Just because you can, doesn't mean you should
  • 1 points qualityvote2

    u/PassionAfter790, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!

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  • 2118 points BonBonToro

    It fucking steamed in there and there's like residual water around the edges where the ingredients aren't at, dry on the outside, soggy on the inside bleh

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    539 points Zatchillac

    I didn't really notice the water at first but damn that just made it so much worse

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    184 points -Doctor_Science-

    This was the first thing I saw, those toppings are swimming in there 🤮

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    81 points Zatchillac

    I was too focused on those big ass meat cubes

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    86 points TheVadonkey

    Looks like hot dog chunks too. This looks like the world’s shittiest calzone.

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    18 points 1tpoq4prn

    Even Ben Wyatt's gonna give that calzone a HARD pass! Edit: spelling

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    2 points Mr-Big-Nicky-P

    Oh no is this the "Low-Cal Calzone Zone"?

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    8 points Soupbell1

    Woah, I am mad stoned. I saw the way they folded that crust back down and thought, “it looks disgusting, but someone could perfect that, making the TOP of the pizza a crispy crust too. That would be awesome!

    Then you mentioned a calzone and my heart sank. Oh yeah. Calzones.

    Maybe weed SHOULDN’T be legal in Alaska.

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    65 points Sea_Tailor_8437

    Yeah I was holding my opinions until it opened.

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    27 points ImJacksLackOfEmpathy

    For real, if it was a fluffy sopapilla type dessert like I thought it was when they first drizzled what looked like honey over the top, but nope, really is a "pizza," just filled with disgustingly undercooked slop

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    14 points EntrepreneurNo9375

    Me too i thought "let em cook" and quickly turned into"ok shows over, go cook it until its edible"

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    42 points currymuttonpizza

    Yeah I was gonna say "I don't hate it" until they opened it and I saw how it looked. If it looked like an actual pizza inside it'd be one thing but I don't think there a way to do that because you can't avoid it steaming. Maybe possible with cheese only. But what was even in there...

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    6 points olive_tuschit

    Maybe bigger meat slits would help the steaminess.

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    12 points Soupbell1

    I should call her.

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    25 points realitytvdiet

    Where is the marinara!!!!

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    16 points BonBonToro

    Evaporated!

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    5 points Head_Excitement_9837

    Didn’t see the cheese either

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    2 points finny_d420

    Becoming red flags waving at people outside to stay away.

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    20 points ztomiczombie

    But we should give them some points for using a kid's toy to inflate it and not blowing it you using their breath. So 2/100.

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    2 points No_Jello_5922

    The grossest part of most "bomb" pizzas is the drinking straw used to fill le Pizza with the cook's breath. The second grossest part is the steamed topping/fillings pooled in the crust with none of the browning needed to make them tasty on a pizza.

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    16 points danj729

    But the pizza water is the best part! Finally a chef who understands

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    19 points vee_lan_cleef

    He should pour it in a little shot glass and put it on the side. A shot of hot, pink dough water. Yummy!

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    22 points whatev43

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    9 points PackageNorth8984

    r/pizzacrimes

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    7 points illestofthechillest

    I haven't been legitimately pissed off by a random social media post until today. WTF is this and why would they ever advertise selling it?

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    6 points polycarbonateduser

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    5 points jackofslayers

    Aw man but what if it was dumplings inside

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    3 points Briareos_Hecatonhrs

    Maybe with streamed vegetables inside? Salmon? Could be interesting as long as it is not a pizza

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    2 points AlexisRosesHands

    Like poisson en papillote, but using dough instead of parchment paper.

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    2 points lesnibubak

    Just like mama used to make it * chefs kiss*

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    2 points Tw1nFTW

    Ugh, I thought it looked cool until I read this lol

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    2 points Ohhhmedetou

    The 1/3 Italian in me is appalled.

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    2 points wolfinjer

    I was into it until they opened it

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    2 points Modafokka

    "0 out of 5, get back in line! "

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    2 points scattyshern

    Yeah its like a reeeally crappy calzone

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    2 points LabradorDeceiver

    I knew it hadn't cooked right somehow but couldn't put my finger on it. Any pizza that came to me looking like that, I'd think it was undercooked.

