Bro, You really are looking to be roasted wearing those polyester knit pants that only grandmothers wear. Why don’t you tattoo “virgin for life” on your forehead while you’re repelling women better than RAID does a cockroach. And if you are making any sales….its only outta pity with hopes you’ll buy pants from this century.
Dude , why are you dressed like this ? I am not joking . Is there a reason you want to look like this ? Have you looked at this photo? Do you think this is at all, even the least bit is stylish? First off , who the f*** is in charge of cutting your hair ? Fire them immediately. Get a credit card and pay a professional to give you a proper hair cut that has a style to it. Let them decide as obviously you have zero idea what looks good. Next throw away , like in the garbage the clothes you are wearing . Especially the belt that 3 sizes too big. Then go to a city , not some Walmart , and go to a real clothing store that’s way more expensive than you can afford or have been to in the past willing to shop at . Again use this credit card . Go to either a gay salesmen or a young pretty woman salesperson. Give her \ him a $20 and sincerely tell them you are desperate for help and that you’re a grown as idiot that has zero idea how to shop/dress for clothes. But an expensive cologne , not the old spice you’re using now. If for some reason they ask you what you like , immediately go to a different salesperson. You will need to complete outfit from shoes, socks that match , pants, belt and a shirt that all fits. Then go to a professional photographer and PAY them for a photo of yourself. The put the 2 photos together. I promise you it will change your life. You will cry tears of happiness. You will not need to post a photo requesting to be roasted. You will not be woman repellent anymore.
As a woman I support this comment. Without going into too much credit card debt follow every instruction down to the minutest detail. On second thought don’t even give the credit card debt a second thought because it will be a 1000% worth it. 👍
why are you dressed like an usher in a discount movie theater? And why is your belt 9 inches too long, are you planning on getting fat soon, or do you share that belt with your fat ass father?
Is it physically possible for your pants to be pulled up higher? Is that your way of signaling to people that you're male; showing the outline of your penis? There are other, less gross, ways you know.
look at this god's gift to women. you look like your mother licks you to remove stains from your hair and face. you look like your were given birth to by a man. but i know deep down inside you have the swagger of a dead body. you are scrooge, but even that has a happy ending. so keep that skeleton you call a body warm.
You look like the kind of sex offender that sex offenders say "that guy's fucking creepy". Like you have a pet tarantula, and collect nail clippings, kind of creepy.
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OP's BIO:
I am 22, male, and I work as a sales consultant. Looking for suggestions on my appearance. This is just me.
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like you sit down to pee but stand up to poop
Why is ops legs abnormally long? They look unnatural
once i ate 1200mg of edible cannabis gummies and didn't get half as high as this mans pants.
Well said
This man is the world’s most successful suspenders salesman
On the contrary! This man single handedly put the suspender industry out of business. Living proof that they just are not necessary.
Love it, fist pump to you.
🤣🤣🤣
You look like the white guy black people always talk about.
Look at this mfer
You look like you sell coffins at funeral homes just so you can dig the bodies back up and have some sort of physical intimacy with a human.
That's fuckin hilarious
Damn... that's... damn.
You look like a gay daddy longleg spider
Daddy's got it!
Dieter
Eat my bratwurst!
OMG, spot on, but with clothes from goodwill
Sprockets!
Touch my monkey 🐒
Idk what it says about me that this made me laugh out loud while trying to be quiet at work
BSHAHAHAHAHHAHAHWH
Mormon Steve Urkel.
I bet your hand has put you in the friendzone.
stoppppp why is this so accurate
Body type: 3 children on stilts trying to get into an adults only cinema.
This man is nothing but bone and bone
Slender Man if he worked at BestBuy.
I was thinking used car salesman but I think you are closer.
You look so dapper, I must say.
Don't pick on Ed!
Special Ed ?
Did you have to put them trousers on with a forklift?
You look like a mental health in-patient role-playing as a Starbucks barista.
This should be the top comment. Well done
Are you wearing a diaper?
Didn’t know they still made pants that sit that high
Looks like your waistband chafes your nipples
What chest size are those pants
Do you seriously dress yourself?
Bro, You really are looking to be roasted wearing those polyester knit pants that only grandmothers wear. Why don’t you tattoo “virgin for life” on your forehead while you’re repelling women better than RAID does a cockroach. And if you are making any sales….its only outta pity with hopes you’ll buy pants from this century.
