French-Canadian police
  • 3140 points marslo

    Just some context for our American friends. To become a police officer in Quebec its a 4 year program and have to go to college (cégep). It has a very low admission rate.

    Very different from the states where it's a 6 months program anyone can join.

    parent
    1172 points Biuku

    Yeah, and we don't need armoured personnel carriers to catch shoplifters.

    parent root
    1690 points wossquee

    This is such an offensive stereotype about American police. They only use the APCs when the shoplifters are black

    parent root
    294 points DaredevilMeetsL

    They had us the first half, not gonna lie.

    parent root
    8 points Addicted-2Diving

    Lol

    parent root
    61 points atred

    In their defense the APCs drive easier over the bodies...

    parent root
    22 points YandyTheGnome

    Have you seen the tires on an MRAP? Bodies ain't slowing those things down.

    parent root
    5 points MistaRekt

    Can I just point out that the Aussie Bushmaster would be the best MRAP for American police, ICE, lifeguards, and girl scouts.

    parent root
    5 points NeoSniper

    Or when raiding a Home Depot?

    parent root
    118 points Brewbouy

    Lol, cops here don't go after shoplifters very often. They need those APCs to put down peaceful protests, silly.

    parent root
    24 points HausFry

    I thought the APCs were all tied up driving the National Guard to the protests?

    parent root
    13 points phsychotix

    Excuse me I think you mean kill

    parent root
    13 points H-s-O

    And we don't employ masked Gravy Seals LARPers to disappear minorities

    parent root
    4 points Daryltang

    They DONT catch shoplifters?

    parent root
    232 points Yakigomi

    Unfortunately, 6 months is much closer to the high-end of police training in the U.S.

    Several states have what amounts to 3 month long training programs.

    To be fair, there is on the job training as well, but U.S. police academies tend to be pretty short programs.

    parent root
    45 points Negative_Gas8782

    Wait the police get training? You can’t tell by their accuracy that’s for sure.

    parent root
    21 points JellyBellyBitches

    That's not what they're trained on 😬

    parent root
    32 points ramboton

    There are actually still a few where you can be hired and start working while waiting up to a year to go to the 300 hour academy.

    parent root
    27 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

    parent root
    22 points toylenny

    And sheriffs, are a political position, so no training needed what so ever.

    parent root
    17 points qpv

    I've always found that really bizarre

    parent root
    18 points AardQuenIgni

    Wait until you find out how much training our FBI Director has.

    parent root
    10 points SdotPEE24

    Wait until you find out how much time the deputy director of the bureau of prisons served.... no wait...

    parent root
    3 points PlateNo4868

    Don't forget there really isn't much re-training or re-certs after. Hence why you see police who been there for 10 years not know how to work as a team to tackle a individual. Stuff like that requires constant re-training.

    parent root
    87 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

    parent root
    13 points qpv

    What a story. Guy became a security guard instead. Wacky.

    parent root
    4 points slayermcb

    JFC, I lived just outside this "city" back then. Things are starting to make a lot of sense right now.

    parent root
    53 points Vajernicus

    Not anyone! If you are too smart they turn you away.

    parent root
    51 points UtahBrian

    American police won a high profile civil rights lawsuit where they won the right to exclude anyone who was smart enough for a college education.

    parent root
    27 points fire2day

    Along with one that removed their obligation to protect individual citizens and another regarding enforcing restraining orders.

    parent root
    7 points BoringDad40

    Could you provide some details on this? The only case I've ever heard regarding an IQ test involved a connecticut police department, but it had nothing to do with "being too smart for a college education".

    parent root
    29 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

    parent root
    19 points DBisson122

    So, Québec has it's own police separate from the rcmp, and if you want to be police in Québec, at the provincial or city level force, it's a 3 years college degree and then a few more montes of police training in nicolet.

    parent root
    3 points JediMasterZao

    You're wrong when it comes to Québec.

    parent root
    32 points xangkory

    6 months, that must be a fancy state. My state requires completion of the 16-week police academy within 18 months of being hired. So you can actually be on the job for a year without even going through training.

    parent root
    14 points Numerous_Ad_6276

    Hahaha, six months, that's adorable. More like 10 weeks on the average.

    parent root
    7 points mmciv

    How is that context to what's happening in the video?

    parent root
    6 points jimmydean50

    I taught at a community college where they offered that 6 month program. I’d walk out my classroom to some of the most out of shape dudes practicing with batons on the tennis courts.

    parent root
    2 points triodoubledouble

    But to increase their rating in school to be admitted they pick the easy mathematics in high school. From this you get the inspiration for my would be pick up line. « Faque …. Si tu t’es ici c’est que tu n’as pas pris tes maths 436? «  It’s a guaranteed ticket and be sure they know how to do additions.

