I mean, everyone has a certain set of external and internal qualities that they would like to see in their partners. Someone is attracted to people of a certain appearance or race (I won't hide it, earlier, as a child, I had a tendency to fall into fictional girls with darker skin, honestly, I don't know what it was related to, maybe because in my country black people are not as widespread as in America and for me it was something unusual and therefore attractive. But now it's not so important to me and I try to appreciate people more for their inner qualities.). Some prefer girls taller or shorter, some are more attracted to brunettes, and others to blondes. Everyone has a certain type of girl that they like best: stay-at-home or daredevil, smarty or sporty, and so on. But recently I started to catch myself thinking that this is somehow not right. In the sense that all girls are beautiful and loving someone just because of certain qualities in external or internal aspects is wrong. I used to think that love is something spontaneous, something that cannot be predicted, something that depends on something deeper, something that is inside a person, and specifically looking for a girl with certain characteristics makes love less sincere, in my opinion. But I do not know what to think about it. I have not yet decided which type of girl is closest to me, because, I repeat, all girls are unique and beautiful in their own way. So I decided to find out what others think about this topic.

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  • Skin, sexuality, gender, fashion, sincerity, it doesn’t matter. All forms of preference are ok because part of it is just built into our DNA

    Speaking of, people with opposite immune systems from us smell better, so offspring can have the best of both which is really interesting. It even works in regard to homosexuality!

    Wdym by opposite immune systems?

    Well everyone is genetically engineered with immunities to all sorts of illnesses. People that are more resistant to stuff you’re not as resistant to smell better for sake of attraction.

    If your immune system is very different to somebody else's, they will smell better to you so that you are more likely to reproduce with them and make babies with varied immune systems

  • why should anyone care about your personal preference for a partner? If you're gonna spend your life with someone at least have it be someone you're genuinely attracted to

  • It's ok. For example, I am not racist, I have no problem with black people, but personally just can't find them attractive.

  • Totally normal

  • Have your preferences but keep an open mind. The end. 

  • its fine. just as its fine the other way around.

  • With your text, I just realized that for me, love is a very selfish feeling. As you yourself mentioned, we all have tastes, preferences, and certain archetypes that we desire in a partner.

    Even when someone falls in love, you can see, the person literally describes the characteristics they loved in the person, in a much more "philosophical/exaggerated" way; it's not merely an "I love this person!" No, there are certain characteristics in that person that hooked you for any reason.

    That's the final nail in the coffin of my idea. You want to have a person just for yourself, to live with them until the last of your days (The wedding speech literally says that, with aggravating factors.) Even with the best of intentions, it's still selfishness to me.

  • Everyone is allowed to have preferences for whatever reason. You can't "should" someone into liking something that they don't have a preference for. Also, I disagree that every girl is beautiful, there are a lot of nasty ones out there

  • I mean to say having a preference is wrong is to say an entire aspect of human nature is wrong. We have always had preferences and we always will. hell there's probably some base preferences so deep it's hard coded into our DNA.

  • Obviously okay

  • well, in principle, if the external means nothing, then why would age and sex matter? Surely there are many 70-year old guys with great personalities. Aren't also all men beautiful?

  • preferences just lower your chances

  • This was from a show I watched but I think it’s really good, “it’s not racist to have a preference it’s racist to have a non preference” “you can say I’m into Cuban guys but not I’m into everyone but Cuban guys”

    Edit: wrong spelling

    hm my girlfriend isn't into dark skinned guys at all. I don't think that's racist. Your statement from a show contradicts itself.

    if its not racist to have a preference but its racist to have a non preference, then your non preference is... Still a preference..

    I once watched a TV show with two guys.

    One said "I only date - or better, want to date - black women." And the other said "So you wouldn't ever date a white woman?" And the first guy said "Oh, no thank you. I only find black women hot.... is that racist?" And the other said "I don't think. It's just a preference. Only liking blondes doesn't make you hairist"

  • Yesss I think that's normal tooo