Dude , why are you dressed like this ? I am not joking . Is there a reason you want to look like this ? Have you looked at this photo? Do you think this is at all, even the least bit is stylish? First off , who the f*** is in charge of cutting your hair ? Fire them immediately. Get a credit card and pay a professional to give you a proper hair cut that has a style to it. Let them decide as obviously you have zero idea what looks good. Next throw away , like in the garbage the clothes you are wearing . Especially the belt that 3 sizes too big. Then go to a city , not some Walmart , and go to a real clothing store that’s way more expensive than you can afford or have been to in the past willing to shop at . Again use this credit card . Go to either a gay salesmen or a young pretty woman salesperson. Give her \ him a $20 and sincerely tell them you are desperate for help and that you’re a grown as idiot that has zero idea how to shop/dress for clothes. But an expensive cologne , not the old spice you’re using now. If for some reason they ask you what you like , immediately go to a different salesperson. You will need to complete outfit from shoes, socks that match , pants, belt and a shirt that all fits. Then go to a professional photographer and PAY them for a photo of yourself. The put the 2 photos together. I promise you it will change your life. You will cry tears of happiness. You will not need to post a photo requesting to be roasted. You will not be woman repellent anymore.
This is the best kindest post. OP you listen do you hear? Because OP already looks sick and disturbed from all the years of social isolation.
As a woman I support this comment. Without going into too much credit card debt follow every instruction down to the minutest detail. On second thought don’t even give the credit card debt a second thought because it will be a 1000% worth it. 👍
Too bad you didn’t sell awkwardness
Mommy's Big Boy is ready for church.
You look like an Eastern European working in a shitty hotel in London.
Did your supervisor ask you to submit this post?
Something like this actually.
You’ve been roasted ever since your mom stopped dressing you
Leg extension surgery gone wrong
Mama's basement boy!
why are you dressed like an usher in a discount movie theater? And why is your belt 9 inches too long, are you planning on getting fat soon, or do you share that belt with your fat ass father?
You look like a priest that just found the alter boy of his dreams.
if you're as sick and pale as you are, it must be cold where you live. you could be used for poking the fire
That's a sad way to get attention. You know what you did.
You’re dressed like a little boy going to a wedding and his parents don’t want him to mess up the rental suit
Baron Von Pee Pee Smoocher
Youre more leg than man
You got that advanced highschool math teacher who got fired for having creepy pictures of the female students vibe.
What's this, a fruity slenderman?
you don't go out in public like this surely?
Igor from Ukraine, too scared to fight
FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN! HIS PANTS ARE EATING HIM ALIVE!
Your mom definitely didn’t cum when you were conceived
More butch lesbians asking to be roasted WTF is going on Reddit. Pull your pants up a touch higher and show off that beefy camel tow
You look like you smell like parmesan cheese and you came from the 1980s
He looks like a waiter who just got fired for breathing on the food
What a fucking weirdo with his photo collection of cheese graters and kitchen sink drains.
Does you mom dress you son
Is it physically possible for your pants to be pulled up higher? Is that your way of signaling to people that you're male; showing the outline of your penis? There are other, less gross, ways you know.
Are you asking for a kick in the balls?
You have some very pronounced and boxy hips, and that’s quite unfortunate.
You look like one sick wierdo
You definitely fuck mannequins.
If I were a politician, I'd introduce legislation that makes it legal to fight anyone who wore a belt like that in public.
"I yam Russian boyfriend, I yam for having good time humpy humpy"
Nordic Steve Urkel, the dork from the longhouse next door
look at this god's gift to women. you look like your mother licks you to remove stains from your hair and face. you look like your were given birth to by a man. but i know deep down inside you have the swagger of a dead body. you are scrooge, but even that has a happy ending. so keep that skeleton you call a body warm.
I dont believe this is real. Lol cant be.
This is the Chick Fil A team lead that reports you to corporate for taking an extra sauce.
Me: Bro is a sales consultant
Someone else: But he's in funeral attire!
Me: Exactly.
(Prolly this is an L roast but nvm, I'm trying)
Peadophile of the week
You look like hobby horsing trainer, treat your self with new hair cut
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You look a bit like Pewdiepie, if he was a total looser.
I was gonna say Pewdiepie's picture for the Sex Offender Registry.
He looks like he has really strong opinions about craft beer and star trek
VGP- very gay person
You look like Jack Skellinton's gay younger brother. Are you here to steal Christmas?
Look like you should be pushingThe Watchtower mag through people’s door
You look like you bought the shortest belt Walmart sells, and it’s still too long. You have to make a custom hole to keep your pants up?
To be fair, he’s probably hung
You've somehow found out how to wear every article of clothes incorrectly.
