I'm gen X and I'm really sad reading this comment, and all the others. I really feel like you've been let down by society and I'm sorry. My youth was spent doing whatever I wanted, my boomer parents didn't care, I had very little boundaries and had a lot of both fun and danger. I'm so sad that isn't the case for gen Z, you don't deserve to have it this way.
It’s also the introduction and normalization of the internet. When I was 4-10 years old I didn’t even think about having a phone and when I got a flip phone at 13 I didn’t even realize internet was really an option. Nowadays 10 year olds are being handed iPhones and basically exposed to the full horrors of the world non stop from a very young age. It’s a totally different expectation and a totally different reality from when we were kids.
I've only had 2 do so. One stood me up on the date she'd planned and only messaged after I'd been waiting in the line for the place for around an hour to say she had thought it wasn'ton anymore because I hadn't messaged her again to confirm the day before. And then blocked me when I suggested rescheduling since I would be in the area for a while.
The other was open that she was looking for a fling before she flew out the next day. I'm actually quite sad about this one since she was very kind, accepting, and turned out to have similar hobbies to me, but she lives on the other side of the world to me so I may not ever get to see her again.
I got asked out one time when I was a teenager by a girl that came to where I worked. We went out. I thought it went great. Never heard from her for maybe two years. Walked in to a friend's party that had a bunch of randos and she was there. Such a small world. Still never got that second date 🤣.
I’m turning 30 and had a rough go of things in my 20s. Make great money now like to think i have a nice personality but just missed a huge part of finding relationships due to hardship/trauma/etc.
Haven’t played around since I was 21 since my self worth took a dive from all those issues and just not sure how to get back into it. Hell even then most of the initiative was from other girls asking me out and me just reciprocating.
I was pretty much OK with living my life alone. I just never pondered about neither troubled myself with thinking that something was wrong, that having spent so many years alone wasn't OK. Really, I felt nothing, but...
One day I woke up feeling desperate and horrified. Literally, I went to bed to sleep one day and I was feeling OK, but I woke up the next day in full despair. Did it all come to me in a dream? I don't know, but I was 32/33 and I finally realized that something was wrong and so many years of emotional detachment was atypical and bizarre. Got sad and then depressed.
I went to see a psychiatrist, then a psychologist, to try and understand what had gotten me into such a situation and how to get out of it. As a grown man I had to learn how to do things I should have learned much earlier in my life. How to talk to a girl? How to ask one out? How to do this and that? Worse yet, I'd have to "practice" with women of my age, who would more often than not notice I had no experience. I never felt more pathetic and alone in my life.
Luckily, with time, I found someone, a true soulmate, my now wife, who had also shut herself emotionally and we helped each other out, shared thoughts and burdens, and we've been together for 16 years.
I guess I’ve been kind of the same way. My psychiatrist has tried to get me to be more open to relationships but it’s difficult to look at my life in that way.
Not a lot of self care going on when you don’t think of yourself as a person due to things you did in the past.
I mean, let's be real. Since 2010 or so, dating is online dating for every generation. I'd be surprised if more than 20% of couples first meet IRL these days.
I have my criticisms of Gen Z. But this isn't one of them. It's all of us.
Be funny, be kind, be unavailable. Eventually one will hook you; however, you’ll have long droughts in between successes and no control of who picks you. It’s a blessing and a curse.
I have been told by several Gen-Z women that it's never okay to approach a woman you don't know (or even mildly familiar with) and me even considering it as an option is concerning because red pill and approaching objectifies women. They said the only way it should be done is by developing a friendship over the course of months (or even longer), even if you are running the risk of your time being wasted if she says no. Oh, and it's also a problem if my hobbies are male dominated... I'm a guy. Of course what I like to do is going to lean male oriented.
My sisters on the other hand have verbalized their troubles just getting asked out. One finally has a stable boyfriend after years of waiting for guys to ask her on dates or not feeling it after a date or two. They've also not been interested in a relationship with many of the guys in their friend groups whom they've known for months or even years.
So what the hell am I supposed to do? If I don't dedicate a lot of time to become friends with a woman before making any move, I'm potentially an incel creep. If I do, I'm putting one egg in my basket and I've lost months of time on the good chance it doesn't hatch.
I'm not saying at all that having friendships with women is a waste of time, but they're saying you need to be already firmly established with a woman before trying anything.
I can't eat cake, I can't have cake. It seems like the best I can do is look at cake from image search results and read feel good Bestofredditorupdates posts.
Edit: The best option seems to be get really hot, so that's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to light myself on fire and see if I can't attract women like moths to a flame. After I get out of the hospital, it's 50/50 whether women will come talk to me out of pity, or if they'll keep their distance depending on how much and where I'm burned. Either way, improvement. /s
Nononono, you don't understand. As the man, it's your responsibility to approach and initiate everything. And plan all the dates. And pay for all the dates. And carry every single conversation. And buy expensive gifts. And vacations. And anything else she decides she needs to see if you're a good provider. She has to do the hard work of showing up and deciding whether or not you're sufficiently impressive.
As the wisdom goes, confidence can only emerge if one has had constant positive feedback. If you are constantly bullied in school, your teachers and parents don't do anything, you cannot suddenly cast "confidence" on to yourself and be confident
Stop asking women for dating advice. Seriously. They do not have your best interests in mind. Those same Gen Z women who told you never to approach won’t care if you die alone in 50 years having never found romantic love.
Go ask a guy who has a current or several past successful relationships what works. I hate to use that old trope, but stop asking a fish how to get caught and ask a fisherman.
Cold approach works. Asking out acquaintances/classmates works. Getting set up by friends works. Asking out coworkers works.
The one thing that doesn’t work is waiting for a relationship to fall into your lap. It might be 2025 and we might have come along way in terms of intergender dynamics, but girls on average still don’t want to make the first move and still find guys taking initiative incredibly attractive.
Didn't women have that app (Bumble?) where they could control who messages them by making it so they have to initiate the conversation with guys they like?
But then too few women liked that, so they changed that feature and now it's basically the same as Tinder.
I remember that app. For all the women on tinder who complain about guys who start a conversation with "hey" that is the only thing they EVER stated conversations with on bumble, and then expected you to have some drawn out poignant response. Thank got I get my partner the old fashioned way, being set up by a friend.
Your first paragraph is so funny to me. I remember 15 years ago when "the friendzone doesn't exist!" was their go-to response. Now they want to lead guys on and create the exact situation that causes these guys to say they have been put in the friend zone: hours upon hours of emotional investment and not even a single date to show for it.
To make a blanket statement: Guys are usually pretty logical and straightforward. We like to follow rules. Most of us don't care what the rules are, as long as it's demonstrated that we will succeed if we follow those rules. There's nothing wrong with befriending women, but to make that a requirement of the normal dating experience is exhausting and will burn men out. Sooner or later they're gonna decide to just stay single and avoid talking to women altogether, since there's no proof their effort will be rewarded.
(Just an observation from a gay man who has no skin in the straight dating game)
I see so many posts on either /r/askmen or just any advice sub of whether it’s okay to approach a coworker. Most would say don’t shit where you eat but a very large percentage of peoples relationships started at work/their office. Then on the flip side there’s tons of posts by women asking why don’t men approach anymore.
