I can’t stand my brother and mom. My brother who is 25, enlisted in the military post grad. Understandably, he couldn’t find a job (which I 100% know is because of his online presence), which led to his plan b which is obviously enlisting. I personally do not associate with my older brother due to his own political beliefs and such, but my mom good lord. She acts as if he’s giving up his life! He’s going through h basic and then going to school to become an officer. I’m relatively fit and in shape, I’m not comparing my active life to the military but on the physical aspect, my sport is a lot more demanding. It just bothers me that she coddles my older brother to such an extent. With him being an adult, all he does is play video games 24/7 and never work out. I’m glad he’s in the military, he needs it! But my mom acts as if this is literal torture. He’s 25 for crying out loud, if he doesn’t do this he will be forever living in her house with no future.
Directionless people aren’t the only ones who enter the military, of course, but it has been a long-standing tradition for people to enlist when they don’t know what to do next in life. Good on your brother for continuing moving forward. Hopefully he grows up, gets an education, and develops a backbone while he’s there.
Your Mom, however, is very developmentally behind. She should have gone through these growing-pains and letting-go exercises when she dropped your brother off at preschool.
You sound well adjusted though OP! Good luck out there.
Thank you! But he jut got back, happy holidays to you!
To be entirely honest, he is giving up his life.
You know how you like to have fun on weekends? Not for him, he’ll have weekend staff duty. Im assuming you have some tough hours because work some kind of job to support your admittedly difficult education? He will probably work longer hours, for promise of lesser pay.
It’s pretty easy for students to find girlfriends and boyfriends.. Not for your brother though because he’s got a stupid looking regulation haircut. Not to mention he’ll probably be exhausted from an unbelievably chaotic work week, and won’t have time or energy to be social on weekends, much less week nights.
There’s probably some kind of dream vacation you want to go on ? Your brother wants to also, except his boss won’t allow him to go because of reasons and if he disobeys that directive he’ll go to federal prison.
Anyway. My point is your brother is making some significant sacrifices, namely his personal freedoms, for shit pay
/add flair
Sort of yes. I mean yes he’s compromising a lot but my issue is my mom. This is a last choice for him, there’s nothing left for him. He’s a comp sci major and got his undergrad but did no sort of internship or job so he has 0 experience.
I do understand how you feel. But to be entirely honest I take your mother’s side on this one. I don’t mean that to say you haven’t achieved anything, you sound very accomplished. More accomplished than I was at 18 at any rate.
Let me tell you a story from my time in the Army to illustrate what Im saying. This took place in Iraq. Many times US military leaders would speak with local leaders (think village elders) in an effort to win the hearts and minds of locals (away from ISIS, or the Taliban depending where you were). US military leaders would typically hear the local’s gripes (typically something to do with corruption, or something to do with their poor quality of life). US military leaders, in turn, did what they could to find solutions. This often took the form of building infrastructure like wells so locals wouldn’t have to walk miles to get water, or send military medics to treat the locals’ health problems (think hygiene, vaccines, antibiotics, etc). This was all in an effort to win the loyalty of locals away from extremist jihadist groups.
Anyway, a father brings in a girl to be treated by our medics, about 12 years old. She has small towels taped to her face, all over her face. When asked what happened, the father told the medics his daughter was playing with a 12 year old local boy. So in punishment, he and another family member poured boiling water on his daughter’s face. He’d brought his daughter to the military medics to help heal the wounds which would undoubtedly scar her face for life.
That is the kind of thing your brother will be exposed to, if war ever broke out and we deploy to some crazy part of the world. Maybe not necessarily crazy locals, perhaps something worse like his friend getting shot and your brother watching as his friend bleeds to death in front of him.
Your mom is probably worried something terrible will happen to your brother. I would be too. He volunteered for something very hard, even if he had nowhere else to go. He could have wussed out and stayed at home and mooched off your family.
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Thank you for your service
And yes ofc I understand. I agree, it’s a huge deal! But equally to he’s doing nothing with his life. He got a comp sci degree and has been sitting since 21 in his bio dad’s basement with no job, he moved down here in January of 2025 and my bio dad (his step dad) pushed him into getting a job. Hence why he’s in the military now. My issue comes with the fact he’s 100% guaranteed to be a specialized officer (from my understanding), which I’m proud of him for! But there’s no war risk, he’s gonna life a relatively good life because of his choice, my mom continues this inflitizing behavior that caused this predicament in the first place.
What state are you in and how long before your brother finishes basic training cause you had four years today so I can know we’re not to go or your brother will be an officer he sounds Maga from what you’re saying which means he’s racist
Uhh I don’t wanna dox ourselves but we’re considered to be in district 9. And he’s post grad so I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna be 4 years. And yeah he’s maga
I guarantee you are doing nothing in life. Someone’s upset their brother is getting the attention.
I’m 18 and in school for pre med biology to become a psychiatrist… great observation though!
Nobody should become a psychiatrist that looks down on other people. You’re gonna be shit at it.
You’re making this observation based on 1 post 😭. And I’m not looking down on anyone.
Saw you replied again except it won’t show on my end. You’re making huge assumptions for someone who doesn’t know me or the situation. Talking about judgmental, maybe the call is coming from inside the house. Have a merry Christmas, not replying anymore