You can keep your child with you, it is also possible you could sit in on class with your child. Just talk to the staff about it in advance, don’t spring it on them Sunday morning.

I've heard a saying about UU services that I think is accurate. "If you didn't like the service, come back next week because it will be totally different."

I was firmly anti-theist before I found UU. The only time ive sat in on the kid's RE class, they talked about the Stonewall riots and read a kids book about it.

If they stream their services online, give that a try first.

Services really vary from UU to UU. I went to one UU for quite a while that went from Christian-ish services with one minister to somewhat support group like with another. The one I attend now has a lot of atheists, so it's more focused on discussion.

You could see if your local one does services online? I think most do. That might be easier for the first time.

In every UU I've attended, it's been perfectly fine to keep your kids with you during the service, even if they do have a separate children's program. One had a little area in the sanctuary with toys and seats for parents. I think it'd be fine to attend for a while and learn more before separating from your child.

I echo the suggestion to virtually attend a service to see how the UUs near you do theirs. You can also check out the virtual service option for other UU churches that aren’t local to you to give you a sense of how diverse services can be.

As for Youth Religious Education, I will say that all of the Directors of Religious Education I’ve met are wonderful with giving thorough information on their programs. You might even ask if there are other parents you can connect with you get their sense of the YRE programs at your local congregation(s).

Consider finding services on YouTube. You can watch them in a place where you feel safe and turn them off if you feel unsafe at any point. Many fellowships now post services online (I know mine does), so you’ll have plenty to choose from. If your local fellowship doesn’t post their services online or if it doesn’t work for you, you can follow one that does, regardless where you are.

What RE is like will depend on how many kids there are, their age distribution, and how much professional staff they have, whether that staff is connected to the UU professional RE organization (LREDA), and whether they're using new RE materials or still recycling stuff from the 90s.

Here's some of the recent free offerings from the UUA for children and families. Hopefully, RE at your prospective congregation is aligned with this. However, UU is deeply congregationalist; the local church decides what they do locally. That's why people can't give you a lot of certainty about what you will experience.

I would encourage you to call the office and try to make an appointment with the minister or RE professional to discuss your concerns and find out what your congregation is like.

I will say that most UU congregations on most Sundays have a service that is similar in structure to a mainline Protestant service (hymns, congregational recitation, offering request, sermon) but with discussion of how to be a good person in the world instead of discussion of God/Jesus/Bible. The most uniquely UU activity is likely to be the chalice lighting and extinguishing, but except for the use of open flame, that is very like an opening and closing prayer.

Good Luck. If UU turns out to be a bad fit, my next recommended stop would be a Quaker Meeting.

Some UU congregations also have Buddhist sanghas. And if not, you can start one.

I recommend looking into volunteering with the Religious Education committee. It's a great way to be involved in the community and, if you're like me, you'll be so involved with it that you'll hardly ever actually attend services.

I agree with the suggestion to check out online services. Many have both an option to attend synchronously remotely, such as Zoom, and post videos of the service on YouTube or somewhere.

Start with videos of previous services. It's 100% anonymous and under your control.

Then try a real-time one. This is still anonymous if you choose and under your control, but may feel more intimidating since people will know you're there and you'll probably have a greeter reach out to you.

If your local congregation does not offer this (though I think most do in some form since covid), you could check out other congregations to get a feel for UU in general.

This also allows you to check things out without having concern about your kid as an additional stress.

Once you're more confident that it's what you're looking for and you're comfortable with it, then consider attending in-person.

I also agree with the recommendation to try more than one service if the first doesn't hit quite right, as they can vary. This is especially true if the service is lay-led or a guest speaker - you want to get an impression of the actual minister.

The first service I attended was rather less than inspiring, and I didn't come back until several years later when an acquaintance who attended encouraged it. I went during the summer, when ministers often take a sabbatical, so it wasn't really representative.

We also had a lay speaker who did a yearly service that I called the "Save the Earth, Kill yourself" service which I found utterly intolerable for multiple reasons. I'd hate for something like that to be someone's first and only impression of UU.

You can review the UU children's safety recommended practices at https://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/safety-for-re. These are not a guarantee that an individual congregation is following all these practices, but will give you an idea of what is expected and what you should look for.

Every congregation is a little different, so can't tell you exactly what to expect. 

I sat in RE with my kid for the first few times when we started attending. They would generally read a picture book, ask some "wondering" questions, and have some crafty activity that went with the story. 

Before I took my kid though, I attended a couple of services on my own to decide if it was a fit for us.

If you're nervous about getting triggered, ask a friend to come with you who understands your situation, and sit near the back/near a door in case you need to leave suddenly. 

Are there any ways you can address those issues beforehand, like if there's more than one UU congregation near you, try the one whose building is more different from what you grew up with? 

Become a Religious Education (RE) helper, maybe in your girl's class. I LOVED this! We did crafts, focused on a topic, and generally kids who only saw each other on Sundays maintained their friendships.

The kids service was just where I wanted to be. This varies with how good the youth minister is, of course, but look on the UUA site to check out the RE curricula. 🕯️

I grew up Catholic and had a very very bad experience. Religious trauma most of my life and rejected religion. When I was looking for something, community, and something for my kids...I kept thinking that was the only thing church got right. But it gave me the ICK. It took several months in my therapy to work through the idea of checking out my local UU church. Then I watched it online a few times. I finally went in person and the particular service was like it was made for me. I cried. It was definitely "home" and I've never looked back.