‘more English than the average Englishman’
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  • 450 points Jinkii5

    South Eastern England + NW Europe = French, bad luck

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    117 points not_pletterpet

    Or worse, Belgian

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    78 points FjortoftsAirplane

    Belgium isn't real. That's why its only famous people are Poirot and Tintin.

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    32 points Renault_75-34_MX

    It is, but it's a short cut for Germany to get into France, with a trip wire that alerts the UK.

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    27 points HolyMolyitsMichael

    Belgium is just France with a fake mustache

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    3 points Still-BangingYourMum

    Belgium is just 3 geese in a trench coat

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    9 points 90210fred

    And Plastic Bertrand. And a certain F1 driver who likes to think he's Dutch

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    4 points TheRealTRexUK

    don't swear. #hhgttg

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    3 points NewTimeThief

    No, it’s Marc Dutroux.

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    3 points PalpitationNo7940

    Dont let Jean Claude Van Damme read this, you know how he gets

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    2 points Boggie135

    It was invented so England and Germany would have a field to settle their differences

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    2 points robinw77

    Who's been making all that "Belgian" beer I've been enjoying all these years? I feel so cheated.

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    1 points Still-BangingYourMum

    Have you ever seen TinTin and Poirot together in the same room?

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    0 points BassesBest

    And Max Verstappen is Dutch

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    0 points Bobboy5

    Belgium was invented so that Germany and France would have somewhere to do all their wars.

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    1 points Chelecossais

    And the English could laugh at their continental wars.

    /and they really hate the dutch, too...

    //merçi, dank u, lord palmerston

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    8 points Ascdren1

    He already said French. No need to specify the region.

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    1 points Catsic

    Belgish*

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    6 points expresstrollroute

    Or in other words, Norman ancestry.

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  • 207 points Plantarbre

    It's cracking me up that you have that one country where giving away your DNA data will absolutely fuck you over, and they're somehow convinced it's the one thing that can make up for a culture in spite of every single other country involved repeatedly reminding them this doesn't mean shit.

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    44 points ken_the_boxer

    The difference between yoghurt and the US.

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    52 points SeaworthinessSalt524

    Yoghurt can develop a culture

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    10 points Kyr1500

    or as they spell it, yogurt

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    13 points ken_the_boxer

    The word is 'misspell'.

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    4 points BeckieSueDalton

    Orherwise, we must separate those syllables between the consonants, and poor little 'o' doesn't get to say her name: yawg - hert.

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    0 points Finnegan-05

    This is absolutely embarrassing

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  • 91 points fliwbesr

    I have a feeling he'll tell people he's Scottish though

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    34 points Ok_Corner5873

    Obviously Viking and likes to sail close to the wind

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    13 points DeliciousUse7585

    Scaaatch

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  • 89 points h00dman

    An American admitting English ancestry... what are the other signs of the apocalypse again?

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    29 points Bushdr78

    I'm yet to see a "North East English" American, when that day come it truly will be end times

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    16 points DeliciousUse7585

    Haway man

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    10 points scurvekano

    Gannae be canny, like

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    2 points Ecstatic_Food1982

    Fog on the Tyne, oh mine oh mine.

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    3 points thefly50

    It's quite common in the South, where there is a long and sordid tradition of promoting "the supremacy of the unconquered and unconquerable Saxon race", in the words of one of their leading post-Civil War politicians.

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    2 points Balseraph666

    The only ones who do like the idea of being "Anglo Saxon", even though as an ethnicity it is a myth peddled by and for race supremacists ashamed of the fact that even before 1066 and the Norman Invasion the "English" were a mongrel mish mash of different groups with little solid 100% "pure" racial identity or makeup.

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    2 points Competitive-Ninja-32

    And the same goes for every other race. The only time it matters is when people want to discount a thousand years of identity at least so they can replace us. Fuck off

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  • 58 points idiotista

    Those subs just keep on giving.

    Racial biology at its finest.

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  • 43 points PipBin

    Nope. Husband has 100% East Midlands. His family were not ambitious.

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    18 points MokeArt

    I mean, that's likely to mean a lot of the branches on the family tree were actually just the trunk...

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    1 points Inner-Wolverine-8709

    I laughed way too much at this comment, thanks

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    1 points swallowassault

    Yeah that was pretty similar to mine. I tried building a family tree but it ended up looking like a very close family (luckily a few hundred years ago but still)

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  • 26 points caveydavey

    Not that it matters in the slightest, but that could be read as 11% English ancestry......and a Brummy

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    9 points Faithful_jewel

    I'm half Brummie and sitting there going "No! I'm a YamYam!" while sobbing pathetically into my orange chips.

