My brother and his “girlfriend” (she’s a single mom) are claiming they will be kicked out in the middle of winter in Minnesota. They are both crack and meth addicts. I’m afraid of him doing something like Nick Reiner
Honestly it’s hard to tell without context (I’m guessing he’s living with your folks?), but it sounds more like he’s wanting to run away than threaten anyone necessarily.
If I were in your shoes, here’s what I personally would do:
1) get a fully security system (I like Simplisafe, personally) to protect their residence.
2) make police aware of the situation and make a report to CPS. This sounds like scary territory for those kids if they’re in her custody.
3) tell your parents to meet with an estate lawyer. Get advice on how to handle prohibiting him from access to their money directly when they pass by setting up a special needs trust. A lawyer can help with navigating the process, making it iron clad, and advise on next steps for your parents.
4) this is hard and it’s scary but I’d work with a professional in adult services or the psych field to figure out how best to proceed. The way your brother talks reminds me of my brother—in our case, we got him set up with local services but we stopped protecting him from rock bottom. I can’t say it’d work for everyone but my brother got a big ol slice of humble pie when my mom stopped saving him from the consequences of his actions and he began to discover that he wasn’t at the helm of his ship the way he thought he was. He’s now in a group home instead of living independently, which is the best thing for him but the last change he wanted. Again, maybe not safe advice for everyone and I don’t know your brother, but the arrogant shit bag stunted teenager attitude (maybe I’m projecting) has been fairly common in my experience when an ill addict believes they won’t be left to drown. Let him leave and figure it out on his own, protect yourselves, and plan for potential scenarios as best as you can.
Please advise your parents to not respond and do not let them move in. If he does move in call adult protective services to protect your parents if they do let him but hopefully they refuse since he’s not safe right now. Call police if all else fails due to drugs. They need to be no contact if he’s off meds and on drugs in active psychosis especially if they are elderly. I will help my kids as much as possible IF they are taking prescribed medications as directed (for my son includes schizophrenia shots every three weeks) and not self medicated.
basically until our lawmakers make institutionalization easier this is the best and safest path. Dealing w schizophrenic rages and delusions for years and kicking out my brother threatening to murder me, he made his own decisions, illness or not my own safety was in jeopardy. Althought i wouldnt phrase it like the person did the sentiment is correct, oh and my advice is to never let them move in with you, no matter how bad you feel or how manipulative they can be.
He has schizophrenia but refuses meds and doesn’t believe the diagnosis. They are safe until they’re not. They are mid 70s and he’s 35. I would not one thing past him
Do your parents share your concerns, or do they see him as more harmless? I can't recall if you say you live nearby. Do you? Can you intervene and do what's necessary to protect your parents, their property and money; and get some treatment for your brother. Are the police aware of him and that he might act up?
They do share the same concerns, they’ve had a lock on their bedroom door for 15 years. I live out of state and I am the only other family they have. The police are extremely familiar with my brother but they don’t know about this latest situation but I am wanting them to maybe patrol their neighborhood at night or something
If they're familiar with him it certainly wouldn't hurt to bring them up to speed on this latest message (and whatever else is happening) just so they have a heads up.
So very sorry you are all going through this......
What money? Your parents owe him money or inheritance?
It's very scary and I can relate. My boyfriend is a schizophrenic and recently Relapsed on meth and keeps using once a week.
I didn't tell.him.i know he's still using because I don't want to trigger him or make him think I'm leaving him (which I will eventually, need another paycheck before I can kick him out, unfortunately. Fucking stupid I have to sacrifice my safety for money right now). He already said he's psycho over me now so I can't ever leave him..I can't believe this is my life right now. I digress, but anyway....
One of the best things to do is agree with him, and don't feed into his delusions, don't tell him he's crazy or unhinged, nothing like that. Make him feel like you're on his side in a way or at least validate his feelings.
Is there some money y'all can give him now to satisfy him, get him away from your parents?
I’m sorry I didn’t put the full context. My brother has had 4 DUIs and had to surrender his drivers license and sell
His car, he signed it over to my mom ( he owed them money, DESTROYED hotels with their credit card on file) so there is about $2k left and he’s demanding it because him and his are supposedly getting evicted, mind you they can barely stand each other for more than 24 hours together- seriously. He called cps on her and showed them a video of her smoking crack. My parents will not let him move back in (basically because I told them they shouldn’t) we already know they’re going to spend it on drugs as my mom has bought them food and other basics (which I told her not to) they are elderly and not able to understand a security system and I am the only remaining child as my other sibling died in 2014 from alcoholism when she was 32 and I live out of state and feel helpless
I do not understand why you are afraid your brother would do something bad with the given context. Just because he is schizophrenic does not automatically mean he is violent, unless he has a violent history why are you worried? Some context would definitely be good here.
There is a lot of freedom to be found in not reacting. There will be an "emergency" every day if you respond to it.
Honestly it’s hard to tell without context (I’m guessing he’s living with your folks?), but it sounds more like he’s wanting to run away than threaten anyone necessarily.