    parent root
    2 points TurboGranny

    To become a police officer in Quebec its a 4 year program and have to go to college (cégep)

    So they caaaaaaan speak English and are just pretending they can't. Classic Quebec attitude.

    parent root
    2 points HTstuffVII

    Dude. Here in the states nurses and physician assistants apparently don’t need a degree anymore either! They’re no longer considered professional degrees per the Big Beautiful Bill. God help us…

    parent root
    2 points hcb9117

    I don't think you know what context means

    parent root
    2 points DearClaudio-oh

    Additionally, in spite of the tougher requirements for being a police officer, in Quebec, you wont get in if you dont have a sense of sarcasm and humour. Luckily women here naturally have both. YES, NO, TOASTER. lol.

    parent root
    2 points Ottifantist

    Time to remeber everyone that Steven Seagal was allowed to be a cop. He patroled poor neighbourhoods and curiously arrested mostly black people. Great summary of the system I think

    parent root
    2 points HelloAttila

    In America it requires a minimum GED.

    parent root
  • 1246 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
    525 points iranoutofusernamespa

    Just tell them you don't speak french.

    parent root
    186 points someguyfromsk

    Or you made a bilingual sign with the English letters juuuust a little too big.

    parent root
    116 points pass_nthru

    use Parisian spelling & grammar instead of Québécois

    parent root
    95 points Zirenton

    Nailed it. I was about to suggest telling THEM they don’t speak French.

    parent root
    32 points Any_Roll_184

    We have a winner!

    parent root
    19 points slamdanceswithwolves

    Be too rude, or not be rude enough.

    parent root
    7 points 2020mademejoinreddit

    You mean the REAL French.

    parent root
    21 points BZK_QRay

    Or even just have the English letters before the French ones

    parent root
    31 points someguyfromsk

    https://preview.redd.it/rvjjfb0qp33g1.png?width=861&format=png&auto=webp&s=97a94ab0f3e728c2f9b1c180336fa2557415cfdb

    parent root
    8 points Andre1661

    Annnnd... you'll get whacked upside your head with a big, meaty non-withstanding clause.

    parent root
    16 points bikemikeasaurus

    "oui oui baguette omelette du fromage" while quickly pointing at yourself then them repeatedly.

    parent root
    14 points DoggystyleFTW

    Just tell them THEY don't speak French.

    parent root
    13 points xXThreeRoundXx

    https://i.redd.it/qm8ogq97143g1.gif

    parent root
    3 points Least_Expert840

    Be careful, you could have problems with the language police

    parent root
    58 points WeekSecret3391

    Getting black-out drunk in public to the point of being a danger to yourself but still respectfull of others.

    It comes with a ticket though

    parent root
    45 points danger355

    Risk it for the biscuit.

    parent root
    15 points MasterBot98

    If ticket had a phone number...

    parent root
    36 points Cargobiker530

    Put ketchup on your poutine.

    parent root
    22 points ThermionicEmissions

    Doesn't want to get arrested OR shot.

    parent root
    4 points Cargobiker530

    Point conceded.

    parent root
    15 points TheRealTinfoil666

    Tell them that you prefer the original poutine recipe from Ontario rather than the inferior French copies.

    parent root
    6 points Unhappy-Attention760

    I’ve been very bad. Tres mal

    parent root
    3 points GettingOnMinervas

    Tell them you eat crepes with ketchup. Oh wait, that'd probably get you arrested. Scratch that.

    parent root
    4 points Eryn-Flinthoof

    I am the friend. I want to get handcuffed and treated roughly. Please.

    parent root
    3 points SteakJesus

    make the english words larger than the french ones.

    parent root
    3 points demwoodz

    Ask for freedom fries with cheese and gravy

    parent root
    3 points sofahkingsick

    Mispronounce croissant

    parent root
    0 points CodeWeary

    User name checks the fk out 🤣

    parent root
    2 points elcojotecoyo

    Ask your poutine with Provolone and the gravy on the side

    parent root
    2 points ambermage

    Mix some red wine with a Coca-Cola.

    parent root
    2 points thecasualcaribou

    In Quebec, you would only need to go 5 km/h over the speed limit for that to happen. Ruthless there

    parent root
    2 points aardw0lf11

    Just ask “Qu’est que vous faitez ce soir?”

    parent root
    2 points short_longpants

    Remind...your friend...that when that happens he is not supposed to smile or make moans of pleasure!

    parent root
    2 points bukkake-bill

    Please try to act normal, even when you see a video of attractive women. It is entirely possible, and I have faith in you. You'll do it one day. You can be normal. 😊

    parent root
  • 978 points srtxf

    If the accent was not already giving it away, the "Yes, no, toaster" fully confirms that they're from Québec!