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    2 points unicornvega

    I’m dying at 5% brummie

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  • 25 points Charming-Objective14

    I swear ancestry DNA is just designed to take money off people.

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    7 points Impossible-Ground-98

    and you would be right

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    1 points swallowassault

    It is also owned by mormons and they use it to baptise the dead whats kinda insane

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  • 16 points A-Chntrd

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  • 15 points loveswimmingpools

    How strange that an American might have British DNA. However did that happen?!!! Sarcasm BTW. Which he'll understand with all that Britishness!

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  • 44 points snajk138

    The average "Englishman" would be 100% English though? Not genetically, but culturally and, you know, due to actually living in England.

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    20 points MattheqAC

    You'd think. But that would mean these types would be 100% American, which seems anathema to them.

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    10 points snajk138

    Obviously. "I can't be all American, I was just born there and have never left... but that doesn't mean anything!"

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    2 points Balseraph666

    This is just the "One Drop Law" approached from the other side. Instead of "One Drop" meaning you are black and must ride at the back of the bus it is "One Drop" makes you "pure" (Insert Desired European Ethnicity Here). "English" is usually used by some closeted white supremacist to claim to be both more "pure" English than people from England (Americans obsession with always being the "best" of anything won't let them be less "English" than people from England), and "Anglo Saxon" (even though such an ethnicity never existed and was an invention of race supremacists in denial that most people in the British Isles were mongrels even before the Norman Invasion in 1066, and have only gotten more mongrel in the near 1000 years since).

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    2 points dragon-dance

    Eh well, mongrel is preferable to inbred.

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  • 13 points Bushdr78

    A shockingly high number of Americans seem to be completely happy giving away their DNA to random companies.

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    6 points Boggie135

    They seem to be okay with giving up anything to a random company

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  • 11 points Jeepsterpeepster

    Let me guess, by 'average Englishman' they actually mean people born and raised in England, with an English accent, English sense of humour, who recognises all English cultural references just like every other English person - but who just happens to not have white skin because their parents came to England from somewhere else before they were born?

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  • 17 points AuroreSomersby

    Oooooh, is that racism?😬 Because it sounds pretty sus…

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    12 points Bekahjean10

    That’s how I read it. Many Americans believe England has been taken over by Middle Eastern refugees.

    My husband is from England and we live in the US. Our neighbor asked him what it was like “with all the Muslims” taking over the country. The anti-immigrant rhetoric is strong here.

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  • 6 points Creoda

    That much "Southeastern England" in a guy from the South of the USA?

    Kind of proves the old saying about incest in the deep south.

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  • 4 points jcflyingblade

    These colonials really don’t understand, do they?

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  • 4 points westwestmoreland

    My ancestry results tell me I’m 98% from the north west of England. And 2% French.

    To be honest, being inbred (even with some tiny French in there) isn’t a flex.

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  • 4 points LegEaterHK

    Always found DNA test like this weird. How do they get as specific as "east midlands"? Does the east Midlands have a specific genetic make-up?

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    3 points phoebsmon

    I don't know how exactly these do it, and it won't be anything like accurate. But there was a study done on the DNA of people whose four grandparents who'd been born within 50 miles of each other (a proper published one by scientists with blood samples, not trawling a database of saliva samples).

    There were distinct differences, but not really in the regions they're giving there. There's this massive chunk of the east from the south coast to up around York that's pretty much the same. NE England is pretty distinct and closer to Scotland, same for Cumbria. Then Devon and Cornwall each have their own little gene pools (make of that what you will, Norfolk getting off the hook here), different ones in Wales and Scotland and so on. But most of England is pretty boring and similar.

    Long story but I've done one (nothing to do with spurious location data), looked at some of the subs for these tests and mother of God. Insane people.

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    3 points ThenSignature7082

    They make it up

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    2 points LegEaterHK

    Sounds about right

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    1 points bigbadbob85

    I wouldn't really think so. I imagine a large portion of it is just random or based on something that could apply anywhere but they have specifically noted it as being from the East Midlands for whatever reason.

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  • 4 points Overall-Lynx917

    5% Brummie@

    Eel be ateing faggots n pays wi arr kidd

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  • 6 points Oldsoldierbear

    a Southern American WHO demonstrates he does not understand basic English grammar

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    8 points Casual_Precision

    Or maths - he’s 51% English, not more English than 50% of English people!

