Found this on Egyptian reddit
img
  • 413 points Grantuna

    Whoa!

    parent
    156 points MotherOfGodXOXO

    God is Judge!

    parent root
    71 points JizzyGiIIespie

    ‘God is judge’ really puts a neat little box on this schizo tailgate. Woah

    parent root
    29 points notorious_BIGfoot

    This is my flair in infowarrior rides lol

    parent root
    18 points thatvintagething

    Judge of good anal sex?

    parent root
    13 points MotherOfGodXOXO

    Yep 👍 If he rates you at least 8.0 out of 10 you instantly get to go straight to heaven! It says so right in the Bible, praise be🙏🙏🙏

    parent root
    12 points Quirky_Ask_5165

    My German girlfriend rates me consistently a nine. Does that count? 😋

    parent root
    2 points TopAverage7865

    She uses the metric system right?

    parent root
    6 points guitar_stonks

    I mean, I like Mike Judge’s work too but I wouldn’t call him God.

    parent root
    6 points Express_Area_8359

    People when you go to the sign store with a lot to say

    parent root
    2 points Civil_Information795

    I think god wants me to let their tyres down

    parent root
    11 points Prismaryx

    Reads like he just found out that it’s legal and he’s excited to go try it out

    parent root
    15 points Hemagoblin

    WOAH

    parent root
    7 points OneTwoThreePooAndPee

    Whoa!

    parent root
  • 573 points aastle

    This guy thinks a lot about anal.

    parent
    138 points Bad_Puns_Galore

    I mean, same.

    parent root
    26 points clarky2o2o

    Me too, but i wouldn't paint it on the back of my car.

    parent root
    15 points exceptional_entry

    Yeah, I know a dude that has “I Eat Ass” in big white letters on all four of his tires. I’m like “Why is that the announcement you chose?”

    parent root
    8 points [deleted]

    [removed]

    parent root
    6 points exceptional_entry

    That’s a funny one too. I’ve seen others that are ass eating related. Do they expect to be propositioned because of these stickers? The dude in your town has a saying at least, not just a personal announcement.

    parent root
    3 points [deleted]

    Usually they just wanna ragebait cops

    parent root
    3 points exceptional_entry

    Cops are known for not liking people that eat ass? I bet there’s lots of cops that do it. You could gain a buddy. I see that kind of stuff all the time and wonder 💭 why would you want to piss a cop off? There’s no benefit to it, just a long hard road if they decide to screw you over. Just telling them straight up that you eat ass, doesn’t seem like something they’d react to though IMO.

    parent root
    3 points Smiley_P

    Putting it on the tires is a new one, how are the sexy ladies supposed to see it when you drive by them on the highway and flag you down for you to eat their asses??? 😢

    parent root
    4 points vincentcas

    A man has to have a hobby........

    parent root
    13 points KimikoYukimura420

    Snoo checks out.

    parent root
    12 points DeltaBravo831

    Whoa!

    parent root
    27 points GreedyTopPig

    He must be a Libra :)

    parent root
    14 points Ok_Entertainer_1793

    What's that mean, I've never heard that before. Inquiring minds want to know...

    parent root
    25 points 7laserbears

    That's such a Pisces thing to ask

    parent root
    10 points GreedyTopPig

    I’m a Libra… 😈

    parent root
    4 points fingnumb

    Care for some anal? Asking for a friend.

    parent root
    14 points GreedyTopPig

    I appreciate the offer. I’m much more of a giver, to give is better than to receive.

    parent root
    13 points fingnumb

    Username kinda checks out

    parent root
    17 points masked_sombrero

    They call him the ... analyzer

    parent root
    10 points 155trimmer

    "Oh, no no. It's pronounced analrapist"

    parent root
    7 points DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA

    “ANAL”

    parent root
    3 points broberds

    IANAL, but “ANAL”.

