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This is why I say kink and bdsm becoming normalized will lead to a lack of empathy for real issues like dv, csa and sexual abuse, because no matter how much theyre against it 'in real life', their first thought is 'oh thats hot'.
Can you imagine victims hearing about how so many people are getting off to their traumatic experience? Like they're the crazy ones because everyone actually enjoys it? As if victims weren't already shut down and called crazy and told they secretly wanted it. And they're being blamed for talking about their experience, as if calling it vent art would have put off the kinksters. God this is a plague. So depressing
This is why not all kink is "harmless as long as it's consensual!" Despite how loud kinksters wanna shout such. It doesn't just "stay in their own bedroom behind closed doors."
It gets distributed. Adopted. And normalized. That shapes a culture. If majority people held a specific "kink", it wouldn't be a kink anymore. It would be considered standard.
And I don't want to live in a culture where violence, misogyny, abuse etc., is so standard/normal that the lines are blurred for people trying to figure out who would or wouldn't wanna be subjected to it, to the point that people just start assuming others would like it. Because when someone who isn't "into it" gets subjected to it, that is real victimization, not just a "whoopsies, I guessed wrong."
And it is not being "puritanical" to want a world where it's assumed sexual violence is unwanted by another person.
When I was 16 I once posted a vent on Tumblr speaking about csa I experienced as 6 y old, some fucking ddlg little reblogged it and commented on how hot it is, that way a lot of ddlg accounts found that post and they all thought it's hot and kinky, cause their kink is mimicking csa to the degree when they're confronted with actual survivors talking about csa they immediately assume that's sexual, that's kinky. As if the actual crime theyre fetishising doesn't exist in reality. Dark times man.
Dd/Lg creeps on Tumblr were the absolute WORST. I liked to post my outfits and had a more cutesy aesthetic (because I was a teenager) and they tried to groom me and push me into it so many times.
Until eventually I would rant about how creepy and disgusting they were and I was known as a "sex negative bigot" by a lot of users.
So I slid into radfem tumblr because a lot of women on that side of the website defended me.
So I guess they did help me find radical feminism at an early age at least lol
Yeah wow... How dare the literal underage girl say she doesn't wanna be sexualized by fucking pedophiles. Which is what most daddy doms are. I feel like either they're just soft doms that have adopted the title cause littles are into a caregiving style thing, so they're like ok fine I'm daddy then. OR and this is like 90% of them, they're just fucking pedophiles. I haaaate daddy doms with a passion.
Im so sorry they judged you for saying no to being groomed, also, wtf? Like they fetishize cuteness and innocence to the degree they cannot fucking see it as smth non sexual. It's disgusting.
Also, possibly less sane thing I did a year ago, I used to argue very loud that I think most daddy doms are pedos but so many ppl, including friends would tell me that's assumptive and I don't really know that. But my logic was, a pedophile will try to fill his needs some way, having a barely legal girl pretend she's a child is one way, plus most of them would go for actual teens if the opportunity presented itself. After years of arguing I did the absolutely insane thing of making a false little ddlg account on Tumblr just to see how quickly I'd get them to admit they're actual pedophiles, cause the arguments around it bothered me that much. 90% of guys that messaged me on this account admitted to fantasizing about actual little kids within one hour of talking, some gave me indepth fantasies. I deleted the account afterwards. Ik it sounds nuts, but I had to have that clarity. Now anytime someone tries to defend them to me and tells me that ddlg doesn't imply pedophilia I think back to the fact that I literally got it straight from the horses mouth. They know they're pedophiles. Straight up.
It already does. They’ve done studies where men watch porn or don’t and then fill out questionnaires, and the ones who do report more support for rape myths.
Thank you so much for thinking about victims! I was physically abused by my mother during my childhood and inherently developed a very masochist psychology in every aspect of my life. But I have a reason for it, it’s a coping mechanism and I never intended to be this way. It genuinely irritates me so much to see people who have no trauma whatsoever practice this so freely, it’s so disrespectful to me. I was beaten when I was a child, I have a reason for it and even I don’t encourage such behavior, but they just do it for the love of the fun. They are disgusting
So you think someone can't have a kink if they don't have a reason that's good enough for you? I agree with the normalization argument, but at the same time your stance seems a bit extreme. People in general can't really choose what arouses them or not (desensitization can probably make you crave more things and it's partially in your control but still)
I can’t help the fact cnc arouses me due to past trauma. HOWEVER I know it is not normal and I work on it with my therapist. Yes you can’t really choose what gets you off, but you can choose how to respond to that urge
Nobody should ever have masochistic kinks especially kinks related to the abuse of children.