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    2 points Elegant_Day_3438

    That’s not even a pizza dough, there is ZERO fermentation, no oven spring, zero crumb structure after baking. This is one of the least appetising “pizzas” I’ve ever seen.

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    2 points SpotonSpot873

    Congrats, you made a Sandwhich

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    2 points Best-Hair-869

    To me that looks more like a big ass wonton with barely any filling. To call it a pizza is a crime.

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  • 2858 points Eldritch-Bell

    thats just a shitty calzone

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    651 points crapfactory22

    Pizza? Never heard of it.' That's what people'll be saying in twenty years, because pizza is old news, Chris. Pizza is your grandfather's calzone - Ben Wyatt

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    110 points Sexy_Squid89

    When I hear "calzone" I immediately think Ben Wyatt lol

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    53 points mydogwasrightaboutu

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    36 points Kromting

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    23 points kingkongbiingbong

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    3 points sliceDO

    Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.

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    11 points jakexmfxschoen

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    7 points Pifin

    When I hear "calzone" I automatically translate it to britches/panties/underwear.

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    26 points Ram71

    I’m gonna call it: The Low Cal Calzone Zone

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    27 points Cautious-Activity706

    Thank you for this. My first thought

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    37 points viewer0987654321

    The Low-Cal Calzone Zone.

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    23 points JAHdropper1

    Highway to the calzone zone

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    16 points Justhereforthecards

    The calzones…betrayed me?!?

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    55 points shrubberino

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    9 points RedditGarboDisposal

    There needs to be a subreddit for randomly thrown in gifs that the previous comment outlined.

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    3 points FrigginRan

    this is a particular character named ben wyatt from the show parks and recreation that is obsessed with calzones

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    2 points OHAITHARU

    There is. /r/YourJokeButWorse

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    24 points Strict-Carrot4783

    Or maybe a dumpling because everything inside is just going to get steamed and be soaking wet lol

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    15 points gummballexpress

    For real. There was a fucking lake of veggie juice and steam on the crust... Hard pass.

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    3 points johnnyhandbags

    Yes. I was thinking the crispy crust on top would be good until I realized the “toppings” inside are just steamed. They need to make it upside-down with the bubble below.

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    14 points Bavisto

    It’s served at the Low Cal Calzone Zone

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    4 points johnny-Low-Five

    THE So Cal Low Cal Calzone Zone One?

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    3 points Sunny-Chameleon

    As seen on Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

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    2 points PuzzleheadedLeader79

    I love that guy. He lobs law bombs. 

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    2 points I_AM_RVA

    Sure that’s the name of the chain, but I think he’s talking about the one in Northern California. The No Cal So Cal Low Cal Calzone Zone

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    2 points MySkinIsFallingOff

    Order now, and try out new AirDelivery!

    Call us on the No Cal So Cal Low Cal Calzone Zone Drone Phone!

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    18 points Nob-Biscuits

    A shitzone

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    18 points iam_Mr_McGibblets

    At least put some cheese or something on the top. They just got dry bread on top there

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    4 points MotherPotential

    I think they know what their limitations are because they didn’t include cheese or pepperoni, and you can’t get good malliard reactions when you steam everything

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    7 points Amdvoiceofreason

    We have the same brain, literally was just about to type that 😂

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    2 points Helpful-Relation7037

    Shit I just commented that without scrolling down 😔

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  • 524 points MerryBerryMudskipper

    That.... Is not pizza. IDK what it is but it's not pizza

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    149 points blade_torlock

    Calzone with extra steps.

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    97 points Geoff_Uckersilf

    No. Calzone is folded, a folded pizza. This is like a pastry silver dinner warmer with a shitty steamed soggy 'pizza' inside. 

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    66 points LeticiaLatex

    The puddle of shit inside looks so soggy

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    41 points we_decwonw_care

    I was intrigued and then they opened it and I was horrified

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    10 points HPTM2008

    You mean the soup? It's minestrone, right? Because that's not pizza.

