OP, so your post is not removed, please reply to this comment with your best guess of what this meme means! Everyone else, this is PETER explains the joke. Have fun and reply as your favorite fictional character for top level responses!
I once shot myself in the hand with a .22 pistol that still had a round chambered even though the mag was out. I couldn't believe it had happened, so I just pretended it hadn't. Went home, went to sleep, went to work the next day, boss asked what happened to my hand and I had to tell him. Off to the hospital, had a really hard time admitting to the nurse what I'd done, but eventually had the bullet surgically removed
I was a volunteer firefighter, with EMS training, and I went on to have a career as a safety technician. But I did the dumbest thing you can do with a gun
In his 2025 autobiography Juan Carlos I d’Espagne: Réconciliation, Juan Carlos recounted how he and Alfonso had been playing with the gun, believing it to be safe as the magazine had been removed, without realising there was a bullet in the chamber, and that he had shot his brother into the forehead.
And
Whilst His Highness the Infante Alfonso was cleaning a revolver last evening with his brother, a shot was fired hitting his forehead and killing him in a few minutes.
My EMS buddy told me about a call where he showed up to a dude who had tried to slice his ear off. It was hanging on by some cartilage.
Why?
He was so fed up with his neighbors being loud that he thought cutting his own ears off would stop him hearing them.
Dude decided to try and permanently deafen himself by cutting his ears off, and thought this was a more reasonable choice than confronting his noisy neighbors!
It should be pointed out that the joke has the person (me) 1 + 14 of my open minded friends = 15 the total number of bulbs, to go in each of their butts. I didn't think that needed to be clarified but further down made me think better.
Instructions unclear whether they're going to chance trying to figure out how to plug that in
Where do you think big box stores get the exact same things?
They get them from the exact same Chinese manufacturers, mark them up 500% then sell them in Target or Walmart. They aren't doing further quality control or testing after it's already boxed and shipped from China.
They are doing further quality control and have to get the correct certifications to import it in the first place. If your house burns down, and you bought it at Target (for instance), you can sue Target for selling it. Good luck trying to sue a temu seller over in china
They are getting the certifications but it's literally the same factory making the same product. When targets order is done, the factory in china keeps running and then sells the same product to the next person. You can sue anyone for any reason, that doesn't mean anything.
A box store like Target or Walmart has to ensure it meets the regulations of the jurisdiction it's selling in. They'll also be penalized based law of the land, if they don't. The merchandise itself will likely made in a country with very different regulations, but the stores have to ensure they meet the appropriate laws when it's sold to the public. Simply put, Walmart can buy from a country where 1/3 Christmas lights can legally catch fire the first time they're plugged in, but they can't sell them to that standard without serious consequences.
Drop shipping websites like Temu are basically a grey market that regulation hasn't caught up to. They act in accordance to China's regulations, or whatever other country the manufacturing takes place in, and then ships the product directly to the consumer without using another retailer as a middleman. As such, they skirt around most of the regulations of a local retailer, beyond customs laws, which weren't written around our current volume of direct factory to customer selling.
In terms of accountability, it's much harder to sue a company acting outside of your own country and requires cooperation from both governments. As such, China and the US's complicated relationship would be a massive hurdle. It would take politicians, on top of lawyers.
Also, with drop shipping, there could be multiple third parties drop shipping the same item, like a Russian doll, making the case even more complicated, and easier for the host site to wash their hands. It would be similar to American sites like Airbnb or Urber skirting around accountability by arguing they're not a vendor themselves, but just a platform that connects buyers to vendors.
That's why Temu has been able to circumvent copyright law with such ease. There's also been alarming amounts of lead found in their products. It's not like this is just a matter of stereotyping of Chinese goods or blind faith in "American made".
Hey, it's me, your friendly neighborhood emergency public service professional, here to tell you we appreciate the excellent job security our various fields provide.
