My coworkers think I'm a crazy person because I'm pushing 40 and still go to raves and metal shows. I'm always down to try something new, have a new experience. I take on a lot of the tasks people are anxious about at work-- heavy lifting, networking, public speaking, etc. I've traveled alone, I lived abroad alone.
And... I'm still kinda bored with life. At the end of the day, it's never actually that big of a deal. Metal shows are practically tame, everyone's very chill. Public speaking anxiety is just fear of being judged, nothing ever actually happens if you mess up.
I feel like I've always been looking for excitement in my life, but I've never really found anything that works consistently and I'm running out of ideas.
Any suggestions for making life more exciting or interesting?
Maybe a cult? I hear there's money in leading but more fun in following.
Excellent suggestion! With the way society is going right now, it’s really an outstanding environment for starting a new cult. People yearn for new crazy shit to believe. Get creative with it, and have fun! You’ll have a line out the door!
I’d also recommend that you shy away from doing weird sex stuff. While tempting for some, it’s been the most common downfall of many a successful cult over the years. Definitely do your homework and learn from past examples.
This guy cults.
Thanks man, means a lot. Been a lifelong bucket list item for me to start one. Your encouragement just now may be just what I need to pull the (completely proverbial) trigger!
You can either lean in to the dopamine addiction by getting involved in adrenaline sports or engaging in risky behaviors and hope you survive them before raising your tolerance too high, or you can train your nervous system to accept a calmer state of being which takes longer and feels less satisfying at first but long term pays off with a more reliable, satisfying life.
I say this as a previous experience/sensation junkie who forced myself to take the latter route after some self-sabotage taking the former route.
Wow
I’m the same age and wired really similarly.
My wife and I spent almost a decade where we would lock up the house for a month every year and motorcycle tour the country.
We were in the middle of Saskatchewan pulling into a gas station when we first had the conversation about how having a kid would be the next big adventure. It has been. With that said, kids aren’t for everyone and there’s nothing wrong with that. It just means that you need a new hobby or deeper way to pour yourself into a hobby you already enjoy.
How old are your coworkers to be amazed by you going to shows?
Maybe mental stimulation rather than physical might scratch that itch you have.
Varying ages. I think Covid lock downs did a number on the young ones-- they're practically afraid of their own shadows.
Transition from consuming experiences to building something.
A lot of things we consider life experiences are just a type of consumption - shows, for instance. Creating/building something big is more engaging.
Really agree with this point. Building something can require a lot of energy and effort, and can definitively engage you for a long period of time.
Maybe expand your human-centricness? Most of life on this planet and beyond is outside of us humans and our experience here on this spinning rock we call home. Maybe learning about and observing/exploring how the trillions of other species do life might be interesting to you for a little while?
The obvious is to take up skydiving. Or cave scuba. Or helicoptering to the top of a mountain and skiing down. Or stay in a haunted house for a weekend.
But honestly, maybe trying therapy to see what the real reason is you aren't happy with where you are right now.
I've done skydiving, but it was expensive, which is my main issue with a lot of those adrenaline junkie hobbies. I just don't have that kind of cash.
Big haunted house fan though. I go to a lot of those.
Honestly... I tried therapy a few times. I wasn't impressed. Finding a good, well-informed therapist seems like searching for a needle in a haystack. And like the above issue... an expensive haystack.
True to all.
How about ballroom dancing? Learning tricks on roller skates? Skateboarding?
If you like roadtripping, maybe just going in one direction and seeing where it takes you/no planning.
There's waterskiing, river rafting, camping. Running a marathon.
Take classes to learn how to be a stuntman. Learn how to survive a week in the woods.
Back to ballroom dancing - take lessons and then get into competing professionally.
Take a motorcycle course. If you already ride, take an advanced course. If you've already taken the advanced course, get a track bike.
Basic RiderCourse - Motorcycle Safety Foundation https://share.google/3LN3mlv0xXjLRI53r
I don't know what you do for a living, OP, but there are lines of work that are both exciting/challenging and meaningful/rewarding—things like emergency medicine and humanitarian response.