Meanwhile I’ve approached and I see many men especially Gen Z men approach out at bars and I’m wondering where are these people hiding that don’t approach?
Outside of bars, many men avoid approaching otherwise. Bars are socially acceptable and it’s a mate-seeking target rich environment. Get denied? Get lost in the crowd and move onto the next one.
Approach at gym? Creep. She’s just trying to workout in peace
Approach at the coffee shop? Creep. She’s just trying to work on an important email or read a book in peace
Try to approach on a sidewalk? Creep. What are you doing? Trying to sexually assault her when she’s just trying to walk to a destination?
Approach at a park? Creep. What are you trying to do? Kidnap her?
Approach at a grocery store? Why ruin your 5 minute grocery shop by getting denied stuck between Gertrude, Ethel, and Theodore where they can trap you and watch your humiliation in real time.
All that being said, many women also want to be approached in these places.
All you gotta do is make sure you are attractive specifically to the woman you’re approaching in hopes you don’t end up viral on social media as a creep.
TLDR: shitting where you eat is not worth the risk if you’re in a career you enjoy. Consistent paychecks are more important than going after the cute girl at work; especially since HR, much like courts of law, favor women over men. Learn to take rejection. Show interest, but be brief. Know you’ll get rejected far more than you’ll get a yes. Don’t let constant rejection ruin your self esteem. Eventually you’ll find a woman interested in a date
ULTRATLDR: bars are far easier, but finding husband or wife material is less likely. Find peace in a God you believe in and/or masturbate more for internal serenity
This is so sad. I’m a millennial and have fond memories of people asking me out, even if it weren’t nowhere. One was a guy at target who approached me and gracefully commented on my looks then said he’d kick himself later if he didn’t try to ask me on a date. We only had one forgettable date, but I felt so attractive that day and will always remember it. I have other memories like this too.
I also have memories of being approached in uncomfortable or pushy ways, or being belittled for saying no. Don’t do that please.
I think it's true. If you are taught as a kid that your presence is threatening to women on any context, then it's obvious to expect something like this. Kids don't want no trouble. I wouldn't either.
Or other bad things. I was at my gym and saw this kid (likely in his 20s) compliment a girls shoes and ask her what type they were.
Suddenly, another guy, presumably her boyfriend (in his late 20s or 30s) comes running around and starts shouting at the kid. The kid backs off saying he didnt mean anything he was just asking about the shoe.
The boyfriend takes the girls hands to lead her away while shouting "fuck off" loudly enough for the whole gym to hear, pointing at the kid.
1) I am pretty sure that girl is an abusive relationship
2) I doubt that kid is making small talk with another girl anytime soon.
3) Lets just say I am glad things were better in my times.
Women want, giant hairy dude, rippling huge unnatural muscle, 7'2" who yells at her and everyone else. Massive anger issues and is a manchild that she can "fix."
Who is also filthy rich and has a literal mansion full of servants and gives her anything she wants when he isnt yelling at her.
Also, he's a total stalker and won't let her leave his mansion. He's totally obsessed with her, but also goes through devastating mood swings and has the IQ of a wet paper bag when it comes to problem solving.
Can confirm,You can be acused of sexual harassment even if you do nothing. Had a new trainee at work a few years go flirt and hit on me multiple times, after I shut her down(and told my team lead she was making me uncomfortable with her constant advances), she tried to complain to my supervisor to get me in trouble and accuse me of harassing her, thankfully I had left a paper trail with my team lead and I was able to prove it was her harassing me. If not I probably would've lost my job. It ended with management doing nothing but moving her to a different building, while I still got a written warning for something I didn't do.
I was a temp worker once and got fired for sexual harrassment. I didn't even know who it was I supposedly harrassed. Also I'm 100% gay, so I was NOT hitting on anyone.
Even if its all a missunderstand or in her head it doesn't matter. Your guilty and screwed.
Thats the thing right? Additionally, in a world where every single thing is considered content, you just know that the "sexual harassment" would be filmed and put on socials. Potentially life ruining event all by just expressing interest.
Have you tried the old classics such as showing the slightest bit of affection to a woman with daddy issues? Looking for the ones with mental health issues? Finding a single mom of 2 children who desperately needs a dad for her kids?
Not sarcasm :
I am, idk I think at least & have always been told, above average in looks…& I’ve always gotten similar responses. Gotten fuck-off before but I figured she was just going through it. but a “cold” approach has never succeeded for me before.
however I’ll be honest in that it’s not something I go around trying for very often. I’m both introverted & someone who enjoys my solitude. I’m not someone who leaves my house for anything unless I need to, really.
The only other reason would be walking my dogs & riding my bike for exercise. Otherwise I’m an indoor boy..who’s even failed with the dog approach. LOL.
I’m also not awkward & I know how to speak quite well, though I’m not terribly funny that’s for sure. I always look at things in a more thought-provoking light & have experienced a lot of trauma that I think lends itself to overthinking way more than lightheartedness.
Only mentioning these things cus I’m sure someone will say “well obviously you probably can’t socialize since you’re so introverted & stay inside all the time”. Oh, I also make good $. So that’s not it either. Oh oh, I also care immensely about my fashion! I don’t care about brand names whatsoever but I have a shitload of jewelry, 3 closets-full of nice well-kept clothes & I LOVE my style. I feel fly as FUCK every time I walk out, shit I feel fresh in my sweatsuits sitting inside watching anime. :) before someone else comes in with the assumption I’m unkempt too.
Bigger issue is no one can know these things about me because all attempts at getting to know someone is discouraged.
anyway, I only wanted to say this bc I know it’s not easy & hopefully wanted you to know that sometimes even being conventionally attractive isn’t enough.
I’ve felt pretty lonely - although I’m OK with it - for the last 10 years. (I’ll be 31 soon), and the “loneliness epidemic” thing resonates w me bc I’d been struggling w this issue for so long…seeing it given a name & learning loads of people struggle too surprised the shit out of me, I never would’ve assumed. Couldn’t believe how I’d be reading someone’s story & recognize it as virtually my own…& to do it dozens of times over is so sad.
For example I don’t expect I’m going to have kids despite really wanting them.
To be clear tho I’m DEF not talking about the red pill shit, I don’t think it’s women’s fault any more than men. It’s a societal shift & technology. Women are also now drilled that there’s violence & rape at every step in every day. & some of it is valid as fuck…this all to say : don’t blame women with any exclusivity.
Be careful not to let that nonsense fry your brain either .. not to condescend, no clue what you subscribe to.
And if you don't look "good enough", chances of finding matches plummet even more. The feel of infinite choice and lookism-based app design means minority of attractive people gain vast majority of likes/matches, while the bottom majority gets breadcrumbs.
Because Gen Z have heard all their lives women angrily complaining about how much they hate men in our society, and guys are left with the impression that approaching a woman romantically is harassment. Gen Z is experiencing the other end of the pendulum swing.
I sympathize with women wanting less harassment and less overtly sexual attention from men who aren't even interested in you as a person. Absolutely. But, the resentment has been directed toward ALL men, not just the minority of harassers.
