It fucks me up so bad. I tried to hang myself 2 days ago but the rope snapped and nobody even noticed. Nobody. Wenn to school. Went to work. Talked wkth friends. I am not suppose to be here. I should not be here. Nobody noticed I tried to kill myself. I was scared and I was alone and I cried and now Im still here and nobody even cares.
I have posted something similar. I feel like a hypocrite because I don’t see a pathway for me. I’m heartbroken. Did you go to A&E and look for psych services? I think you will have to spell it out for your closest pals?
If you need to talk, feel free to reach out.
Thank you ♡♡
You need to tell someone. Then someone will notice. That's how I survived and I didn't regret it. They don't see how much you hurt, your working on that façade of yours every day. How would they know then? Think about the ones you'll leave behind. Do you really think they wouldn't care? I think you have, too, been overlooked for so long that it still hurts. But I know that you are loved. And I know that you can feel safe, one day. And you're beautiful, in and out. People who don't see that are NOT the ones to talk to and whose attention to seek. It's the people who stand up for you, see you for what you are and love you for yourself. And there are more to come, if you let them, I'm sure. I'm really certain. Please don't give up. I see you and I care. And I am but a stranger.
Im happy it worked for you! You seem like a very nice person!
I did tell someone. All I got back was that I am stupid for failing and that I am just an attention seeker since "if you would have really wanted to you would have done a different method" I even tried to get therapy. Had it for 16yrs but its impossible now. I tried for over 8 months now.
No I am not loved. I never was. I was literally Born to be a child pr0stitut3, thats the reason I exist, then "saved" and thrown into a life alone. Not even my own parents could love me. And I am not beautiful either. Years of child pr0stituti0n have ruined my body. My face is disfigured due to my parent beating me half dead. My body is full of scars, inside and out, that will never properly heal. A forced pregnancy from marital rape ruined my womb. And it made me a bitter person who sometimes uses people because thats my very messed up view on love. I tried hard to change, but my brain is damaged and ai thi k its beyond repair.
Im sorry for being so negative. I know you really mean well and I really apreciate it, but it gets tiring to hear from people who dont really know/have my life. Yes most people do have people who love them. But some sadly dont and telling us is kind of like rubbing it in. I was never loved and I probably never will be. Thats okay. I can promise you, my life is not a life with purpose. I am like a cockroach. I am meaningless, nobody likes looking at me, I am kind of worthless and only cause trouble and annoyence.