When they say that wasn't in the job description ...
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  • 114 points techtornado

    Listen to and understand information and ideas presented through spoken words and sentences

    Communicate information and ideas in speaking so others will understand

    Ummm… do they not know what we do?

    We are engineers who do precision guesswork based on incomplete data provided by those of questionable knowledge

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    27 points LifesScenicRoute

    Ya, and a really large portion of you cant talk to other humans to save your lives. I cant tell you have many people ive seen fired or let go despite having great technical skills because they have shit personalities and cant work with or near other humans without causing issues.

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    9 points Aronacus

    Your tech skills are like having a 15 inch long cock!

    doesn't mean shit if you hit every branch down on the ugly tree.

    You're competing with other people who may not have the length or girth but they are likeable, and willing to learn.

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    5 points NoetherNeerdose

    Good thing I don't have a 15 inch long cock

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    2 points Difficult_Addition85

    Still didn't stop me from having my ass kicked by the ugly tree

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    1 points NoetherNeerdose

    Word

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    3 points Teh_Shadow_Death

    We had a woman who worked for our company who was great at her job but she always started shit and would get other people fired. I told my boss there is a graph for everyone that the company sees. It's expected work productivity and drama produced. Once you start producing more drama than you produce work you're out the door. He didn't believe me.... 3 months later she put in her 2 weeks and they told her she could leave the next day. LOL

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    9 points ArgonWilde

    Bro if this was in my boss's job description, he wouldn't have a job. He legit doesn't know what is being said, or how to communicate written or verbally.

    One of my team mates can't do any of the physical requirements either... Honestly, I wish this was on both their JDs so they could be moved on...

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    2 points P3chv0gel

    I have a sign with exactly that on my Office door

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    1 points Broken-Technology68

    It's my favourite "casual Friday" work tee shirt! 🤓

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  • 53 points theservman

    Reach my arms in any direction? I may not qualify - I can't reach behind me very well. Am I allowed to turn around first?

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    9 points lord_teaspoon

    "Any", not "All". C# LINQ extensions have taught me that the former means "at least one match" and the latter means "zero non-matches". Can you reach in at least one direction?

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    2 points Durwur

    Underrated

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    2 points Mysterious-Mood6742

    Reach my arms in any direction.

    "Oops....sorry ma'am. Just doing what I'm told"

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    1 points dodexahedron

    Combine that with the finger dexterity one and this job sounds like an HR nightmare.

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  • 44 points Top_Boysenberry_7784

    Must be a remote job. It doesn't say anything about moving desks and putting shit together that has nothing to do with IT.

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    23 points aBoCfan

    Or having to listen about somebody's home tech issue after you've already explained to them that you can't help them with that.

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    16 points Top_Boysenberry_7784

    Of course unless their title includes President then you may be working on home WiFi.

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    3 points theservman

    "Other duties as assigned".

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    1 points Snert42

    I mutter something along the lines of "I'm not the janitor" way too many times at work.

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    1 points TheTjalian

    As my Head of IT says "Apparently if it runs on electricity, I'm responsible for it"

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  • 17 points pedroelbee

    This reads like some HR person got burned in the past. “You didn’t tell me I’d have to reach for things! I have health conditions that prevent me from doing so.”

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    1 points MammothRealistic

    This

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  • 16 points immallama21629

    They forgot the ability to read minds from that listing

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  • 8 points krikit386

    It's fucked up that half of the IT industry only meets like 3/4 of this list.

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    2 points lord_teaspoon

    I've seen way too many people in junior and management roles who would not pass the "apply general rules to specific problems to produce answers that make sense" requirement.

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  • 8 points jpterodactyl

    You know, there’s a lot of jobs where I feel they neglected to include this stuff. I’m glad we’re correcting for that.

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  • 4 points PercussiveKneecap42

    Damn, that pay...

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  • 2 points k1132810

    I'm wondering if they got an applicant that claimed their doctor restricts them to two hours of looking at a screen per day. Or someone who didn't realize an office job would involve using a keyboard.

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    1 points dodexahedron

    That one and the requirement of using a keyboard sounds like an ADA issue, since blind individuals must be accommodated by allowing dictation and screen readers if reasonable. And if it's just work on normal machines, it's very much reasonable.

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  • 2 points StormSolid5523

    Basic reading comprehension

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  • 2 points Difficult_Addition85

    Where do I sign up?!

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  • 1 points arcadeluke

    Just read the OP’s ss to my husband; I’m laughing the whole time while he’s sitting there with the confused white cat meme look on his face going wtf.

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    1 points arcadeluke

    For the record I run several game servers.

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  • 1 points SarcasticFluency

    ... Problems that make sense.

    Written by someone that has never taken Microsoft courses.

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  • 1 points adamantium4084

    Captain Holt approves.

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  • 1 points External-Drummer-147

    Ah, so no need to be able to write...

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  • 1 points rabbit_projector

    I see they've fired the cat.

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  • 1 points Mastericeman_1982

    This seems ableist. What about the armless, or the fingerless?

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  • 1 points bubble-guts

    I can do. Has job? Me?

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  • 1 points Kang-Chao

    Clearly aliens trying to lure human beings into their labs to perform experiments on them

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