This wouldn't be a problem if women actually asked men out more ... that would be a better solution for everyone ... but most women of every generation including Gen Z are way too afraid to risk rejection. So, when combined with the shift to socializing online rather than in-person, there's just much less coupling happening.
100% men would be suspicious and would look for a camera / smartphone to see if they are getting livestreamed on shittok , and then the girl makes up some shit the dude is on cam and gets in trouble and she gets her likes and comments.
For the record, I grew up in the 90s and this was very much already the dynamic. As a young boy I just took cues from everyone else and assumed men were somehow evil perverts, except for a select few. Turns out, not the case. Heh.
This is reflective of a culture that has told men they are "aggressive" for trying to talk to women in real life and have real human interactions with them. As a woman, I'm disappointed, but not surprised.
Yep this exactly. Tried dating recently and was rejected every time, evem by women who approached me first. A few times I was mocked for thinking I had a chance
Im not sexist and never will be though. Im just going to stop trying and treat women like id treat any man. Distant respect.
Can you blame guys? Most are deemed either a Creep or just flat our don't want to suffer any problems or consequences. GenZ parents are from a generation that gets off hurting people.
No, I don't think gen Z is alright. I think we fucked them (not in the good way) with social media. we did bad, and should feel bad about it.
(I'm Gen X)
Sounds like a recipe for being laughed at behind the closed doors of public social media posts. Or just laughed at. On the spot.
How many girls are worth that risk? Especially when life already sucks so much for men. Look at the suicide rate(mostly men), college graduation rate(mostly women), employment rate(women now out umber men in various categories and will soon out umber men in the workforce in total), and a dozen other things by gender. A dozen or two men may be at the top, but the majority of men are now at the bottom.
There literally aren't enough men for the ladies who want to get married, and it's then men who still need to go out on a limb.
Edit: For context, I'm approaching my 8 year wedding anniversary.
Don't forget about workplace related deaths (90% Men), homelessness (70% men) and prisoners (90%-95% men).
Even homicide victims are 80% men (mostly killed by other men though)
Nope. The gender divide has gotten too stark these days. Men are scared of women falsely accusing them, and women are scared of men hurting them. We are witnessing a total collapse of trust in our society, and an increasing sense of paranoia towards everyone around us. This statistic doesn't surprise me at all
Because the term "creep" has been so ingrained in dating culture. Ask a girl out and you're not a Chad? Creep. Try to flirt with a girl and you're short? Creep. Oh, and there's also a chance it could be filmed and posted in social media for all of posterity.
I mean hell, don't dating apps also have height filters? Women irl have height preferences and it sucks because height cannot be changed and it's very doomerish
Judging a man solely based on his height is the equivalent of judging a woman by the size of her tiddies. The latter has become unacceptable in the past 30 years.
Ok 45% of guys haven't asked a girl out in real life, so what percentage have actively dated and are doing there dating through Apps? What is the difference vs other generations? Of those Genz is 13-28 so how many are just 16 or less and not really "dating"? Like once you look at the factors it's pretty easy to see this isn't an "Outrageous" stat.
I mean the apps are where you find people who are actively looking for a partner. The apps are terrible for many reasons, but Where are young people supposed to find people in “real life”. Bars are expensive and Gen z drinks less than previous generations. College is expensive and a degree is less valuable than it used to be so they are skipping that. Work?
I only started doing it this year and I turned 27 in August. Both online and in-person.
One agreed and then sent a message an hour after we were supposed to meet to say she thought it wasn't on anymore and then blocked me when I suggested we reschedule.
Everyone else in online dating either didn't reply or blocked.
In person at bars and nightclubs the path usually goes like this:
1. I notice a girl who is looking at me with clear interest and might whisper to her friend that I'm cute or handsome (I'm good at noticing certain words due to my upbringing) or she might tell me directly so I strike up a conversation.
2. The conversation is going very well and we both are enjoying each other's company.
3. (Optional step) I decide that she's genuinely interested in me too so I offer to buy her a drink.
4. Something happens and I'm ditched. Always one of the following:
- If I get her a drink she says she needs to go to the bathroom and then spends the rest of the night pretending I'm not there.
- Some other guys will come up; push between us and start interacting with her, at which point I'm largely forgotten. The first time this happened she kissed several other dudes and her last words to me were to tell me that I was the wrong ethnicity.
- her friend comes up and says something to her. At which point she goes from offering to share her drink with me or asking if I have a girlfriend; to either pretending I'm not there, or telling me to wait a moment while she joins her friend(s) who have started talking to a few other guys. Who they'll then leave with. Though I'll give the last girl credit for at least waving goodbye.
If she lets herself be distracted or literally just bails i think the conversation isn’t going as well as you think. Kind of sounds like many think you look cute but you do or say things that are uninteresting or offputting during the conversation part…
I'm just following orders man. I'm tired of the games, I'm tired of seeing women online tell men to leave them alone and fuck off. I never had a shot anyway so I never bothered. Which also has an upside, because I can't say I've ever been rejected either (insert roll safe meme).
Why fucking bother? So they can build a life of poverty together to produce homeless children. Their whole generation is cooked.
They are growing into adulthood just as AI is poised to remove the bulk of white collar jobs that pay well, houses are entirely unaffordable anywhere there is decent work, and the climate is on the edge of collapse.
They'll grow up just in time to inherit the ashes. Why would they be worried about dating in a fucking SURVIVAL situation?
A pretty big reason are the "that guy creeped me out" videos when there is just a normal dude just asking her out, his fault was that he was ugly to her, so if there's a possibility that the girl will make a clown out of you and the people will just accept her story, then why would you do such a thing
No. I almost lost 4 fingers at work today and I feel like I'm losing my mind more and more every passing day, I don't recognize who I was even 5 years ago and I joke about suicide just to numb the pain. Somedays I wish I didn't exist as if this is the great gift of life, it was made with lies.
Why do I find this relatable man, I almost cut my hand open from pinky to thumb the other day and am also contemplating the distortion of my self image. Damn.
can agree as an autistic, lesbian woman. istg most neurotypical women, especially my age, are just assholes. 😭 do one wrong move and youll be ridiculed for lifetime within their friendgroups, especially if youre autistic like me
As a Gen Z man, I have had it ingrained in me since probably 7 years old that approaching women is wrong and makes them uncomfortable, so I shouldn't do it.
I have never once asked a woman out because of this, and after seeing countless stories about false accusations and being labeled a creep/incel I don't really regret it. My life is lonely, sure, but it is peaceful.
I have dated two Gen Z women in my life, both made the first move. The first ended up being horrendously abusive and manipulative and then played the "I'm just a woman" card when I was about to speak out to our friends and family about the abuse. She went around telling lies about how I manipulated her into sex and was abusive because she knew that if she said a man was abusive, she would automatically be believed and I would be the abuser.
This is what happened. All of the abuse I suffered and had evidence to back up went out the window and she was immediately exonerated by our social circle while I was cut off immediately without ever getting the chance to show them the evidence that she was the abuser. Just judge, jury, and executioner in one day.
I ended up moving towns because now I was labeled an abuser and pervert off of a bunch of word of mouth with no evidence and I didn't want to be harassed anymore.
