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Having a happy and fulfilled life doesn't require a partner. Let’s normalize happiness in single status!

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I was in a relationship that made me feel small and in past relationships I don't think I was fully myself? Being single is the most authentic form of ourself I think. 

Relationships quite literally drove me insane. I’ve never been more anxious, more self-hating, more pessimistic, and more delusional than I was when I was in a relationship. I’m single and suddenly my anxiety and all else are gone. Genuinely think I was meant to be single.

I just fell into it. I'm heterosexual, and sexually attracted to men, but I don't actually enjoy men. I just don't want one around.

I thrive spending time alone. I'm insanely independent. And I have a zero-tolerance policy for drama and bullshit.

But also I could never find that magic combination of "treats me how I want to be treated, and fucks me how I want to be fucked." So I don't even have casual sex anymore.

I’m probably neurodivergent. Awkward and serious. Never met my person. No one ‘chose me’.

It’s my natural state.

https://i.redd.it/g6alf1xn229g1.gif

🧉🦄👌🏽

For me it wasn’t necessarily a conscious choice that I made. It kind of just happened naturally. I’ve never really made dating or finding a relationship a priority in my life. Not due to any ideological stance, but simply because I have always been content on my own and I have never particularly felt the need to “settle down” or any of that jazz. I’ve had some crushes in my time but they never lead anywhere.

Now I’m 36 and still single, probably will be for life but I’m OK with that. At this point I feel like it would be too much of an adjustment for me to couple up with someone anyway.

I don’t want to be someone’s option.. I want to be there .. hell yes! 2025 seems like everyone is looking for the next best thing. I’d rather not play the game

My divorce was very traumatizing, involving an affair baby (his). It was very difficult to untangle our lives. It's been 3 years, and I went back to school to finish my degree and I'm primary parent to my daughter, who is 5.

So my desire to remain single is two fold; I have basically zero time to carve out for another person. Also, I'm highly indifferent to dating. I don't really care to meet people when my daughter is so young, or try to get to know someone, or go on apps. None of it sounds interesting to me at all.

I have school, a job I love, a great funny kid, and plenty of hobbies and friends to fill my cup. At this time, I have no room for a romantic partner.

I find all people extremely draining and I'm aromantic and asexual (plus childfree and petfree, although I may foster babies). Also, neurodivergent.

I need large amounts of alone time, solitude, quiet, peace, freedom, choice, autonomy, options and more to function compared to most people.

I seriously question my ability to live with a partner or share even my car/mode of transport with another person long term despite valuing saving money as I value freedom, peace and alone time highly. I also would find it hard to constantly need to be able to communicate and plan with someone and have to share finances etc. 

Being single makes the most sense logically for me. I have the wrong temperament for a long term relationship, I'm not opposed for the companionship if I met someone emotionally, intellectually, sensually and aesthetically that I was attracted to, maybe, and they get me.

Among many reasons was realizing I didn't HAVE to be in a relationship. I didn't have to have the "happily ever after" with one person forever. I can have a happily ever after with myself, my loved ones, friends, family. Plus, being in a relationship just sounds isolating to me. Being with the same person every day until you don't want to. Arguments, compromising, sleeping in the same bed. Worse if they've got a lot of problems. I'm doing my part to heal MY wounds, I ain't doin it for someone else for free lol.

I don't like who I become in relationships. I become small, unhappy, I second-guess myself a lot. But being single means enjoying the smallest things with childlike glee, and I won't be put down for it. I won't be called disgusting if I make mistakes. And I don't have to share my bed with anyone except my dogs. And I can wear whatever I want, eat whatever I want, and no one is going to complain about disliking what I chose. It's so freeing.

My expectations are too niche and my personality too unkind to keep a desired partner. My lifestyle and country of choice are just the nail in the coffin. Combine that with age and progressing self isolating. I'm only glad I live in times when it is possible for me to exist alone as a woman

I agree with the other commenter on “it’s my natural state”. Never been in a relationship and never plan to be.

Obviously seeing how much of a mess dating is helps my decision, but personally even if dating was perfect and easy, or if I met the “perfect” person, I still wouldn’t want a relationship. It’s just not for me.

Not a lifestyle to me. It’s just my life. I’m single, whole, and happy.

If I’m in a romantic relationship, I’ll be in a romantic relationship, whole, and happy. I don’t do bad relationships.

It’s not a lifestyle for me. My brain is wired to not want a romantic relationship or a life partnership. I didn’t choose to be this way, I was born this way.

Being in a relationship brings out the worst in me.

