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OP's BIO:

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38M Australian, father of 3, website developer, leftist, loves motorbikes.

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Just because you kidnapped them, doesn’t mean they’re yours..

Wow! Triplets!!! I'm assuming you have triplets because there is no way someone let you fuck them 3 times!

I always wondered who sired the Oompa Loompas.

Hoping the teachers in your school district recognize the signs that warrant making phone calls to CPS

You look like you're about 6 chats away from being confronted in a mall for trying to meet up with a teenager.

I assume you're pushing your kids to major in aviation or chemistry? 🤔

Who jumped on that 3 times?! You stole those kids surely!

Taxidermied cats aren’t kids

Keep a stiff upper lip. With that patchy beard, puberty is just around the corner.

You’ll definitely have your wish to get destroyed granted when you get to prison.

The haircut of 70 year old woman on a person that probably gets searched extensively at the airport every time

You look like the hobbit they didnt invite on the journey to Mordor. Would rather jump in a volcano than hang out with your ass.

Your profile reads like a cult leader and your appearance doesn't help. I'm going to assume all three of those children were born on the same day to different women before you dispense to the Kool-Aid

I can’t believe you’re a father of three. Did you fool one woman three times, or was it three different women you somehow fooled into thinking you wouldn’t be an absentee father?

somebody maxed out the perv stats when creating this character

Your 3 kids are embarrassed to be seen with you.

You look like Discord mod Jesus in the 3rd pic

Saving sperm is not the same as being a father.

When they had nappy rash did you squeeze the grease out of your hair to soothe it ?

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I didnt know i could contract second hand shame from children I have never met.

I would but after 3 kids and that haircut, your life looks like it's already ruined enough

??????????

Those kids aren't yours

Does your mother still refer to you as her failed abortion?

[deleted]

I bet you fucking suck at magic the gathering

You didn’t need to mention the short part, we got that from the first picture

3rd pic looks like Indian Drew McIntyre

Who the fuck reproduced with you?

G’day Charles Mateson

You’re called UnsupervisedFerret because you just run around scaring people, piss on things you aren’t supposed to, and are only interesting to smelly hippies

Needs a booster seat to see over the dash & specially modified car steering wheel & pedals to reach due to dwarfism

Your face is already destroyed. Pic 3 is like from a horror movie.

Just because you told those kids on the playground to call to call you Daddy.. That don't mean you are

You're living proof that the Dutch settlers in Australia fucked the wombats.

Your name is Rajhamapeetimalon but you go by Kev

"Daddy, is that what they call a bogan?"

"Yes, just try to ignore him"

There’s no way you are allowed to be within 100 feet of an elementary school

Do you flirt with your kids biological fathers?

I bet your crawlspace could put Gayce’s to shame

You look like a psycho with a figure skater's haircut

No, I don't want to talk about my car's extended warranty!

You look like India's answer to Mark Ruffalo

I bet you have some hilarious Baulder’s Gate stories.

2 words: personal hygiene

Being a sperm donor doesn’t make you a father

We stan a short king. Sadly for you, you're not a king, so we don't stan you.

We should be roasting the woman/women that let you put it inside them 3 times

So who’s the husband

Looks like we found who gave the koalas chlamydia.

Your gross

Last pic was during your Charles Manson phase ?

So three more people to be ashamed of you, other then your parents and siblings. Nice record.

So there's an ACTUAL Manson family?

Must have mated with one of those Roos

Don't ever DNA test those kids. Not a chance in hell your wife looked at you and said, "I want my kids to look like that man."

No way those kids were conceived by you. You're the new dad that mom only found attractive cause he had a steady job. Too bad AI is erasing website developer jobs en masses, little did she know.

Good luck finding a woman willing to pretend short, balding and ugly is her thing when you're unemployed.

Last time someone roasted your kind it didn't end well so that's a big NO

3 fantasy football players? 

Raspukin

You look younger ngl

Don't be jealous of Shaggy. He is only a cartoon.