i feel like i put no effort into trying to be in a relationship. i also feel like i have a very very low sex drive and that i only want a relationship so other people can see that i have one. i understand aspects of why it would be nice, and im really hoping this doesn’t come off as shallow, but i can’t date someone im not SUPER interested in, otherwise i lose motivation to text back, make plans, etc. is this part of SCT, or am i just an asshole? or both?
Blood check your hormones
Maybe you’re A-sexual as well? It’s okay to not prioritize romantic relationships. How are you in your other relationships (friends)?
This post has really stuck in my thoughts the last couple of days. I want to date, but as you say, unless the chemistry is unbelievable immediately (happens every few years), I just don't have the energy and drive to put into dating.
Once in a relationship, after the honeymoon period, I've sabotaged things more than once by being resentful of the energy they require from me.
Big hugs to all y'all also struggling.
it's not being an asshole to not want to date someone. it's possible you're somewhere on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum, it's possible you have a low libido naturally or due to a hormone problem.
it's okay to not be that interested in being in a relationship. if it's not for you, it's not for you - don't force yourself to be with someone because it feels like the right thing to do, because that isn't fair to either of you.