I didn't realize for the longest time that people were using it as a noun meaning "the gender that is nonbinary" instead of an adjective for "neither of the binary genders". It caused a lot of confusion reading nonbinary subs for a bit, until someone explained something in a way that made it clear they thought it was a noun, and that blew my mind, lol
Yeah... I usually just round it down to the nearest gender a cishet person would understand
Which is usually transfem (feels bad because I'm definitely not fully fem), or non binary when that's the way my girlflux points (but then that feels bad because it dismissed the girl part of me)
And don't get me started on my asexuality lmao. I usually just say I'm ace but in reality I'm myrsexual, which is multiple ace labels at once, in my case aceflux, demisexual, and aegosexual. That's (in one explanation) 3 microlabels and a commonly devalidated label(demi) lmao 😭
I do that too! And yeah it doesn't feel great. I'm a trans nonbinary demigirl and even the people who know forget often and are surprised when it comes up in conversation that they do have a nonbinary friend.
Looks up myresexual huh... Um... Gonna need to go have a think about that one. Been a minute since that last happened 😆
Thank you for introducing us to a potential new label(s). Had no idea that existed but that might fit actually. Currently we identify as demisexual and though that might change soon we can sympathize at least a bit right now.
Add on for us that we have D.I.D and we have different genders nevermind anything else... It's a bit of a headache if we wanna talk to most people about it.
Figured it was a plurality situation when you started using "we", but still appreciated that you clarified! And I'm glad I introduced y'all to something that could help describe the ace aspect then, it was a long search for me so I'm always glad to help others (I also thought I was just demi initially, coincidentally lol)
My girlflux usually fluctuates around demigirl (in like a gauss wave kinda way), I really like that label cuz it fits me really well 68%(if I commit to the Gauss curve thing) of the time and never feels wrong
Plurality? Us? Nah we're just 12 personalities in a trenchcoat, nothing to see here! 🤭🙈
Yeah we thought our long search was... Well mostly over. Really our host thought she was finished but no we exist. It's probably just gonna be easier for a bit to refer to the system in general as myresexual as we figure out how many of us besides our host are even interested in sex. 😅
Also girlflux is now resonating with one of us, after reading that, who's been struggling with her gender for... Like a year and a half now. So thanks again? This has been a very productive interaction for self reflection. 🥰
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Interestingly I've heard more talk about the opposite problem: people falsely assuming it's always somewhere on the line betwene male and female if not fully in the middle and not that it could be things that are neither, contain things that are neither but maybe not exclusively, be no gender at all, be fluid, be simultaniously and fully multiple genders and not just one gender that is a mix, etc. etc.
Ohh right, thanks for reminding me! By no means I meant to say that doesn't exist, the quotation marks are purely because it's the way many people wrongly see the broad label non binary
I‘m genuinely curious and this isn’t meant as an insult in any way, but I‘m kinda confused about what ’non-binary lesbian’ means? I thought lesbian meant a female identifying person attracted to other female identifying persons, so I don’t quite understand how a non-binary person could be a lesbian? I‘m sorry if this is a stupid question😅
You can be female identifying and nonbinary, nonbinary doesn't just mean "isnt male or female", but even aside from that, anyone who feels their attraction to women is queer can be a lesbian
I'm an MTF* non-binary butch lesbian, so not entirely the same thing, but this is absolutely relatable. Estrogen has done a little bit to help, but I still get read as a guy most of the time due to how I choose to present very masculine. And I'm planning to cut my hair fully short later this month lol
*there really isn't any term to describe the way i've transitioned that fits me due to being neither fem nor female, but i still use the term "MTF" occasionally just for simplicity
I'm on T because I'm nonbinary and both a man and a woman but i'm generally a bit more on the masc side, so I wanted a deeper voice, facial hair, and just the general effects of it, I want to look fairly androgynous so I balance those traits out with long hair, nails, jewelry, etc.
Oh thats so dope. I feel like you just described me in the strangest way. holy shit. ive always wanted to get rid of my breasts but not to be a man. but i too am nonbinary. thanks for taking time to answer this because it has unlocked shit in me!
No prob, someone once told me abt this idea that theres different types of androgyny, theres "neutral androgyny" where you have gender neutral traits that either gender could have, such as a flat chest, unisex clothing, etc. Or theres "mixed-trait androgyny" i think they called it, where you have a mix of gendered traits, such as a beard, deep voice, mens clothing, and then feminine hair, feminine accessories and jewelry, makeup, etc. just as one example. That concept lowkey rewired my brain and my transition goals.
I want to be visibly trans but not have people be sure of which way I'm transitioning tbh. I did get top surgery though because I had j-cups and hated them, though boobs+beard is an awesome look imo, I just personally Did Not Vibe with having breasts.
