Yup. There’s no actual reason for them to continue to make this aside from stubbornness. They simply refuse to admit it was a terrible fucking idea in the first place because they need something to be proud of in that godforsaken town.
Especially since the second best locomotive shop in the country stopped making steam engines (Baldwin of Philadelphia is best) and NS recently gutted their remaining staff
I'm pretty sure no one in Altoona eats Altoona pizza. Did they offer to take you snipe hunting, too? That's the city's official pastime, you know. Eeeeeverybody does it, totally.
Some of them do. I have a friend from PA who grew up there and eats that shit. The first time he visited, he made it for us. He actually used real cheese and made it from scratch, it was still depressing. It's like someone got ahold of a cheese zombie and ruined it by trying to make it better.
I lived 30-40 miles from there for a decade. I only ever saw stuff like this at gas stations in the heat lamp warmer boxes. Never had anything like that intentionally if I had a choice.
Well, I've never had government cheddar. Any government cheese I had is American, and it's worse then Kraft singles
And all American cheese has to be labeled as cheese product because it's not an actual cheese, rather a blend of multiple different cheese with a bunch of added emulsifiers.
It looks like one of those slices of cheese you put in toast. And I honestly can't tell whatever or not they even remembered to peel the plastic off, considering the crumbled look.
I love Mallo Cups. My favorite uncle as a kid loved them and always bought them for us when he was in town. When I was a freshman in college I randomly got a package, a giant box of Mallo Cups, from the factory somehow. Not for resale. Along with a t shirt. No idea how he swung that. Miss you man
Yeah it’s a lot of trucking, around the area is pretty rural, and it’s less than a days drive from a lot of major cities. 99 running north and south connects to 80 going east and west which leads straight into New York City.
If you look at the left side of it there's a very distinct line where the plastic overlaps. I'm going to have to say, plastic left on the Kraft single is a VERY real possibility.
This reminds me of the Aldi american cheese. I’m not knocking Aldi, I love shopping there. But, their American cheese doesn’t melt for shit. Just kind of turns into an inflated cheese loaf.
I genuinely have no idea anymore. Like yeah it’s definitely American cheese and it does get that weird texture when it’s heated and then cooled, but also it looks like it could be that light film-like plastic. I don’t know.
It’s advertised as “cheese product” because it has additional milk and an emulsifying salt added to it to make it melt without breaking, which is considered additional “processing” in the cheese production world. All American cheese is made that way and is technically a “processed cheese product.” If it wasn’t processed in that way it would just be Cheddar or Colby cheese.
You have to ask for this by name at every place that sells it. It’s a bastardization of a pizza that used to be sold at The Altoona Hotel. The original was an acquired taste, but it was actual homemade Sicilian pizza. I’ve heard they used surplus government cheese.
It was a specialty item. This crap made with Kraft singles is embarrassing to all pizza the world over.
There is an actually-delicious version of this at the Framingham Bakery in Mass but with good ingredients vs that nasty cheese. It’s incredible when toasted and even better cold.
Woah, you're gonna need to provide a name. I've thought of driving to PA before to try this abomination and you're telling me there's a tasty version 20 min away?!
*edit I just realized the name is The Framingham Bakery 🤦🏻♂️
Looks like Dino’s. I used to work there and we sold a good bit of it. So to clarify it’s not THAT popular but sold enough to warrant having it. It tastes weird. Like a grilled cheese threw up on a pizza. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever eaten but it legit just tastes like a grilled cheese on Sicilian pizza.
This reminds of the school lunch pizza my high school used to serve! It wasnt bad by any means to me personally, just more of a super at home style to it.
That looks like the ‘pizza bun’ we had in high school cafeteria for lunch. Leftover spaghetti sauce from the day before, and buns from burgers 2 days before, and a half of a slice of melted Kraft ‘cheese food’ (whatever tf that was). Sadly, it was the best thing they served.
