me we could still go out because he "thinks like a woman" (whatever that means) and that's basically the same as being a lesbian. Just to be clear, that was a cis straight man.
If he's doing that I can very much assure him he most certainly thinks like a man.
Um, this man keeps asking about having sex with women and he thinks he has a chance with me and I’ve told him I don’t even like men in most cases but he’s still pushing 😭
Lol you could be evil and ask him when he’s going to give men a chance and if your gay friend (doesn’t have to be a real person wink wink) has a chance with him.
He’s bisexual so it wouldn’t work 😭. unless he’s lying 🤨 I’ll try it :)
My mother snooped on my gf's mother's fb page to "find reasons why I spend more time with my gf's fam than my own". After she spotted me in a dress, she immediately outs me to both sides of my family while also telling me the classic "how could you do this to ME?!", "You're lying, I would have known!", etc.
A week or so passes before she has the realization that me now being a woman makes me gay, and she asks, "wait, if you're a woman, does that mean your gf's a trans man?!" I reply, "no, we're both women, it makes us gay, I'm a lesbian." She screams, "JUST KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD CHOOSE THIS OVER ME, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS(we're not)!!" etc, etc
Your mom: Me me me me me!
I had a woman that knew I was lesbian ask me about scissoring. I told her that scissoring is not that much fun but, tribbing is amazing. She asked what that was. I told her I couldn't describe it, I would have to show her. She shut up really quick.
She turned down the offer? 😲
Straight women are so weird...
(...And now I want to know what tribbing is but it seems naive or rude to ask now)
I garuntee my dick will cure you. Suprisingly 8ts been more than once
Sadly that is not surprising
"who's the man in your relationship"
"I dunno, whose the man in YOUR relationship?"
"the wife, of course"
It's fucking dreadful, just leave my gay ass alone god damn it
i was literally just talking to a straight male friend of mine yesterday about how difficult it is being a lesbian sometimes due to how awful society treats us and he responded with, "i don't even know why you like women! i feel like you'd be too difficult for them. it'd be easier for you to just be with a man." like what?? he also went on a long rant about how "70% of lesbian marriages fail" and i would have better odds marrying a man.. whom i will never be attracted to... needless to say he is not a friend anymore.
Oh he had a crush on you and was probably mad he didnt have a chance.
I commonly get people not believing I’m a lesbian because I’m “too feminine”, like not all lesbians look the same? And not all masculine women are lesbian? 😭
Another one I get a lot is people asking if I had a bad experience with a man before and that turned me lesbian. They get shocked when I tell them actually no, my first ever relationship with a guy was when I was 17 with a guy a year older than me and he was the sweetest most compassionate guy I ever met that I’m still very close friends with today and was a big support when I came out, and if I was into men I’d still be with him now. I’m lesbian because that’s how I’ve always been 😂
In the out of nowhere and ridiculously inappropriate category, I've been asked by a 14 yo boy what kind of porn turns me on, in front of the whole class. He was asking seriously, like it was a totally normal question to ask a stanger in public.
I've been asked plenty of times questions like "how do you know you like women, not men" or "who's the man in the couple" and "how do two women have sex together ". But it doesn't surprise me anymore. That first question, especially in this setting, really caught me off guard though.
It didnt really upset me, if anything it was kind of funny. But it was pretty weird.
My girlfriend and I were at a bar. We are both pretty femme so a dude came up to us and starting hitting on my gf. It wasnt wanted obviously but he was relatively friendly about it so it didnt particularly upset either us (and we are used to it). The strange part was the ending. The interaction was something like this:
Me: Sorry mate we're lesbians.
Him: Oh OK so those must be the shoes then?
points at our shoes
Me: What?
Him: Lesbians have to wear special shoes right? To signal that they're lesbians to the other lesbians? Now I know the signal too.
I think he was about to make a joke of some kind, but his friend dragged him off before he could finish it. Again not particularly upsetting, just strange. My girlfriend was in heels, I was in flats.
Like some other people, “which one is the man in the relationship” is the weirdest. I know a woman who used to point out so many relationships by saying “they are one of those lesbian couples where one is a woman and the other is a man” and I’d try to point out how that was a really damaging misconception.
The weirdest thing about this interaction is that the woman was my partner. And finally i pointed out how I’m high femme in full face and skirts while she is always in an old t-shirt and faded jeans without makeup. I said “I love that we are one of those lesbian couples you always talk about where one is a woman and the other is a man.” She got super mad at me but then admitted that was wrong.
She has never said anything like that again. But i know she still has a lot of homophobia.
My wife mentioned me to one of her work clients and he very awkwardly asked
“Your wife…. Is she….. like you….?”
And we’re still not really sure what he meant. 😂 Butch? Not particularly. Creative? Yeah… Lesbian? A woman? Well geez I hope I still am.
This is more funny to me than annoying or problematic, but my very straight roommate/best friend just does not get the concept of scissoring and tribbing, it’s actually hilarious. She’s super supportive and wants all the details of my love life (we both tell each other everything), so sometimes I’ll be describing a sexual experience I’ve had and I have to re-explain the physics of it a million times (sometimes with literal diagrams) and she still doesn’t really understand lol!
An ex-friend (male) of mine asked if I own a strap-on, and then proceeded to tell me he would buy me one for my birthday. Fucking weirdo.