I still struggle with people being skeptical or outright dismissive of my abuse because "how can I, as a man, suffer abuse from a woman!"
The second moved into my apartment, immediately started having severe mental breakdowns over our relationship even though I loved and cared for her and made sure she was heard, so when I ended the relationship but still stayed friends under the context of "I love you but you need serious mental counseling and I dont think our relationship should be a priority" AND continued to let her stay in my apartment she repaid me by trying to get me to sign a court order to pay her back $2000 dollars for all her share of the bills. At the time I was very bad financially as I was recovering from surgery and out of work, so obviously she knew I didn't have the money.
She threatened to ruin me and then had her mother call my father and make claims about how I was stalking her and banging on her door every night screaming. The truth was the exact opposite. She would break into my room and cry on the floor at 3am over nonsensical things and try and either hit me or have sex with me. Despite having never met this woman, my father believed her instantly and started spreading the lie.
I eventually moved out and broke contact. The court order was null and void as it was deemed signed under duress.
In my experience, and many others, Gen Z men are caught in two extremes. We are told not to interact with women, essentially ever, to not make them uncomfortable. This makes us afraid to express ourselves because we dont want to be labeled a creep, and its hard to know what a specific woman's boundaries are because we are too afraid to even talk to them in the first place. When even basic social etiquette is now supposedly coming off as "creepy", we just stay shut to avoid any problems that could have large consequences.
The other side is then that we are expected to be providers and these strong, stoic types that aren't emotional, both in romantic and platonic relationships. Not just with women either. When a man is struggling emotionally they are immediately labeled as weak or even dangerous, often left with no real support from others because they are expected to be the support.
On top of this, every action and mistake of theirs is under hyper-scrutiny from those around them. One small slip up where they shout at their partner and suddenly they can be labeled as unstable or even abusive if the partner wishes to, all while women who do these same abusive behaviors get away with them time and time again. Just look at women who perpetuate domestic violence. Their sentences are often laughable.
So Gen Z men have no real healthy emotional outlet both in relationships and friendships, are demonized for basic social interactions often when the vast majority have good intentions, and are expected to hold everything in and be the backbone without any support themselves.
Add the fact that we live in constant anxiety about making someone uncomfortable accidentally and what consequences that can bring, and it is no suprise Gen Z men are struggling. They aren't allowed to be flawed, normal people in several aspects.
Also, to any incels who try and take the message of "women are solely to blame" out of this, you can fuck right off. Women have faced horrendous treatment for so long and have good reason to be very cautious. Some behaviors surrounding Gen Z women especially are a problem, yes, but that isnt an excuse to be a misogynistic piece of shit.
Personally I have too much shit to sort out, and I think it would be unfair to make all of my baggage someone else’s problem. So even if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn’t pursue it. I’m genuinely just not fit to be in a relationship yet, and I think that’s okay.
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No , no we are not lol
https://preview.redd.it/ou32byuvro7g1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5d10c49596b7a43262a23f28a82fd345c602201
You are not wrong
https://preview.redd.it/spqh4ifzds7g1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4045f0d39da42a21fbcac102c975999f97e390dc
We are never gonna get grandchildren, are we?
Nah, we'll just bring back arranged marriages.
" What do you mean you don't love her/him? What other prospects do you got?"
"What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huuuuge...tracts of land!"
"but I don't want any of that. I just want her to have a certain... special... something..."
You are right
As a millenial, I think you got it even worse. Good luck , guys
Yeah. Shit sucks for us, but Gen Z has it way worse.
Gen alpha is going to want to volunteer to die in the climate wars at this rate
One must admit, the "war on climate change" really does have a ring to it. That's something a country could get behind 🤔
I'm gen X and I'm really sad reading this comment, and all the others. I really feel like you've been let down by society and I'm sorry. My youth was spent doing whatever I wanted, my boomer parents didn't care, I had very little boundaries and had a lot of both fun and danger. I'm so sad that isn't the case for gen Z, you don't deserve to have it this way.
It’s also the introduction and normalization of the internet. When I was 4-10 years old I didn’t even think about having a phone and when I got a flip phone at 13 I didn’t even realize internet was really an option. Nowadays 10 year olds are being handed iPhones and basically exposed to the full horrors of the world non stop from a very young age. It’s a totally different expectation and a totally different reality from when we were kids.
What percentage of gen z girls have asked guys out
5%
Can confirm. Exactly 5%.
5.000% or 5.0000%?
Precision is key!
Pay attention to your sig figs!!
I don't think that it's 5 percent....
I think that it's 5.... Total. Only 5.
And they've all asked out the same guy!
...and are now all upset he's already got a girlfriend.
Ryan Gosling, right ?
Luigi
Luigi has a girlfriend?! tsk..
https://preview.redd.it/vkz90dg17r7g1.jpeg?width=440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=790b3e2c9fbf3b870a9b86ccf24d46849e0ef87c
0.5%*
That's a big number mate
I've only had 2 do so. One stood me up on the date she'd planned and only messaged after I'd been waiting in the line for the place for around an hour to say she had thought it wasn'ton anymore because I hadn't messaged her again to confirm the day before. And then blocked me when I suggested rescheduling since I would be in the area for a while.
The other was open that she was looking for a fling before she flew out the next day. I'm actually quite sad about this one since she was very kind, accepting, and turned out to have similar hobbies to me, but she lives on the other side of the world to me so I may not ever get to see her again.
I've had "only" zero. In over 45 years of life.
I'm 54 and I've only had one tell me to go out. My ex when she wanted me out of the house
What percentage have said yes to guys who ask them out?
200% (they go out with multiple guys a week)
dating gerog is an outlier, she dates 200 men a day and should not have been including in the stats
I got asked out one time when I was a teenager by a girl that came to where I worked. We went out. I thought it went great. Never heard from her for maybe two years. Walked in to a friend's party that had a bunch of randos and she was there. Such a small world. Still never got that second date 🤣.
Sounds like you had what some of us olds refer to as a normal fucking experience.
Hard to be sure there was any fucking involved. It was only the first date.
That sounds pretty standard.
This is honestly the best position anyone can ever ask a girl out in.
If she laughs at you, you get a consolation prize
https://preview.redd.it/n7fmr1k52r7g1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=2c5ad4eba6c111a1c0ba09bcb3984d7a0e9a58c5
I'm not gen z. I am way older and I only asked a girl out when I was 33. Ha! Gen-zers are not the only ones who suck at living their lives!
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you mean what?
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Man fuck them kids. We would flirt until we were on a date that neither of us called a date and then we were somehow dating. Tell me I’m wrong.
Yeah this pretty accurately describes me and my wife
I mean, thats like, every non-official 'date' since the 50's
Gang gang
Unironically how did that happen?
I’m turning 30 and had a rough go of things in my 20s. Make great money now like to think i have a nice personality but just missed a huge part of finding relationships due to hardship/trauma/etc.
Haven’t played around since I was 21 since my self worth took a dive from all those issues and just not sure how to get back into it. Hell even then most of the initiative was from other girls asking me out and me just reciprocating.
