TIL that "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" is the worst song to play at a strip club.
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  • 26 points zindorsky

    As big strippers go, she was bigger than most

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    11 points sligowind

    Of the big stripper, they called Gitche Gumee.

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    4 points Round_Engineer8047

    That stripper it's said, never gives up her dead

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    3 points this_noise

    But will give a handy, under, the table.

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    1 points MatthewDawkins

    The stripper it's said, never privately gives head,

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    2 points Money-Ad7257

    Maybe, "The stripper, it's said, discreetly gives head—for a sawbuck, under, the table". Commas used to indicate pacing.

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    2 points Round_Engineer8047

    Her role in the morgue in the towm of Limbourg led to scandals and protests a-plenty.

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    1 points Money-Ad7257

    And then "BLAM-bobba-dah" for the drum fill at the end to start the groove rolling. 😁

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    1 points Betrayedunicorn

    Too many syllables brother

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    1 points MatthewDawkins

    Depends on where you put the emphasis in "privately"!

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  • 24 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    10 points Token_Handicap

    I saw 2 women pole dance and strip to Bohemian Rhapsody. I'll just say it's not a bad song for strippers, and leave it at that.

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    5 points azurezero_hdev

    baby shark do do de do de do

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    3 points PzykoHobo

    Nights in White Satin; its slow, has a weird rhythm, a d last for roughly 37 minutes.

    Perfectly inappropriate for a titty bar

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    1 points Money-Ad7257

    Impassioned lovers wrestle as one. Lonely man cries for love! and has none; new mother picks up and suckles her son....

    "Hell, let's get outta here; the night is young....."

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    1 points JustLetItAllBurn

    On a similar theme, Tool's entire back catalogue.

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    2 points Particular_Mistake39

    The one time I went to a strip club she danced to forever young by alphaville. Like the slow ballad version of it. Bizarre 

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    2 points aflockofcrows

    Requiem was sampled by 213 (Nate Dogg, Snoop, Warren G) for a little ditty called My Dirty Hoe, so it's kind of appropriate.

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    1 points BenFranklinsCat

    Honestly as a burlesque fan 500 Miles would work fantastically for a "fun" striptease.

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    1 points Money-Ad7257

    You're talking the Proclaimers version at least, right, and not the brooding folk dirge popular in the 60s folk boom? The former I could see working just fine.

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    1 points Monsterofthelough

    Yeah, totally. I was dancing like a loon to it at the last wedding I was at.

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    1 points Charming_Ad2323

    Add No 1 Party Anthem to that list. A real cheerful number.

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    1 points Polebunni

    When I was a stripper, I danced to Bohemian Rhapsody every single day. It takes some musicality, but it's AWESOME.

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    1 points Monsterofthelough

    500 Miles would work okay I think.

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  • 8 points Gauntlets28

    "Mournful. She has mournful tits. They're like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra."

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    2 points NegotiationLazy8611

    Go team Venture!

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  • 3 points Tickle_Nuggets

    "Lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying"

    Bloodhound Gang

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    2 points TheNakedGypsy

    came to post this. good work.

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  • 2 points psyopsagent

    Have you tried "Castigation and Betrayal" by Anaal Nathrakh?

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  • 2 points sloaches

    I know we're goofing here, but years ago a dancer got on stage and danced to a couple of songs from Bruce Hornsby and The Range.

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    3 points Round_Engineer8047

    Thats just the way it is. Some things will never change.

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    1 points DarkKnight0690

    Oddly enough, I could actually see that one working somehow.

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  • 2 points captain_toenail

    A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying by the bloodhound gang at least deserves an honorable mention

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  • 2 points Tgeeze

    I think Monster Mash should be considered.

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  • 2 points mrlosteruk

    The hokey-cokey

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  • 2 points Go1gotha

    Brian Cranston looks really rough here.

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  • 2 points Left-Equipment7137

    You Suffer by Napalm Death surely?

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    1 points LibrarianOrdinary596

    Only if you want to get your money's worth 

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  • 1 points MaintenanceInternal

    Does anyone know where the love of God goes when her cheeks turn the minutes to hours?

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  • 1 points panicatthepharmacy

    I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.

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  • 1 points SDHester1971

    Something by Sunn 0)))

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  • 1 points DarkKnight0690

    Nah, the absolute worst would be 4’33” by John Cage.

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    The Malcolm in the Middle return looks fantastic!

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  • 1 points Garali1973

    Just listened to it. Fuck me your not wrong😀

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  • 1 points CanadianCraftsman

    Anything by Anne Murray would be wildly unsexy at a strip club too.

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    1 points Money-Ad7257

    Hmm. I dunno. Shadows in the Moonlight might be an exception. Her contralto with a sort of frumpy soccer mom getup that is gradually disposed of to reveal a surprisingly pert figure....it might be a sleeper hit! Same with Dreams of the Everyday Housewife (Glen Campbell), especially if it was coin beer night (no pennies or nickels please).

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    1 points CanadianCraftsman

    I’m now imagining Anne Murray working the stripper pole with “Shadows in the Moonlight” playing. Blouse, blazer, mom jeans, frosted tips… everything on point. Lawrence Gowan makes a surprise appearance and seamlessly weaves “Moonlight Desires” into the medley.

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    1 points Money-Ad7257

    I just looked up the tune—hell, that'd actually be unironically entertaining! Any sort of eroticism would've have flown out the window around the key change of Shadows, and it would probably be a respectfully mesmerizing atmosphere just north of a train wreck, sort of how Donahue had the strippers on his show doing their act (to Hungry Eyes in one instance) and stopping at the underwear before a smattering of tepid applause and an interview.

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  • 1 points JumpinJackTrash79

    It's "at 17" by Janis Ian

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    2 points Money-Ad7257

    Oh, she's high on the bracket indeed. Hell, her music would drive Mr. Rogers to go for a two pound Porterhouse with a few whiskey sours.

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    1 points JumpinJackTrash79

    I always figured him for a martini drinker.

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  • 1 points MoveSavings1199

    It all turns into Jimi Hendrix Purple Haze 'excuse me while I kiss this guy'.

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    1 points Money-Ad7257

    Oh hell! Another qualifier. Why that's bad for business in most clubs.

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