It isn't that unusual, in that it happens not infrequently, but it always blows my mind when someone asks, "which one of you is the man in the relationship."
Dude. There is no man. 😌
A coworker asked me if my (deceased) brother was alive, would I have used him as a sperm donor. I then had to explain to her why I wouldn’t.
WHAT
Wait, like for some posthumous incest?? Or did she mean use his seed for a partner?
Incest. 🤢
😬
Weird and if we hadn't known each other as friends for so long definitely would have been creepy, but as is we gave him shit for months:
Friend: "yeah but what do you think is the best dick to put between their legs like, what they'd like the most? I've read a few things and I don't think soda can girth growing on a dude is practical, what do you think [beanbagsize]?"
Me laughing: "dude I literally can't answer that, I'm a lesbian remember? I have no idea what kind of man dick straight women like"
Friend: "Wait, does that mean you have a dick?"
Friend: "what? What are you all looking at me for, what'd I say?"
Apparently the prerequisite for liking women in his head at that moment was having a penis and forget everything about attraction and sexual orientation.
My wife who is 6 years older than me gets mistaken for being my mom. :(
Mine was about pregnancy and sperm sonars too
But it was a rando guy at work I just met like “but what if the sonar wants to be part of their life. Children need a male figure”
And I repeatedly said we wouldn’t choose a donar who wanted to be involved and they would have plenty of uncles and cousins as males in their life.
He was adamant but WHAT IF?!
Guy couldn’t comprehend
"how do you know you like women if you never had sex with one?"
"How does it sound for you to suck a dick to see if you're not gay? I've tried dicks. I know how I feel about them. Now it's your turn"
Usually works with straight men
Not to me or about me but when my ex-friend found out my ex-gf is a Lesbian before we dated he started to magically have a crush on her and was very talkative about it and knowing him it was giving corrective rape vibes.(She's a Ace Lesbian so that kinda makes it worse).
To me however it was way more mild.I came out to someone in my economics class because he was asking about my love life for some damn reason and he said it was hot or something like that I can't remember exactly it was 5 years ago in high-school.
This is probably more lighthearted than most of what’s gonna be in this comments section, but I have a bunch of online friends who are all straight guys, I’m the only woman who is consistently active in the group. Every time the topic of not talking to women comes up (whether it’s one of them gently teasing another or whether it’s one of them lamenting their anxiety around women) I’m just like. Guys!!!! I’m a woman and you all talk to me daily!!!! Like yeah I’m gay but it still counts!!!
i’ve been told i’m straight like excuse me what
Someone asked me once how lesbians orgasm as there’s no penis involved..
Uh…much more frequently that straight women do actually!
My wife introduced me as her wife at a work event and after the co-worker promptly said we look alike and have the same smile…
“wait so does that mean when ur body realises ur a lesbian youll stop havibg periods?” EXCUSE ME WHAT
Huh?!??
If only this could be real tho 😭
I honestly hate when people ask when people ask who the “man” in the relationship is
Neither of us. Especially not me. I actually cried when I was asked that last
Ugghhh that’s so gross! The point is there is no man!
THANK YOU!
I think people typically shoot at my transness instead of my gayness but I did have one person tell me that it was "creepy and sad" to be a trans girl and still be into woman.
Welp. Sounds like she doesn’t know the pure lesbian joy that comes from loving women 💛 she’s missing out
I’ll just say that normies are weird. My very nice 60-year-old coworker spent all of lunch yesterday poorly describing Tik-Tok memes she saw recently that had tickled her. She had her phone on her. She could have shown me those memes, possibly, but she likely doesn’t know how to save them. It had this air of “this is a revolutionary new experience I want to share with you”. Endearing, but weird.
Normies are bad at communicating. Especially when they feel like a delicate subject has come up.
Well this blew up 😆. My wife handles all of this so much better than me. She’s taller than me. More imposing and intimidates men better than me. And she’s quick-witted - they get short shrift. It doesn’t happen often, but I’m always glad she’s around when it does. (If you can’t tell, she’s my hero).
Un poco de contexto, soy una mujer con discapacidad visual total, no veo nada de nada. Al saber que me gustaban las chicas, además de hacerme el comentario mononeuronal de “que desperdicio” este mismo sujeto me preguntó qué haría si un tipo se hace pasar por chica y me mete su pito haciéndolo pasar por un dildo?
Y yo ahí pensando a ver, si no puedes diferenciar entre un pene y un dildo sin ver, definitivamente tienes problemas…
i had a girl in my math class (high school) swear up and down that i have AIDS because i’ve kissed girls before… i tried to explain that’s not how its works until i realized she was just stupid LMAO
That’s wild!! Sheesh!!
I was in high school in the 2000's, and not just the kids but the teachers and whole culture was very queerphobic. I got told - frequently by many different people - "but if everyone were a lesbian then the world population would DIE OUT!". As if that were some kind of argument to turn me, the one messy-haired kid responsible for humanity's continued existence, straight?!
I love this argument because it's just so... does humanity depend on me fucking with a dude? There's other ways to get pregnant and there's straight women who don't have kids. Where's the difference?
Well my ex-boss (female) and my co-worker(female) they know im lesbian and just broke up with my 7 years gf, they ask me what if im corny and need hex? im surprise they ask me about that so i just tell them if women different than man not everything always about hex duh 🙄
I think your autocorrect has messed up this comment lol
I think it is TikTok speech
Corny and need hex 🤣