That said, the rate of house fires, annual property damage caused by house fires, and residential fire fatalities are all going up year over year, so be careful this winter.
You understand that the lights in this photo are not actually lights right? That plug is thicker than the chair's legs. There is no outlet that is gunna fit.
Brian here. Temu is a Chinese mail order outfit, where you can get anything except brides. Don't order brides through them. I tried. They are plastic. 3/5 stars for those.
Counting is a process where one quantifies discrete units of items. For example, when you have an egg, and get another egg, you can quantify them and conclude that you have 2 eggs. That's counting.
A day is a the length of time the Sun takes to travel across the firmament over the Earth disc, plus the resting time before it appears again.
In conclusion, the phrase "Temu count your days" invites the Chinese mail order outfit to quantify their diurnal units.
I hope that clarifies everything. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
Judging by the size of the furniture to the left of the picture, the books in the top left, and the socket in the top right, these christmas lights, presumably purchased from temu, are comically oversized and useless, but are likely the length specified.
My guess is they were thinking of buying something from TEMU but DIY instead so TEMU needs to count their days because they feel more people will realize they can get cheap low quality stuff from other places.
I think it has to do with the joke that cheap things you order on Temu are actually small toy sized items that didn't look so in the pic. And this time the guy purchased something that looked bigger to avoid that surprise, but actually got a gigantic "toy"? So he's upset.
More evidence that it's AI training. How could someone see a cylindrical object, know it's part of a sex joke, and not put 2 and 2 together unless they're a fucking AI.
Lois here, presumably the author means that the two prongs (one of 15 insertable parts of the contraption) are to be seated in her two lower region openings and the rest are to be used by her friends.
That's all the time I have for now, I need to buy something from Temu.
If that thing is some how electrically capable at all, it would probably singe their assholes if the bulbs dont burst first, like a shitty "a guy and a jar" 14x multiplier instance
OP, so your post is not removed, please reply to this comment with your best guess of what this meme means! Everyone else, this is PETER explains the joke. Have fun and reply as your favorite fictional character for top level responses!
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each bulb goes in butthole
https://preview.redd.it/fguc1mzc357g1.jpeg?width=368&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4e52d6197331dae095b896265902fdbe579e7e2
Oh hey it’s that firefighter guy. He seems cool
The channel is FireDepartmentChronicles. And yes he is.
Sometimes I think his stories are fake and then my EMS friends tell me stories and I think "Okay maybe they arent totally fake"
Think of how stupid the average person is. Half the population is dumber. And that includes "extremely fucking stupid".
If you can think of it and physics permits it, it has happened to some EMS somewhere. Since if you can think of it, someone definitely tried it.
I once shot myself in the hand with a .22 pistol that still had a round chambered even though the mag was out. I couldn't believe it had happened, so I just pretended it hadn't. Went home, went to sleep, went to work the next day, boss asked what happened to my hand and I had to tell him. Off to the hospital, had a really hard time admitting to the nurse what I'd done, but eventually had the bullet surgically removed
I was a volunteer firefighter, with EMS training, and I went on to have a career as a safety technician. But I did the dumbest thing you can do with a gun
https://preview.redd.it/7suay19rq67g1.jpeg?width=333&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efd18f76f9fe4828716c38ca1ee87c207b88b1e8
yep a situation for a Darwin award but good thing it ended how it ended and not in the "cannon" like you could see it in Brandon's video...
"Dumbest thing you can do with a gun..."
Nope. You're not far off... but accidentally shooting yourself in the head, or accidentally shooting someone else in the head, are both dumber.
the past king of Spain would love a word
And
Visible Confusion.jpg
What did being shot feel like?
Couldn't feel anything at first which really helped with not believing I'd been so stupid, then it started feeling like my hand was broken
Respectfully disagree. You missed your balls.
Did he experience them all? Probably not.
Did SOMEONE in EMS experience them? Most definitely.