Build something, try to start a company
Are you on Beta Blockers? They reduce anxiety and adrenaline and might be making you a bit chill.
Do something you're really bad at, preferably with a reasonably high risk level.
Horseback riding and motorcycles would both work.
Horses are just motorcycles that can make really bad decisions. I have 3, they are a nightmare. No pun intended, they are all geldings.
Counterpoint: motorcycles are just horses for lazy people. :D
Start fights in an MMA training school parking lot?
Seems like you have an existential dilemma on your hands. Best of luck!
Sounds like you need a drug addiction!
I've seriously thought about it. I'm pretty sure exercise is the only thing keeping me away.
Psychedelics are the way to go. I recommend shaman ceremonies for peyote, Aya, mushrooms, etc. come to San Francisco or L.A. and ask around. You’ll find one really quickly.
Learn to ride horses, then start showing!
He's already said money is an issue for extreme sports. 😁
(Signed, Fellow horseperson)
He can always ride other people's horses. Catch riding is a thing. But yeah they are a money sink hahaha.
Get into a sport that taxes your ability. Something like snowboarding, sky diving, SCUBA diving, drag boat racing or car racing. 'Just some ideas.
Do all that stuff.......on weeeeed?!
Meh. I've never really liked getting high. Always makes me queasy.
Totally understand. I was kind of joking but also - I get a little thrill from doing mundane stuff a little baked. It just kind of spices things up sometimes. I don't do it all the time because then the thrill fades.
I'm certain, with or without drugs, you'll find some new thrills. Best wishes!
Read the works of the great minds.
It will change your perspectives ( if you are lucky ) on experiences, life, etc.
Been there, done that.
More live music. More travel. Go take some fun lessons of some kind, like salsa dancing.
Get into the circus arts. Workout plus real danger, plus real skills and the people are awesome
Get married and have kids.
Am married. I'll pass on kids.
Would be a real problem if I got bored of my kids.
I am 43 and have a pretty exciting life I think. Compared to most middle aged dads. There’s always something to make things more interesting. Raves boring? Ok. What about a slightly more sketchy rave in an abandoned warehouse in skid row? What part of the world do you live in? Cos if you live in Southern Cali, I feel like I can recommend you some stuff to do.
You might just be an adrenaline junkie.
I would expect your kids to be bored of you of they're your kids.
That said, I don't understand child-resistant people...eventually one has done everything and parenthood is the final frontier. I used to be child-resistant but my wife and I had done pretty much everything and been everywhere we wanted to go so what else left but New Game+ with kids
I hope your kids never find this. Imagine discovering that you were born into this shit hole world just because your parents were bored and kids were just the next game to play.
We didn't really want kids as adults but we did want kids with each other, so that's how it happened. I know for a lot of people it's probably weird since being in love that hard for so long might seem strange to many people but that's how it went down.
My only "if I become a parent" back when I was kid was something like "I want to see the world and then see it again with kids"
You are correct, that would also be sub-optimal then.
Kids are supposed to be better versions of their parents and this sounds like they'd be even more adventurous
Nothing will ever be consistently exciting. Humans get used to everything.
Join the military if your'are under 57
I'm pushing 50 and am the same way but still have a kid and a wife's that's a DJ. You should just go find a partner and have kids...everything prior was unexciting and boring compared to marriage and raising a family.
Bringing other human beings into existence is not the answer here! JFC. Not everyone needs or wants children. OP, it's totally OK to not want kids. Don't let anyone ever pressure you into it if you truly don't want to. I'm 56, never wanted kids, and never had them. I have not had one inkling of regret.
I’m 35 and when my parents died last year (I was the main caregiver for both) everyone was like WELP TIME TO HAVE KIDS GET BACK TO IT GO GO GO.
Like, I just went through the most traumatic experience of my life so far, and you want me to raise children.
My husband had choice other words but I’d probably get banned repeating them.
But it's sometimes the answer. Not everyone is fit to be a parent but OP sounds like they have their stuff together and appreciates a good challenge.
Having kids will humble you as well as a wife. That's the final destination for you unless you have those.
But if I married a woman, we wouldn't be able to have kids...
Lol, I always find internet assumptions very funny.