I’ve been with my cis boyfriend for almost seven years now. He’s been with me throughout my journey of identifying as cis, questioning, coming out as non binary, supporting me through top surgery and calling me his boyfriend.
We’ve been non monogamous for many years and I’ve also fallen for a trans man (we’re just fwb but that’s not important to this post haha). My dynamic between him and my partner is quite different and I love them both. With the trans man, my more dominant side was able to flourish and I’m wondering if I felt more queer whenever he and I were out in public? He passes as cis and I still look like a woman to the public so it’s not like we look more queer vs when me and my boyfriend are out in public. But it feels more queer- I’m wondering if that’s maybe because my boyfriend has been with me since I identified as a woman vs the trans man meeting me after top surgery and hadn’t known me before that point.
Has anyone else had an experience like this where you feel more gay with T4T relationships than with a cis man? Are there any ways I can feel more gay with my cis boyfriend? Or is this a subconscious way of my mind and body wanting to also become more of a man and start T lmao help.
Just one data point but I feel a lot gayer in my longstanding relationship with a cis guy now that I'm on T and reliably pass.
Yeah I’m wondering if this is some sort of insecurity or dysphoria of me not being perceived as a gay guy, or like if I need to shake things up with my bf and try new things. Internal vs external validation/perception yknow
For sure!
This is me, too.
I mean all relationship dynamics are different. If the dynamic with your nesting partner feels weird it's okay to talk to him and see if he is willing to experiment with your relationship dynamics//dominance.
It's also perfectly okay to have different relationship dynamics between different partners. Like if each relationship is individually fulfilling to you and doesn't significantly bother you it's probably fine.