This is a throw away reddit account but I don't really have anywhere else to go so here I am. Yesterday, my family and I had to put down our 11 year old baby. Her name was Mila. She had been having seizures for awhile and had gone into heart failure a few weeks ago. We had started putting her on all of these meds and she had started to improve. Then, things took a turn for the worse yesterday after she had a seizure and didn't recover. Her lungs filled with fluid and unlike the first time this happened, nothing was working. She didn't want to eat (not even her favorite treats like cheese and whipped cream) and her breathing looked like she was fighting for her life. I was there when they pushed the meds and, although the doctor was amazing and understanding and everything was peaceful, I just can't shake the feeling of her little head flopping over in my arms and the way she looked around frantically right before it did. It is eating me alive about whether I could have done something more for her. I feel so silly. I started crying today even just at the sight of her fur on my wall (she loved to rub herself on my wall after she had a bath because she hated the feeling of being wet). My family tried to make me feel better by watching a movie with me, but when I retired for the night I found myself starting to cry silently again out of nowhere. I just feel so ridiculous and lost. Anybody got any tips for me as I process all of this? I just don't really know how to handle all of this.
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Hi, I had to put my soul dog to sleep on Friday. I wish I had words to share to make you feel better, but just know I’m right there with you. This is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I feel so empty.
I’ve been reading a few things and one thing I’ve seen is that in their final moments they feel peace and comfort. I will hold on to that.