I am writing this to seek advice regarding a close friend I have known for a long time. She has always been very intelligent, with a logical mind and excellent writing skills. However, over the past six months, her personality and behavior have changed to the point where I can no longer recognize her.
About six months ago, she claimed to have had a near-death experience, though I cannot confirm if this actually happened. Since then, she insists she is in direct communication with God and has gained healing and prophetic powers. Although I am a person of faith, I find it difficult to see this as a spiritual awakening; to me, it appears to be a mental health crisis.
One of the most confusing aspects is her intellectual ability. Her writing remains sophisticated and her vocabulary is still rich. She recently told me she can now logically prove the existence of God. To a stranger reading her blog, she might seem like a deeply devoted and articulate mystic. However, knowing her well, I can see her intelligence being used to justify her delusions. She uses logic not to find truth, but to build a defense for her distorted reality.
Earlier this year, she was paranoid, believing that an AI company was spying on her. She has since told me that those thoughts were not true, but that belief has simply been replaced by an intense, unrelenting euphoria. She has been in this high-energy state for months. She used to avoid social media, but now she posts public updates constantly and reaches out to people she has not spoken to in years.
I am particularly concerned about her behavior toward me. She often tells me not to feel pressured to reply to her messages, yet she will suddenly call me out of the blue without any prior notice. Even when I do not respond to create boundaries, she continues this pattern.
She has also started weaving me into her "prophecies." She insists I will come into a large amount of money soon and tells me I must do charity work to prepare. She claims my mother is an angel and warns me to stay away from the occult because she believes she is fighting a spiritual battle. She has even started using my initials in her public posts, creating a narrative of a connection that only she perceives.
She lives with her boyfriend, but he seems to be going along with her claims of spiritual experiences rather than seeing them as medical symptoms. It feels like everyone is watching her state of high energy without realizing how detached from reality she has become.
I feel a profound sense of grief. I have spent months worrying about her, but her current behavior and the loss of her original personality are alarms I can no longer ignore.
I am looking for advice on:
How to deal with a delusional person who uses their intelligence to twist every attempt at a logical conversation.
Whether this state of persistent euphoria is common in the early stages of schizophrenia or similar disorders.
I feel as though I am mourning someone who is still alive. Any insight from those who have dealt with similar situations would be greatly appreciated.
+ I should also mention her growing obsession with numbers. She finds significance in almost every digit she encounters—whether it is the time on a clock, a car license plate, or random numbers on the street. She is convinced that these are not mere coincidences but are "divine synchronicities" or coded messages sent specifically to her. She spends a lot of energy connecting these numbers to her personal life and her spiritual missions, seeing patterns where there are none.
Hi. I think it's wonderful that you are concerned for your friend, but I think you may be limited in how much you can help.
No one can obviously give you a diagnosis, but I might suggest you also cross-post and take a read through families of bipolar disorder. You keep mentioning high-energy and retention of cognition, and ability to at least so what make sensible thoughts. Many people don't realize that up to 40% of people in manic episodes can have delusions and other psychotic symptoms. It can very difficult to initially tell the difference between bipolar and schizoaffective, bipolar type until someone is treated and mood symptoms abate and psychosis remains. But there are also other diagnoses like cyclothymia, schizotypal and schizoid personality disorders that could fit her criteria. You really don't know unless she goes to see a therapist, and that's up to her.
You may try to communicate using the LEAP method, and you might also try to communicate with her partner with LEAP as well.
https://www.nami.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/I_am_not_sick_excerpt.pdf
I also want to make a statement that if the symptoms aren't causing her any functional impairment, causing legal , health, or financial issues, she has the right to live her life as she wants. If she doesn't feel she needs medication or therapy, and her partner feels she is ok, then she can't be forced to accept help.
Good luck! 💛
I 2nd this, my mother is Schizoaffective, she had schizophrenia and bipolar disorder is what the doctors told us. She has been off like this for the past 13 years, progressively getting worse until we finally could get her on some medication this year and things have been far, far better for everyone including her.
If you want to try ti get her to go get some help, my advice would be to NOT bring up the delusions or psychotic behavior. For people with delusions and/or hallucinations, its hard to tell them it isnt real. Its like trying to convince someone we dont breathe air, itd be really hard. Try to get them to visit someone for another issue, its far easier. Thats how we had convinced my mother to go into the doctors since she thought nothing was wrong and was terrified the doctors were going to steal her heart and her unborn angel.
Best of luck !!
Thank you xoxo
Thanks! I totally agree with you. As long as she's happy, I'm okay with letting her live her life.
I think you’ll find these resources helpful as well.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SchizoFamilies/s/TEIugn49ni
Thank you!
I had a family member become profoundly delusional a few years ago and it has been a massive loss. The grief is real. They are no longer the same person and every conversation gets swept into delusional theories or a discussion of what signs they received - songs in stores, in the car, numbers meaning something, a look that someone gave them. They alternately are being followed by bad guys or good guys. They’ve been “hacked” but AI/god is caring for them.
They sought medical help because initially they were extremely paranoid and not sleeping and that was a great reason to see a doctor (not sleeping). But there have been few improvements because he doesn’t think there is a problem. Which makes sense, the problem itself means he has no insight. He’s profoundly offended he’s been diagnosed with delusion disorder! The doctor just isn’t smart enough/ready to know the truth etc.
I’ve gone soft no contact because I’d wake up to 50 texts if I messaged about anything. And they have developed a mystical condescending tone of superiority about what “they know” and it’s exhausting. I don’t want to listen to long monologues about all the topics. I’ve said it’s very hard to keep in touch regularly when we clearly live in different realities. Genuinely, we can’t find common ground because there is none. They’ve mostly accepted this but do complain if we cross paths in person. I just say “yeah the situation is really unfortunate”.
It’s very very sad and I worry about their future as their functioning disrupted.
So, all to say, I think you are right to worried and your grief makes sense. But if she isn’t a threat to herself or others no intervention could be forced and as someone else said in the comments, she gets to choose how to live. Even if she is choosing with compromised cognition. Hopefully her boyfriend sees her regularly and can assess if things have deteriorated.