So 2 weeks ago he attempted suicide, left goodbye messages to them. Me and my brother are not close and I have had him blocked after I moved out because he was forcing me to get on a mortgage with him and saying I ruined his life cause I didn’t comply.

He has paranoid thoughts, on the day he attempted ambulance found him drunk and lying on the street, and apparently refused to let them take blood, saying they were giving him shock. I came to see him next day in the hospital he was not himself. Laughing awkwardly, mum stayed with him as they wouldn’t let more than one person inside, he said to her they are doing surgery on him. He said to the nurses his organs are ruined.

Then he was transferred to mental health hospital, he said after few days he was fine, he seemed to be ok, and then they started meds, last few days he seems to be in his head, don’t think he has spoken to his friends. He messaged my mum that his friends sent tablets for him to our house and to bring them in. No tablets were sent.

I don’t know how to be there for him, I do visit when I can, and try to ask him questions, I do feel awkward, and I don’t even what to talk about. Sometimes I just sit in silence. I asked about what he had for dinner, sometimes he doesn’t respond.

I moved out in August, and before that he seemed ok but he told me some stuff was going on at work told me that people were after him, that they were threatening to come to our house. It seems like was drinking quite a bit. In all my life up until this year, I have never seen him be paranoid or express paranoid thoughts, my mum would have told me. It’s shocking for me. I hope he will better but seeing him not well makes me lose hope.

I know life won’t be the same for him, I feel for my parents as they are in their 60s. Any advice would be appreciated.

  • Im sorry to hear this, my brother has it too.

    I would say you are already in the right place to start understanding it better, have a read through some of the posts on here and it might help you understand more about his illness. I wish I could give you a short answer or solution but honestly every person with schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder is different.

    I can see that you aren’t close - but if now is a time you want to start repairing your relationship with him, you need to know that this illness and medication changes their personality so he may not be the same brother that you remember.

    Some helpful advice would be , don’t try to argue with his delusions or try to reason with him. it will just create family drama and confusion for him, or make him turn on you and he might stop communicating.

    There’s a good book called “I’m not sick I don’t need help” which you can read online and it talks about how you should approach conversations with people who suffer psychosis.

    Another thing is to make sure you take care of yourself. As family members all we can do is support our loved ones and try to enjoy the good moments, we can’t fix them.

    Talk to family and friends about how you are feeling. It’s uncomfortable at first, because people don’t know how to react when you tell them your brother has psychosis , but it’s healthy for you to get it off your chest and talk about it to friends ( and your relatives who are going through the same thing )

    Happy to chat if you have any questions or just need to vent, so sorry your family is going through this too x

    parent
  • parent

  • I see you've already received excellent advice including a suggestion to read Dr. Amador's book "I am not sick. I don't need help."

    Read this as soon as possible. At the top of this subreddit there are links to many good references, I suggest you read or watch them all. The more knowledge you have the better it will be for you and your brother.

    Hopefully he will be compliant and take his prescribed meds. Unfortunately many people with schizophrenia also have a condition called Anosognosia which basically means that they don't recognize that they are ill. It's not denial or being stubborn or insisting that they have X as opposed to Z. People with anosognosia simply cannot recognize (or be convinced) that they are ill. This often results in refusing treatment and meds, which is something I hope your brother doesn't have.

    One of the best things you can do now is to check on mom and dad and make sure they are OK. As his primary contract and care givers (I'm assuming that's the case) they will need support. Could be simple like doing a grocery shop for them, or making sure they keep up with their own doctor appointments.

    This is a long-term chronic condition so you need to allow yourself and everyone involved the time and space they need to process what is happening.

    I am very sorry to hear about your brother and hope he responds well to treatment and cooperates with his treatment team.

    You've found the right place to ask questions or share your concerns. Don't hesitate to reach back out.

    parent

  • My advice is to reach out for support for you, for your parents, and for your brother. If you are in the US you might find pockets of support in the various non-profits that have sprung up. NAMI is a solid organization and i would start there.

    I believe homelessness could be prevented on the big scale with immediate family support including therapy and even when the person who is ill is not asking for support and indeed rejects help. This is when families get really stressed

    Hugs to you. This disease will test you. It will challenge your best self so take extra care with your and your family’s needs

    parent