I was reminded of this yesterday evening as I was watching a movie at my dad's place. I spent the first half of Christmas with my brother's family and the second with my dad's girlfriend's family, and with so many kids and so much socializing, I reached the tail end of that day completely depleted. Probably should have just gone home, but it's my dad's gf's nature to have made that way more trouble than it would have been worth.
But then, all the while watching this movie, just more chatter, constant chatter, continuous interaction. The way conversation keeps drifting to something I'm expected to chime in on. And do I want another glass of wine? I need to eat more cookies! How are things with your job? Is that grant money going through? I'm sure you very much want to talk about this all right now, yes?
Seriously, the lengths some people will go to, to try and control your life... I brought up that I was looking to buy a house next year and move out of my condo, though I needed to sort out my options in selling the one and buying the other, and everyone proposes and legitimately discusses the option that I move in with their single 70 year old relative. Like actually discussing it as if I might actually be interested in doing this, without asking me if maybe I might find it weird to just move in with a single old man for some length of time, or whether he'd find it weird also. I must really want that, right??? Because otherwise I'm all alone and lonely and so desperate for company that I would agree to this?!?!111
I realize what a pleasure it is to be able to go to my own space at the end of the day and just shut my brain off, not trying to accommodate anyone but myself. I can just not talk to anyone and nobody will theorize that I must be pissed about something, or I can actually watch a thing I want to watch / read a book I actually want to read without having to keep the other ear open for when someone wants to get my attention or just not feel ignored. Alone time is a MUST for me.
Frankly this has been one of the busiest, unrestful Christmas seasons I've had in a long time, and it made it harder to enjoy. More is not automatically better. More is, sometimes, a lot worse.
I have one more Christmas today with my immediate family, and then my calendar is empty for the next 9 days. No work, no social obligations, just rest, and pure bliss. This has been one of my harder years with many trying circumstances and I am just... Tired. I want to rest, reflect, re-center myself. I NEED to do this, and I'd never get a chance like this with a partner, much less with children here! I've turned down a party invitation and am completely ignoring any and all New Year's Eve plans. I seriously do not want to do ANYTHING social over my vacation, and I don't have to. Just movies, books, jigsaw puzzle, gaming, sleep, comfort foods, exercise when I need it, and more sleep. I'm so grateful I can do all of this for me, all of which I need.
I hope you all have the chance to rest and recharge after this holiday season also!
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Heck yeah! Chill holiday is best holiday. I bust my ass at work during the year, I always take a long break between 2 to 3 weeks long over the holidays for that deep rest and recharge. I like to laze around at home and do whatever I want whenever I want. Watch tv or movies all day, play some video games, read one of my many books from my personal library, go to the beach and read by the ocean...the relaxing peace I get from being alone is unmatched
There is always a personal reason why we get volunteered for things! They've recommended you move in with the 70 year old as it means you can be a carer without them having to be involved!
When I split with my ex, his mother suggested my ex's sister move in with me. This was someone who had invited a pub full of people to her parent's house when they were away and had assaulted her ex with a hammer blow to the head! It was obvious they were just trying to get rid of her, as she lived with them. I refused to allow her in my house.
My brother, when he found out my ex and I were splitting even after knowing the ex was violent, asked if I could make it work because I'd be 'all alone'. He was concerned I'd constantly be asking him for help. Luckily, I am fiercely independent and didn't even consider that.
This was my first Christmas without my father and it was kinda sad. Though it was quiet and I played my PS5 and watched Twilight Zone. My brother had his wife and his two daughters and his son and her kids and parents at my parents house. I can't imagine having kids running around the house and causing a mess.
Yeah absolutely I mean my ex left close to 6 years ago or maybe earlier than that. Anyways I feel like the holidays have really become mine again. Meaning kind of the way I spent my holiday is very similar to the way I spent it you know 17 years old with my family. Granted my dad is still around but my parents have been divorced forever and he's decided over the past couple years to just ignore me I'm still waiting on a holiday card. I tried calling him most holidays and he doesn't pick up and sometimes the line is busy.