I was pretty much OK with living my life alone. I just never pondered about neither troubled myself with thinking that something was wrong, that having spent so many years alone wasn't OK. Really, I felt nothing, but...
One day I woke up feeling desperate and horrified. Literally, I went to bed to sleep one day and I was feeling OK, but I woke up the next day in full despair. Did it all come to me in a dream? I don't know, but I was 32/33 and I finally realized that something was wrong and so many years of emotional detachment was atypical and bizarre. Got sad and then depressed.
I went to see a psychiatrist, then a psychologist, to try and understand what had gotten me into such a situation and how to get out of it. As a grown man I had to learn how to do things I should have learned much earlier in my life. How to talk to a girl? How to ask one out? How to do this and that? Worse yet, I'd have to "practice" with women of my age, who would more often than not notice I had no experience. I never felt more pathetic and alone in my life.
Luckily, with time, I found someone, a true soulmate, my now wife, who had also shut herself emotionally and we helped each other out, shared thoughts and burdens, and we've been together for 16 years.
I guess I’ve been kind of the same way. My psychiatrist has tried to get me to be more open to relationships but it’s difficult to look at my life in that way.
Not a lot of self care going on when you don’t think of yourself as a person due to things you did in the past.
I mean, let's be real. Since 2010 or so, dating is online dating for every generation. I'd be surprised if more than 20% of couples first meet IRL these days.
I have my criticisms of Gen Z. But this isn't one of them. It's all of us.
https://preview.redd.it/d52stgm6no7g1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca44ca3353f94d82ec193aa4919ea1eacfc51699
True. literally just don't care.
I’m 41, every girlfriend I’ve ever had, including my first wife and current wife, asked me out. So technically I haven’t either…
is it possible to learn this power?
Long dick or hot face hahha
Edit, totally forgot the one that trumps all. Or Money. Lol.
I got long face and hot dick, what do I do?!
Self fellatio. Lol jk
Hell yeah brotha
I mean it's mostly cus your name checks out haha
get some meds for the fire penis, it's not supposed to burn
Penicillin should fix both problems. You'll be much happier after you've dealt with the STIs.
Dick size would have nothing to do with this because they wouldn’t know until after they get asked out.
Not from a Jedi...
Be funny, be kind, be unavailable. Eventually one will hook you; however, you’ll have long droughts in between successes and no control of who picks you. It’s a blessing and a curse.
LISTEN UP BOYS
45 and pretty much the same experience
How many bears have asked a woman out?
Bears are really more into other gay dudes.
Username checks out
We otter consider these facts.
I can't speak for us all, but I have asked around fifteen.
How ostentatious of you.
If a man is in the woods, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Whether these stats are true or not...
A portion of Gen Z was essentially taught that approaching a woman, in just about any form of context is unnecessary and not okay.
There is no real mystery as to why everyone is lonely.
We have shunned human interaction out of society due to the fear of bad apples.
Innocent until proven guilty?
Or guilty until proven innocent?
Hmm... sips tea
Can't have the cake and eat it too.
I have been told by several Gen-Z women that it's never okay to approach a woman you don't know (or even mildly familiar with) and me even considering it as an option is concerning because red pill and approaching objectifies women. They said the only way it should be done is by developing a friendship over the course of months (or even longer), even if you are running the risk of your time being wasted if she says no. Oh, and it's also a problem if my hobbies are male dominated... I'm a guy. Of course what I like to do is going to lean male oriented.
My sisters on the other hand have verbalized their troubles just getting asked out. One finally has a stable boyfriend after years of waiting for guys to ask her on dates or not feeling it after a date or two. They've also not been interested in a relationship with many of the guys in their friend groups whom they've known for months or even years.
So what the hell am I supposed to do? If I don't dedicate a lot of time to become friends with a woman before making any move, I'm potentially an incel creep. If I do, I'm putting one egg in my basket and I've lost months of time on the good chance it doesn't hatch.
I'm not saying at all that having friendships with women is a waste of time, but they're saying you need to be already firmly established with a woman before trying anything.
I can't eat cake, I can't have cake. It seems like the best I can do is look at cake from image search results and read feel good Bestofredditorupdates posts.
Edit: The best option seems to be get really hot, so that's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to light myself on fire and see if I can't attract women like moths to a flame. After I get out of the hospital, it's 50/50 whether women will come talk to me out of pity, or if they'll keep their distance depending on how much and where I'm burned. Either way, improvement. /s
Cold approaching women is only creepy if she doesn't find you attractive
Human Resources meme
It's funny cause it's true.
That’s what makes it such a humorous situation.
All comedy is tragedy
Exactly yet women and society be like "it's all about confidence", my ass
Wait but what about their confidence? I'm sure they have no problem doing the asking, right?
Nononono, you don't understand. As the man, it's your responsibility to approach and initiate everything. And plan all the dates. And pay for all the dates. And carry every single conversation. And buy expensive gifts. And vacations. And anything else she decides she needs to see if you're a good provider. She has to do the hard work of showing up and deciding whether or not you're sufficiently impressive.
At that point it's actually more affordable to just hire a sex worker
Funny how that's illegal most places isn't it?
As the wisdom goes, confidence can only emerge if one has had constant positive feedback. If you are constantly bullied in school, your teachers and parents don't do anything, you cannot suddenly cast "confidence" on to yourself and be confident
If you never won a chess game and feel confident about playing chess, you’re just stupid.
Literally calling Human Resources on the bigger portion of us
Stop asking women for dating advice. Seriously. They do not have your best interests in mind. Those same Gen Z women who told you never to approach won’t care if you die alone in 50 years having never found romantic love.
Go ask a guy who has a current or several past successful relationships what works. I hate to use that old trope, but stop asking a fish how to get caught and ask a fisherman.
Cold approach works. Asking out acquaintances/classmates works. Getting set up by friends works. Asking out coworkers works.
The one thing that doesn’t work is waiting for a relationship to fall into your lap. It might be 2025 and we might have come along way in terms of intergender dynamics, but girls on average still don’t want to make the first move and still find guys taking initiative incredibly attractive.
Didn't women have that app (Bumble?) where they could control who messages them by making it so they have to initiate the conversation with guys they like?
But then too few women liked that, so they changed that feature and now it's basically the same as Tinder.
I remember that app. For all the women on tinder who complain about guys who start a conversation with "hey" that is the only thing they EVER stated conversations with on bumble, and then expected you to have some drawn out poignant response. Thank got I get my partner the old fashioned way, being set up by a friend.
I once saw a woman on bumble saying she doesnt message first. Don’t think she understood the point of the app
Yes and many just send a waving hand, working around that requirement and still wanting the guy to actually spark the conversation.
Great advice. Guys, shoot your shot. Don’t wait. It’s a numbers game in the end for most guys
And then, after establishing a friendship as mandated, they will get shocked that you want more and call you an incel creep. You can't win with women.
Oh you can win. You just have to be in the upper 1% of men. But if you aren't there, it must be your fault somehow.
STOP BEING UNATRACTIVE!
Your first paragraph is so funny to me. I remember 15 years ago when "the friendzone doesn't exist!" was their go-to response. Now they want to lead guys on and create the exact situation that causes these guys to say they have been put in the friend zone: hours upon hours of emotional investment and not even a single date to show for it.
