You’re justifiably protecting yourself

Ah, self preservation. It is actually a very smart thing to do.

Sometimes you have no choice but to lie. You were their personal ATM machine and you got tired of being used. I would have done the same thing. Keep going with what works for you.

You're in the right here. If your parents are the kind who would drain every last surplus cent from you, specifically because they are poor at managing their own money, then you are under no obligation to set your finances on fire to keep them warm.

Congratulations on breaking the cycle. A lot of folks who are raised without a good example of how to manage money grow up to manage their finances poorly. Income isn't the only aspect of money management; outgo is the other half. As my friend said, "If you earn $1,000,000, but you spend $1,000,001, you're in debt."

I remember the story of the uncle who asked in a group chat if somebody could help him with his bills. One nephew called him up and asked how much he needed. The uncle thanked him and said he did not need any money. He just asked so everybody else would quit asking him.

GOOD FOR YOU!! Everyone should be like this. No one needs to know your financial situation. If you want to help someone you can, but you should never be pressured into it.

You don't owe anyone full financial transparency just because you're related.

I did this for years either my family a few caught on but not all. I had a boss that would make a comment about my cars or my jewelry and say I see you… and I would just put my finger to my lips and say shhh.

It’s always worked. Ppl don’t need to know that I have money. I have always lived well below my means and the only place I talk about my money is really here or with my kids when I’m teaching them about money and how to handle it.

Nothing wrong with what you did. You’re not an ATM.

Start putting money away in a 401k and adding money to an IRA if you're not already.  Not really lying about less pay in your paycheck then.

This post feels very AI generated.

Esp with your post history and last sentence

Good for you!

Stop talking finances, just change the topic.

They are adults and can figure out their own finances.

You did the right thing b it they’re gonna pretend they’re better than you lol , cut the time you spend with them man it ain’t healthy

You have to do what you have to do to protect yourself.

I tend to lie by omission if I have to deal with someone I don't trust.

Continue to make everyone believe that you’re struggling that way no one will ask you for money. Everyone loves you alone.

The truth is, it is none of their business how much you make. So you shouldnt worry what they think. 

But what will you do when you buy a new car or a house? There will be a point where they will figure it out.

You are smart. Keep it up. I would do the exact same thing.

Good for you x

"Needs must as the devil drives". Sometimes the devil is family even without any malicious intent and you need to do what you need to do to stop hurting your own life.

I do this with everyone in my family. For years one of my sisters always needed "loans" that of course she never paid back.

When I first divorced, I would ask her to help me out. She never did, but a nice side effect was that she still assumes, over a decade later, that I struggle. I lean into it. She never asks for money.

No one - not my sisters, my grown kids, nor my bf - knows that I live on half of my earnings, and that the other half is invested for my retirement. They see me living frugally and assume that I am living paycheck to paycheck.

I once made the mistake of discussing retirement with a friend of mine a few weeks ago. She is 10 years older than me, owns the home her parents built and paid for long ago, and has several grown kids and grandkids who are all doing well (I know most of them and have seen them frequently over the past 15 years). Anyhow, a few days later she texts me, asking for $1500 to fix her car! Not a loan, but to just give it to her! Thankfully I did not discuss actual numbers with her, only that i was going to be okay in retirement. I told her sorry, I just do not have the money to give her.

When I saw her fb post 2 weeks later, she was at a professional football game, near the field level, with about 20 family members celebrating her bday. When I saw her last week, I walked into her getting her kitchen cabinets replaced.

I guess she found the money somewhere.

When people know you have money, that information sits in their brain. They think of it like it is money they need to figure out how to access.

Oh, for years I would acknowledge her birthday with treats like cupcakes and a card with $100 cash. I don't know why it never dawned on me before that she did not acknowledge my birthday. So this year I only said, "I saw your post-- it looks like you had fun on your birthday!" and let it go at that.

Why not just be honest & say no. You are not a bank or back up plan. They still owe you money. No is a complete sentence.