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I keep waiting to "feel" lonely. I don't know if it's the type of depression I have or something in my brain chemistry, but the longer I'm single and the farther I'm removed from times that had more people in my life, the more content I am. I'm down to only my younger kid at home, but he's often busy with athletics after school so sometimes I'm just quietly all alone for hours after work. I'm looking forward to when he is moved out (my older kid moved out a couple months ago). I don't have contact with family and I only have 2 friends. It's so nice to just be in solitude the majority of time. I'll keep waiting to "feel" lonely, but I doubt I will.
I really relate to this. The longer I’m single, the more I realize that quiet doesn’t automatically equal lonely. It’s more like space. Did that shift happen slowly for you, or did it surprise you too?
I think some people might feel lonely single. I have a friend who feels that way. He’s never been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and never married.
I was married for almost 20. It feels peaceful to me. I think the grass can look greener for some. For most, it isn’t. That green is fake. They fake it big time. I know this because I did too.
You are spot on here. This lifestyle is very easy, so easy that I am certainly thinking of never going back to a relationship ever again. All of the work and the drama involved in relationships is not something that I miss at all. I suppose the most difficult part of this is explaining to others about being alone on Christmas and family holidays. Alone is a lifestyle that is still not accepted and understood 100%.
I have never felt lonely in my entire life. I have missed specific people who I already knew, but I’ve never experienced a general yearning to be around people or meet new people. Being alone brings me peace and joy; I love the people who are already in my life, but nothing drives me to add more.
I was lonely when I was married!
Now I’m happy and fully aligned.
I don’t know anyone that’s in a happy, stable relationship and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone that was.
Maybe there’s moments of happiness but overall they all seem miserable.
It really depends on the person, my brother wanted to not live at home as he didnt want to be told what to do, he preferred his own place and lived in his own place for over 30 years. Although he couldnt (medically) work so didnt have that pressure either. That being said my parents did check on him weekly and he would come "home" very often (more than once a week), so really for him it was the best of both worlds. I know when my parents were killed that didnt go well for him (as then he really was alone).
For me, last xmas was the first time ive been alone, i didnt choose this way of life and i would prefer not to be alone, however ive been burned by life badly (moved out my own country, parents killed, then my brother (the one above) last year. I am running on auto pilot to get a house working then will expend to other countries to work to keep busy. I already have someone in Philippines (they are supposed to be back by now i think).
Although i would prefer not to be alone, ive seen how people are and i dont trust them, soooo its likely the best of the situation i am in
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It's a lie they tell us to pressure you into marriage.
I feel more lonely when I am surrounded by more people.
This. I feel more drained than lonely when I’m around people I don’t fully click with.
I'm only lonely when i'm near people who suck my soul dry
Imagine being married to one, aaargh.
Oh, I have been 😟
I keep waiting to "feel" lonely. I don't know if it's the type of depression I have or something in my brain chemistry, but the longer I'm single and the farther I'm removed from times that had more people in my life, the more content I am. I'm down to only my younger kid at home, but he's often busy with athletics after school so sometimes I'm just quietly all alone for hours after work. I'm looking forward to when he is moved out (my older kid moved out a couple months ago). I don't have contact with family and I only have 2 friends. It's so nice to just be in solitude the majority of time. I'll keep waiting to "feel" lonely, but I doubt I will.
I really relate to this. The longer I’m single, the more I realize that quiet doesn’t automatically equal lonely. It’s more like space. Did that shift happen slowly for you, or did it surprise you too?
People talk as though being single is the same as being alone or being isolated.
They discount the value of all other relationships and over inflate the value of a heteronormative pair relationship.
I think that people who live happily single represent a threat to the social order. That’s why there is so much fear mongering about loneliness.
👏👏
So true! Threat to the social and the economic order too.
I think some people might feel lonely single. I have a friend who feels that way. He’s never been in a relationship longer than a couple of years and never married.
I was married for almost 20. It feels peaceful to me. I think the grass can look greener for some. For most, it isn’t. That green is fake. They fake it big time. I know this because I did too.
I was lonelier in my last relationship than I ever have been while single.
Agreed
I have felt worse. When I felt the need to date because it sounded like a good idea. Now I could care less and it's super freeing.
You are spot on here. This lifestyle is very easy, so easy that I am certainly thinking of never going back to a relationship ever again. All of the work and the drama involved in relationships is not something that I miss at all. I suppose the most difficult part of this is explaining to others about being alone on Christmas and family holidays. Alone is a lifestyle that is still not accepted and understood 100%.
I have never felt lonely in my entire life. I have missed specific people who I already knew, but I’ve never experienced a general yearning to be around people or meet new people. Being alone brings me peace and joy; I love the people who are already in my life, but nothing drives me to add more.
I was lonely when I was married!
Now I’m happy and fully aligned.
I don’t know anyone that’s in a happy, stable relationship and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone that was.
Maybe there’s moments of happiness but overall they all seem miserable.
It really depends on the person, my brother wanted to not live at home as he didnt want to be told what to do, he preferred his own place and lived in his own place for over 30 years. Although he couldnt (medically) work so didnt have that pressure either. That being said my parents did check on him weekly and he would come "home" very often (more than once a week), so really for him it was the best of both worlds. I know when my parents were killed that didnt go well for him (as then he really was alone).
For me, last xmas was the first time ive been alone, i didnt choose this way of life and i would prefer not to be alone, however ive been burned by life badly (moved out my own country, parents killed, then my brother (the one above) last year. I am running on auto pilot to get a house working then will expend to other countries to work to keep busy. I already have someone in Philippines (they are supposed to be back by now i think).
Although i would prefer not to be alone, ive seen how people are and i dont trust them, soooo its likely the best of the situation i am in
And solitude is bliss!