I was told that before the cartoon, a smurf was a person who farted in the bathtub and caught the bubbles with their mouth before they reached the surface.
Someone i know. As a kid farted in an upsidedown cup. Held the cup in place and let the water drain. Settleing the fart-cup on the bottom of the tub leaving it there for his parents.
His dad found it. Wondered why a cup is in the tub and just picked it up. Proceeded to vomit right after.
One time I was in a heavy, drunken make out session with this girl and I had this terrible sensation like I had a giant hard crusty booger in my nose. I tried to ignore it and focus on what I was doing but I just couldn't. I claimed I had to go to the bathroom and as soon as I closed the door I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose and a silver stud earring comes out of my nose. I looked at it, pondered how drunk I was, rinsed it off, set it on the sink and went back to what I was doing. To this day I still cannot fathom how that girl's earring managed to get up my nose....
My tongue was pierced for years. I switched to plastic balls on the barbell after I accidentally bit the metal one a couple times but the plastic balls didn't seem to screw on as tightly. I swallowed 3-4 but I didn't give up & remove the jewelry permanently until I swallowed the entire bar.
I have a thing where I inhale saliva into my lungs in the night. It's very...it's very lots of things. I once inhaled a pill that apparently was stuck in my mouth for like...hours. Anyways, imagining inhaling a piece of a tongue piercing is truly horrifying and entirely possible, for me least. I'm glad I'm too old to care about piercings.
I cracked a molar on my metal tongue piercing so I did the same as you and started wearing plastic, noticing the same thing and swallowed a couple balls off of them. Now I just wear metal and chew more carefully. That being said though I still crunch down on it once in a blue moon
Or the fact they the one with Colin ferral(sp) even exists. I don’t usually walk out on movies, but I had to leave during that movie out of simple disrespect to the plot of the original.'
Oh yeah, it's fantastic. I also like that someone figured out the exact day that Ferris supposedly took off based on the Cubs game and weather and some shit. I love it. 🤣
If you are a man, you just gave birth. Keep it under your armpit for 60 days to incubate and then raise him (for man babies are always hims) to be a truck driver. Feed him plenty of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. You gotta clean up after him. After all, if you weren't planning on having a man baby then you shouldn't have been watching soccer without protection.
If you're a girl, then squish it. It's a man baby.
I dunno, I see things all the time of people having things lodged up their nose since childhood and never knew it was there. Maybe it wasnt recent? Could have potentially come from a stuffed animal too
This happened to me years ago when I was a kid!!!
It was squishy - not sticky like a booger - and had the texture of a piece of gum. I never opened it or anything, just threw it out, but I wish I had. Still perplexes me to this day.
As a teenager, I once woke up with a terribly blocked nose; got up, made some breakfast, watched some tv… sneezed the most violent, painful sneeze and shot a bb bullet onto my plate.
I had been shooting my BB gun in my room, guess a pellet was on my bed when I went to sleep and breathed it in 🤷♂️
My guess is a large sprinkle from a cupcake or cookie. Eat your weird booger and tell us if it's sweet. Makes sense if you "inhaled" some Christmas cookies lately.
I once had a terrible scratching feeling in my throat after eating chineses food. For two whole days, finally I coughed up a rock hard pea. It was weird to say the least.
are you a clam
….maybe
You never go full clam.
Farting in bathtubs, laughing your ass off.
I was told that before the cartoon, a smurf was a person who farted in the bathtub and caught the bubbles with their mouth before they reached the surface.
What terrible day to know how to read.
What. The. Fuck?
Someone i know. As a kid farted in an upsidedown cup. Held the cup in place and let the water drain. Settleing the fart-cup on the bottom of the tub leaving it there for his parents.
His dad found it. Wondered why a cup is in the tub and just picked it up. Proceeded to vomit right after.
https://preview.redd.it/j2c9vm9ag39g1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=086f2c75448485b7949f9b377621113d2a3c1a46
Core childhood memory unlocked!
https://youtu.be/pk52mMfPiTk?si=ZoW3eg7NW11uwM1f
This is a strange collection of words.
https://i.redd.it/vhhwzlzdsz8g1.gif
He doesn’t know how to use the three shells.
Clam Snide
I always go full clam
Name checks out
Tom Hanks—looked like a clam, acted like a clam. Not a full clam. Never go full clam.
Start an Etsy store selling nose pearl jewelry. Profit!
r/clamworks
Up late partaking in some nose clams
Don’t look at me. Eyes up 👆
Nose clams, fresh from the sea
Getting clam was the goal that night.
Honestly this is one of the funniest comments I’ve ever read, thank you.
One time I was in a heavy, drunken make out session with this girl and I had this terrible sensation like I had a giant hard crusty booger in my nose. I tried to ignore it and focus on what I was doing but I just couldn't. I claimed I had to go to the bathroom and as soon as I closed the door I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose and a silver stud earring comes out of my nose. I looked at it, pondered how drunk I was, rinsed it off, set it on the sink and went back to what I was doing. To this day I still cannot fathom how that girl's earring managed to get up my nose....