This looks like 29th street and yeah.. I got 3 slices last year ate one and it was whack. Took the rest home split them in half horizontally to use the bottom half as a lid and made grilled cheese out of them. Still kinda whack, but honestly a mid tier grilled cheese. I hear some bars out there have better versions that I’m still willing to entertain lol
It’s Altoona style. It’s definitely different compared to a lot of the varying pizza styles. I doubt it’s going to catch on and be served widely outside of Altoona. Apparently they like it there as a few mom and pop shops serve it along side what the rest of us consider pizza. I would like to try it as I love trying all the different styles of pizza, preferably in the city’s they originate but sometimes I’ll take as physically close as I get.
"Excuse me, waiter? Yeah, do you guys sell human pizza here, or do you only sell what i'd feed to my dog to get them to take their pills? 'Just dog pill pizza'? Got it, thanks."
When i was young we were kinda pour so my mom would make lil pizzas with slices of bread, ketchup, oregano, and shredded cheese. Id eat that before this shit any day. An american slice is crazy.
Went to Pitt, and thought they had bad pizza. Friends from Greensburg and Altoona took us to get their favorite pizza. It made me much more appreciative of the mediocre pizza in Pittsburgh.
The one was sweet. Like they made it with crescent rolls, added sugar to the marinara, and topped it with white American cheese. Terrible.
u/FuriNorm, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!
Ok, what's under the cheese? Are those peppers? This looks like bread with government cheese melted on top.
It’s a slice of half-cooked green bell pepper. Altoona “pizza” is an atrocity.
I've cooked pizza for 800 school kids on an extremely tight budget before, and it wasn't this bad.
I had "pizza" in a county jail in Indiana that was much better than this abomination.
Damn. They feed prisoners pizza in the us.
Yeah but only cuz theres agricultural subsidies for the corn syrup in the sauce and crust and imitation cheese product.
We know toooo much
Toilet pizza
Yup. There’s no actual reason for them to continue to make this aside from stubbornness. They simply refuse to admit it was a terrible fucking idea in the first place because they need something to be proud of in that godforsaken town.
Especially since the second best locomotive shop in the country stopped making steam engines (Baldwin of Philadelphia is best) and NS recently gutted their remaining staff
I'm pretty sure no one in Altoona eats Altoona pizza. Did they offer to take you snipe hunting, too? That's the city's official pastime, you know. Eeeeeverybody does it, totally.
Some of them do. I have a friend from PA who grew up there and eats that shit. The first time he visited, he made it for us. He actually used real cheese and made it from scratch, it was still depressing. It's like someone got ahold of a cheese zombie and ruined it by trying to make it better.
Whoa, your avatar made me think I was in kitchen confidential for a second
I had this before kitchen confidential found it!
Chives chives chives.
See you tomorrow, chef!
I lived 30-40 miles from there for a decade. I only ever saw stuff like this at gas stations in the heat lamp warmer boxes. Never had anything like that intentionally if I had a choice.
Snipe hunting? Are you sure they don't go cow tipping instead?
This ain’t even government cheddar, it’s “American sandwich slices” since it doesn’t even meet the criteria to be called cheese
Well, I've never had government cheddar. Any government cheese I had is American, and it's worse then Kraft singles
And all American cheese has to be labeled as cheese product because it's not an actual cheese, rather a blend of multiple different cheese with a bunch of added emulsifiers.
This is the second time I've shared this link in the last week or so, so I guess I'm this guy now.Pasteurized Process Cheese is not the same as Pasteurized Process Cheese Food is not the same as Pasteurized Process American Slices
Thank you for sharing! That was a fun read!
Looks like disgusting shit passed off as pizza we ate at school. Canned spaghetti and plastic cheese
At least that shitty "cheese" was "mozzarella".
Yeah, better than liquid cheese or cheese out of a can I suppose
Don't say that I'm front of people from St Louis
I'll say it extra loud for them:
YOUR KETCHUP & GOVT CHEESE BREAD ISN'T PIZZA!