I've been groomed, I've survived a brutal attack and rape attempt, I would still seek psychological help if I had a dd/lg (pedophilia) kink!!!
It's like saying that people who develop hard drug addictions due to trauma should just continue shooting up like it's no big deal. It is a big deal, it will lead to MORE trauma, and the person should seek intervention before it gets worse.
Extreme masochistic or sadistic kinks are harmful and not okay to just lose yourself to.
Bringing romanticized violence into intimacy is insane in and of itself, but long-term, the consequence really seems to be that people’s brains jump to “oh, that’s hot” when exposed to real instances of non-consent and assault, CSA, DV, etc. I don’t know how you can get off to something in your free time, and then watch the news, and something comes up that’s your kink, and you can still fully appreciate how horrifying it is that that’s happened to another person. It can’t possibly have the same impact if you’re Pavloving yourself to associate the topic with “oh, it’s time for sex now”.
This is exactly why abuse shouldn't be pornified, it leads to people not recognizing abuse and seeing abuse for what it literally is. People wouldn't assume it's fetish art, if abuse wasn't so normalized (via porn).
I could understand how people could guess "kinky" if the person was blushing or smiling, but there are no indicators, and doubling-down is awful. When I first saw this, I thought it was sad abuse art, which it was. I just didn't know it was also from the artist's direct experience.
And they’re surprised why a lot of people feel unsafe around them. You can’t tell me it’s a coincidence that the more violent someone’s “kinks” are, the less empathetic they get. Disgusting.
The fact the idea of making someone uncomfortable and subjugating them to violence seems hot and totally normal to someone is already an insane red flag. They have no morals and consideration for others.
I don't think it was their fault but unfortunately I also thought it was something kinky OR a scene from a fictional story. I don't even like this kind of kinky stuff but that's what is floating around and that's why I associated this with those kinds of media.
Edit: But blaming the person or "I WISH YOUR GROOMER TARGETED ME" is ducking diabolical.
Not to victimblame but the art style also looks so similar to the Coffin of Andy and Leyley game too (that game depicts a fetishized incestous relationship between the two titular characters).
i could tell it was vent art, but i think the gooners/fans of the game saw the style and latched on.
And unfortunately, I've seen art where a character in a similar position also looks similarly uncomfortable and it was intended as kink. If you question it, they promptly shut it down and wave it away with some comment about it being fake. As if that is a real explanation for why they think it's chill or meaningless to get off to this. Obviously that's not the case here, but simply shows why these people thought the art was, basically, for them. That detail doesn't change anything for them. I bet it's preferred for many since it's more in the "fantasy"
What's wrong with these people? They see a character who leaves burns on the shoulder of another, insults them, and think this is sexual and kinky? What? I agree with other comments that point out that kink culture normalizes and will normalize rape, domestic violence, CSAM, and other things. How can you feel empathy to the victim of any of these if it is what you jerk off to?
Why are they victim blaming so casually? It’s THEIR fault for sexualizing and fetishizing abuse!? Shouldn’t this be telling for them? My god this pisses me off so much..
My stomach turned looking at this. What kind of soulless monster sees a violent image of a crying person being burned with cigarettes and gets off on it.
I hate that ppl actually choose to clicker train themselves like this on purpose, it’s so dehumanizing and and unnatural, literal porn conditioning in another form, it’s disgusting
Poor artist though, who cares if it’s a kink or not when people feel inclined to be that rude to an artists, I think this kind of reactionary behavior further pushes people to see everything either as porn or not porn, when rather when it comes to art it needs to be a bit more filigree.
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This is why I say kink and bdsm becoming normalized will lead to a lack of empathy for real issues like dv, csa and sexual abuse, because no matter how much theyre against it 'in real life', their first thought is 'oh thats hot'.
Can you imagine victims hearing about how so many people are getting off to their traumatic experience? Like they're the crazy ones because everyone actually enjoys it? As if victims weren't already shut down and called crazy and told they secretly wanted it. And they're being blamed for talking about their experience, as if calling it vent art would have put off the kinksters. God this is a plague. So depressing
exactly.
This is why not all kink is "harmless as long as it's consensual!" Despite how loud kinksters wanna shout such. It doesn't just "stay in their own bedroom behind closed doors."