To make a blanket statement: Guys are usually pretty logical and straightforward. We like to follow rules. Most of us don't care what the rules are, as long as it's demonstrated that we will succeed if we follow those rules. There's nothing wrong with befriending women, but to make that a requirement of the normal dating experience is exhausting and will burn men out. Sooner or later they're gonna decide to just stay single and avoid talking to women altogether, since there's no proof their effort will be rewarded.
(Just an observation from a gay man who has no skin in the straight dating game)
I see so many posts on either /r/askmen or just any advice sub of whether it’s okay to approach a coworker. Most would say don’t shit where you eat but a very large percentage of peoples relationships started at work/their office. Then on the flip side there’s tons of posts by women asking why don’t men approach anymore.
Meanwhile I’ve approached and I see many men especially Gen Z men approach out at bars and I’m wondering where are these people hiding that don’t approach?
Not at bars lmao
Gen z are historically low drinkers.
Outside of bars, many men avoid approaching otherwise. Bars are socially acceptable and it’s a mate-seeking target rich environment. Get denied? Get lost in the crowd and move onto the next one.
Approach at gym? Creep. She’s just trying to workout in peace
Approach at the coffee shop? Creep. She’s just trying to work on an important email or read a book in peace
Try to approach on a sidewalk? Creep. What are you doing? Trying to sexually assault her when she’s just trying to walk to a destination?
Approach at a park? Creep. What are you trying to do? Kidnap her?
Approach at a grocery store? Why ruin your 5 minute grocery shop by getting denied stuck between Gertrude, Ethel, and Theodore where they can trap you and watch your humiliation in real time.
All that being said, many women also want to be approached in these places.
All you gotta do is make sure you are attractive specifically to the woman you’re approaching in hopes you don’t end up viral on social media as a creep.
TLDR: shitting where you eat is not worth the risk if you’re in a career you enjoy. Consistent paychecks are more important than going after the cute girl at work; especially since HR, much like courts of law, favor women over men. Learn to take rejection. Show interest, but be brief. Know you’ll get rejected far more than you’ll get a yes. Don’t let constant rejection ruin your self esteem. Eventually you’ll find a woman interested in a date
ULTRATLDR: bars are far easier, but finding husband or wife material is less likely. Find peace in a God you believe in and/or masturbate more for internal serenity
When in incredible doubt, stay home and rub one out, and then maybe stay there too.
This is a golden reply— You hit so many nails on the head here.
I feel like they are rarely seen in the wild because they are stuck in basements.
Safer to be alone than to be ostracized — A lot of people fall for implied narratives.
But yea, don't shit where you eat is an excellent analogy for this...
...then you see the real-world reality where a rather large portion of healthy relationships start in places we shunned.
People need guidance without feeling like a villain for not knowing.
Could be wrong though.
This is so sad. I’m a millennial and have fond memories of people asking me out, even if it weren’t nowhere. One was a guy at target who approached me and gracefully commented on my looks then said he’d kick himself later if he didn’t try to ask me on a date. We only had one forgettable date, but I felt so attractive that day and will always remember it. I have other memories like this too.
I also have memories of being approached in uncomfortable or pushy ways, or being belittled for saying no. Don’t do that please.
I think it's true. If you are taught as a kid that your presence is threatening to women on any context, then it's obvious to expect something like this. Kids don't want no trouble. I wouldn't either.
They're scared of it being considered sexual harassment.
Or other bad things. I was at my gym and saw this kid (likely in his 20s) compliment a girls shoes and ask her what type they were.
Suddenly, another guy, presumably her boyfriend (in his late 20s or 30s) comes running around and starts shouting at the kid. The kid backs off saying he didnt mean anything he was just asking about the shoe.
The boyfriend takes the girls hands to lead her away while shouting "fuck off" loudly enough for the whole gym to hear, pointing at the kid.
1) I am pretty sure that girl is an abusive relationship
2) I doubt that kid is making small talk with another girl anytime soon.
3) Lets just say I am glad things were better in my times.
Just an example of the men that women choose to date!
Beauty and the Beast was a prophecy.
Women want, giant hairy dude, rippling huge unnatural muscle, 7'2" who yells at her and everyone else. Massive anger issues and is a manchild that she can "fix."
Who is also filthy rich and has a literal mansion full of servants and gives her anything she wants when he isnt yelling at her.
Also, he's a total stalker and won't let her leave his mansion. He's totally obsessed with her, but also goes through devastating mood swings and has the IQ of a wet paper bag when it comes to problem solving.
Nobody talks about this. This thing right here is the what scares most guys nowadays.
Yeah, like rejection is now the good outcome
Can confirm,You can be acused of sexual harassment even if you do nothing. Had a new trainee at work a few years go flirt and hit on me multiple times, after I shut her down(and told my team lead she was making me uncomfortable with her constant advances), she tried to complain to my supervisor to get me in trouble and accuse me of harassing her, thankfully I had left a paper trail with my team lead and I was able to prove it was her harassing me. If not I probably would've lost my job. It ended with management doing nothing but moving her to a different building, while I still got a written warning for something I didn't do.
I was a temp worker once and got fired for sexual harrassment. I didn't even know who it was I supposedly harrassed. Also I'm 100% gay, so I was NOT hitting on anyone.
Even if its all a missunderstand or in her head it doesn't matter. Your guilty and screwed.
That shit happened to me and I didn't even ask her out just complimented her.
Thats the thing right? Additionally, in a world where every single thing is considered content, you just know that the "sexual harassment" would be filmed and put on socials. Potentially life ruining event all by just expressing interest.
Why would I? I have no redeeming qualities and would be rejected anyways. Might as well save the trouble for both of us and not even bother
That's the spirit!
No, “it’s evolution, baby!”
Hot goth death strikes again
Atta boy!
https://i.redd.it/poaxe9836p7g1.gif
I am below average in looks and the general response I get from asking out girls is to 'fuck off'
Have you tried the old classics such as showing the slightest bit of affection to a woman with daddy issues? Looking for the ones with mental health issues? Finding a single mom of 2 children who desperately needs a dad for her kids?
/s
I mean the first two options are at least fun (at first)
Not sarcasm :
I am, idk I think at least & have always been told, above average in looks…& I’ve always gotten similar responses. Gotten fuck-off before but I figured she was just going through it. but a “cold” approach has never succeeded for me before.
however I’ll be honest in that it’s not something I go around trying for very often. I’m both introverted & someone who enjoys my solitude. I’m not someone who leaves my house for anything unless I need to, really. The only other reason would be walking my dogs & riding my bike for exercise. Otherwise I’m an indoor boy..who’s even failed with the dog approach. LOL.
I’m also not awkward & I know how to speak quite well, though I’m not terribly funny that’s for sure. I always look at things in a more thought-provoking light & have experienced a lot of trauma that I think lends itself to overthinking way more than lightheartedness.
