30 years old anime kid that never grew up from high school and still muches off his girlfriends while he tells them thats hes in love with them at 1 day then stalks them after they reject him.
You’ve reached the point where you think one of the best pictures of you is taken in a bathroom at Walmart. For most people that’s a low point. Not you. Think about that.
This is the definition of overhearing your mom talk to her friends about you and then you telling her "it's not a phase" but then grow out of it like she predicted.
You can imagine these photos in a true crime book highlighting the lead up to just before you committed some sort of terrible act that gained national notoriety.
Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my yead! <- screams first image
You look like you wanna be so emo scene but don't know what it's like to be emo or scene.
You think you know but haven't actually felt like that ever in your life. You look like you come from a decent neighborhood but try to act as if you're depressed af because you say you hate your life/parents/siblings.
OP's BIO:
I enjoy hyper pop/ scene core music 👍
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Your instinct is to cover your face: follow that instinct.
Maybe a black garbage bag would be even better
More like a T bag
Your hair looks like a LEGO helmet that hasn't been clicked down all the way
No, just Lego emo hair
My thoughts exactly 💯
I was gonna make fun of his hair over his eyes in the first one, but then I saw him without and it clicked immediately 😭
My favorite one so far cause it’s true 😭
When you mess around with the default avatar on Mexican setting.
Going for the Boys Like
GirlsSenoritas lookI feel like I've seen this Juan at every Walmart I've been in
...and OP thinks he is Juan in a million
Your pictures were good for my self esteem. Thank you.
He looks like he hasn't showered in months. I just know if he opened his mouth I'd pass away from the smelly breath 😭
This needs to be the top comment!
Justin El-bieber
You look like this guy
OMG his stunt double
Lmao
You look like one of the 9/11 hijacker's dicks.
You really only needed to post Juan photo for us to figure out you’re boring and lame.
You look like a homeless guy that owns a razor
Looks like you had a stroke with that droopy eye. Do you dribble when you talk?
I mumble 😭
You look like a lesbian when you shave
You look like you'd lick ANYBODYs anus for money. No one with self respect takes Walmart bathroom selfie for there dating profile.
Walmart selfie is the most rock bottom of the barrel selfie I've ever seen
If you flipped upside down, you could clean that Walmart bathroom floor in three seconds flat
Keep that ugly face hidden
Hi Sanjay
Don’t insult llamas 🦙
More like a LameAss
Merry Christmas, homo erectus
You look like you were made in a truck stop shower drain.
God damn😂😂😂
Roast: You are genuinely not good looking.
Yet more evidence why we don’t marry our cousins.
Pakastani edgar
I wasn’t sure if you were an illegal or a terrorist until I saw the name tag.
Who open the freaks cage?
You work at Walmart
The T ain’t working, hun
You remind me of when you pick up a piece of dropped sausage from the floor and it is full of hair
You look like an Alpaca with a green card.
That about four or five other people share
You look like you watch porn on public transportation with the volume up
I'd still hit it.
Inbreed eyes
I’ve finally seen a mexicant
Makes me wanna call ICE
Unfortunately, even they didn't want him
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules:
Please DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it.
Thanks!
~ /r/roastme mods
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Lmao
You don't seem to be cut out for hair cuts. Stop.
Can you cover the rest of your face? Thanks in advance.
Instead of clothes, haircuts and soap you spend your WalMart paychecks on an iPhone?
You look like a sussy diddyblud💀💀💀
"From Hair Helmet to Shih-Tzu to Romulan: My Life, My Rules, My ATTITUDE"
Get a different hair cut.( I have no room to judge)
Just a thought on you taking the middle road for your haircut
30 years old anime kid that never grew up from high school and still muches off his girlfriends while he tells them thats hes in love with them at 1 day then stalks them after they reject him.
No need to turn the lights off when you're bottoming
You had probably better turn that vest and ID in to customer service before you get the real owner in trouble forsucking dick in the bathroom
Looks like a lineup of 5 random incels
I get it about the stupid haircut, I wouldn't want to see that face in a mirror either.
You’ve had more hair styles then everyone else in your neighborhood combined
So when you start shooting were friends right?
Went from Emo/Scene to crime scene
You look like you're gonna try to sell me overpriced shitty weed.
The workplace bathroom selfie really says it all
You must be Hector
I can’t believe people still take bathroom selfies
Cholito
You like Juan on Juans.
I'd say it to your face, but... You know.
Feliz navidad in emo
Bro hid his eyes like they’d reveal the disappointment he already knows is there.
The haircut looks like depression with bangs.
Yo someone get the picture of the guy
That facial hair looks like it gave up halfway just like your vibe.
I would never
You look like you brag about smoking weed but start coughing after one hit
You could be a movie star!
Credits: “Sad Boy #3”
This was my first thought
I can’t tell if you’re a drug dealer or a junkie who sucks dick for drugs.