As someone who works in ems they are definitely true
My EMS buddy told me about a call where he showed up to a dude who had tried to slice his ear off. It was hanging on by some cartilage.
Why?
He was so fed up with his neighbors being loud that he thought cutting his own ears off would stop him hearing them.
Dude decided to try and permanently deafen himself by cutting his ears off, and thought this was a more reasonable choice than confronting his noisy neighbors!
If the neighbors are so loud you consider cutting your ears off maybe he had a point idk
Well, he does also live in Florida, sooooo...
As a registered nurse I can assure you they are not fake. 😂
I worked in that field in my youth. Nothing i heard of him seemed exxagerated.
His videos are beyond hilarious.
He's ripped as fuck too... which is appreciated...
https://preview.redd.it/m37pr35qo57g1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d055d7a0477f3f6b10c10d63ef68847020bca82d
https://preview.redd.it/gxb97o4rp57g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f35e3df5dd8754fc60f9f524ce437995ce389916
https://preview.redd.it/qgmgcmjns57g1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d1a9292664e75bf8757f57e078fae7fc19c50a5
https://preview.redd.it/ectp3ay1e67g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93548225779e8271994165e06ddd89d83a798368
https://preview.redd.it/btisl3gev67g1.jpeg?width=817&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73b2a4ce7204aaadfadb4ac7d5c15f8c2a4d7194
https://preview.redd.it/u459ooevc67g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a807b95b0b590d4265ccc087109b0a84bd589208
https://preview.redd.it/ngxd8o9t367g1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b12ce4b33447359a612b362f192091c60d1d4d1
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https://preview.redd.it/m0ac2gwxp67g1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67a54c01bc2e019a9a47f0c1d88ce5d2b533836c
https://preview.redd.it/e7gspj5nj67g1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac2b884378bc9fe2c3f6b1fa9d1f2d9f576030d9
https://preview.redd.it/cp820ywm767g1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9989a5c46245a8866c738f76d3fd66d78e8cd964
https://preview.redd.it/dw9jm3i0d67g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2ad1e2f3e2286bb6a63cac040653b5316be863e
https://preview.redd.it/qa698g90a67g1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79448deb756eb6253253f8057a37834962914b91
No mana cost, can't be cast.
a sorcery with power and toughness values
Dies to 1/1 death touch because 0 keywords
"There's a soap bottle in my rectum."
"like the whole thi-"
"The whole thing."
Yeaaa, that's the exact video I got the picture from
"And- and you fell...?"
Does it really matter at this point?
"No it doesn't. Let's go and get going."
The real question is will he ask the same questions to all thirteen of their friends?
https://preview.redd.it/y7ifjsgqe67g1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=520c94963143e6a0129066c9e38227356e77062b
This meme is driving me Googledebunkers
Googledebunkers
Hey I know that guy as well!!!!!
https://preview.redd.it/m1t0eeutd77g1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5c24cfffa9b37de928f55a927130453a4e6a478
"There you are! You made it!"
It's poopy!
God to see him and badge work together would be hilarious
https://i.redd.it/w4lumyy5u67g1.gif
It's a big, shared, flared base, I'm sure they'll be fine
Just don't rotate counter-clockwise too much
jason is just such an amazing actor. imagine what amazing movies he could star in if he was a lesser person and quit being a fire fighter
Nah, Badge502 is the buttplug EMT; FireDeptChronicles covers just about everything else.
https://i.redd.it/y1w5psaod77g1.gif
Ah, well I don't know him nearly as well as FDC
They're both great, definitely recommend Badge502 on tiktok, youtube, or insta (whichever you use). Also Electric Medic has some pretty good skits.
