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OP's BIO:
I lift weights occasionally and call it therapy, dress like I’m in three separate identity crises, and mistake self-awareness for growth. My hobbies include overconfidence and poor decisions. Mental health is “functional but posting here voluntarily.” Be cruel — I deserve it.
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like one of those gurus who sells fake courses on how to make money fast with crypto and have a podcast where you are openly against homosexuality, but are secretly on Grindr and want to take part in a gay foursome.
It’s the 2022 cum guzzling championship’s second runner up. He drank gallon and a half of cum but only came 3rd. Don’t worry he came in his pants when he saw a real man.
It's insecurity like this showcased in a face like that that makes me double down on raising my son to be a confident, intelligent, respectable young man one day.
These posts with self judgment in the bio are getting old. We just need simple facts. We’re the ones who should be telling you how ugly, depressing, and deplorable you are, not you having self reflection time.
Look like a regular at a muay Thai or BJJ dojo for a few years before you realized your sensei was a phoney. Doesn't stop you from putting your purple belt on your resume, and it is definitely coming up on the first date. 🥷
And here you see the distinguished British gentleman is on his way to the Limp Bizkit concert to engage in sexual relations with other like-minded individuals.
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP's BIO:
I lift weights occasionally and call it therapy, dress like I’m in three separate identity crises, and mistake self-awareness for growth. My hobbies include overconfidence and poor decisions. Mental health is “functional but posting here voluntarily.” Be cruel — I deserve it.
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Your family makes concerted efforts to ensure you’re never alone in a room with your nieces or female cousins
"Uncle "Street" is coming over, you need to go put on baggy sweat pants and an oversized hoodie. NOW."
This man masterbates to his own farts, just whacking off in the aroma of himself.
While kissing a poster of Cillian Murphy and repeatedly screaming, "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY BLINDERS!"
He also looks like he eats cereal with a fork.
You look like one of those gurus who sells fake courses on how to make money fast with crypto and have a podcast where you are openly against homosexuality, but are secretly on Grindr and want to take part in a gay foursome.
Hates gay guys, but will suck dick for meth.
You’re the reason women cover their drinks.
You look like you buy Rohypnol wholesale.
Ive said it a thousand times and I'll say it again: A BEARD IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A CHIN!!!
Comment section here is somehow even emptier than every aspect of your personal life.
Your whole personality is fist bumping, cat calling high schoolers, and cheap cologne isn't it?
Acquaintances have asked you to leave your acoustic guitar at home more than once
Talk about white bread. No wonder you can’t even get roasted. The most interesting thing about you is your ugly, stupid hat.
Get your brains working and see if you can figure out a roast.
That was a roast, an unnecessarily, overly complicated one. But it’s still a roast.
Which do you like more: Axe Body Spray, stealing catalytic converters or meth..? 😒
Let's not...in fact, let's just continue to ignore the walking skid mark.
But he is self aware. That means we should take pitty on him.
You think you’re hot … but simply you’re not
You’re roasting yourself with your choices of headgear
Only able to achieve an erection if Peaky Blinders is on in the background.
20 snap stories a day, 0 actual friends
Jerking off men in public restrooms doesn't constitute lifting weights.
Looks like God hit the space bar between each of your teeth.
strong crypto grifter vibes
There are 5 layers to your "beard'" and none of them are blended.
You look like a barbed wire tattoo around the bicep of the world's biggest Kid Rock fan wished upon a star to become a real boy.
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These pictures make Richard Simmons look straight…
I imagine someone like you has a Truck Nutz budget for the year.
It’s the 2022 cum guzzling championship’s second runner up. He drank gallon and a half of cum but only came 3rd. Don’t worry he came in his pants when he saw a real man.
What is that last slide?...Go home 47
Your target is dignity, and it’s already escaped
You look like a humanized Neanderthal
Any grown man with his tongue out in pictures like this and thinks it looks good is so far beyond gone it’s not funny
I would roast you but my mom said I’m not allowed to burn trash
My mama didn't teach me that. So I'ma go on ahead and roast him
I can almost smell ur hot breath in the third one
You look like you have multiple personality disorders.
It's insecurity like this showcased in a face like that that makes me double down on raising my son to be a confident, intelligent, respectable young man one day.
Agent 6-7
You pay for Wes Watson’s training courses
You def chewed on rocks as a child
These posts with self judgment in the bio are getting old. We just need simple facts. We’re the ones who should be telling you how ugly, depressing, and deplorable you are, not you having self reflection time.
Look like a regular at a muay Thai or BJJ dojo for a few years before you realized your sensei was a phoney. Doesn't stop you from putting your purple belt on your resume, and it is definitely coming up on the first date. 🥷
You look like you tell people you are from the UK but can't spell it.
Kinda like Peaky Blinders but just makes me wish I was blind
Is that what your dad told your mom?
What insult could I make that would be better than God’s when he gave you that hairline
Let's not and say we did.
Dude so gay he snacks on dick
The only reason he has a beard, is so you can tell his head and nick a part ,
They are pretty much joined together
The dude that occupies the squat rack for a hour
If you didn't have a beard it would be impossible to tell where your neck ends and your face begins
If Andrew Tate had a dumber younger brother
Your future wife will need an impressive health insurance plan
try again?, why did you try in the first place ?
And here you see the distinguished British gentleman is on his way to the Limp Bizkit concert to engage in sexual relations with other like-minded individuals.
M'lady
I didn't need to know Brock Turner wasn't the only one making trouble behind a random dumpster.
You look like you start fights at bars during UFC fights.
This guy keeps himself warm by farting.
Pukey Blinder
Say you like cock without saying you like cock
You look like Dr. Luke’s cousin, Dr. Puke.
Just tell your parents you want sex change surgery and be done overcompensating.
You’ve got enough neck to stop a 30-06.
You look like you go around borrowing books at the library and not returning them
You’re to blame for parents divorce.