    parent root
    6 points Conscious-Mixture742

    It's something he became very passionate about when he was in prison for previously illegal anal

    parent root
    5 points BrutalistLandscapes

    No one thinks of cocks and butt sex more than right wingers

    parent root
    4 points RedneckMarxist

    Me too.

    parent root
    5 points Theylovemychorizo

    Likewise, being a libra that consistently thinks about anal.

    parent root
    5 points sexongo

    Why did he put it in quotations though?

    parent root
    2 points Kaputnik1

    And that's fine. But then he makes an anus of himself and does this.

    parent root
    2 points [deleted]

    His wife, if he has one, probably hasn't let him touch her in a decade so...

    parent root
    2 points 505Trekkie

    99.9% of the time people like this are over compensating to hide something.

    parent root
  • 149 points Great-Gas-6631

    In their brain, there is a connection there. Somewhere.

    parent
    27 points serenwipiti

    I repeat this positive affirmation to myself, every single morning.

    parent root
    23 points amyel26

    Poop comes out of a butt. Anal is butt sex. It's all connected! Through the butt.

    parent root
    4 points Minimum-Trifle-8138

    Every road leads back to the butt

    parent root
    2 points Kiss-the-carpet

    Is the unconscious fascination that excrement is worthy, it's a sign of mental barriers giving in.

    parent root
  • 271 points miakpaeroe

    Thought the kfc sign was in their truck too

    parent
    40 points Standard_Zucchini_46

    I'm not convinced otherwise.

    parent root
    30 points DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA

    Finger licking’ good

    parent root
    7 points miakpaeroe

    R/confusingperspective

    parent root
    5 points BADoVLAD

    r/foundthemobileuser

    parent root
    3 points Yankee6Actual

    r/foundthehondacivic

    parent root
    8 points YouDumbZombie

    The man feels strongly about anal sex and fried chicken.

    parent root
    9 points OnlyCelebration7443

    The sign really completes the picture

    parent root
    3 points whereyouleftit

    That would have normalized this whole thing…

    parent root
    5 points L82thePartyGonHome

    Thank goodness- I struggled with that perspective too. The weird connections I was spinning to make sense of it… well, the Colonel would not approve. But then again, he may be a degenerate. One can never know for sure.

    parent root
    2 points Accomplished_Skin_90

    A KFC sign juxtaposed with “eating animal crap” 👨‍🍳💋

    parent root
  • 53 points ChadCoolman

    I like the Donate! sticker. Doesn't say to who. Just Donate!

    parent
    31 points L-user101

    I think they want people to donate their anal

    parent root
    8 points Standard_Zucchini_46

    A worthy cause many can get behind ...

    parent root
    5 points CoffeeChocolateBoth

    May be in very small print. :) Probably donate to the GOP!

    parent root
    3 points prionbinch

    he wants people to donate to him so he can buy more particleboard and paint to broadcast his batshit insane takes on, because let's be real, this dude is definitely unemployable

    parent root
  • 129 points Emergency-Prompt-

    Freud would say something along the lines of..

    This is an aggressive eruption of repressed instinctual conflict, crudely projected onto the rear of a Ford. The oversized flag suggests compensatory symbolism. The sign’s obsession with bodily functions indicates unresolved anal stage fixation. Also, this person desperately wants attention from a father figure.

    Right before laying down on his own couch.

    parent
    24 points serenwipiti

    I would say something like;

    “…this man, the driver of the vehicle, has obviously seen a 2014 documentary about ancient Egypt on the Aliens History Channel, and completely misunderstood the ancient Egyptian practice of inserting crocodile dung into the vaginal opening for contraceptive purposes.”

    “…evidently, the driver has unresolved son-crocodile competition for the psychosexual possession of his mother, resulting in a classic phallic stage fixation.”

    “His modified vehicle, a tangible representation of the lack of dissolution of his Oedipal fear: that of losing possession of his crocodile dung filled mother, and the fear of competition and castration by the father.”