Government cheese is actually real American cheese. OP looks like the budget fake American.
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Government cheese is actually high quality cheddar cheese.
I think you mean American cheese
How do people not know this? This myth that government cheese is shitty cheese is really common. I'd put it up against Tillamook any day.
I thought that GOVT CHEESE was more like Velveeta
Pretty sure it's a lizard
It looks like one of those slices of cheese you put in toast. And I honestly can't tell whatever or not they even remembered to peel the plastic off, considering the crumbled look.
an Alien
Looks like someone ripped the hood ornament off of a Benz.
More like an Altoona Melt 🤭
Goddamnit, have my upvote.
The second worst thing Altoona has done to this country.
You guys. I love Sheetz.
I was just playing, because Sheetz is the only other thing I could think of that came from Altoona.
Mallo Cups are from there
Malo is Spanish for “bad”
Yes, but what does "mallo" mean?
baad
In italian it's the name of the walnut fruit's pulp
I love Mallo Cups. My favorite uncle as a kid loved them and always bought them for us when he was in town. When I was a freshman in college I randomly got a package, a giant box of Mallo Cups, from the factory somehow. Not for resale. Along with a t shirt. No idea how he swung that. Miss you man
Ahhh see I’m a cynical bastard and my mind went to human trafficking.
Holy shit, I didn't know about the human trafficking. Jesus.
Yeah it’s a lot of trucking, around the area is pretty rural, and it’s less than a days drive from a lot of major cities. 99 running north and south connects to 80 going east and west which leads straight into New York City.
Sheetz is the greatest place ever
I used to think that until I went to a Quik Trip in SC that was like a Sheetz on steroids!
wait til you see Buc-ees.
https://buc-ees.com/
Wrong again, I’ll be at Wawa
I have it saved on my Google maps! One day ..
I heard I've got to try their brisket
Get Luigi mangione arrested ?
This is what I thought was meant
What's the first? Sheetz?
Where’s a health insurance CEO when you need one?
Hey that’s where I get my chili dogs
Same. I love me some cheap Sheetz chili cheese dogs.
I like to get the brat and have them chilify it. Onions and mustard. Not bad.
Is that when they dunk it in cold water before adding to the bun? Because...
Slop ‘em up
Isn’t the blizzard came from there that made bill murray stay in Groundhog Day?
Didn’t he insist that the blizzard that hit Punxsutawney wasn’t actually a blizzard and that the real blizzard went to Altoona?
See.. the blizzard isn’t a blizzard. Just a couple flakes
It’s also where Luigi was turned in
Don't you dare malign Sheetz! 🤣
For Sheetz sake!
I'll fight anyone that trash talks sheetz
No, my ex.
It's Todd
What’s the worst?
Someone forgot to take the plastic off
That's actually how the cheese looks when you melt it sometimes. It might just be made of plastic and "cheese".
“Cheese food” for legal reasons.
It's what you feed cheese to keep it fresh.
It might be “cheese product”? Seems pretty bold to call that “food” 😅🤣
If you look at the left side of it there's a very distinct line where the plastic overlaps. I'm going to have to say, plastic left on the Kraft single is a VERY real possibility.
Have you had a Kraft single? The cheese is molded to the plastic seam, the seam stays imprinted on the cheese
This reminds me of the Aldi american cheese. I’m not knocking Aldi, I love shopping there. But, their American cheese doesn’t melt for shit. Just kind of turns into an inflated cheese loaf.
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I genuinely have no idea anymore. Like yeah it’s definitely American cheese and it does get that weird texture when it’s heated and then cooled, but also it looks like it could be that light film-like plastic. I don’t know.
I have no idea, I'm banking hard it was microwaved though. It cools weird but not like that lol.
It looks like those individually wrapped Kraft singles. That's advertised as "cheese product."