If I were in your shoes, here’s what I personally would do: 1) get a fully security system (I like Simplisafe, personally) to protect their residence. 2) make police aware of the situation and make a report to CPS. This sounds like scary territory for those kids if they’re in her custody. 3) tell your parents to meet with an estate lawyer. Get advice on how to handle prohibiting him from access to their money directly when they pass by setting up a special needs trust. A lawyer can help with navigating the process, making it iron clad, and advise on next steps for your parents. 4) this is hard and it’s scary but I’d work with a professional in adult services or the psych field to figure out how best to proceed. The way your brother talks reminds me of my brother—in our case, we got him set up with local services but we stopped protecting him from rock bottom. I can’t say it’d work for everyone but my brother got a big ol slice of humble pie when my mom stopped saving him from the consequences of his actions and he began to discover that he wasn’t at the helm of his ship the way he thought he was. He’s now in a group home instead of living independently, which is the best thing for him but the last change he wanted. Again, maybe not safe advice for everyone and I don’t know your brother, but the arrogant shit bag stunted teenager attitude (maybe I’m projecting) has been fairly common in my experience when an ill addict believes they won’t be left to drown. Let him leave and figure it out on his own, protect yourselves, and plan for potential scenarios as best as you can.
This is a text from my brother who is on drugs and has schizophrenia to my elderly parents.
Are they considering letting him move in?
Thankfully no
Then I think this isn’t something you need to react to. Just be aware.
I’m worried about him forcing his way In or waiting for them outside or something
Who is the text from and to?
It's scary. All you can do is voice your opinion and set up a safety plan with them.
No context of the situation
Please advise your parents to not respond and do not let them move in. If he does move in call adult protective services to protect your parents if they do let him but hopefully they refuse since he’s not safe right now. Call police if all else fails due to drugs. They need to be no contact if he’s off meds and on drugs in active psychosis especially if they are elderly. I will help my kids as much as possible IF they are taking prescribed medications as directed (for my son includes schizophrenia shots every three weeks) and not self medicated.
basically until our lawmakers make institutionalization easier this is the best and safest path. Dealing w schizophrenic rages and delusions for years and kicking out my brother threatening to murder me, he made his own decisions, illness or not my own safety was in jeopardy. Althought i wouldnt phrase it like the person did the sentiment is correct, oh and my advice is to never let them move in with you, no matter how bad you feel or how manipulative they can be.
This is the Schizofamilies subreddit, I just want you to be sure where you are.
Your brother certainly sounds like he had drug issues. Is he also diagnosed with schizophrenia and off his meds? Undiagnosed? What is going on here?
If you feel your parents are threatened by your brother that's a matter for the police, isn't it?
Are your parents safe right now?
If your brother is a danger to himself or others or about to break into your parents home than again, you need to call the police.
He has schizophrenia but refuses meds and doesn’t believe the diagnosis. They are safe until they’re not. They are mid 70s and he’s 35. I would not one thing past him
Do your parents share your concerns, or do they see him as more harmless? I can't recall if you say you live nearby. Do you? Can you intervene and do what's necessary to protect your parents, their property and money; and get some treatment for your brother. Are the police aware of him and that he might act up?
They do share the same concerns, they’ve had a lock on their bedroom door for 15 years. I live out of state and I am the only other family they have. The police are extremely familiar with my brother but they don’t know about this latest situation but I am wanting them to maybe patrol their neighborhood at night or something
If they're familiar with him it certainly wouldn't hurt to bring them up to speed on this latest message (and whatever else is happening) just so they have a heads up.
So very sorry you are all going through this......
What money? Your parents owe him money or inheritance? It's very scary and I can relate. My boyfriend is a schizophrenic and recently Relapsed on meth and keeps using once a week.
I didn't tell.him.i know he's still using because I don't want to trigger him or make him think I'm leaving him (which I will eventually, need another paycheck before I can kick him out, unfortunately. Fucking stupid I have to sacrifice my safety for money right now). He already said he's psycho over me now so I can't ever leave him..I can't believe this is my life right now. I digress, but anyway....
One of the best things to do is agree with him, and don't feed into his delusions, don't tell him he's crazy or unhinged, nothing like that. Make him feel like you're on his side in a way or at least validate his feelings.
Is there some money y'all can give him now to satisfy him, get him away from your parents?
I’m sorry I didn’t put the full context. My brother has had 4 DUIs and had to surrender his drivers license and sell His car, he signed it over to my mom ( he owed them money, DESTROYED hotels with their credit card on file) so there is about $2k left and he’s demanding it because him and his are supposedly getting evicted, mind you they can barely stand each other for more than 24 hours together- seriously. He called cps on her and showed them a video of her smoking crack. My parents will not let him move back in (basically because I told them they shouldn’t) we already know they’re going to spend it on drugs as my mom has bought them food and other basics (which I told her not to) they are elderly and not able to understand a security system and I am the only remaining child as my other sibling died in 2014 from alcoholism when she was 32 and I live out of state and feel helpless
I do not understand why you are afraid your brother would do something bad with the given context. Just because he is schizophrenic does not automatically mean he is violent, unless he has a violent history why are you worried? Some context would definitely be good here.
Yes he does have a history esp against my dad, an insane temper especially now that he is truly out of money
Ok then I would definitely be worried because now he has like nothing left to lose.