    “The vehicle, in essence, becomes an ideological shield for the crocodile dung desires of his id, while providing a physical barrier from his fears of the outside world. In his neurotic grasping for integration, he creates a makeshift manifestation of his underdeveloped super-ego.”

    [snorts line of cocaine, one precisely the length of the average penis]

    parent root
    11 points OneTwoThreePooAndPee

    How very Vonnegutian of you. (Vonne-goo-shian).

    parent root
    5 points serenwipiti

    I am humbled and appreciative of the Vonne-gooch-ean comparison.

    OneTwoThreePooAndPee, you’ve made my day. ❤️

    parent root
    4 points OneTwoThreePooAndPee

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

    parent root
    3 points serenwipiti

    Well said.

    For now, I can only aspire to full-ass the job, bilateral self-enucliation, and all.

    parent root
    3 points reclusivegiraffe

    God I wish reddit still had free awards

    parent root
    20 points Few-Raise-1825

    Would he do a line of coke just before giving this pronouncement? Also, no mention of being jealous of his father and wanting to skrew his mother?

    parent root
    17 points CommentBetter

    You can do coke and be right at the same time 🤷‍♂️

    parent root
    4 points Emergency-Prompt-

    Hahaha. 🍻

    parent root
    2 points zR0B3ry2VAiH

    Well said

    parent root
    2 points CoffeeChocolateBoth

    Does he make love to his sofa?

    parent root
  • 33 points worldofsimulacra

    When the anal stage integration remains unresolved into adulthood r/Freud

    parent
  • 20 points [deleted]

    Yes, every time you do anal, "an angel loses it's wings". And you get coal in your stocking.

    parent
    5 points BaRahTay

    Hmm so I hate that we still burn coal but hear me out, “Franks Coal and Prosthetic Wing Emporium”? I can see the profits now !

    parent root
    2 points fingnumb

    https://iasip.app/3-VmKpZ8ykSbFCUIUXUSmA

    parent root
    3 points ANARCHISTofGOODtaste

    Bit everytime a bell rings an angel gets their wings. That's why my anal orgys require everyone to wear a bell necklace. Angle wings are going ro be flying around everywhere!

    parent root
  • 19 points marion85

    I honestly thought he had a KFC flag mounted on the back too for a half-second.

    parent
    12 points ARamenNoodle

    Anal for the Colonel ✌️

    parent root
    2 points SweaterUndulations

    KFC=anal lube

    parent root
  • 17 points daverapp

    LEGALIZED "ANAL"

    r/suspiciousquotes

    parent
  • 12 points Schmooto

    This guy and God can’t stop thinking about buttholes. Get some help

    parent
    4 points Randy-Waterhouse

    Well, God created buttholes. Not sure what this guy’s excuse is.

    parent root
    3 points serenwipiti

    Right? Like, you already have one, just grab a mirror and a flashlight…no need for a vehicular manifesto.

    parent root
  • 11 points medicdrl

    Thank you for citing your source

    parent
    6 points cromagnone

    I mean, otherwise it might just be bullshit.

    parent root
    3 points RealNiceKnife

    (National Geographic)

    parent root
  • 12 points ivarsiymeman

    I’m glad he clarified Ancient Egyptians, but the “and now” generalization has me confused. Is the latter due to demographic shift or redistricting?

    parent
  • 10 points Pratt_

    ✓ Random American flag

    ✓ KFC sign

    ✓ Pickup truck

    ✓ Dubious historical "fact" (tho surprisingly the source is apparently cited)

    ✓ Dubious political "fact"

    ✓ Dubious Grammar

    ✓ God mentioned for no reason

    ✓ A bunch of bumper stickers

    One of the most American pictures ever taken lmao

    parent
  • 7 points 155trimmer

    Is he citing his sources on the Egyptian animal crap claim? I don't see a citation about the US legalizing anal. I'm pretty sure that varies state by state.

    And why is "anal" in quotes?