It gets distributed. Adopted. And normalized. That shapes a culture. If majority people held a specific "kink", it wouldn't be a kink anymore. It would be considered standard.
And I don't want to live in a culture where violence, misogyny, abuse etc., is so standard/normal that the lines are blurred for people trying to figure out who would or wouldn't wanna be subjected to it, to the point that people just start assuming others would like it. Because when someone who isn't "into it" gets subjected to it, that is real victimization, not just a "whoopsies, I guessed wrong."
And it is not being "puritanical" to want a world where it's assumed sexual violence is unwanted by another person.
Well said! I completely agree with you!
When I was 16 I once posted a vent on Tumblr speaking about csa I experienced as 6 y old, some fucking ddlg little reblogged it and commented on how hot it is, that way a lot of ddlg accounts found that post and they all thought it's hot and kinky, cause their kink is mimicking csa to the degree when they're confronted with actual survivors talking about csa they immediately assume that's sexual, that's kinky. As if the actual crime theyre fetishising doesn't exist in reality. Dark times man.
Wow talk about a fully ‘mask off’ moment. I’m so sorry that happened
Dd/Lg creeps on Tumblr were the absolute WORST. I liked to post my outfits and had a more cutesy aesthetic (because I was a teenager) and they tried to groom me and push me into it so many times.
Until eventually I would rant about how creepy and disgusting they were and I was known as a "sex negative bigot" by a lot of users.
So I slid into radfem tumblr because a lot of women on that side of the website defended me.
So I guess they did help me find radical feminism at an early age at least lol
Yeah wow... How dare the literal underage girl say she doesn't wanna be sexualized by fucking pedophiles. Which is what most daddy doms are. I feel like either they're just soft doms that have adopted the title cause littles are into a caregiving style thing, so they're like ok fine I'm daddy then. OR and this is like 90% of them, they're just fucking pedophiles. I haaaate daddy doms with a passion.
Im so sorry they judged you for saying no to being groomed, also, wtf? Like they fetishize cuteness and innocence to the degree they cannot fucking see it as smth non sexual. It's disgusting.
Also, possibly less sane thing I did a year ago, I used to argue very loud that I think most daddy doms are pedos but so many ppl, including friends would tell me that's assumptive and I don't really know that. But my logic was, a pedophile will try to fill his needs some way, having a barely legal girl pretend she's a child is one way, plus most of them would go for actual teens if the opportunity presented itself. After years of arguing I did the absolutely insane thing of making a false little ddlg account on Tumblr just to see how quickly I'd get them to admit they're actual pedophiles, cause the arguments around it bothered me that much. 90% of guys that messaged me on this account admitted to fantasizing about actual little kids within one hour of talking, some gave me indepth fantasies. I deleted the account afterwards. Ik it sounds nuts, but I had to have that clarity. Now anytime someone tries to defend them to me and tells me that ddlg doesn't imply pedophilia I think back to the fact that I literally got it straight from the horses mouth. They know they're pedophiles. Straight up.
It already does. They’ve done studies where men watch porn or don’t and then fill out questionnaires, and the ones who do report more support for rape myths.
I remember seeing men online talking about being turned on by hearing their girlfriends talk about how they were sexually abused as children
Thank you so much for thinking about victims! I was physically abused by my mother during my childhood and inherently developed a very masochist psychology in every aspect of my life. But I have a reason for it, it’s a coping mechanism and I never intended to be this way. It genuinely irritates me so much to see people who have no trauma whatsoever practice this so freely, it’s so disrespectful to me. I was beaten when I was a child, I have a reason for it and even I don’t encourage such behavior, but they just do it for the love of the fun. They are disgusting
So you think someone can't have a kink if they don't have a reason that's good enough for you? I agree with the normalization argument, but at the same time your stance seems a bit extreme. People in general can't really choose what arouses them or not (desensitization can probably make you crave more things and it's partially in your control but still)
I can’t help the fact cnc arouses me due to past trauma. HOWEVER I know it is not normal and I work on it with my therapist. Yes you can’t really choose what gets you off, but you can choose how to respond to that urge
Yep, you're right about the difference between thoughts and one's response to them, I didn't consider those are two different things for some reason.
Nobody should ever have masochistic kinks especially kinks related to the abuse of children.
I've been groomed, I've survived a brutal attack and rape attempt, I would still seek psychological help if I had a dd/lg (pedophilia) kink!!!
It's like saying that people who develop hard drug addictions due to trauma should just continue shooting up like it's no big deal. It is a big deal, it will lead to MORE trauma, and the person should seek intervention before it gets worse.
