I have a haircut that I really want to get and I had it for a bit but I had to cut it again because I kept getting misgendered and it made me dysphoric. There are several men with this haircut though but because I was born a girl it makes me look like a girl though cis dudes with that haircut still get seen as dudes. It’s so stupid. The photos are men with said haircut
tbf cis men with long hair are also regularly misgendered, but ik that doesn't make it less hurtful in the moment
This. I know a dude who is ~1.80 with a goatee and just... not remotely feminine, but routinely gets she/hered because he has long hair.
This 100% I got misgendered when I had long hair, once I cut it, nobody makes the mistake. I also worked with a cis dude with longer hair and he got "excuse me miss" from behind too, lol.
Man that moment when you turn around and they correct themselves though. Golden
Especially if you deepen ur voice. I was working at a zoo gift shop and a mother said, "give the lady ur toy" and I had deepened my voice and when she gendered me again she said him. Lol.
Had a couple of customers argue abt my gender to my face last week lmao. Like, one called me sir, the other was appalled like "dont be rude, she's a woman!" (I have a beard but mask at work and my customer-service-voice is relatively high)
We got it settled but it greatly amused me
That’s a great point!
yeah my best friend is a cis dude with long hair and sometimes ppl will misgender him if they only see him from the back
Same... I have short hair now bc I feel like I have to. But I want to be a dude with super long curly hair so bad.
Same bro maybe one day I’ll start hrt and then I’d pass better 💔
Same. I'm aiming for Hozier length, but i'm currently at a mix of all the Beatles haircuts. We'll get there, and honestly, you should go for it too if that's what you want. I know how shitty and horrible being misgendered feels, but I'd rather be happy than passing 100%, because I won't either way. I hope, whether you have long or short hair, that you can be happy.
3 years on T. Got bored of short hair and grew it out. My facial hair is patchy so I tend to shave it and look relatively androgynous so I'm gendered everything under the sun but pass often. Eventually something changed in me to not care how I'm gendered. Being myself is more important. I wish for you that all of you will reach that point.
Gender envy from Danny Motta is so real, actually. I also really wish I could pass with a haircut like this. I also won’t grow out facial hair for sensory reasons, so.. I guess I just have to wait until facial masculinizing surgery is in the cards :(
Raaaaaaah Danny Motta superiority
FUCKING LEGENDS
Same! I have crazy beautiful curly hair when it’s long. I cut it short because people kept misgendering me (I’m not on T and where I live for some reason people feel like they have to include your gender in the most banal of things like thanking you or saying hi to you. And my short hair confuses them and keeps them from calling me madam/ma’am). I got so much hate because of cutting my hair, from family members to friends. I’ve even been called outright ugly, to which I replied I don’t care since I don’t see myself, they then asked whether I own a mirror!! I obviously cut contact with those people, but here’s the thing: I KNOW and agree that my hair is more beautiful long, and that I look better that way too, but I look feminine and that makes me sad or at best like I’m performing some kind of drag. Sucks that I have to choose… I’m still hopeful I can find a hairstyle that can keep the balance for me though…
I have sort of a grown out pixie cut, but I've also never seen anyone with hair styled like mine. My bangs are down to my jaw and i'm waiting to cut it until it warms up in spring. I like that it's just in that gray area where I get he and she from strangers, especially when I dress more masculine or more feminine. It didn't feel like me when I first started cutting my hair like this 5 or 6 years ago, but it became me. Hopefully you'll find your hairstyle/cut too.
Thank you! I’ll ask my hairstylist about a grown-out pixie the next time I go in for a haircut. Honestly, I “feel” great with shorter hair, but I don’t “look” good with it, esp to people who have seen me with long hair. And I’ve received so much hate and mistreatment I became reluctant to leave the house, so I’m growing it out rn. I wish the world was kinder, but well, that’s life. Maybe I just need to grow thicker skin for now :)
It's almost more of a layered short Bob but longer in the back since it's grown out, but my bangs fall in my face a lot so you may want to discuss shorter if that'll bug you. Wish you all the best! :D
Thank youuu, I’ll sure explore that. My hairstylist is very trans-friendly and goes step by step. I can start with longer bangs and go shorter if I want as he cuts. Thanks again for the help :)
It won't help you but a lot of guys with long hair get misgendered and it was especially common back in 2020 when masks were mandatory. Testosterone will eventually make you look more like a guy if you're in the beginning stages and feel uncertain, but there's no guarantee that the misgendering will stop. Not cuz of you yourself, but cuz of your hair
I have dummy thick hair and it used to look like this before I went for the buzzcut
Go for it! I have a mohawk thats down 50%+ of the time and it looks like a knock off of a kpop demon hunter do. I get non binaried to "mam"ed on the reg. But when the hawk is in flight, SO BADASS
Stubble/beard might be the key
So real
Same. I still won't cut my hair though.
My hairstyle is literally inspired by Danny Motta and Sam Winchester 😭 the way I'm perceived is usuallyyy influenced by how I dress, but not always, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out how to pass 😔
This is actually a haircut I have considered too as I have always adored longer hair on men. Im waiting to cut my hair til I get top surgery though.
Literally the hair style I think looks best on me but my face and chest are too soft
real </3
I have short hair. Yet still get misgendered
Could do some minoxidil maybe and pass well with it? I think what really makes the different is the facial hair.
Same, I finally accepted I couldn't and shaved my long hair off
I sorta have a compromise with myself. I let my hair grow out for most of the year but shave it all off for St. Baldricks every March. Usually by March my hair starts feeling too long for me and it feels great to have it all shaved off. Rn my hair is a little longer than the pictures shown, if I try I think I could pull my hair back into a tiny ponytail.
I do get misgendered more when I have longer hair but it’s never an issue with the people who know me and I think that’s what matters most. Plus luckily my voice is low enough to pass at least 70% of the time and that helps too
Not related but Danny looks really miserable in that picture
Ive had hair this length before (when i was ~3y-3.5y on t) and never got misgendered, it is possible to do!
you’ll never be truly happy if you base all of your decisions about your own appearance around other people’s perception of you. the same way you transitioned to be your true self, you have to carry that same energy into the choices you make about your transition. not just prioritizing passing.
I do know that passing isn’t everything but the dysphoria was taking a toll on my mental health so I had to cut my hair.
but i do understand if passing provides a layer of safety that being fully yourself may not be able to