Yeah reading this honestly makes me feel how you described rewiring your brain. For me it’s affirming. I’ve wanted to have top surgery for a long time but can’t afford. I’ve never been comfortable with my breasts. I am fem-ish but dress more masc and andro-avantgarde. This is so cool to read. And i know exactly what you mean about not wanting people to know. People call me a man sometimes and i dont correct them. I really dont care what people call me. I kind of want to microdose t now that i have researched it. I just dont want a trans voice change
Damn that idea of mixed-trait androgyny is exactly how I approached expression when I was identifying more as non-binary than transfemme. I always found a lot of the more neutral androgyny I saw kind of boring and I would tell people how I preferred strongly contrasting elements. Glad to hear someone else describe it!
I'm all for men staying out of lesbian spaces, but being on T doesn't automatically make you a man, otherwise pcos would be bad news for a lot of women
Exactly like my partner. My partner also identifies as a man and a (masc) woman both. And also identifies as lesbian and uses the label straight as well. Don't let the downvotes get you down. There are people like you out there. You're valid.
Thank you, I seem to get downvoted a lot whenever I mention my gender identity, but I just figure those people are uptight squares who aren't worth my time.
Same. Whenever I make a comment talking about my partner's gender identity, I get downvotes as well. It's weird. Glad you're not letting it get to you.
As a fellow trans girl; just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you can say someone else’s labels aren’t correct. Just like I’m sure plenty of people would say being a trans woman doesn’t count as being a lesbian. Fuck off with your internalized transphobia, keep it to yourself.
Nonbinary transbian... It's rough sometimes
Real
Especially since people seem to think that non binary is just a "third gender" instead of just literally anything outside the binary
Right 😩
I didn't realize for the longest time that people were using it as a noun meaning "the gender that is nonbinary" instead of an adjective for "neither of the binary genders". It caused a lot of confusion reading nonbinary subs for a bit, until someone explained something in a way that made it clear they thought it was a noun, and that blew my mind, lol
Exactly!
And gods help you if it's any more complicated than that. You can watch people disconnect from the conversation as you bring it up.
Yeah... I usually just round it down to the nearest gender a cishet person would understand
Which is usually transfem (feels bad because I'm definitely not fully fem), or non binary when that's the way my girlflux points (but then that feels bad because it dismissed the girl part of me)
And don't get me started on my asexuality lmao. I usually just say I'm ace but in reality I'm myrsexual, which is multiple ace labels at once, in my case aceflux, demisexual, and aegosexual. That's (in one explanation) 3 microlabels and a commonly devalidated label(demi) lmao 😭
I do that too! And yeah it doesn't feel great. I'm a trans nonbinary demigirl and even the people who know forget often and are surprised when it comes up in conversation that they do have a nonbinary friend.
Looks up myresexual huh... Um... Gonna need to go have a think about that one. Been a minute since that last happened 😆
Thank you for introducing us to a potential new label(s). Had no idea that existed but that might fit actually. Currently we identify as demisexual and though that might change soon we can sympathize at least a bit right now.
Add on for us that we have D.I.D and we have different genders nevermind anything else... It's a bit of a headache if we wanna talk to most people about it.
Figured it was a plurality situation when you started using "we", but still appreciated that you clarified! And I'm glad I introduced y'all to something that could help describe the ace aspect then, it was a long search for me so I'm always glad to help others (I also thought I was just demi initially, coincidentally lol)
My girlflux usually fluctuates around demigirl (in like a gauss wave kinda way), I really like that label cuz it fits me really well 68%(if I commit to the Gauss curve thing) of the time and never feels wrong
Plurality? Us? Nah we're just 12 personalities in a trenchcoat, nothing to see here! 🤭🙈
Yeah we thought our long search was... Well mostly over. Really our host thought she was finished but no we exist. It's probably just gonna be easier for a bit to refer to the system in general as myresexual as we figure out how many of us besides our host are even interested in sex. 😅
Also girlflux is now resonating with one of us, after reading that, who's been struggling with her gender for... Like a year and a half now. So thanks again? This has been a very productive interaction for self reflection. 🥰
Oh that's awesome! Glad to be of help once again!
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Interestingly I've heard more talk about the opposite problem: people falsely assuming it's always somewhere on the line betwene male and female if not fully in the middle and not that it could be things that are neither, contain things that are neither but maybe not exclusively, be no gender at all, be fluid, be simultaniously and fully multiple genders and not just one gender that is a mix, etc. etc.
Just wanted to say Third Gender is an indigenous gender identity in India and South Asian spaces, similar to Two-spirit among Native Americans.
Ohh right, thanks for reminding me! By no means I meant to say that doesn't exist, the quotation marks are purely because it's the way many people wrongly see the broad label non binary
Stay strong, soldier
truuuuuueeeeee
I’m a nonpassing transbian. I just feel weird approaching anyone, even if it’s for not-romantic reasons.