Only mentioning these things cus I’m sure someone will say “well obviously you probably can’t socialize since you’re so introverted & stay inside all the time”. Oh, I also make good $. So that’s not it either. Oh oh, I also care immensely about my fashion! I don’t care about brand names whatsoever but I have a shitload of jewelry, 3 closets-full of nice well-kept clothes & I LOVE my style. I feel fly as FUCK every time I walk out, shit I feel fresh in my sweatsuits sitting inside watching anime. :) before someone else comes in with the assumption I’m unkempt too. Bigger issue is no one can know these things about me because all attempts at getting to know someone is discouraged.
anyway, I only wanted to say this bc I know it’s not easy & hopefully wanted you to know that sometimes even being conventionally attractive isn’t enough.
I’ve felt pretty lonely - although I’m OK with it - for the last 10 years. (I’ll be 31 soon), and the “loneliness epidemic” thing resonates w me bc I’d been struggling w this issue for so long…seeing it given a name & learning loads of people struggle too surprised the shit out of me, I never would’ve assumed. Couldn’t believe how I’d be reading someone’s story & recognize it as virtually my own…& to do it dozens of times over is so sad.
For example I don’t expect I’m going to have kids despite really wanting them.
To be clear tho I’m DEF not talking about the red pill shit, I don’t think it’s women’s fault any more than men. It’s a societal shift & technology. Women are also now drilled that there’s violence & rape at every step in every day. & some of it is valid as fuck…this all to say : don’t blame women with any exclusivity.
Be careful not to let that nonsense fry your brain either .. not to condescend, no clue what you subscribe to.
I'm 72 and approve of this message
That’s depressing as fuck brother
🎵I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby🎵
You inspire me.
Yeah, but I still managed to get married. Turns out they can make dumb decisions, too.
All thanks to dating apps, dating apps do nothing but create this low risk outcomes that both men and women want, but it’s never fulfilling!
dating apps favour the extroverts, those who are introverted dont do as well using them.
And if you don't look "good enough", chances of finding matches plummet even more. The feel of infinite choice and lookism-based app design means minority of attractive people gain vast majority of likes/matches, while the bottom majority gets breadcrumbs.
Isn't it obvious? Society has normalised approaching women for romantic purposes a bad, creepy behaviour with often really bad consequences.
No it goes like
You're hot and sexy- you're asking out, flirting hitting.
You're not hot and sexy? You're a creep
This is the correct answer
Shit, I’m a married man and I’ve still never asked a girl out.
The messiah! Guide us!
Because Gen Z have heard all their lives women angrily complaining about how much they hate men in our society, and guys are left with the impression that approaching a woman romantically is harassment. Gen Z is experiencing the other end of the pendulum swing.
https://preview.redd.it/fb2lnrq07p7g1.jpeg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c763b1b0f36ae6f2e95c86d1d16b8603fee4a7b2
I sympathize with women wanting less harassment and less overtly sexual attention from men who aren't even interested in you as a person. Absolutely. But, the resentment has been directed toward ALL men, not just the minority of harassers.
This wouldn't be a problem if women actually asked men out more ... that would be a better solution for everyone ... but most women of every generation including Gen Z are way too afraid to risk rejection. So, when combined with the shift to socializing online rather than in-person, there's just much less coupling happening.
100% men would be suspicious and would look for a camera / smartphone to see if they are getting livestreamed on shittok , and then the girl makes up some shit the dude is on cam and gets in trouble and she gets her likes and comments.
Just sayin'
For the record, I grew up in the 90s and this was very much already the dynamic. As a young boy I just took cues from everyone else and assumed men were somehow evil perverts, except for a select few. Turns out, not the case. Heh.
This is reflective of a culture that has told men they are "aggressive" for trying to talk to women in real life and have real human interactions with them. As a woman, I'm disappointed, but not surprised.
Yep this exactly. Tried dating recently and was rejected every time, evem by women who approached me first. A few times I was mocked for thinking I had a chance
Im not sexist and never will be though. Im just going to stop trying and treat women like id treat any man. Distant respect.
Can you blame guys? Most are deemed either a Creep or just flat our don't want to suffer any problems or consequences. GenZ parents are from a generation that gets off hurting people.
Have you met millennial or genZ women? Blaming men is their favorite past time.
Women said loud and clear that men should "fuck off and not be creepy", so now what's the problem?
Maybe they have become enlightened.
No, I don't think gen Z is alright. I think we fucked them (not in the good way) with social media. we did bad, and should feel bad about it.
(I'm Gen X)
You wait, you guys are talking to girls?
Only because I'm not being creepy and not trying to ask them out.
Sounds like a recipe for being laughed at behind the closed doors of public social media posts. Or just laughed at. On the spot.
How many girls are worth that risk? Especially when life already sucks so much for men. Look at the suicide rate(mostly men), college graduation rate(mostly women), employment rate(women now out umber men in various categories and will soon out umber men in the workforce in total), and a dozen other things by gender. A dozen or two men may be at the top, but the majority of men are now at the bottom.
There literally aren't enough men for the ladies who want to get married, and it's then men who still need to go out on a limb.
Edit: For context, I'm approaching my 8 year wedding anniversary.
Don't forget about workplace related deaths (90% Men), homelessness (70% men) and prisoners (90%-95% men). Even homicide victims are 80% men (mostly killed by other men though)
Nope. The gender divide has gotten too stark these days. Men are scared of women falsely accusing them, and women are scared of men hurting them. We are witnessing a total collapse of trust in our society, and an increasing sense of paranoia towards everyone around us. This statistic doesn't surprise me at all
Because the term "creep" has been so ingrained in dating culture. Ask a girl out and you're not a Chad? Creep. Try to flirt with a girl and you're short? Creep. Oh, and there's also a chance it could be filmed and posted in social media for all of posterity.
Why take the risk?
I mean hell, don't dating apps also have height filters? Women irl have height preferences and it sucks because height cannot be changed and it's very doomerish
Judging a man solely based on his height is the equivalent of judging a woman by the size of her tiddies. The latter has become unacceptable in the past 30 years.
That’s sexual harassment though.
Yep. I was taught grpwimg up that approaching a woman with romantic intent is sexual harassment.
Ok 45% of guys haven't asked a girl out in real life, so what percentage have actively dated and are doing there dating through Apps? What is the difference vs other generations? Of those Genz is 13-28 so how many are just 16 or less and not really "dating"? Like once you look at the factors it's pretty easy to see this isn't an "Outrageous" stat.
I mean the apps are where you find people who are actively looking for a partner. The apps are terrible for many reasons, but Where are young people supposed to find people in “real life”. Bars are expensive and Gen z drinks less than previous generations. College is expensive and a degree is less valuable than it used to be so they are skipping that. Work?
There are no women in my college courses as well.
No, we are very much not alright.
The few gen z guys I work with almost seem a sexual. They never talk about women, I never see them look at women either. Its very bizzare
As somebody that was friendly to women in the workplace... I was accused of sexual harassment. Not even flirting, just being friendly and myself.