The way you grab your own hip is creepy lol you look like something from insidious
You look like you’d split the bill on every date
Now is the time on sprockets when we dance!
Pretty sure I’ve seen you blowing in the wind outside of a car dealership.
I bet the bodies are in the well in those pics by your shoulder, wtf man...
Homeless guy that found some goodwill clothes that don’t fit
ReviewBrah?
Top button? Really?
Tell us you go to a church with no windows without telling us …
He looks like an insensitive mortician
It’s Plain Staley.
Legit looks like the coach of the Chicago Bears, Ben Johnson if he decided to pursue a career in theater but wasn’t very good at it.
If "friendzone" had a picture in the dictionary. This would be it.
You look like you have the personality of a potato
You look like a store brand Liam Neeson
Poor sweet thing, you couldn’t even get laid in prison.
You look like a magician whose only magic trick is making everyone around you disappear.
This guys into bondage, his bellybutton has been tied up for hours
You look like a person who likes the smell of their own farts
Have you tried a paper bag?
The dude has 'Just met Chris Hansen at the door' resting face.
You cannot sell anything successfully with that sleazy appearance.
Hard to roast just the skewer.
About to go play the marimba in the high school band concert.
The waistband of your trousers is just below your nipples.
She's almost 17 bro, not even my real cousin.
You look like you exclusively jerk off to the movie Whiplash.
Nerd Ninja wannabe
After seeing you, I don’t even think a Jehovahs Witness would come knock on your door
Gareth from the office's brother
Bro said “give me the electric tape look”
Dollar tree Slenderman
Your torso so short you belly button's between your nipples.
Get a haircut, don't wear your pants so high, tuck in your shirt properly, get a pinstripe shirt, put your belt end in a loop.
You dress like the stagehand no one likes
You look like a more sexually deviant peewee Herman
You’re in the wrong subreddit if you’re looking for suggestions lol
You look like you ask girls at bars if you can hold their drink for them
Look at that high-waisted man, he got feminine hips
Slavic superhero.
Knockoff kid
Oooooh look, it's a gay slenderman (I think I spelled slenderman wrong)
Belt goes below the belly button bro
your bed is tiny for all those legs
The flute player obviously because he knows how to suck his band mates flutes as well after practice
You look like you volunteer at a mortuary just to fuck the corpses during off hours
At least you got the fit dialed on all your clothes. 👌
Hello Serge.
"Donny, run and tell Miss Summers that, uh, Mister Achmed Foley is here to see her...
Can those pants/belt go any higher?
you wear your pants closer to your nipples than my grandfather does.
I’m glad you outgrew the drywall thing
You look like you got fired from Sizzler AND Red Lobster.
Probably shouldn't hike your pants that high when you're rocking a baby thumb in there
Vivek Oberoi
PeeWee Herman
You’ve had it up to HERE! Here being your nips.
You look like the kind of sex offender that sex offenders say "that guy's fucking creepy". Like you have a pet tarantula, and collect nail clippings, kind of creepy.
White people
You dress like one of the denizens of Boca Del Mar. Temu Ed Grimley, I must say
It's nice to see a young person who knows to pull his pants up, but you should have stopped at your nipples.
You look like PewDiePie without the money
If you wore your pants any higher, you'd get your chest hairs caught in the zipper.
Tuck your belt and shirt id recommend a proper shirt stay and only button the top button if you have a tie fuckin slob
Extreme high waisted slacks - now at JC Penney
No one's gonna think you have a long penis just because your belt is sticking out 8 inches.
You look like a Magician’s fluffer. Let’s just say things regularly disappear inside of you…
You get rejected by every guy at every club you go to.
are you playing on organs in church with your legs?
You look like a bad magician.
Saying “Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?” And “do you want fries with that” does not make you a sales consultant.
You look like you have never seen vagina in real life and probably never will
Pull your freaking pants up…
Buy a new belt that fits for Pete sake.
Legs longer than the last hour of work.
My suggestion is get clothes that fit properly, for starters.
You’re as awkward as a boner at grandmas funeral
Over/under on fedoras owned: 2.5
Tom Grossi? Is that you?
You look a lot like a friend of mine but he wasn't a fucking dork, which tells me those are all choices, so you roasted yourself.
6th grade band called and asked for the outfit back.
this is bro
Nice pants, 1970s movie extra.
Pull your shirt down
You need to take the hangers out of your clothes before you wear them!
Look at that high waisted man. He's got feminine hips.
Poster child for “show me sex offenders in my area”