Maybe it was her nose ring? Either way, glad you got it out!
Could be from a piercing situated a bit lower on her body.
True, but they didn’t mention having clam chowder….just a make out sesh?
Imagine if it was someone else’s! Hahaha from the party prior!
I lost my nose ring in a guy's long hair during a make out one time. I wish I'd gone and bought another one; I just let it close up.
He didn’t say exactly what he was making out with to be fair
r/unexpectedseinfeld
My wife has absolutely gone to the bathroom and had a ball from my lip piercing fall out... 🤣 Certainly could happen the other way around.
My tongue was pierced for years. I switched to plastic balls on the barbell after I accidentally bit the metal one a couple times but the plastic balls didn't seem to screw on as tightly. I swallowed 3-4 but I didn't give up & remove the jewelry permanently until I swallowed the entire bar.
It sounds like you are very lucky you didn't choke in sleep
I have a thing where I inhale saliva into my lungs in the night. It's very...it's very lots of things. I once inhaled a pill that apparently was stuck in my mouth for like...hours. Anyways, imagining inhaling a piece of a tongue piercing is truly horrifying and entirely possible, for me least. I'm glad I'm too old to care about piercings.
Im sorry, That sounds both exhausting and scary, I'm glad the pill didn't hurt or kill you, how do you sleep at night when this happens?
I cracked a molar on my metal tongue piercing so I did the same as you and started wearing plastic, noticing the same thing and swallowed a couple balls off of them. Now I just wear metal and chew more carefully. That being said though I still crunch down on it once in a blue moon
One time… my nose ring got stuck on a guys nose ring…and we had to carefully pry ourselves apart after kissing. Very Brooklyn problem to have.
OP is a Hungry Hippo and I claim my £5
You’re ACTUALLY losing your marbles.
This is such a good mom joke I love it
The aliens did a bad job keeping the tracker in.
Or they had the tracker disabled like in close encounters of the 3rd kind haha
Thank you for being you. Excellently obscure
It makes me sad that total recall is considered obscure now.
Man, ain’t that the truth.
Or the fact they the one with Colin ferral(sp) even exists. I don’t usually walk out on movies, but I had to leave during that movie out of simple disrespect to the plot of the original.'
As a Gen Xer who works with millennials, EVERYTHING is obscure.
Gen X here as well, and one of my millennial co-workers in Chicago told me back in 2017 that they had never seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
A username was born out of the resulting depression.
Have you read about the theory that he was stuck in a Groundhog's Day loop?
Oh yeah, it's fantastic. I also like that someone figured out the exact day that Ferris supposedly took off based on the Cubs game and weather and some shit. I love it. 🤣
My nickname in college was “Ferris.” Seriously
Well put it back, Jesus Christ
Pearl in the rough!!! What other neat trips can you do?
Can you lay an egg 🥚?
styrofoam beanbag refill balls
Put it back, it hasn’t hatched yet
https://preview.redd.it/98s04y9tmz8g1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1bc2b49be0c764203ddef7a3150b130b7d610ea
https://preview.redd.it/394x4q5bqz8g1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc543c16a2eb4983b199d6533128e97d2f5a209e
So that’s what those are, I am thoroughly disgusted
That’s your soul. Put it back
No banana for scale??
I don’t have any I’m sorry twin 😔
Even a plum should suffice
Came here for this comment 🍌
Those things move at the idea of a breeze, check your bean bag zip. Do you ever sleep on it?
If you are a man, you just gave birth. Keep it under your armpit for 60 days to incubate and then raise him (for man babies are always hims) to be a truck driver. Feed him plenty of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. You gotta clean up after him. After all, if you weren't planning on having a man baby then you shouldn't have been watching soccer without protection.
If you're a girl, then squish it. It's a man baby.
Who shot you with a bb gun, and how long ago?
Airsoft. Looks like it might be a biodegradable one.
The other one will be lonely up there tonight.
Oh shit I’ve been looking for that
If you’re a cat, I hope it isn’t your one brain cell
Shot in the face with an airsoft gun?
Do you have kids? Or a kinky partner?
I’m a teenager 😅
That doesn't answer the question.
n/m, I don't want to know now.
Ah, that's where it went.
Mazel Tov!
It's good that you shared it
Nose dusting on a cold day?
Well. There goes a memory.
Looks like an airsoft bb
Hit!
I dunno, I see things all the time of people having things lodged up their nose since childhood and never knew it was there. Maybe it wasnt recent? Could have potentially come from a stuffed animal too
Looks important, stuff that bad boy back in there
You are a oyster, that is your pearl
Does it smell really bad? Crushable? It could be a tonsil stone. I sneezed one out once lol.
