Hello everyone, I apologise if this isn’t the right place to ask and any confusion in my post but my head isn’t right at the moment and I would love some help.

I’d been struggling to sleep (maybe 2-3 hours a night) for about 6 weeks before going off and it was really effecting me and my partner as I was always very sleepy, grumpy, and missed out on things we love like cooking together, I got medication 2 weeks into this to help me sleep but that didn’t do much for me, and I’m very much an 8 hour sleep a night guy so for me it was devastating.

On the 11th dec before my night shift I phoned the absence line as I just couldn’t force myself to go in any more (been working there 4 years and first absence due to sickness) and followed the instructions, my manager called me at the start and when learning I wasn’t in asked me to call the absence line again as they hadn’t received anything, so I did again the next day and self certed for a week after an appointment with my GP and then told my manager that I really needed to rest.

I then contacted the following Thursday to say that I was attempting to get a fit for work note as things had got worse for me, and I managed to get one Monday afternoon and sent it to her on Tuesday, (we work shifts so work was already finished by the time I got the note on Monday)

I explained that my stress is due to having big plans over Christmas (I got engaged in October and was planning to visit my partner’s family during the Christmas break) and work has previously really affected my annual leave a few times by treating me unfairly and this year I’ve genuinely been struggling and some smaller recent things have really bothered me, like when I need to go to the toilet they’ve said I can’t get cover for my job and I have to run to and from the toilet and rush everything, whilst I work in the same area as people that do almost nothing all shift, and in June I requested new trousers as I didn’t get any when a new company took over in April and at the beginning of December lots of people got extra uniform and I didn’t even get the trousers I requested, and problems with pay each month. Usually these things wouldn’t affect me but given my tiredness and problems at home, they really hurt.

My sick note is until 26th of January and I said I would be back on this date even if I’m not 100% as I don’t want to be too hurt financially, I was relieved after getting the fit for work note and hoped that I would finally be able to rest better and then in the new year go see my partner as she has gone to her home country (east Asia) as she had gotten really upset by everything and needed to get away from the UK and try my best to make things better with her.

I checked my emails this morning and I got an email from my senior manager saying my sick pay has been upheld because I’ve gone AWOL and not followed my process and has asked me to go in to work for a meeting in the new year, as you can imagine I just feel terrible again, I did what I’ve been asked to do, I couldn’t receive calls because I stupidly broke my phone when I was upset but I used my iPad to WhatsApp my manager when I could. But it feels like even though I’ve said my annual leave has been badly effected previously the senior manager just doesn’t care one bit (which from previous experiences with him where I voiced my concern about my new role at work to him and his only reply was to constantly say ‘you’re a warehouse operative’ and ignoring the letter I gave to him, I’d say I’m right).

Could I tell my senior manager about this in an email and say I will be available to talk over the phone but not meet in person?

I’m in a really bad way at the moment and was really hoping to get myself in a good state and mend the problems I’ve had, but now I’m feeling pretty hopeless, I would really appreciate any help, please be gentle.

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  • Some of the advice on this page is not advised. Your employer does have the right to contact you during your sick leave. They can check in with you and ask to be kept up to date on any prognosis. This contact should be reasonable ( by phone/ email) and should not cause you distress. You don't have to attend the meeting in person, tell them that you are unable to. Don't go into too much detail and certainly don't start threatening legal action. Your relationship seems to be the cause of a lot of the stress so hope this is being resolved. Hopefully the sleep issue is improving as well.

  • Do you have evidence you called the line? Ie the call log? That’s your first point.

    Second point you don’t need to go to the meeting, you have left on sick. Have you submitted the sick line correctly? Ie email? Have you got evidence?

    Do you have internal HR? Does your company offer Occupational Health? I wouldn’t go to the Senior Management. My advice would be to state in email your evidence, cc HR and confirm your end of sick date and state you would prefer not to be contacted during this leave. State the upset from your manager and the unprofessional nature has made the situation worse. If they continue, you will seek further legal advice.

    Thank you, yeah I sent the screenshot of the call I made both times, my thinking is that when the company got taken over my employee number changed, but my process is to state the number on the back of my employee card, which I did both times. And the note I received as a text message so I saved it and sent it over to my manager (she has been very nice and caring)

    I will follow your advice, thank you so much

    A long as you cc HR it will help. Also I’d remove all the information about why you’re not sleeping for now. You could request Occupational Health if you have it, it would help further your case. But it’s not necessary to tell everything to your employer especially when you do have a sick line.

    Submit a really well worked email, submit all evidence and cc HR and close the laptop. You need to focus on your mental health. If they continue then you may need to seek some advice but for now, you’re number 1.

  • Don’t go to the meeting. You’re off sick, you don’t need to communicate with him at all.

    Not a lawyer, but from what you have explained you haven’t broken any process. You called the sick line and then the manager falsely claimed that you hadn’t. You submitted the fit note. It’s normal for GPs to only provide this later in the day on a Monday, that’s their process.

    Please phone ACAS for advice.

    I was thinking that too, and when off sick with stress I can do whatever I need to make myself feel better, is that correct?

    Well, you can do anything that is legal to make yourself feel better. You are allowed to travel on holiday while you are off sick etc. You can go for a walk outside and if your colleagues snitch on you, it doesn’t matter.

    Do not attend this meeting under any circumstances. Don’t even read the manager’s messages.

    Call ACAS today.

    Thank you very much for your help, it’s much appreciated and has made me feel better

    Yes, you can do whatever you need whilst on ‘stress leave’/‘sick leave’. I strongly recommend you use this time to job hunt. It sounds like the job is the root of all evil for you.

    A job is never worth your peace. X

    Pretty much. You're allowed to leave the house, go on holiday etc. Not pick up a second job (which obviously you haven't) but my GP said yes to a few hours of volunteer work so I would get out of the house. Not sure where you'd stand on eg training or education to prepare for a new job.

    Essentially though - contact ACAS, tell them what you've told us, and then do what they tell you to do. Also bear in mind that if you need to file a claim with them for withheld pay etc, you have a strict time limit of three months less a day from the last incident.

  • All these people saying you don't need to have comms with your work place are just deluded. With my company zero comms even with a fit note equal awol. You all are going to get this person fired

    Hi there, this is incorrect. No one is going to fired.

    A fit note means you’re medically signed off, so that isn’t AWOL.

    There’s no legal requirement to stay in constant contact while you’re off sick, especially for mental health.

    Usually it’s just reasonable, minimal contact, for example like sending fit notes and talking about returning when you’re ready.

    What you’re describing sounds like your company’s policy, not the law, and policy doesn’t override medical advice.

    You just agreed with me, I said no comms will get your fired as it will be awol

  • Welcome to Modern Day UK. No virtue, truth means nothing to anyone. As long as I can cover myself and throw anyone inconvenient under the bus, then it is okay. This company should be named and ashamed. This "work culture" of gaslighting and causing decent people to suffer needs to end. In times not too long ago, we assumed honesty. Workers were not treated like inmates in some US style prison system.