Spit up with my kids dad when they were 6 and 3 and they are now 16 and 13.. decided people were far too untrustworthy to bring around them. Over the years now life has gotten really peaceful and couldn’t imagine trying to navigate two teens with someone new. Been just trying to figure out what makes me happy

I was not driven to it. It was thrust upon me.

I’m probably aromantic.

Relationships turned me into some one I did not even recognize. The relationship made me feel small and it felt like they were intentionally trying to break me. I lost weight, stopped eating, I stoped engaging with my friends. I’m so much happier now and free and confident. I will never give someone that power over me ever again.

Started from finally able to have the freedom to make my own choices. So I enjoyed those years and choose to be single. Those years passed and I looked forward to find someone but didn't actively look. Eventually, now I'm in the mindset of if it comes, it comes, if not, I'm ok too. I'm still not actively looking haha. The Universe has to throw someone onto my lap for me to take notice.

Feeling constantly stressed out to the point that the positive didnt outweigh the negative while in relationships and stress free single. Sometimes its that simple

what drove me to this lifestyle is a couple bad marriages and especially my last drama filled relationship. I finally realized I was choosing the same type of person over and over and that I'm not compatible with that person. I don't miss the drama at all!

Got cheated on by my husband, wanted children, was geting older and didn't want to risk my time being wasted, had baby on my own, now I'm too busy/tired and fulfilled by other relationships in my life. Oh and trust issues for sure.

A big part for me is also the online dating aspect. It used to be a lot easier to connect with someone, like each other and enter into a relationship. Now everyone is so detached, myself included, so it’s just constant stress. I grew to despise the whole ‘what do you do for work, tell me about your family, what are your hobbies, etc’ time after time with different people, most of which lead no where (on both sides, I’m a lot more picky these days and it seems others are too.)

I used to deal with the drudgery thinking it’s what’s needed to find that needle in a haystack. Then I realized that needle may never be found, and I’m living my life in a constant state of stress for no reason.

I started focusing on what I actually love about being single and how much more peaceful I feel not in that mouse wheel of pointless communication and effort.

The rest is history 🙌

I got to see the savage nature of men and just don't want to engage with them anymore. Some men are truly evil and psychopaths.

My marriage

I've always felt drained and restricted in relationships. I like to be free to do what I like without having to consult a partner. Just little things like if I want to take extra hours or travel for work I don't have another person that I need to share my schedule and check they are OK with it. If I'm cooking, I don't have to worry that someone else is liking what I'm cooking. I'm also very tidy and like everything in its place. I don't want to nag someone to tidy up after themselves.

On a more serious note, I hated feeling like I put so much effort and gave so much love to someone who didn't reciprocate or appreciate it. I also don't appreciate some partners who thought they had access to my body just because we share the same bed and disregarded the fact I was sleeping.

Single and happy for me 😊

For me, it was chronic physical pain and the depression that goes with it. It's hard to date when you don't feel happy.

A deadbeat ex

The effort spectacle required kinda brushes me as an often dehumanizing thing. Then when awdtsg became popular I knew I’d never go back.

All I’ve ever been in is toxic and controlling relationships and it turns me off to the idea of relationships in general

two abusive relationships

Cheating in this day and age is as easy as opening an app and it feels like there are less faithful people and everyone is trying to date up in terms of they will drop you in a second for someone else they can potentially get with who is slightly better than you be it better looking or a better income.

Even bland looking people I know have ended relationships after many years because suddenly someone better looking than their long term partner flirted with them and instead of saying “I’m in a long term relationship” they realise they can have a better looking person so partner of 7 years gotta go!!!

Widower

I think if I break it down to its very simplistic basics.

It because I just can’t be arsed. Another person always comes with some kind of bulshit.

My life path had no one else on it, no stopping points and no turn offs that lead to locations where others would be

It's a choice to ensure safety and peace in future relationships. Since I don't view singlehood with a deficit model, I'm not going to be clawing my way out of a hole to feel fulfilled. Instead, I'm going to do a brutally honest assessment of how well potential relationships will enhance both of our lives significantly above a secure floor. I'll treat them with the humanity they deserve, not as database entries with photos and chatbot capabilities, and expect the same in return.

A decade-long relationship fell apart. Then Covid hit shortly after. But I also never enjoyed having roommates - even in college where it supposed to be “fun” having roommates.

Lack of effort. Lived results that relationships suck. Selfish.