Ya know, I dont think youre supposed to eat whats in those silica packages let alone shove them in your nose 😅
You have laid your first egg congratulations! May the hatching bring you much joy.
I'd say the spiders are just about ready to hatch
This just clammed out of my clam
Nose circles!
You laid an egg! :D (Humans lay eggs through their nostrils)
It's a booger pearl
Well put it back up there, FAST!
https://preview.redd.it/e3r5jumcm09g1.jpeg?width=1009&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6943fdf5545fde0ab621d18c3d0aae3b642a5bc7
Don't put marbles in your nose!
Jesus, I've read "Think it's from my gangbang"
Put it back
Oh sh*t, put it back! You need that!
…and your last remaining brain cell is still stuck in third place.
Put it back
That’s the bead you stuffed up there when you were 2.
it might be important! Put it back.
Sorry you lost one of your marbles...
Put it back
Ew. Put it back in.
I am 57 and still have a few left. I know this because when I shake my head vigorously, I can hear them rattling around.
You laid your first nose egg, congratulations 🎊
r/eatityoucoward
Was probably inside of your nose then.
Sneeze egg
Have you eaten cake recently? Could be some sort of decorative bead
Keep it warm for 9-12 months. Congrats, dad/mom!
You made a pearl, dude
Airsoft BB
Put it back
There's a Cheech and Chong reference in there somewhere......
Your wife, a child, a roommate? I think someone might have put it in your nose when you were asleep!
Either you put it up there and forgot... or someone else did... Both options are frighting.
Looks like you need to get your ass to mars howser
Ohhh….😯 damn. 😳
Oh that's an implant/tracker from aliens. Have you been abducted?
Could we make a Twilight Zone episode out of this?
I don’t believe it! You had to put it up your nose and forgot!
Is that your brain?
incubate it during a few weeks
congratulations
You won!!!
This happened to me years ago when I was a kid!!! It was squishy - not sticky like a booger - and had the texture of a piece of gum. I never opened it or anything, just threw it out, but I wish I had. Still perplexes me to this day.
Open it!!
Micro plastics??
"Kinky sex? Let's just say a cold isn't the only thing I've had in my nose."
Sorry, not sorry.
Been playing much airsoft lately?
my dianette!
Are u a home Depot? Cause that's polystyrene
Have you been snorting bb bullets lately?
https://preview.redd.it/nygn03k2xz8g1.png?width=305&format=png&auto=webp&s=df512cdeb12b084a688106acb9769c741252b8b8
Did you went airsofting lately?
'Twas a small piece of your brain
Why did you snort it up there?
The title of this post reads like a children’s book.
I love it. I’d buy it.
Could be an anal bead. Were you standing on your head?
As a teenager, I once woke up with a terribly blocked nose; got up, made some breakfast, watched some tv… sneezed the most violent, painful sneeze and shot a bb bullet onto my plate. I had been shooting my BB gun in my room, guess a pellet was on my bed when I went to sleep and breathed it in 🤷♂️
Looks like a fireball TBH.
Could it be a plastic BB? Did you get shot as a child?
Well, it doesn’t look like a booger 🧐
r/eatityoucoward
human pearl!
Spiders!!!!
Do you play airsoft?
Brain
Expanded polystyrene.
Its a spider egg, you need to remove the spider in you nose too or it will make another one
You nasty.
Airsoft bb
Why'd ya put it up there?
Do you play airsoft?
Airsoft bb is my guess
We need that banana for scale.
Is it a tonsil stone
Congrats a insect has played eggs in your nose! Lol j/k
It's a boogorb.
A pearl?
Mfs a clam
White septum ring ball?
Airsoft pellet?
My guess is a large sprinkle from a cupcake or cookie. Eat your weird booger and tell us if it's sweet. Makes sense if you "inhaled" some Christmas cookies lately.
https://preview.redd.it/ydcdfffks09g1.jpeg?width=2400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e63ab058a25f43d2edd19ebe2c5738e4dc743f37
Looks like an airsoft BB.
We knew about the spider eggs, but the hauntavirus!?
Make a wish!
You can probably sell that. Just some sanding and a little stain and lacquer will get it looking like new.
So how’d you get that table in your nose anyway?
I once had a terrible scratching feeling in my throat after eating chineses food. For two whole days, finally I coughed up a rock hard pea. It was weird to say the least.
Tonsil stone. I call them my tonsil brains since that's what it looks like.
Why does this look like a video
Put it back in there.
A real life nostril pearl
Bless you
Really getting into the holiday sprinkle cookies, huh?
Had the squeaker from a dogs toy do that once. A spring...and a lefo figures head. Happens to the best of us
Blow again, see if something else comes out.
You could be sleep walking and doing some weird shit while doing so.
Spider egg sack
A good remembering of the good times playing airsoft when teenager.