Electric Medic is the fuckin’ best. (The fact that he’s a festie himself and not just doing shows as a gig makes a huge difference.)
https://preview.redd.it/rtah5ewkg67g1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92054e96b78ea11d26c8a2b0d2db9036d5acbdb6
https://preview.redd.it/om8dl47iw67g1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb6de4fb90abdf3ee6945fbfbb9be074d87fd8f3
https://preview.redd.it/2i0g88awb77g1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3917107cf5fe814289bda866816f161fee5606a
https://preview.redd.it/igywochlm77g1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=ac7ddb5950bce4b7797dbb0e99c485c76412ad81
They all technically have flared bases 🤔
I think Badge502 would be more appropriate.
Oh hey it's that one firefighter guy I like.
I love this guy!
justified use of firedepartmentchronicles
I bet he has seen that too.
If they ever make a blood meridian movie i want to nominate firefighter dude to play judge holden.
how's the coffee?
At least he can’t comment there’s no flared* base this time
Edit: gotta add the most important part, like the most important part of any toy
True. He might comment on fragility though.
I don’t like this
Well, then don't fall on those things.
You have good advice. Thank you, internet stranger
Why have I not been using Jason as a reaction image before now‽
https://preview.redd.it/cwgqegy75d7g1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=47eafd0f5b7abce85d1f7caca27241e85a8840d2
You summon fire man. I challenge with EMS
https://preview.redd.it/pqozg3modd7g1.png?width=649&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ba12676fc317c5d56f8394ebfed22228d892540
My life motto.
My grandmother used to say this
Came here to say this
It should be pointed out that the joke has the person (me) 1 + 14 of my open minded friends = 15 the total number of bulbs, to go in each of their butts. I didn't think that needed to be clarified but further down made me think better.
Instructions unclear whether they're going to chance trying to figure out how to plug that in
The plug is for the 15th friend's butthole...
https://preview.redd.it/es7czye6w57g1.jpeg?width=424&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36cfa53dd8e2576fd6ff192f39a231b2231f2a3b
https://preview.redd.it/34rkw3mup67g1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7771284072169e70cfc12611eb1669746ee90b7
https://preview.redd.it/qvyylirc867g1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=711cc8f41919b7f9aa5b4f95424a7da86e9d8cb9
And then the jar breaks
bulbhole*
I think you could be more hole agnostic.
I just appreciate that they counted.
https://preview.redd.it/vx9t0jwlf67g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a84d5425ecec14cb3df333a09b94a9d223b1b93
https://preview.redd.it/ak5mz5vmc77g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7b11911718f7edf831c9d9502670eb3c8849e55
Now I just imagined tzat in the square hole girls style
Exactly what I understood
Why butthole?
[deleted]
Try it. You're welcome.
No ...
https://preview.redd.it/dbhfpcoog67g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c18be6bbc250c9513f2bee330ee71ef9a2c9005b
…but there are 15 lights.
Who gets the plug?
That's where you connect the car battery.
You think it works? Like if somehow they actually plugged it in would every friend glow from the inside?
Bulbs probably are not bright enough, and if they were bright enough they would probably cause burns.
Gonna be a lot more than open minds at this party.
I bet it will be fun to explain to the ER doctor if this thing get stuck, 14 ppl connected by the butthole
Or 14 lesbians
Why would you buy Christmas lights or anything electronic from Temu? You're just asking for a fire.
14 cent anything is mostly worth it, minus the viruses
i can set your house of fire for free! no need to pay me 14 cents
But come on! You GOTTA scam them atleast a lil' bit!
Its only q scam if he doesnt set the house on fire.
And now you’re on a watchlist…
not if i set the place that hosts the watchlist on fire
Lol, true.
Half of us already were to be fair
I mean shit I'd pay 14 cents for this. Offer to help a buddy put his lights up and show up with this LOL.
Same thing for Amazon or walmart. They are all the same sellers now.
Where do you think big box stores get the exact same things?
They get them from the exact same Chinese manufacturers, mark them up 500% then sell them in Target or Walmart. They aren't doing further quality control or testing after it's already boxed and shipped from China.