I lapsed a few weeks ago and got drinks with my ex from earlier this year. We had both done our own growing and unexpectedly it was like no time had passed between us. It was nice but then I had to remind myself and him that, even though it seemed we resolved our issues, I still didn’t want kids and he did. So we parted ways. Last week I hooked up with a friends friend. I don’t typically hook up so soon but it was intense out of nowhere, I hadn’t felt a strong physical connection like that before. (The ex I had been seeing briefly is a bad kisser and bad in bed). So we did that and he got super attached. I told him from the start I didn’t want to date, or we’d go really slow. After 3 days, and the 5th time he had referred to us as ‘we’ I told him I just prefer being single now. Luckily he’s not an asshole and didn’t try to guilt me etc.

All of this to say overall, it’s still new for me to be single and happy. Even those things separately but I think I’ve been happy because I’ve been single. So I will practice self control when I feel any type of connection and keep my homeostasis/peace.

it's not a lifestyle, it's just a singular choice. the opposite one makes me (and by the looks of it, everyone else) miserable. that's all there's to it.

getting engaged to my “perfect” man yet still wanting to be single. it was my last breakup and relationship. i realized it was never the other person, i just love my autonomy no matter who it is. i see it as the same difference of preferring your own dorm or having a roommate. who would choose a roommate when you can have your own space?

Honestly all of the same reasons you listed

Divorce, Never again.

I am sorry but I don't understand why you need so much to tell everyone.

I took time off to focus on myself. I wanted to get all facets of my life in alignment. I had been through so much that my goal was simply to take a break and get ready for more

I didn't realize I was soaring and loving life, finally, until one day someone asked me when I planned to date again since I finished my goals a long time ago. I thought about it and I kept coming bank to, "No way am I giving this up! This is awesome!"

Sometimes I wonder if I knew then what I know now would I have avoided relationships altogether.

It may sound selfish, but I'm happy, and after going through many years thinking being happy was not possible, I'm not letting this go. I'm not lonely. I don't want a partner.

I wanted happiness, peace, safety, emotional, physical, and mental security, and my little corner of the universe.

Got it! Solo. Love it! Solo.

I experienced a lot of abuse for many years by a lot of men. I'm done.

At 33 I finally figured out what was "wrong" with me: I was aroace (aromantic and asexual). All my life I was hoping that maybe at some point I would finally be "in love" with someone or want physical touch of someone. And it never happened. I find men sexually attractive, but I wouldn't want to touch one or be touched by one in reality. Women I find nice looking, but not sexually attractive. I wouldn't mind touching women or be touched by them (sexually) but I don't crave it and the romantic aspect of it freaks me out. Basically, men freak me out and women don't entice me enough.

And now at 36 I'm happier than ever having figured it out eventually.

That self-reliance is going to serve you so well later. 💪

I (lesbian) dated someone who had diagnosed BPD + prior hospitalizations and she just... didn't disclose it for like four months lol.

Turns out trying to play carer for someone who is extremely not mentally well doesn't end well. She doesn't have the self- or other-awareness to know that her extreme (by 99% of neurotypical standards) insecurities and triggers cause her to be abusive to the people she's in relationships with. Instead she just projects and cries abuser and narcissist. When she did it to me, I didn't even know how to respond other than "Oh, you sincerely think that about me? Then logically we shouldn't be together, I reckon." She did NOT like that, lol.

Being subjected to the constant manufactured conflict and the constant 'love you, hate you, I'll fuck you, I'll kill you' cycle will turn you off to dating anyone after you finally get out.

I like being able to simply exist, have needs, and do nice normal-person things for myself without always being made to feel like absolute shit over it. Nobody's crashed out over my having healthy friendships (that showed exactly zero indicator for emotional or other cheating, etc.--there wasn't even a reason to be paranoid about that), needing to sleep, buying a fitness watch, or any other number of totally normal not ridiculous things I got in heated arguments over in the nearly 3 years I've been out.

I was eventually able to buy my own place and didn't get swindled by a sick hobosexual who could only offer her opinions and her desire for a 'purse room' where I wanted an office to WFH. My life has been almost laughably peaceful in the years since I left her.

1 Corinthians 7: Verse 7: Paul contrasts the gifts, wishing all were like him (single) but recognizing God gives different gifts (marriage or singleness).

Being single doesn't necessarily mean not dating. I date regularly. I just don't want to be married, cohabitate or have kids.

What brought me to this lifestyle was realizing I dislike marriage and/or cohabitation. I like women and sex a lot, and still date regularly.

I always had excuses to not be dating like work was really busy this season or family stuff. I went on 3 dates in the last 6 years total (all first). I never texted back after since I really didn't even want to be there ... I realized finally that I sincerely didn't want to date anyone