    It's a quote from a popular Qc comedy sketch from the late 90's, where someone mentions not knowing any English beside those 3 words

    parent
    140 points braytag

    Well the SPVM kinda says it's Montreal's police.

    Service de Police Ville de Montreal.

    parent root
    31 points srtxf

    Fair, but I couldn't really read the letters from my phone

    Plus, I'm not from Montréal, I'm a LOT more likely to see the SQ than the SPVM ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    parent root
    6 points garth54

    I've always felt like they have a grammatical error in their name, and it should be: Service de Police de la Ville de Montréal.

    parent root
    42 points Tal-Star

    THANK YOU!!!

    I was trying to figure out what that was after Yes, No.... And <3 for the context!

    parent root
    27 points srtxf

    It's a pretty typical way of saying toaster with the Qc French accent. not really trying to say it properly in English

    It's a bit similar to how some people pronounce the "j" and say "jalapeno", instead of saying "jalapeño" with an aspirated "j" (hope that made sense. A bit hard to convey the difference in written form...)

    Not surprised you couldn't quite figure it out without context!

    parent root
    6 points Tal-Star

    Once you get the idea, you hear it but without context, the word is so random, it doesn't catch on in my brain XD (sound quality comes on top: "Yes, No Go, Sir... quoi ???!")

    Merci!

    parent root
    5 points Shadow_Hound_117

    If it helps you explain it better from what I understand you were trying to say, some people pronounce it with a "J" sound instead of the "H" sound it's meant to, so "ja-lapeno" instead of "ha-lapeno" it's supposed to sound like

    parent root
    6 points notbythebook101

    This is the comment I came here for. I just wanted to know what she had said, and you included context as well. Thank you!

    parent root
    2 points Nitzelplick

    Thanks. I could not understand it but was trying to make it French.

    parent root
    2 points noobeddit

    Yes,Toaster pis Parthenais.

    parent root
  • 733 points SirBobPeel

    That looks like Montreal police. The odds of finding three Montreal cops together and none speak English are vanishingly small. Pretty much all of them are bilingual to a greater or lesser degree. They are playing with him.

    parent
    507 points flow_fighter

    They are 100% messing with him,

    They obviously don’t want to talk to him, and he’s filming for no reason. Likely just want him to piss off, but as Canadians, are doing it in a funny way

    parent root
    108 points nevenoe

    I just imagine a moron filming and bothering cops in France and let me tell you that would quickly end in human rights abuse.

    parent root
    39 points already-taken-wtf

    His next try was with some ICE agents. Funnily enough no new videos on his stream since then ;p

    parent root
    3 points itcheyness

    He'll found hogtied and hanging in a jail cell after having committed "suicide"...

    And just so you know, that's only kinda a joke. At least one detainee has been found that way.

    parent root
    5 points 2020mademejoinreddit

    This made me audibly laugh XD

    parent root
    28 points LaserKittenz

    pretending to not speak English to mess with visitors is essentially the official sport of Quebec.

    parent root
    3 points flow_fighter

    Yessir, it can be a lot of fun

    parent root
    94 points Crockinator

    The guy is well-known by the spvm to be an agitator. He gets in the way of interventions for clout and keeps claiming he does not speak French when asked to gtfo. They totally speak English, they're just not falling prey to his antics.

    parent root
    11 points Freefallisfun

    In my experience, everyone is Montréal is bilingual enough. I thought he was hitting on them and they were like, not interested

    parent root
  • 355 points dreaminginteal

    I think I may need to travel to Quebec and commit some kind of crime... ;-)

    parent
    135 points escrimadragon

    Loooove commitin’ some crimes in quee-becks

    parent root
    74 points webbie0225

    That’s what I appreciates about yous

    parent root
    46 points escrimadragon

    Allegedlies

    parent root
    36 points BlowFish-w-o-Hootie

    There’s great…crimes… in Quaybec.

    parent root
    25 points BetterWhenImDrunk

    Lot's of DGens from Upcountry though.

    parent root
    18 points freakoffear

    Fuckin dgens

    parent root
    7 points Tenebrarc

    Oh there's great crimin in Kebekk!

    parent root
    3 points marcthenarc666

    They're also a chance that you'll meet the next "Matricule 728" during your capers. Be careful what you wish for. (You can Google it.).

