I lost my boy Oliver 2 days ago. December 19th at 2:40. He was my best friend, the love of my life, my joy, my whole world. I find myself counting the hours of his absence and replaying everything in my head. His side of the bed is empty and these last 2 mornings have been so painful. Oliver was 17.9 years old and he was so brave and so strong. He was a confident loving and sweet boy. He loved everyone and he LIVED his life. He was so funny and he loved food and car rides. He followed me everywhere and he was so sweet to me. He was also so smart and curious. The last year he started to slow down and the last 4 months were rough. He couldn’t walk on his own anymore and I helped him with everything. It was so hard to see him decline but he was still eating and still being vocal and trying his best. He had a seizure on December 2nd and it seemed like he was recovering but unfortunately I think that was the start of the end. He was on CHF medication and they added seizure medication and I think that killed his kidneys. He also had ivdd that he recently developed. I had to make the decision to let him go when he stopped eating, he didn’t even want an in n out puppy patty and those were his absolute favorite. I’m struggling with guilt right now, I’m not sure if I made the right decision. He was my first dog and I’m struggling to accept that he died in my arms and I scheduled it. It all feels so horrible, it all feels like a nightmare. I think I still am not believing he’s gone, I have to keep telling myself he’s gone and it’s so painful. Idk if anyone else relates? People tell me I gave him the best life but that doesn’t make me feel better. If they only knew Oliver was the one who gave ME LIFE. Idk if that makes sense. I’m sorry to all of you who have lost your best friends. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live life without him.

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  • You both gave eachother life & you loved him for his WHOLE life until the very end and even after death. The love you share transcends this universe. Long live your boy Oliver! Hang in there. It’s not easy, this forum has helped me cope a tiny bit. Sending love and hugs.