My guy doesn't need to buy any helmet for his bicycle.
no quema cuh
Wonder how you find your way around town with these bangs
Congrats for not shoplifting nail polish.
Tell you what? That you need a haircut, stat?
I
M A K E
I T
E A S Y
O N
Y O U
Juan Direction
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSiLkIwCgR_z1mRufaiviP4BcngHVjJLO8dUs7GOuT1b2NNMSRJ0KM8-H0&s=10
I feel bad posting that. Your photos look nice.
It’s bad when you have to come to r/roastme to seek validation
Un Burrito Beiber
This one is too easy, not fair
Just because your hair makes you unable to see ICE, doesn’t meant they’re not going to find you.
You look like a pervert.
I thought I was going to swipe to a third picture and you were gonna be a girl.
You look like you accidentally end up places and just roll with it.
That Bieber cut went out of style a decade ago. Did someone forget to tell your mom?
Allow me to introduce you to one of the 72 virgins promised
Allow me to introduce you to one of the 72 virgins promised
Worse Bunny
You work at Walmart, you’re already cooked.
WHERE ARE YOU! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
Enrique Uglyesias
Each picture made me think you couldn’t get uglier, but you somehow managed to every time I swiped.
2025 Vietcong spy
You’ve reached the point where you think one of the best pictures of you is taken in a bathroom at Walmart. For most people that’s a low point. Not you. Think about that.
His forearms are useful in stores, cause they look like barcodes.
The baby Highland Cow is a good look on you.
Keep growing you hair so no one has to ever look at you
Grand Theft Emo
No es una face, mami
How you shower
This is the definition of overhearing your mom talk to her friends about you and then you telling her "it's not a phase" but then grow out of it like she predicted.
You can imagine these photos in a true crime book highlighting the lead up to just before you committed some sort of terrible act that gained national notoriety.
I knew you worked at Walmart before I saw the last pic
Drug mule in training.
You look like the kind of guy my niece would date (this isn't a compliment)
The weight of saying your name all day... I can see it in your eyes.. your jaded gaze.... You know.... Buy juan get juan free!
Not surprised that you work at Walmart after giving your family the 5 finger discount
I get it, I would not want to see myself in neither if I looked like that, keep your face covered and dont look into mirrors
Grow your hair longer so it covers more of your face
If the Hallmark Channel decides to open a Bollywood office then you may have a shot at fame.
Haircut inspired by Sam Sheepdog
Photo 1 is crazy, how many fingers am I holding up esse ahhh!
You are lame you're music is bad
If “aye cuh” was a person
Reminds me of this
face reveal guy
Dust Bunny
“Aye foo roast me foo”
Everything is okay except for picture number one, don't do that again.
You look like shit
All I got is "get a haircut a little more often bro. It's your head, not a Chia Pet" 🤣
You work at Walmart. mic drop
From emo to Temu Emo
Amazing that you can look like a gay illegal terrorist, depending on the picture.
Just do crack and be homeless already.
Picture 3: Stop posting in front of someone else’s car. People think you’re going to steal it.
That emo phase hit hard huh.
Someone’s delivery was delayed while you assembled this post. Get back on your little moped and get to work.
Imagine illegally entering the country thinking you're chasing the American dream only to work at Walmart for the rest of your life.
Are you half Shitzu?
“Mom! It’s not a phase!”
“Gaaaaaaaaaaay!”
You look like an Edgar who’s too poor to get an Edgar cut
You have the "every Indian guy ever" haircut. Go get something new.
Let me get a pack of Russian creams and 10 on 3 please
HisPanic at the Disco
He’s a Walmart Service animal!
You look like you're trying to speedrun getting deported by ICE.
Justin habibi
Only man at K-pop concert
Dam foo I can’t tell if ur Mexican or Indian
when I saw the first photo I immediately thought you were emo
Someone painted your nose and mouth at your back side of neck
How many times have you been rejected by the cartel?
You look like you listen to deathcore rancheras
Six is the best
He’s transitioning from a sheepdog to a bitch.
Walmart either doing collabs with 7/11 now? Or his real name is Hardik, and Walmart manager thought Juan would be less offensive.
Working at Walmart it’s more than enough roasted itself
You look like the human version of all the useless vacuum cleaner attachments
“I’m emo until I go to my job, then I try to dress up for my computer work”
He looks like the retired quiet kid
Not like you’re able to read any of this anyways
ah i see what you're doing "if i have my hair covering my eyes ,my mother won't know when i'm stoned"
nope,we always no
Bet you clapped when the towers fell
The hair is 15, the face is mid thirties, and the aura is 2000s MySpace- Please pick a mood.
Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my yead! <- screams first image
You look like you wanna be so emo scene but don't know what it's like to be emo or scene.
You think you know but haven't actually felt like that ever in your life. You look like you come from a decent neighborhood but try to act as if you're depressed af because you say you hate your life/parents/siblings.
U look like the type to sit on the toilet in reverse cowgirl for a poo