They are doing further quality control and have to get the correct certifications to import it in the first place. If your house burns down, and you bought it at Target (for instance), you can sue Target for selling it. Good luck trying to sue a temu seller over in china
They are getting the certifications but it's literally the same factory making the same product. When targets order is done, the factory in china keeps running and then sells the same product to the next person. You can sue anyone for any reason, that doesn't mean anything.
A box store like Target or Walmart has to ensure it meets the regulations of the jurisdiction it's selling in. They'll also be penalized based law of the land, if they don't. The merchandise itself will likely made in a country with very different regulations, but the stores have to ensure they meet the appropriate laws when it's sold to the public. Simply put, Walmart can buy from a country where 1/3 Christmas lights can legally catch fire the first time they're plugged in, but they can't sell them to that standard without serious consequences.
Drop shipping websites like Temu are basically a grey market that regulation hasn't caught up to. They act in accordance to China's regulations, or whatever other country the manufacturing takes place in, and then ships the product directly to the consumer without using another retailer as a middleman. As such, they skirt around most of the regulations of a local retailer, beyond customs laws, which weren't written around our current volume of direct factory to customer selling.
In terms of accountability, it's much harder to sue a company acting outside of your own country and requires cooperation from both governments. As such, China and the US's complicated relationship would be a massive hurdle. It would take politicians, on top of lawyers.
Also, with drop shipping, there could be multiple third parties drop shipping the same item, like a Russian doll, making the case even more complicated, and easier for the host site to wash their hands. It would be similar to American sites like Airbnb or Urber skirting around accountability by arguing they're not a vendor themselves, but just a platform that connects buyers to vendors.
That's why Temu has been able to circumvent copyright law with such ease. There's also been alarming amounts of lead found in their products. It's not like this is just a matter of stereotyping of Chinese goods or blind faith in "American made".
Yeah, right… “electronic from Temu”.
Not really. I bought a pair of electric pruners 3 months ago and they still work great.
Hey, it's me, your friendly neighborhood emergency public service professional, here to tell you we appreciate the excellent job security our various fields provide.
That said, the rate of house fires, annual property damage caused by house fires, and residential fire fatalities are all going up year over year, so be careful this winter.
You understand that the lights in this photo are not actually lights right? That plug is thicker than the chair's legs. There is no outlet that is gunna fit.
Lol yeah but OOP originally ordered lights and got these if I'm not mistaken lol.
FTFY
I’m pretty sure it’s a diy and the tweet is just a joke
This isnt even electric. Its a made at home decoration using soda bottles and pool noodles or pipe insulators.
Have home insurance and want a new house? Try this new hack!
The light bulbs will be used as dildos
I mean, we can be a little more open-minded than that.
i don't understand "temu count your days"
Brian here. Temu is a Chinese mail order outfit, where you can get anything except brides. Don't order brides through them. I tried. They are plastic. 3/5 stars for those.
Counting is a process where one quantifies discrete units of items. For example, when you have an egg, and get another egg, you can quantify them and conclude that you have 2 eggs. That's counting.
A day is a the length of time the Sun takes to travel across the firmament over the Earth disc, plus the resting time before it appears again.
In conclusion, the phrase "Temu count your days" invites the Chinese mail order outfit to quantify their diurnal units.
I hope that clarifies everything. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
I wish someone would award this
I got you
This reply is truly genius, i wish I could give you half of the awards reddit has currently. And keep the other half to give you too.
Your: "of or belonging to the person or people being spoken to".
This is ELI5 brought to you by Temu.
Haha, what a funny comment. Thanks for the expla- OH NO BRIAN LOOK OUT
https://i.redd.it/2b5a4s9lt77g1.gif
I feel like this is the perfect response to justify the rebuttal of "Smart ass" in return.
Judging by the size of the furniture to the left of the picture, the books in the top left, and the socket in the top right, these christmas lights, presumably purchased from temu, are comically oversized and useless, but are likely the length specified.