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  • 3 points suffelix

    For King and Country then, eh?

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  • 3 points 7_11_Nation_Army

    Norway he is more English than the average Englishman

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  • 3 points iloveitwhenthe

    How to be an Englishman: be from England

    That's literally the only criteria

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    3 points ThenSignature7082

    Man is optional 

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  • 3 points TunaandBananaPizza

    Sassenach !!!

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  • 2 points Flaky_Ship4665

    I think he might be European.

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  • 2 points Lucifersam076

    The sentence on that ancestry post makes no sense. And how is it a trend lately to type out a statement and then put a question mark at the end? It's still not a question when someone does that

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  • 2 points Flaky_Ship4665

    Even Queen Victoria was half German and married a German.

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  • 2 points Ulquiorra1312

    Ironically southern american here isn’t south america

    Its southern states

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  • 2 points RustyKn1ght

    To be fair, they've played this larp since 1800s. That's why they were called "southern aristocracy" because they modeled their hierarchy and society after British landed gentry, like Cavaliers and were obsessed with modern notions of chivalry.

    They also had nasty classist attitude towards northern industrialized cousins and didn't like how they mixed themselves with those 1st gen immigrants.

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  • 2 points This-Wall-1331

    If you're more English than the average Englishman, then where is your passport?

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  • 4 points ZeMike0

    Must be bonie blue. Has 50% of Englishman inside of her.

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  • 3 points Agreeable-Ad4079

    If those stats are true, it means they are inbred

    To keep those percentages of heritage from an old continent today, I assume that after at least four generations, it means you are a child of cousins, which were children of siblings who were children of cousins

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    2 points quadruple_b

    literally everyone is inbred technically.

    what matters is how close the relatives were. siblings is bad. 1st cousins is less bad, but still risky (and VERY BAD if its double first cousins). 2nd cousins are unlikely to cause defects, but the risk is higher than in unrelated people. 3rd cousins is pretty much fine, no extra risk.

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    2 points Agreeable-Ad4079

    sure, but these are clearly 1st cousins at best

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    1 points EmbarrassedNet4268

    Did they move to shelbyville?

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    0 points ALPHA_sh

    they said "southern american" and well, some regions of the south do have a stereotype for being inbred

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  • 2 points BrokilonDryad

    But…England was Celtic. Why are they differentiated? And “Celtic” isn’t a monolith. The Celts spoke related languages and had shared culture, but would be distinct as a people. The ancient Irish would have little in common with people from ancient Brittany who would have little in common with Galician Celts. Real arbitrary distinction there.

    Edit: Not sure who’s butthurt over what I said, but I’m not wrong lmao

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  • 1 points TheMammaG

    What an insane claim.

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  • 1 points christiant91

    Dont show this to ICE

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  • 1 points Ok_Employer7837

    She does say, in a later comment, that it was "mostly a joke".

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  • 1 points Real-Pomegranate-235

    Isn't the average English person only actually 30-50% Anglo-Saxon my actual ancestry?

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  • 1 points Mudeford_minis

    Well he’s more English than this Englishman, I’m 75% Dutch.

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  • 1 points Boggie135

    He's more likely to be French/Belgian

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  • 1 points Wishing-Winter

    2% Nordic I can already smell the "I'm part viking" phrases 

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    1 points ThenSignature7082

    You forgot about grandpa William Wallace and uncle Robert the Bruce 

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  • 1 points Impossible-Ground-98

    I feel like they're the only people stupid enough to send their DNA willingly to a random testing lab

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  • 1 points shibasdepitibiribas

    It baffles me how much americans are obsessed with ethnicity and ancestry. I think some of them suffer deeply from cultural hollowness and non belonging sentiment.

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  • 1 points swallowassault

    Jokes on this American my ancestors never went further south than Cornwall.

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  • 1 points CornishDebs

    What do you expect. We founded America!! And no, not more English than an average English man. We aren't diluted by being 'American' We are English through and through.

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  • 1 points NewMachine4198

    “Well, in America, they haven’t used it for years.”

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  • 1 points Party_Sandwich_232

    As someone from central Scotland, we don't claim him either

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  • -4 points Spainiswhite

    If you are a English American, I think God just hates you

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    5 points madeleineann

    What?

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  • -7 points amortized-poultry

    Maybe consider these DNA tests that Americans take really aren't for your approval?

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