My POCD started around a year and 2 months ago when I was 16. It was absolutely debilitating. It started off as it being about young children but then I went to therapy quite quickly and it went away (mostly).
Now my focus is on teenagers (I am 17F but 18 in 2 weeks). Pretty much anyone 14 upwards. This started a year ago but therapy didn't get me anywhere.
It's flaired up again really badly. But it's not in the same way it was when POCD first showed up. It feel SO real, to point I think it is real. I get attraction but it could be false, I really hope it is false. I feel so anxious if I think about having s** with someone underage and I don't (as far as I know) feel arousal. I can find people my age and older attractive, but no longer in the same way, which makes me think I was lying to myself the whole time. I just feel like I'm in denial, to the point I know I'm in denial. It's no longer, "what ifs?" anymore. I just know. I'm not scared of doing anything wrong, I'm scared of being one. I can't afford a therapist at the moment. And my mum would be devastated if I told her I was going through this again. I am also on 75mg of sertraline and I haven't been diagnosed with OCD, just anxiety and depression.
I need advice and help.
I was going to post this in r/OCD, but I didn't have enough karma.
Exposure therapy can be helpful. Think of situations that would trigger these thoughts, put yourself in those positions, and feel the fear. Try to imagine that you were what you fear and feel what sort of sensations and emotions come with that. Idk if that makes sense but exposure therapy can be carried out solo if you know what to do. I would suggest looking on YT for therapist videos, either from a therapist with OCD or one specialized in the topic. There are a lot of resources available. I can help you find a good couple youtubers at some point if you are interestedÂ
That would be wonderful thank you! Do you actually think this is OCD because it doesn't feel like it me?
Reassurance seeking is a choice common compulsion n. It makes sense, no one wants to be what they fear. But it feeds the loop.
I'll be online later. It'll be good for me as well to leave ok through some mental health videos