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    20 points blade_torlock

    Steamed pizza toppings and uncooked dough. The extra steps was alluding to same, same but different.

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    8 points GrimbyJ

    The dough looks cooked. It's just wet because the ingredients release water that usually evaporates.

    Cooked but already soggy

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    2 points Von_Cheesebiscuit

    So, same but shitty?

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    3 points Beto_Targaryen

    Steamed pizza? And you say it’s a from upstate New York? Well I’m from Utica and I never heard of steamed pizza

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    3 points Tr3mb1e

    This sentence is verbatim what I was thinking when they opened that disgrace

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    2 points SeeShark

    Same here, word-for-word lol

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    7 points Forthe49ers

    Looked like uncooked pizza ingredients on a cracker

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    2 points MySkinIsFallingOff

    Hey now, no need to get racial.

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    2 points MambaMentality24x2

    That just makes me want to unleash every Italian curse I know… yes, please cover it back up

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  • 465 points baseballbear

    if you serve me steamed toppings on pizza I'm calling the cops

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    100 points AbbreviationsNo4089

    r/pizzacrimes

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    2 points rabbot

    That's where I thought I was at first lol

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    2 points Inquisitive_idiot

    Shit that place made me mad 🚬 

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    49 points juan_humano

    What, you dont like canned black olives and 1 inch cubes of deli ham on your pizza?

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    3 points Lucy_Koshka

    Olives soggier than they were out of the can? Sweaty meat cubes? Half the crust sopping wet and the other half drier than the saltines in the furthest corner of your great grandma’s pantry?

    Count me in.

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    4 points raspberryharbour

    Patented Skinner Pizza, old family recipe

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    3 points ColliePullHour

    They should have popped it back it the oven for awhile after they cut the top layer into four.

    Let the diners see the opening process at their table and eat the top layer with a dip as a starter. 

    Then bring the pizza back to the oven or salamander/blowtorch it before serving it to the table again. 

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    16 points blahhhhgosh

    They should have just made a regular pizza.... no way is this ever gonna be very good esp not better than a regular pizza

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    5 points DrSFalken

    But why do all of that? What's the point of opening it? It doesnt provide any extra interest to the final product (like cracking the top of a Creme Brulee and getting the crunch when you take a bite)

    It's also not interesting in and of itself... we've all seen steam before. Idk, I'm sure your solution would help but it's just a ton of work.

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    4 points Von_Cheesebiscuit

    Sorry, but nothing within your suggestion is making this shitty balloon pizza garbage any more appealing. I'm not interested in dipping shitty dough cracker in a dip, and returning that lame-ass steamed topping fiasco to the oven or blowtorch browning it, is going to improve it to an acceptable level.

    Please just give me a proper fucking pizza. Lol

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    2 points MyCatsOwnMyLife

    LOL, fr, all this work for a topping like this.

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  • 75 points Timmeh-toah

    At least he’s not using a straw and his mouth this time.

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    12 points Hiphopapocalyptic

    But the Zyn undertones really tied it all together

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    2 points Strange-Credit2038

    Which post did that happen in?

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    2 points TTT_2k3

    Came for this comment.

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    2 points s_n_mac

    Exactly what I was thinking!

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  • 49 points DuchessofShinies

    This is just a calzone but stupid

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    2 points lilium_1986

    yep I was on board if the inside looked good but nah

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  • 118 points samanime

    On the one hand, I kind of like it. I think it's neat.

    On the other hand, this is absolutely stupid food and probably the worst possible way to make a pizza. The actual pizza part is basically steamed instead of baked, which is awful. None of that delicious Maillard reaction on the meat and toppings that makes pizza so tasty.

    Maybe if you didn't use this technique for pizza and instead made something that is normally steamed in the first place, it could make something great.

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    33 points Cautious-Activity706

    The methodology is very interesting. I would like to see what else they can make. Something in the vein of a Tandoori Chicken might be good

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    20 points Impeachcordial

    Like a filled balloon naan kind of thing 

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    2 points rvralph803

    Isn't that just paratha?