    parent root
    15 points TinUser

    I'm surprised I'm not committin' crime in K-beck right now

    parent root
    7 points DoNotEatMySoup

    Nothin quite like committin' a crime in Cue-bec

    parent root
    38 points uppsala1234

    ”What are you going to do? Handcuff me and then spit on my face?”

    parent root
    23 points dreaminginteal

    "Please?"

    parent root
    19 points bikemikeasaurus

    Pour packet gravy on cheddar cheese fries and call it poutine. Boom, jail.

    parent root
    10 points Qubed

    Go up there and steal some hearts. We're rooting for you!

    parent root
    2 points DEADxDAWN

    Like processed cheese slices on fries with packet gravy yeah

    parent root
  • 199 points CantTakeMeSeriously

    Yes No Toaster

    parent
    68 points uberduck999

    I feel bad for everyone who didn't get this reference. Absolute classic French Canadian humour.

    parent root
    11 points jeandolly

    Is it a reference to something?

    parent root
    34 points issi_tohbi

    It’s an old comedy bit about only knowing the words yes no and toaster in English

    parent root
    11 points Borror0

    Beyond being a reference, it's just a common saying.

    Many French Canadians who have never seen the clip will say it. It just makes inherent sense to us. "Toaster" is more commonly used than the proper "grille-pain." So, "yes, no, toaster" clearly communicates very limited English.

    parent root
    4 points dubeach

    If only there was some kind of visual aid to help me understand

    parent root
  • 97 points 150yd7iron

    Oh la la.

    parent
    17 points mMathab

    Marty McFly is that you?

    parent root
    6 points qwertty69

    Ah, Gérard Depardieu

    parent root
    9 points HackerCuu

    Jacques Cousteau, baguette, hon!

    parent root
  • 76 points BlandJustice

    Ah, oui. Mon bonjour et fromage est dans la bibliothèque

    parent
    60 points ClutchMclane

    Congrats! You have passed your Canadian French exam! Unfortunately, your grade is only good enough for Alberta.

    parent root
    16 points BlandJustice

    Si. Je vais lécher ton chien

    parent root
    5 points LowIncrease8746

    Username checks out ;3

    parent root
    9 points ThereGoesChickenJane

    Hey! As a former French teacher in Alberta, I resent your suggestion that this sentence is only good enough in Alberta.

    It's way too good in Alberta, because the French curriculum here is a total joke. The first 3 years is basically learning vocabulary for 2 hours max a week.

    I did 8 years of French as a Second Language in Alberta but I was still A1 when I went to Quebec for the first time, which is where I actually learned French and now I'm B2.

    parent root
    10 points KitsuneRommel

    Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles.

    parent root
    4 points thafuq

    Is it a very weird metaphor for something else?

    parent root
    5 points KitsuneRommel

    I blame Monty Python.

    https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm

    parent root
  • 66 points Intelligent-Age-3989

    GUILTY LOCK ME UP ASAP you beauties! Lol.

    Damn they're all hot. My locals are NOT hot lol.

    parent
    24 points Lunch0

    Quebec female cops are all either young and beautiful, or 40+ and angry Karen looking

    parent root
    12 points AvidanYoutube

    i'm convinced that there was/is a genocide against ugly people in montreal

    parent root
  • 56 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
  • 35 points Blackout_Underway

    What are they saying?

    parent
    110 points maxvsthegames

    It's a bit hard to hear, but I'm pretty sure she asks him if she's his favorite because he keeps looking at her.

    And then when he says that he doesn't understand what she's saying, she tells him that he does understand french.

    He says that he only speaks english and asks her why she doesn't speak english, to which she responds "Yes, No, Toaster".

    parent root
    78 points uberduck999

    Est-ce que je suis votre préférée? (Am I your favourite?)

    Vous passez votre temps me filmer (you are spending your time filming me)

    Non

    Tu comprends bien le Français (you understand French well)

    Ah oui, tu comprends (Oh yes, you understand me)

    And "yes, no, toaster" is an old French Canadian meme.

    parent root
    12 points atred

    Why the switch from "votre" to "tu" if that friendlier or more dismissive?

    parent root
    26 points 0nieladb

    Consider "votre" to be a bit like adding "sir" to the end of the sentence. It's technically more polite, but in this context it's more to reinforce a more professional dialogue.