Real deli style American cheese doesn't melt like that.
Kraft has really ruined the perception of American cheese worldwide.
James Kraft patented the process to create the good stuff too, so it's a mixed lagacy
It’s advertised as “cheese product” because it has additional milk and an emulsifying salt added to it to make it melt without breaking, which is considered additional “processing” in the cheese production world. All American cheese is made that way and is technically a “processed cheese product.” If it wasn’t processed in that way it would just be Cheddar or Colby cheese.
You have to ask for this by name at every place that sells it. It’s a bastardization of a pizza that used to be sold at The Altoona Hotel. The original was an acquired taste, but it was actual homemade Sicilian pizza. I’ve heard they used surplus government cheese. It was a specialty item. This crap made with Kraft singles is embarrassing to all pizza the world over.
Can you share the name so that I don’t accidentally say it if I’m ever in Altoona?
I had to look it up but one menu said “Altoona style”
There is an actually-delicious version of this at the Framingham Bakery in Mass but with good ingredients vs that nasty cheese. It’s incredible when toasted and even better cold.
Hey, nifty, I was born in Framingham!
That nasty cheese is a staple ingredient though
Woah, you're gonna need to provide a name. I've thought of driving to PA before to try this abomination and you're telling me there's a tasty version 20 min away?!
*edit I just realized the name is The Framingham Bakery 🤦🏻♂️
there are some odd pizza styles.
there is one that they cook the pizza but don't put any cheese or toppings on it until after. so the cheese and toppings are served cold on the pizza.
i think its from ohio near pennsvlvania.
does it have a ringworm
Believe it or not jail
r/pizzacrimes
I can't look at it.
NY 🤝 Chicago
This is an abomination
I didn't believe this was real, so I looked it up. This is in fact Altoona style pizza. The recipe was created around 1950 at the Altoona Hotel.
The 50s were a truly cursed time in American cuisine. At least the pizza isn't suspended in aspic
This is why Luigi went there, to stop another of society’s evils
Didn’t they just reference Altoona Pizza in Ghosts?
Looks like what they served in the grade school cafeteria
this was mentioned on Ghosts, I thought they made up “Altoona style pizza”… the more you know
Looks like Dino’s. I used to work there and we sold a good bit of it. So to clarify it’s not THAT popular but sold enough to warrant having it. It tastes weird. Like a grilled cheese threw up on a pizza. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever eaten but it legit just tastes like a grilled cheese on Sicilian pizza.
Having been to Altoona, I am neither surprised nor upset. Altoona is as American as it gets.
😂
Haha did you watch the newest Ghost episode?
My stomach is weak
Knees weak arms are heavy
I've never seen this myself and I live 45 minutes away from Altoona. I've only ever heard of it from posts on here.
So I assure you people that it's just Altoona doing this weird shit. It's very rare outside of there 😂
In my City that’s an offense punishable by 25-life
Did you call the police?
Hey Altoona, Pennsylvania. Everything alright? You guys mentally well? Something you wanna talk about?
Isn't that the land of the Luigi snitch? Suffer with your shit pizza
This is a straight up food crime
This reminds of the school lunch pizza my high school used to serve! It wasnt bad by any means to me personally, just more of a super at home style to it.
Who’s Al Tuna?
That's actually the name of one of their AA baseball mascots.
That looks like the ‘pizza bun’ we had in high school cafeteria for lunch. Leftover spaghetti sauce from the day before, and buns from burgers 2 days before, and a half of a slice of melted Kraft ‘cheese food’ (whatever tf that was). Sadly, it was the best thing they served.