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    8 points Healthy_Bat_6708

    eating that looks kind of like an ordeal too even if whats inside was appropriate

    now if they do this but more bite sized and serve it like a crunchy steamed bun that could be a cute party snack

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    6 points Von_Cheesebiscuit

    I agree with you, the idea is cool, just not for pizza.

    Do this for a nice piece of steamed fish and vegetables, then it could be very cool, like an en papillote. But please stop fucking up puzza.

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  • 28 points a_n_d_r_e_

    Boiled ingredients on dough. It looks sad.

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  • 11 points squeddles

    Wish I hadn't seen the inside of it

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    2 points markofthecheese

    I gasped.

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  • 9 points Beginning_Purple_579

    So a Calzone but worse? 

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  • 17 points Da_Punisher33

    That looks dry af

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    8 points borgilia

    Dry on the outside juicy dough on the inside

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    8 points TribalTommy

    Imagine munching through that dry crusty bread.

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    24 points OddCook4909

    To get to the soggy, flavorless, steamed ingredients and soggy ass crust on the bottom. I don't even want to try this

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    5 points Da_Punisher33

    Can I get some sauce at least?

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    3 points Scottamus

    Best we can do is squirt some oil on it.

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  • 13 points juicy_jonny

    Why bother smushing it back down? That kind of ruins the whole point

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    11 points madncqt

    probably to soak up the pool of wet

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    5 points KnownNormie

    It looks like he realized his mistake

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  • 4 points Agitated_Fix_3677

    SOOOO NOTHING IS CRISPY FROM THE OVEN 😡

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  • 8 points JackSpadesSI

    If it opened up to a good pizza, then the gimmick might be forgiven. But the inside of that looked like slop

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  • 10 points Soldier7sixx

    That was so disappointing

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  • 5 points Samerrrrrrrrr

    Mm dry ass crust with soggy half cooked toppings that look like vomit. Yum!!

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  • 5 points ConstructionPrize206

    Yeah, cover that sheet right back up.

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  • 3 points rvralph803

    Those toppings look vomitous

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  • 9 points twnknmy

    Demogorgon

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    6 points Villageidiot73

    Demogorgonzola

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  • 3 points paulerxx

    On what planet is that pizza?

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  • 3 points IsThisASnakeInMyBoot

    At the VERY least this is better than that viral chefclub one where he blew the air in with his mouth, filling it with his breath and mouth bacteria and saliva lmao

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  • 3 points victornb

    Terrible idea with a terrible execution, congrats

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  • 3 points TripleBCHI

    I mean at least he didn’t use his own breath like the other video

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    2 points ZuStorm93

    For anyone curious: hipster breath pizza, anyone?

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  • 3 points wowwroms

    TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA BALL

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  • 2 points Role-Fine

    Looks like a bad stuffed sopapilla

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    3 points Mental-Ask8077

    How very dare you.

    Don’t insult sopapillas like that!

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  • 2 points 7er6Nq

    Not approved 🤌

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  • 2 points chaos_geek

    Gordon Ramsey would be appalled

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    3 points Mental-Ask8077

    It’s fucking RAW!

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  • 1 points Cryogenycfreak

    It looks like they cut open the belly of a dead animal.

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  • 1 points lesupermark

    Love how they folded it back on top to hide how uncooked this was.

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  • 1 points brandt-money

    That's just cloud bread with random crap inside. This bread is so good on its own though.

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  • 1 points ZombieOnMeth

    looks shitty af, why are poeple doing such things?

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  • 1 points Beginning_Purple_579

    Yummy, a Shitzone. (Hope someone understands what Im trying to say here) 

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  • 1 points tiffany_says_this

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  • 1 points Kralgore

    Ballzoone.

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  • 1 points BluebirdFast3963

    This should just be a pull-apart thing, where there is pizza dip in the middle. Not an actual pizza. It would make more sense and be better. A cheese and marina / meat dipping sauce in the bottom and you and you friends can rip at it and dip.

    No ones ganna want that extra top dough.

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  • 1 points The_God_Of_Darkness_

    It's fine but not a pizza. Not even close to a pizza. It probably never even saw any pictures of pizzas.

    But it's interesting and not that expensive or complicated for adding whatever it adds.