    Switching to "tu" probably wasn't done with any real intent, but likely signals that she was getting a bit tired of the interaction

    parent root
    14 points Thog78

    She keeps using vous in the video, but the guy is using tu. He's more familiar than he should be.

    parent root
    7 points xX_Kr0n05_Xx

    It's always funny how incomprehensible Quebecois is to me despite being a native French speaker. Until this comment I had absolutely 0 idea what she was saying lmao

    parent root
    5 points uberduck999

    I am Franco-Ontarian and even I had to listen a couple times. It really is a different language. I don't think people realize how much a variety there is to Canadian French

    parent root
  • 20 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
    3 points spaiydz

    Exactly! The cops aren't doing anything but just standing around...

    parent root
  • 18 points grandmofftalkin

    Anges de Charlie

    “Bon matin, Anges!”

    parent
  • 17 points Carbiens

    Theres a dude in the back of the car and i did not watch this 10+times to spot that i swear 😐

    parent
  • 11 points Pooch76

    ¡Croque madame!

    parent
  • 11 points PlayTheHits

    You just have to have better everything don’t you Canada?

    parent
  • 10 points Gr33ntumb

    Yes no toaster. Sti de bon

    parent
  • 10 points Leafyun

    Are we sure they're not actors in a Just for Laughs hidden camera prank...?

    parent
  • 8 points Resident-Banana-7883

    crime rates about to go up in Quebec...

    parent
  • 7 points SystemFolder

    Omelette du fromage.

    parent
  • 5 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
    2 points Sullyville

    Theyre all in their late 20s. Its like if the CW did a cop show.

    parent root
  • 6 points tootrite

    Good PR, but the Montreal police force are known across Canada for being one of the most corrupt police forces in the country.

    parent
  • 6 points Low_Friendship_1826

    Yeah they're pretty they're doing their jobs leave them alone it looks really creepy that you're filming of them that's sake

    parent
  • 6 points tanzmeister

    Copaganda

    parent
  • 6 points Western-Table-2389

    Could definitely get behind that police force

    parent
  • 6 points dr_modean

    They’re not just emergency services, they’re your emergency services!

    parent
  • 5 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
  • 4 points HoldenMcNeil420

    Now I got her hollering, sounding like a siren Talking 'bout wee-ooh-wee-ooh-wee yeah Wee-ooh-wee-ooh-wee Yeah wee-ooh-wee-ooh-wee yeah like a cop car.

    parent
  • 4 points nichyc

    "Do you speak English?" - "Non."

    "CAN you speak English?" - "Oui."

    parent
  • 3 points blaktronium

    As im sure most of you havent dealt with the women of Quebec frequently, this is a death squad. These ladies will destroy you, as soon as you no longer amuse them. Not in the good way, in the cop way. Im certain just by looking that these are hard ass cops who push around mobsters.

    You actually dont want them to rough you up, because they will for real.

    parent
  • 3 points Muted_Passenger6612

    I laughed at this. Thanks

    parent
  • 3 points ACM96

    Ok, I admid, I am guilty. Please ruff on me!

    parent
  • 3 points JesusStarbox

    Just say tabernak a lot.

    parent
  • 3 points leandrokanis

    https://i.redd.it/raj45w2ux73g1.gif

    parent
  • 3 points Otherwise_Bug990

    🎼Cop cutie, cutein on duty, baby blue booties, go ahead and lock me up...🎼

    parent
  • 3 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
  • 2 points el_pablo

    The speaking guy seems to be an immigrant. I guess he's not used to female officers in his country.

    parent
  • 2 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent
    14 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent root
  • 2 points Fuster2

    nICE.

    parent
  • 2 points Praddict

    Wo×wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    parent
  • 2 points colterpierce

    Tabernac boys.

    parent
  • 2 points UnarmedSnail

    Bookmark for when I can listen

    parent
  • 2 points AccursedDragon

    Going to go pour maple syrup on the ground.

    “Oh no, I’ve committed a national felony, someone better come arrest me”

    parent
  • 2 points SnooHabits3911

    Need the trio of butch American female cops for comparison

    parent
  • 2 points GriefPB

    I put cheddar cheese on my poutine, 🚔🚔take me away

    parent
  • 2 points supercampion

    Copaganda

    parent
  • 2 points korbath

    https://preview.redd.it/ot5ig79w0j3g1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc32c5073a725f2d84e8797b913e658a42faefbc

    parent
  • 2 points LatinHoser

    I wish all of you spoke Spanish so you could appreciate the genius of this song:

    https://music.apple.com/us/album/mujer-policia/4512458?i=4512416

    parent
  • 2 points TheStinkPanther

    “Weeooweeoowee weeoweeowee weeoweeowee”

    parent
  • Hacker News
    • Top
    • Best
    • New
    • Ask
    • Show
    • Jobs
  • beta Hugging Face
    • Posts
  • Reddit
    • r/programming
    • r/technology
    • r/science
    • r/news
    • r/gaming