Reaaal
I'm a butch transfem lesbian, yeah it's fucking rough out here sometimes, worth it though
yeah i consider myself to be a masc transfem lol
masc women are pretty hot though ngl 🙂↕️
This is also how it feels to be a fat butch like me LMAOOOOO
I‘m genuinely curious and this isn’t meant as an insult in any way, but I‘m kinda confused about what ’non-binary lesbian’ means? I thought lesbian meant a female identifying person attracted to other female identifying persons, so I don’t quite understand how a non-binary person could be a lesbian? I‘m sorry if this is a stupid question😅
You can be female identifying and nonbinary, nonbinary doesn't just mean "isnt male or female", but even aside from that, anyone who feels their attraction to women is queer can be a lesbian
LMAO for real
I'm an MTF* non-binary butch lesbian, so not entirely the same thing, but this is absolutely relatable. Estrogen has done a little bit to help, but I still get read as a guy most of the time due to how I choose to present very masculine. And I'm planning to cut my hair fully short later this month lol
*there really isn't any term to describe the way i've transitioned that fits me due to being neither fem nor female, but i still use the term "MTF" occasionally just for simplicity
REAL
That's for the rep! Sexuality and gender are so fluid
I feel this in my soul, at least my wife knows
Same
I look like a scruffy little guy (definitely need this shirt now)
real
Kinda how I feel too, but I'm on E
May i ask what the T does for you if you’re non binary? I am asking only for knowledge and understanding soccer is new to me
I'm on T because I'm nonbinary and both a man and a woman but i'm generally a bit more on the masc side, so I wanted a deeper voice, facial hair, and just the general effects of it, I want to look fairly androgynous so I balance those traits out with long hair, nails, jewelry, etc.
I aim to look very genderqueer.
Oh thats so dope. I feel like you just described me in the strangest way. holy shit. ive always wanted to get rid of my breasts but not to be a man. but i too am nonbinary. thanks for taking time to answer this because it has unlocked shit in me!
No prob, someone once told me abt this idea that theres different types of androgyny, theres "neutral androgyny" where you have gender neutral traits that either gender could have, such as a flat chest, unisex clothing, etc. Or theres "mixed-trait androgyny" i think they called it, where you have a mix of gendered traits, such as a beard, deep voice, mens clothing, and then feminine hair, feminine accessories and jewelry, makeup, etc. just as one example. That concept lowkey rewired my brain and my transition goals.
I want to be visibly trans but not have people be sure of which way I'm transitioning tbh. I did get top surgery though because I had j-cups and hated them, though boobs+beard is an awesome look imo, I just personally Did Not Vibe with having breasts.
Yeah reading this honestly makes me feel how you described rewiring your brain. For me it’s affirming. I’ve wanted to have top surgery for a long time but can’t afford. I’ve never been comfortable with my breasts. I am fem-ish but dress more masc and andro-avantgarde. This is so cool to read. And i know exactly what you mean about not wanting people to know. People call me a man sometimes and i dont correct them. I really dont care what people call me. I kind of want to microdose t now that i have researched it. I just dont want a trans voice change
Damn that idea of mixed-trait androgyny is exactly how I approached expression when I was identifying more as non-binary than transfemme. I always found a lot of the more neutral androgyny I saw kind of boring and I would tell people how I preferred strongly contrasting elements. Glad to hear someone else describe it!
How I feel being a trans lesbian in the trades
Non-binary lesbian on T is literally my partner.
Hi
How I feel IRL as pre-hrt trans woman
I feel that too, though it’s more that I don’t really pass as a woman. It’s so fun (/s).
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I'm all for men staying out of lesbian spaces, but being on T doesn't automatically make you a man, otherwise pcos would be bad news for a lot of women
I actually am a man, I'm just also a woman, I'm both, so I'm literally a woman that loves women, and me being a man doesn't cancel that out.
Do you ever label yourself as straight
I consider myself both straight and lesbian
Like Jesus?
Yeah sure
Exactly like my partner. My partner also identifies as a man and a (masc) woman both. And also identifies as lesbian and uses the label straight as well. Don't let the downvotes get you down. There are people like you out there. You're valid.
Thank you, I seem to get downvoted a lot whenever I mention my gender identity, but I just figure those people are uptight squares who aren't worth my time.
Same. Whenever I make a comment talking about my partner's gender identity, I get downvotes as well. It's weird. Glad you're not letting it get to you.
Not the biological male bs again (although I will say throwing it as someone other than a trans woman is new to me)
Checked her profile before she deleted the comment and she’s a 4tranner. Makes sense lol
Plenty an enbies get low level doses of T.
Enbies can be lesbians.
This is an ignorant comment.
Genuinely asking: Why the label lesbian and not the label queer
For me its because I still partially identify as a woman, so I still am literally a woman that loves women
Ohh kk thanks
Lesbians are women and enbies who are attracted exclusively to women and/or enbies.
If someone fits that, they have every right to call themselves a lesbian, if they so choose.
There's a lot of gender fuckery in the lesbian community. Enbies always have and always will be a part of the community.
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Nobody can invalidate their own gender, let people use whatever labels feel right to them
labels are not discrete boxes to put other people into and then police, please don't do that
I love the implication that trans women aren't women until they start E.
Fuck off terf.
Usually transphobes believe you cant change your biological sex 🤔
As a fellow trans girl; just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you can say someone else’s labels aren’t correct. Just like I’m sure plenty of people would say being a trans woman doesn’t count as being a lesbian. Fuck off with your internalized transphobia, keep it to yourself.