I dont think they bought them from temu.
They are pool noodle/pipe insulation, soda bottles, and cheep plastic planters. Made to look like a giant strand of lights.
There's been a few tiktoks videos this year of people making them.
oh good catch.
My guess is they were thinking of buying something from TEMU but DIY instead so TEMU needs to count their days because they feel more people will realize they can get cheap low quality stuff from other places.
It's a threat.
is the implivcation he ordered lights on temu and got a string of 15
Ordered lights but received this abomination, feels ripped off and is threatening retribution
I think it has to do with the joke that cheap things you order on Temu are actually small toy sized items that didn't look so in the pic. And this time the guy purchased something that looked bigger to avoid that surprise, but actually got a gigantic "toy"? So he's upset.
Guy got not what he wanted
You know it’s a sex joke but you can’t figure out why…..this subreddit fucking sucks
More evidence that it's AI training. How could someone see a cylindrical object, know it's part of a sex joke, and not put 2 and 2 together unless they're a fucking AI.
Right?!
https://i.redd.it/gcokr8eun57g1.gif
https://i.redd.it/ki8x4zw8z67g1.gif
Each bulb is LIFE-SIZE HENRY
Yeah come on HENRY
Oh HENRY
Lois here, presumably the author means that the two prongs (one of 15 insertable parts of the contraption) are to be seated in her two lower region openings and the rest are to be used by her friends.
That's all the time I have for now, I need to buy something from Temu.
Quagmire here, there are 15 lights, so no need for the prongs... giggidy.
Sounds like we can up this to 15 open minded friends
Lightbulb dildo. Do not put lightbulbs up yourself, it's not worth the aggro at hospital.
You really could fave figured this out if you gave it any sort of effort
Some people just aren't that dirty minded
Friends are all electricians and will figure out how to make an adapter son it plugs into regular size plug. Then sell it to Temu.
But what if... The glass breaks?!
Ah yes. The old pickle jar video.
Yeah the one that bleeds your eyes just by watching it
What if one person gets greedy and instantly puts 4 bulbs in their ass, then the 3 people at the end will be like this, 😐
https://i.redd.it/3fchatozc57g1.gif
Christmas conga line is lit!
My depressed dumbass thought1 it was a s*cde knot
LMFAO
Open minded more like open asses
https://i.redd.it/hqr2zjynl57g1.gif
how do u not get ts man 😭
https://preview.redd.it/a9q63h3oc67g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29cd7baa645e1df3e079b5437c416bb14f505f97
You and 14 open ended friends.
Horny!!!!
Off with your head /s
https://preview.redd.it/l44p4kg9u57g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ef3480432a97e952cfdd4c5e016a04a06bbd6ea
https://preview.redd.it/ly25fsee067g1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d41879561cf5260e543a3d04360b62fca5df37a3
nice one OP
Think of it as a circle jerk
https://preview.redd.it/unonysc9867g1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5985725dc564ff93a1f0529360323fdf42271b5d
Their minds aren’t the only things that will be open
Enter instagram dude who’s the EMT that just shakes his head no.
Rock’n around the Christmas tree
Have a happy holiday
everyone’s dancing merrily in the new old fashioned way
https://preview.redd.it/lkuwa2eba67g1.png?width=618&format=png&auto=webp&s=31e0de92c54e1b416fce54975c43de6f9677f696
15 lights
OP + 14 friends = 15 people.
Open minded is when orgy or smth idk
Human centipede I mean centidicks
If that thing is some how electrically capable at all, it would probably singe their assholes if the bulbs dont burst first, like a shitty "a guy and a jar" 14x multiplier instance
Anything is a dildo if are brave enough. These “lights” just happen to be continently dildo shaped lol.
And then you plug it in.
The joke is that OOP can't count. There are 15 potential dildos on that cable, not 14.
Where's Badge502 when you need him lol