    Ugh, why do I sound willing to argue with this nutjob? 😂

    parent
    5 points PopularDisplay7007

    Just send him a properly researched sign, will ya?

    parent root
    5 points burnafter3ading

    Actually, Egyptians used crocodile poop for female contraception.

    parent root
    3 points PopularDisplay7007

    Citation link, please.

    parent root
    6 points burnafter3ading

    https://www.popsci.com/science/crocodile-dung-birth-control/

    parent root
    3 points PopularDisplay7007

    Thanks so much!

    parent root
    2 points 155trimmer

    Haha, nice!

    parent root
    6 points Mountain_Proposal953

    Sodomy was federally illegal until the early 2000’s

    parent root
    2 points 155trimmer

    Huh. I didn't know that.

    parent root
  • 6 points Life-Appointment6515

    God's America

    parent
  • 5 points RegalBeagleX

    Did we legalize eating animals while having anal yet?

    parent
    2 points StuHast398

    They should go to the KFC and find out.

    parent root
  • 7 points Kaputnik1

    Ok, so he's projecting a lot of interest in:

    a) poop

    b) anuses

    parent
  • 6 points Rare-Bird-4353

    Ancient Egyptians could afford nicer ford ranger trucks

    parent
  • 4 points artful_todger_502

    Id be very surprised if this guy had less than 4 terabytes of homosexual scat/dildo porn on his hard drive

    parent
    5 points RealNiceKnife

    Oh this guy absolutely contributes to the "conservatives watch more kink-porn than anyone else" statistic.

    parent root
  • 4 points emets31

    You eat pieces of animal crap for breakfast?

    parent
  • 4 points MonopolyOnForce1

    god iz juge

    parent
  • 4 points Bunchasticks

    Does it say "national geographic" in parentheses? Where is he getting this information about ancient Egyptians eating animal feces

    parent
    3 points RealNiceKnife

    Yes. He's citing his source. haha

    parent root
  • 5 points NoDiscipline4640

    They always say 'crap'. I hate that word and I hate this cult.

    parent
  • 5 points tfpmcc

    Why are evangelicals so fixated on anal sex?

    parent
    3 points Ambitious_Hand_2861

    Bc they want it so bad but they're afraid of how much they'll love it.

    parent root
  • 4 points Individual-Heart-719

    This guy’s vote counts the same as yours.

    parent
  • 4 points Aessioml

    The church has been fine with anal sex since the dawn of time as long as the kids don't tell anyone about it

    parent
  • 5 points Phunwithscissors

    Is the KFC sign on the car aswell as the flag?

    parent
  • 9 points NotOurCat

    Just an observation, but how is it there seems to be a direct correlation between mental illness and god.

    parent
    7 points soupwhoreman

    Religion and receiving "messages from God" is a very common theme in schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a specific mental illness with known characteristics, which is why you see it manifest so similarly so often, and why there are enough cars for this sub to exist.

    parent root
    4 points isolatedheathen

    Well when you live your life for any invisible sky entity that has a whole bunch of rules and some of them overlap and contradict themselves. You basically start your existence with mental illness. Now add to that feelings of shame, inadequacy and fear of damnation what you get is shit like this.

    parent root
  • 3 points Excellent-Charge5296

    I have a lot of questions

    parent
    3 points monochrome83

    You want to ask this guy questions?? On purpose?

    Please don't.

    parent root
  • 3 points Theylovemychorizo

    He has a sticker that just says DONATE. Donate to what/whom?

    parent
    2 points amyel26

    Hole pics for 'research'

    parent root
  • 3 points ButteredHubter

    You know anal sex isn’t really legal everywhere

    parent
  • 3 points Miserable-Golf4277

    Are those 2 statements supposed to have anything to do with each other, or did the guy just put a couple random shower thoughts on his truck?

    parent
  • 3 points SJB3717

    It looks like the Colonel is laughing at his crazy ass

    parent
  • 3 points Magpies11

    He's just jealous because he has huge hemorrhoids.

    parent
  • 3 points Zurrascaped

    I think we can all agree the core message here is: Anal sex, woah! God!

    parent
  • 3 points AdventurousRoll9798

    Well go eat some dog shit and stop worrying who/how other people fuck.

    parent
  • 3 points That_Things_Good

    Dude connects non-existent dots just so he can put "anal sex" on the back of his truck.