I now don't talk to women in the workplace
I only started doing it this year and I turned 27 in August. Both online and in-person. One agreed and then sent a message an hour after we were supposed to meet to say she thought it wasn't on anymore and then blocked me when I suggested we reschedule. Everyone else in online dating either didn't reply or blocked. In person at bars and nightclubs the path usually goes like this: 1. I notice a girl who is looking at me with clear interest and might whisper to her friend that I'm cute or handsome (I'm good at noticing certain words due to my upbringing) or she might tell me directly so I strike up a conversation. 2. The conversation is going very well and we both are enjoying each other's company. 3. (Optional step) I decide that she's genuinely interested in me too so I offer to buy her a drink. 4. Something happens and I'm ditched. Always one of the following: - If I get her a drink she says she needs to go to the bathroom and then spends the rest of the night pretending I'm not there. - Some other guys will come up; push between us and start interacting with her, at which point I'm largely forgotten. The first time this happened she kissed several other dudes and her last words to me were to tell me that I was the wrong ethnicity. - her friend comes up and says something to her. At which point she goes from offering to share her drink with me or asking if I have a girlfriend; to either pretending I'm not there, or telling me to wait a moment while she joins her friend(s) who have started talking to a few other guys. Who they'll then leave with. Though I'll give the last girl credit for at least waving goodbye.
If she lets herself be distracted or literally just bails i think the conversation isn’t going as well as you think. Kind of sounds like many think you look cute but you do or say things that are uninteresting or offputting during the conversation part…
I'm just following orders man. I'm tired of the games, I'm tired of seeing women online tell men to leave them alone and fuck off. I never had a shot anyway so I never bothered. Which also has an upside, because I can't say I've ever been rejected either (insert roll safe meme).
It’s cuz they did away with roller rinks. I mean wtf. No more “True Colors” or “Stairway to Heaven?” Not their fault.
Why fucking bother? So they can build a life of poverty together to produce homeless children. Their whole generation is cooked.
They are growing into adulthood just as AI is poised to remove the bulk of white collar jobs that pay well, houses are entirely unaffordable anywhere there is decent work, and the climate is on the edge of collapse.
They'll grow up just in time to inherit the ashes. Why would they be worried about dating in a fucking SURVIVAL situation?
My goal now is to save up and buy a land for farming.
At that point everyone else can f**k off and die, lmao.
Where are things to do to meet the dateable in person? They really don’t exist anymore, so why is this statistic a surprise?
A pretty big reason are the "that guy creeped me out" videos when there is just a normal dude just asking her out, his fault was that he was ugly to her, so if there's a possibility that the girl will make a clown out of you and the people will just accept her story, then why would you do such a thing
No. I almost lost 4 fingers at work today and I feel like I'm losing my mind more and more every passing day, I don't recognize who I was even 5 years ago and I joke about suicide just to numb the pain. Somedays I wish I didn't exist as if this is the great gift of life, it was made with lies.
Why do I find this relatable man, I almost cut my hand open from pinky to thumb the other day and am also contemplating the distortion of my self image. Damn.
45% have avoided a sexual harassment claim
Fixed it for you.
Dating in this current economy? I'm too broke
They saw the woke Gillette ad that said men can't approach women
Only 45??
Never date women in this generation. Right when you think you had it, she ends up being just like the rest.
can agree as an autistic, lesbian woman. istg most neurotypical women, especially my age, are just assholes. 😭 do one wrong move and youll be ridiculed for lifetime within their friendgroups, especially if youre autistic like me
The benefit of a relationship are too risky for what you get in return. Not worth
Long comment, fair warning.
As a Gen Z man, I have had it ingrained in me since probably 7 years old that approaching women is wrong and makes them uncomfortable, so I shouldn't do it.
I have never once asked a woman out because of this, and after seeing countless stories about false accusations and being labeled a creep/incel I don't really regret it. My life is lonely, sure, but it is peaceful.
I have dated two Gen Z women in my life, both made the first move. The first ended up being horrendously abusive and manipulative and then played the "I'm just a woman" card when I was about to speak out to our friends and family about the abuse. She went around telling lies about how I manipulated her into sex and was abusive because she knew that if she said a man was abusive, she would automatically be believed and I would be the abuser.
This is what happened. All of the abuse I suffered and had evidence to back up went out the window and she was immediately exonerated by our social circle while I was cut off immediately without ever getting the chance to show them the evidence that she was the abuser. Just judge, jury, and executioner in one day.
I ended up moving towns because now I was labeled an abuser and pervert off of a bunch of word of mouth with no evidence and I didn't want to be harassed anymore.
I still struggle with people being skeptical or outright dismissive of my abuse because "how can I, as a man, suffer abuse from a woman!"
The second moved into my apartment, immediately started having severe mental breakdowns over our relationship even though I loved and cared for her and made sure she was heard, so when I ended the relationship but still stayed friends under the context of "I love you but you need serious mental counseling and I dont think our relationship should be a priority" AND continued to let her stay in my apartment she repaid me by trying to get me to sign a court order to pay her back $2000 dollars for all her share of the bills. At the time I was very bad financially as I was recovering from surgery and out of work, so obviously she knew I didn't have the money.
She threatened to ruin me and then had her mother call my father and make claims about how I was stalking her and banging on her door every night screaming. The truth was the exact opposite. She would break into my room and cry on the floor at 3am over nonsensical things and try and either hit me or have sex with me. Despite having never met this woman, my father believed her instantly and started spreading the lie.
I eventually moved out and broke contact. The court order was null and void as it was deemed signed under duress.
In my experience, and many others, Gen Z men are caught in two extremes. We are told not to interact with women, essentially ever, to not make them uncomfortable. This makes us afraid to express ourselves because we dont want to be labeled a creep, and its hard to know what a specific woman's boundaries are because we are too afraid to even talk to them in the first place. When even basic social etiquette is now supposedly coming off as "creepy", we just stay shut to avoid any problems that could have large consequences.
The other side is then that we are expected to be providers and these strong, stoic types that aren't emotional, both in romantic and platonic relationships. Not just with women either. When a man is struggling emotionally they are immediately labeled as weak or even dangerous, often left with no real support from others because they are expected to be the support.
On top of this, every action and mistake of theirs is under hyper-scrutiny from those around them. One small slip up where they shout at their partner and suddenly they can be labeled as unstable or even abusive if the partner wishes to, all while women who do these same abusive behaviors get away with them time and time again. Just look at women who perpetuate domestic violence. Their sentences are often laughable.
So Gen Z men have no real healthy emotional outlet both in relationships and friendships, are demonized for basic social interactions often when the vast majority have good intentions, and are expected to hold everything in and be the backbone without any support themselves.
Add the fact that we live in constant anxiety about making someone uncomfortable accidentally and what consequences that can bring, and it is no suprise Gen Z men are struggling. They aren't allowed to be flawed, normal people in several aspects.
Also, to any incels who try and take the message of "women are solely to blame" out of this, you can fuck right off. Women have faced horrendous treatment for so long and have good reason to be very cautious. Some behaviors surrounding Gen Z women especially are a problem, yes, but that isnt an excuse to be a misogynistic piece of shit.
Personally I have too much shit to sort out, and I think it would be unfair to make all of my baggage someone else’s problem. So even if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn’t pursue it. I’m genuinely just not fit to be in a relationship yet, and I think that’s okay.
Hookers a few times a year is cheaper than dating or marriage
45% seems low.
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Why would they? Things are so bad in relationships I can’t blame anyone from just walking away