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  • 1 points Dolch0812

    looks raw

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  • 1 points NoPantsDeLeon

    Fartzone

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  • 1 points GrandmasBoyToy69

    That pizza cutter has to be annoying to clean, especially if the cheese/ sauce hardens up

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  • 1 points HereForTheBoos1013

    Nothing prepared me for the inside of that monstrosity. Thought it was just going to be a boring, if steamed, pizza.

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  • 1 points HyperGR1NDZ

    Pizza pot pie

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  • 1 points Alex_AU_gt

    As bad as expected...

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  • 1 points overseer07

    You know it's good because the chef is wearing a vest and tie!!

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  • 1 points Axedelic

    at least he used an air pump instead of blowing in it with a straw. so many of those videos they do that.

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  • 1 points Grymare

    So you literally PUMP air into it just to press it all down away in the end? This is just stupid.

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  • 1 points tlh6678

    Yea go ahead and cover that back up

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  • 1 points _CaptainKaladin_

    Why is it… slimy?

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  • 1 points Sitting_Duk

    Mmmm, extra wet

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  • 1 points Captain_R33fer

    Just a calzone but way worse ?

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  • 1 points adiffkind

    i don't think this is shitty food material. is it weird? yeah. is it PROBABLY just worse than a calzone? yeah. is it shitty? not really... i'd give it a go!

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  • 1 points KnoxenBox

    Nobody wants to see the inside of a stromboli. May taste great, looks like all hell. This is the same thing with a bicycle pump thrown into the mix.b

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  • 1 points SmartSmella

    facehugger egg what the fuck

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  • 1 points MaadMaanMaatt

    Neat. You ruined a calzone.

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  • 1 points Organic-Serve6834

    When they opened it I expected Sigourney Weaver to pop up and flamethrower it.....

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  • 1 points BlaqueBarbie

    I would RAGE .

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  • 1 points Strude187

    I loved the reveal, it looked so pathetic.

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  • 1 points KeesKachel88

    W.A.P.

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  • 1 points jess-plays-games

    He took a calzone and made it worse in every way

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  • 1 points Marsupialize

    Steamed hams

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  • 1 points MrImBoredAgain

    Yep. This one wins the sub. Wtf is this dumb ass shit

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  • 1 points Potatozeng

    no, it'e roasted boob

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  • 1 points VikingDadStream

    Ok. That kinda owns tbh

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  • 1 points BoringPollution2703

    At the end of the vid, around 4 seconds left, you can see it looks like he's wrapping it back up to throw in the chef's face.

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  • 1 points No_Cupcake7037

    Looks really liquidy…

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  • 1 points waldolc

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  • 1 points The_Lord_of_Defiance

    That’s not even pizza

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  • 1 points WetFawter

    Pizza pimple

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  • 1 points roguecolor

    Ah yes. Some premium air pizza! That’ll be $60!

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  • 1 points I_am_a_wave

    oh look, that's Demogorgon if he has a shitty pizza

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  • 1 points MutedBrilliant1593

    That's a fancy cracker.

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  • 1 points School_North

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  • 1 points heavenlyhash333

    Everyone knows the best part of the pizza is the huge fucking air pocket full of nothing!

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  • 1 points hubbusubbu

    So much effort and then the toppings look so sad.

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  • 1 points Little_Capital_2251

    So, I think this could be done well. I don’t like the execution, but this could be good

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  • 1 points uglyinspanish

    how does it look so much worse than I could imagine on the inside?

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  • 1 points cataclysmic_orbit

    It looks like soup

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  • 1 points dameyen_maymeyen

    At least this one isn’t blowing it up with his mouth.

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  • 1 points Schnitzelbub13

    you pay other people to pretentiously play with your food

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  • 1 points WalkerIsTheBest

    If you removed the pizza part of this and just brought me a thin, puffy balloon cracker and whacked it with a hammer at the table? That would have been something fun and cool. This is just steamed pizza? With a cracker on top of everything.

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  • 1 points Chemical-Cat

    At least it wasn't inflated with a guy's mouth through a straw like a few I've seen

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