This looks like 29th street and yeah.. I got 3 slices last year ate one and it was whack. Took the rest home split them in half horizontally to use the bottom half as a lid and made grilled cheese out of them. Still kinda whack, but honestly a mid tier grilled cheese. I hear some bars out there have better versions that I’m still willing to entertain lol
TIL theres a city in Pennsylvania named after one of my hometowns districts (Altona/Hamburg)
It’s Altoona style. It’s definitely different compared to a lot of the varying pizza styles. I doubt it’s going to catch on and be served widely outside of Altoona. Apparently they like it there as a few mom and pop shops serve it along side what the rest of us consider pizza. I would like to try it as I love trying all the different styles of pizza, preferably in the city’s they originate but sometimes I’ll take as physically close as I get.
Wouldn't call it pizza but I ate worse so, not too bad
Is there a Pennsylvania country?
Looks like high school pizza squares.
American cheese should be illegal
Looks like a late night college stoner feast.
At least they melted the cheese for you, last time I was in Canonsburg they didn’t melt the cheese on top of the pepperoni lol
Hate all you want.
Processed Cheese Singles absolutely have a place on CERTAIN kinds of pizza.
I got a cheeseburger pizza from a local NY style Pizzeria one time, not realizing it would have the singles. I was grossed out.
But they actually really worked.
Altoona sucks !
It’s great. Was a treat once in a while.
This is one reason why Pittsburgh and Philly have no respect for the rest of the state
Altoona is known for two things - its shitty, shitty pizza and its massive dirty rat problem.
"Excuse me, waiter? Yeah, do you guys sell human pizza here, or do you only sell what i'd feed to my dog to get them to take their pills? 'Just dog pill pizza'? Got it, thanks."
Ok that is truly heinous.
I mean it does technically meet the requirements
In Italy this would be considered assisted suicide.
Pepper from Lego Island 2 would never stand for this atrocity
Is the other piece a white pizza with ham and pineapple? That just adds insult to injury
My appetite just disappeared.
Gross
You paid money for this?
Seems like the cook wanted to add something special to a frozen pizza.
This is a crime
TIL that Al Toon may or may not have been born in Altoona
Fucking gross
Where's my fork?
Wtf is wrong with you people
I remember making pizza bread at home when we were kids just like the photo… From South Jersey.
That must be where my elementary school got its pizza recipe from.
My phone screen had a cat hair on it and for a sec it looked even weirder
TIL deez nuts
When i was young we were kinda pour so my mom would make lil pizzas with slices of bread, ketchup, oregano, and shredded cheese. Id eat that before this shit any day. An american slice is crazy.
Pathetic
Oh hell naw, this worst than school lunch
Wtf.
Vile
At least it's not what they make in stuebenville
Green peppers are being held hostage
Is the crust made with Bisquick? I remember that from my childhood.
Boss I’m tired as shit
That’s not a pizza. That’s a violation of the Geneva Conventions, the Magna Carta, the Sokovian Accords and the Antarctic Treaty all rolled into one.
How do you do the cross post for r/pizzacrimes?
I have a feeling this isn’t the whole story because a much more typical slice seems to be right next to it.
There’s a more “traditional” slice to the right… is this some specialty- or just a joke?
No. I don’t respect your culture.
We have something similar here in new Zealand only is on sliced white bread. Called a mouse trap.
God I hate the people in that city so much (use to live in Holidaysburg -_-)
Did you call the police?
No.
This looks like what 14 year old self would call pizza at 2am nearing the tail end of 16 hour gaming session
Send it back
OIP too in coal region. Hobutt represent!!
Heresy
Seems like something from Altoona
Mama Mia!!
Went to Pitt, and thought they had bad pizza. Friends from Greensburg and Altoona took us to get their favorite pizza. It made me much more appreciative of the mediocre pizza in Pittsburgh.
The one was sweet. Like they made it with crescent rolls, added sugar to the marinara, and topped it with white American cheese. Terrible.
Did they even take the plastic off?
That is a crime
Ngl I’d smash
Pardon me, I believe I just pooped in your pants.
That’s considered an insult where I’m from. And it wouldn’t be taken kindly
r/pizzacrimes