Extreme masochistic or sadistic kinks are harmful and not okay to just lose yourself to.
Bringing romanticized violence into intimacy is insane in and of itself, but long-term, the consequence really seems to be that people’s brains jump to “oh, that’s hot” when exposed to real instances of non-consent and assault, CSA, DV, etc. I don’t know how you can get off to something in your free time, and then watch the news, and something comes up that’s your kink, and you can still fully appreciate how horrifying it is that that’s happened to another person. It can’t possibly have the same impact if you’re Pavloving yourself to associate the topic with “oh, it’s time for sex now”.
It's not only about normalization of kinks, I think it's even more about the prevalence of pornography
True cuz kink/rough sex culture wouldn't have been so widespread if not for porn
So many ppl getting defensive, kinksters into this shit have no empathy
Perverts genuinely think they own the world atp and that they have the right to sexualize anything and anyone, I'm so fcking tired.
This is exactly why abuse shouldn't be pornified, it leads to people not recognizing abuse and seeing abuse for what it literally is. People wouldn't assume it's fetish art, if abuse wasn't so normalized (via porn).
Agreed.
I could understand how people could guess "kinky" if the person was blushing or smiling, but there are no indicators, and doubling-down is awful. When I first saw this, I thought it was sad abuse art, which it was. I just didn't know it was also from the artist's direct experience.
Right? "Then why make it hot?" What's hot about abuse?! That's the only thing depicted here, no sensual artstyle or nudity or anything
the lack of empathy towards the artist is crazy
And they’re surprised why a lot of people feel unsafe around them. You can’t tell me it’s a coincidence that the more violent someone’s “kinks” are, the less empathetic they get. Disgusting.
The fact the idea of making someone uncomfortable and subjugating them to violence seems hot and totally normal to someone is already an insane red flag. They have no morals and consideration for others.
I don't think it was their fault but unfortunately I also thought it was something kinky OR a scene from a fictional story. I don't even like this kind of kinky stuff but that's what is floating around and that's why I associated this with those kinds of media.
Edit: But blaming the person or "I WISH YOUR GROOMER TARGETED ME" is ducking diabolical.
Not to victimblame but the art style also looks so similar to the Coffin of Andy and Leyley game too (that game depicts a fetishized incestous relationship between the two titular characters).
i could tell it was vent art, but i think the gooners/fans of the game saw the style and latched on.
And unfortunately, I've seen art where a character in a similar position also looks similarly uncomfortable and it was intended as kink. If you question it, they promptly shut it down and wave it away with some comment about it being fake. As if that is a real explanation for why they think it's chill or meaningless to get off to this. Obviously that's not the case here, but simply shows why these people thought the art was, basically, for them. That detail doesn't change anything for them. I bet it's preferred for many since it's more in the "fantasy"
What's wrong with these people? They see a character who leaves burns on the shoulder of another, insults them, and think this is sexual and kinky? What? I agree with other comments that point out that kink culture normalizes and will normalize rape, domestic violence, CSAM, and other things. How can you feel empathy to the victim of any of these if it is what you jerk off to?
It's crazy these extreme anti-social tendencies got that normalized
Why are they victim blaming so casually? It’s THEIR fault for sexualizing and fetishizing abuse!? Shouldn’t this be telling for them? My god this pisses me off so much..
Yeah, imagine seeing an art depicting violence and suffering and immediately assuming it's meant to be eroticised by default
And this is what happens when a lack of media literacy meets porn culture that fetishizes abuse.
My stomach turned looking at this. What kind of soulless monster sees a violent image of a crying person being burned with cigarettes and gets off on it.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/pavlov.html
I hate that ppl actually choose to clicker train themselves like this on purpose, it’s so dehumanizing and and unnatural, literal porn conditioning in another form, it’s disgusting
They evil as fuck omg
Someone in distress and getting tortured, and making art of their (no doubt) severe trauma, is 'common freak shit'!?
These people should be locked up and studied, because that mindset is beyond vile
I'm sorry but how is this sexy to some people wtf
Why would someone share this online..? NEVER share your trauma online. Men will find it and get off to it.
Poor artist though, who cares if it’s a kink or not when people feel inclined to be that rude to an artists, I think this kind of reactionary behavior further pushes people to see everything either as porn or not porn, when rather when it comes to art it needs to be a bit more filigree.
idk this artist definitely did portray this is a rather pornographic way. As an artist i wouldve done a better job.