My older sister (44) has gotten much worse in the past year. She won't leave the house because she thinks someone will come after her, and she's obsessed with the idea that our house could blow up because we have gas appliances. Today we found out that she's been secretly turning off the gas valve under the stove when not in use. Nothing happened, and apparently it's a common practice in other countries, but the fact that she messed with the gas in secret is terrifying. A few months ago she bought a lock from my mom's amazon account without permission and tried installing it when no one was home. We already had a lock on our front door, but she was afraid someone would pick it, so she got one that could only be operated from the inside. We got home in the middle of her struggle to install it.
Both her and I live in my mom's house. My mom and I don't know what to do. Is it still safe to have her live with us? How will we know when she crosses that line, and what do we do when she does? Maybe the fact that I'm writing this post means I already know she crossed that line. We don't want her to be on the street.
The first step is to try LEAP, a method pioneered by Xavier Amadore. You can start with conversations about how she feels about the house, and perhaps work up to suggesting that she could talk to a doctor to help her feel less anxious about the gas or about intruders.
https://www.nami.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/I_am_not_sick_excerpt.pdf
It's difficult to get people who aren't at risk of harming themselves or others help if they don't want it.
Speak to her doctor about this
She doesn't have one. She hasn't left the house in over a year and she doesn't trust doctors.
That’s the first place to begin. She’s unmedicated and no this won’t get better till she gets help.
But how do we legally get help for someone that won't accept it?
Technically her actions make her a danger to herself and others. You can get her involuntarily committed via 311 or 988 and a mental health crisis team, but you can try LEAP first and see if you can get to her agree to medication etc.
Call the NAMI helpline, they give better advice.
The comment below sums it up. This is escalating and it will become completely unmanageable for you and mom to care for her. If she is unmedicated and untreated, she is dangerous to herself and others, full stop. Her paranoid delusions make her more likely to engage in dangerous or violent behaviour.
You get her into a hospital and you go home and breathe for a fucking minute dude. YOU breathe. YOU take care of your damn self for a damn minute.
Just for FYI, not directly relevant to your situation, but generally helpful:
A really really good resource is "Surviving Schizophrenia: A Family Manual" The audiobook is available through premium Spotify, FWIW.
Sorry, have you tried to take her for a medication adjustment? Talk to her psychiatrist about this
She doesn't have a doctor or medication. She hasn't left the house in over a year and she doesn't trust doctors.
She's psychotic and delusional meaning has lost touch with reality and her mind is being influenced by voices. You call involuntarily call the police or whoever to help you take her to a psychiatric facility where she will be admitted and treated for a while, I think psych meds can make a difference in her life. Many patients with delusions first resist treatment but it's delivered by force initially but there's a symptom called anosognosia where psychotic patients lack insight into their illness but it can be treated.
She has to be hospitalized. You can start with taking her to the ER, and they’ll know what to do. The symptoms get much worse, the longer it goes untreated.
Install a camera so when your not home you can still keep an eye on her. Try to make it discreet so it doesn’t make her paranoid worst.