    Well, I guess we all need goals in life....

    parent
  • 3 points DoktahDoktah

    You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

    parent
  • 3 points Litzz11

    You guys, he's taking donations.

    parent
  • 3 points kapaipiekai

    I think any reference to ancient Egypt gives a schizo ride +2 (scripture gives it +1)

    parent
  • 3 points burnafter3ading

    Actually, Egyptians used crocodile dung as contraception. I'd love to let the driver know.

    parent
  • 3 points Wife4u2

    I guess he does not know his wife enjoys anal.

    parent
  • 3 points Old-Climate2655

    Ooh let me try a MAGA Haiku.

    Ancient Romans payed taxes for roads

    Now USA makes roads out of asphalt. Whoa!

    God is judge

    parent
    2 points HahaNoir2

    👏👏👏

    parent root
  • 3 points Version_Two

    He puts it in quotations like it's this crazy new thing.

    parent
  • 3 points Ksh_667

    Am I missing some connection somewhere? It's deeper than I am 😝🤔

    parent
  • 3 points Open_Mortgage_4645

    What does he mean by "legalized"? Gay guys have been boning since forever. I don't know of any legislation that legalized something that's already legal.

    parent
  • 3 points Kriss3d

    That reads like god wants to watch us have anal sex.

    parent
  • 2 points foxontherox

    Whoa indeed..

    parent
  • 2 points Perfect-Whole9465

    I remember this picture from years ago. Whoa! God is judge.

    parent
  • 2 points KappaJoe760

    Im pretty sure Anal sex has always been legal no? I just dont tell anybody about it

    parent
    3 points bedpimp

    Historically there have been a lot of places that would send men to federal pound you in the ass prison for having anal sex.

    parent root
    2 points monochrome83

    Oh, the irony

    parent root
    2 points monochrome83

    There are some southern states that still have anti-sodomy laws on the books. In fact, I think most of them still do.

    If you have to do it, and not tell anybody, it's not legal.

    parent root
  • 2 points zombieNinjas_69420

    But... Why is anal in quotes?

    parent
  • 2 points whereyouleftit

    I think he is pushing his 1st Amendment rights. Time and place. Little kids can read it.

    parent
  • 2 points phun-key

    This isn’t schizophrenia - the key word there is DONATE. Just another grifter in the era of megagrifting.

    parent
  • 2 points Jutch_Cassidy

    Racism- check Flag- check Truck- check KFC- check

    parent
    3 points PopularDisplay7007

    Just as if it’s a cut-out character of a Texas Republican.

    parent root
  • 2 points circuit_breaker

    God will judge the anal sex I have?

    Whoa, indeed

    parent
  • 2 points pupbuck1

    What does this even mean

    parent
  • 2 points Daphnerose22

    I'm assuming (but judging because God is judge) that this person is referring to Lawrence v. Texas (2003) and against this by their truck and flag.... But it's hard to tell..

    WHOA!!!

    parent
  • 2 points notyourmothersdino

    Connecting the dots the rest of us can't even imagine.

    parent
  • 2 points doctormustafa

    I’m an American who uses anal sex for medicine. Whoa!

    parent
  • 2 points Ok_Elephant2777

    Can’t address the Ancient Egyptian medicine claim, but I’ve got a little piece of wisdom for this guy: Just because something is legal, doesn’t mean you have to do it. I don’t care for it myself, but if my neighbor and his boyfriend want to try it, how does that hurt me?

