Today doesn’t feel like a good day. It’s been one week since my baby boy passed. It just felt so sudden. I keep thinking how he had been ok. I have videos from a week to 2 months prior of him playing, eating, and getting pets. I feel so depressed. Today my husband and I went to church, had brunch and came home. I’m trying to find a new normal, but I feel so depressed and broken. Depressed knowing that my baby will never come up on my lap and sleep on me again. How I’ll never get to hold him again. I have no drive to do anything right now. The recent stress seems to have taken a toll on my health. My throat hurts and my sinuses keep draining. If I cry it feels worse. I’m doing my best to stay hydrated. I verbally asked my baby to forgive me yesterday, and I told him I love him. It helps but it still hurts. I decided to make a check off list on my phone of things that I need to do. Maybe I can do those things little by little. I know this is probably a normal part of grieving but it just hurts.
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Im 3 weeks in. Thought i was doing well but then today-- as i finally picked up her water bowl, forever-- I was sent back into sadness. My pup also had playful moments, good days, right up til the end, and jm grateful for that. Grateful we always had some joy to share. I walked a friend's dog today, and it only made me miss so much having a pup waiting for me at home, a pup that truly fit me, an ease of coexisting. Today was a bummer. There will be ups and downs, but at least with the downs, its the love we had that is making us sad.
My husband picked up and stored all of my baby’s belongings as soon as we got home so it would be easier for me. It broke me though. I felt completely crazy. Now we have 2 digital frames running with all of his photos and videos. We have yet to pick up his ashes so I suspect I will break down again when that happens as well. You’re right. It’s because we love them so much that we are so sad. But I wouldn’t trade him or our memories for the entire world. I’m just hoping that eventually it won’t hurt so bad.
I picked up her ashes yesterday! Izumi was her name, a chocolate toy poodle. An emotional experience, but also strangely comforting to have her ashes here now. I had been putting it off. But going to get the ashes wasnt rrally an end to anything. But it was a nice addition of sorts. I think you'll be ok. Good luck going forward.
I’m so sorry, I understand how you are feeling. Lost my 8 year old soul dog on Saturday and it’s a pain like no other. I have so much to before Christmas and I’m struggling to do anything. I just want to sleep so I don’t feel any pain 💔
I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I wish I could sleep all day but I haven’t really been able to. Just a few hours here and there. I keep remembering him and it makes me so sad. The good memories are slowly replacing the bad ones now, but it just makes me long for him all the more.
Sending you so much love. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my sweet soul dog unexpectedly last Tuesday and I feel like I died with him.
Lost my baby yesterday. Trying to stay busy. I crack every couple of hours. Picked out her little urn today. Maybe tomorrow will be easier. I hope so.
Grief isn’t a linear process. You will have good days and bad days for sure. But we all hope that with time the pain will get a little easier.