    parent
  • 2 points StaysForDays

    As Colonel Sanders looks on with condemnation…

    parent
  • 2 points YouDumbZombie

    Lmfao what does that even mean? What's the correlation? Also anal sex is technically illegal in some states.

    parent
  • 2 points Pieces-Of-Eight_

    I’m just surprised there is a KFC still open in that town, why with all the anal sex happening there apparently..

    parent
  • 2 points Such_Collection3252

    For someone that believes that “God is Judge” this person seems to be making a lot of judgments.

    parent
    2 points Mountain_Proposal953

    Conservatives are known for the planks in their eyes

    parent root
  • 2 points Harlander77

    I'm honestly impressed there was even an attempt to cite sources here

    parent
  • 2 points the_real_Beavis999

    Hmm anal.. oh look a KFC.

    parent
  • 2 points Accomplished-Run-691

    I was like, "What does the Colonel have against anal?".

    parent
  • 2 points youcuntry

    I’ve been doing anal before it was legal…

    parent
  • 2 points JapWarrior1700

    Well first off, imagine driving around town flying an American flag off one side of your truck and a KFC sign off the other!

    parent
  • 2 points YourOldPalBendy

    ... are there not pills and/or similar treatments with traces of fecal matter (for the microbiome, specifically) for medicinal purposes in modern society because they... work?

    Sorry to curse anyone who wasn't aware of it with that knowledge, but... you know. >>

    Not that that's... the most important thing to focus on. Obviously. >> But it was my first thought (especially since it was a thing I first learned about via someone else*'s reddit comment somewhere. Because of course I did).

    parent
  • 2 points AdministrativeWay241

    The most expensive coffee in the world is cat shit.

    parent
  • 2 points Novibesmatter

    He’s got a point 

    parent
  • 2 points ialsohaveadobro

    Wait, do other people eat with their genitals? Have I been doing this wrong all my life?

    parent
  • 2 points antifaisnotagroup

    They’ve improperly cited their source. The citation should provide the date of the NG issue and the page number.
    Even I know that. Is that a drawing of mountains?

    parent
  • 2 points NitroRoller

    “Now”? This man thinks obergefell v Hodges was to legalize anal? LMAO

    parent
  • 2 points Wisco

    I'm often struck by how weird it is that homophobes don't know blowjobs exist.

    parent
  • 2 points Neon_Nuxx

    So relieved I'm not breaking any laws

    parent
  • 2 points Cool_Relationship847

    /r/suspiciousquotes

    parent
  • 2 points uselesslyalive

    I think Colonel Sanders has something to say about that ...

    parent
  • 2 points OhSighRiss

    I’m not exactly sure what he is trying to say here

    parent
  • 2 points ItsJoeMomma

    What, exactly, do those two things have to do with each other? And does this person (and everyone like him) really think that if we made anal sex illegal again that everyone would stop having anal sex?

    parent
  • 1 points Panem-et-circenses25

    Whoa!

    parent
  • 1 points DustTheOtter

    God is judge 😰

    parent
  • 1 points alqimist

    Why the quotation marks, tho?

    parent
  • 1 points Kodiak_85

    Whoa!

    parent
  • 1 points SilentPangolin4277

    I wonder what the Colonel thinks?

    parent
  • 1 points KinseyH

    That's an old man's truck.

    parent
  • 1 points OneTwoThreePooAndPee

    Whoa!

    parent
  • 1 points Snazzle-Frazzle

    Whoa!

    parent
  • 1 points NuclearCleanUp1

    Whack...

    parent
  • 1 points AcadienDC

    How true.

    parent
  • 1 points AdAccomplished3670

    Was it illegal?

    parent
  • 1 points doomtownpunx

    😅👌

    parent
  • Hacker News
    • Top
    • Best
    • New
    • Ask
    • Show
    • Jobs
  • beta Hugging Face
    • Posts
  • Reddit
    • r/programming
    • r/technology
    • r/science
    • r/news
    • r/gaming