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I (45F) found out my husband (50M) was cheating on me with a 20 year old girl.
Yes, 20... no words
After the initial shock and ugly crying, I decided I wasn’t going to protect his reputation.
So when family and friends asked why we were suddenly “taking space,” I told them the truth:
he cheated, and he did it with a 20 yo girl
Now he’s furious. He says I’m making him look bad, ruining his career, and humiliating him.
Darling, you did that yourself.
Some people are telling me I should’ve kept it private, handled it quietly, been mature, but why should I lie to protect his image after he blew up our marriage?
Like it belongs in /r/pettyrevenge rather than AITA. If you don't want your wife telling everyone you slept with a woman young enough to be your daughter, don't fuck someone young enough to be your kid.
I think it’s because people have fewer differences than we think. Cheaters likely all have the same personality flaw that makes them think that their bad behavior is justified and they just hate being reminded that the rest of the world doesn’t think they’re special.
it's classic deflection, and yes I would think a lot of cheaters share a similar mentality. People want to do bad behavior, and act like fools when they get publicly shamed for it. It's far easier to blame the victim than it is to take a self-analysis and figure out what you did wrong.
Your last paragraph describes most reactions to consequences regardless of what the "stupid shit" was. Too many folks are of the "I should be able to do whatever I want with no consequences whatsoever. And if you try to give me any, you are the bad guy."
I'm sure it's some sort of mindset along the ways of "if only you hadn't pushed me to cheating with X Y Z reasons I'm not sexually satisfied by you anymore, and if only you had just sucked it up and worked it out with me (by doing everything I want so I don't have to cheat to satisfy the good feelings I want on my peepee) instead of exposing what you MADE me do, this would all have been fine".
I don't know if it's because I've watched Revenge of the Sith too many times, but I'm just picturing Obi-Wan saying, "You have done that yourself," every time I see or read something along those lines.
It's been removed now, and the mod comment is the following:
The use of AI or bots to make comments or posts is not allowed, even for grammar or editing. Please understand that this decision was made by human moderators, not AutoMod.
...I do have my suspicions about what might've happened there.
Per our rules, don't comment on linked posts. Anyone from this community who is caught brigading on another subreddit will be banned.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I (45F) found out my husband (50M) was cheating on me with a 20 year old girl.
Yes, 20... no words
After the initial shock and ugly crying, I decided I wasn’t going to protect his reputation.
So when family and friends asked why we were suddenly “taking space,” I told them the truth:
he cheated, and he did it with a 20 yo girl
Now he’s furious. He says I’m making him look bad, ruining his career, and humiliating him.
Darling, you did that yourself.
Some people are telling me I should’ve kept it private, handled it quietly, been mature, but why should I lie to protect his image after he blew up our marriage?
So AITA for telling everyone what he did?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Ah the old “my shitty behavior isn’t a big deal, the big deal is that you TOLD people about my shitty behavior”
"Why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?"
i just cant believe stories like this keep getting posted. Not sure why people care about the opinions of their cheating Ex
Like it belongs in /r/pettyrevenge rather than AITA. If you don't want your wife telling everyone you slept with a woman young enough to be your daughter, don't fuck someone young enough to be your kid.
They keep getting posted because men keep thinking with their dicks
Wow! For the lack of special reddit awards, let me give you this: 🏆
It got deleted by moderators what happened
I'm starting to wonder if there's a cheater hive mind. Or a playbook or an instruction manual or SOMETHING.
Because it's always the same. damn. thing, or near enough, every time.
Do stupid shit. Get caught. Throw a tantrum that the consequences of your actions are have shown up.
I think it’s because people have fewer differences than we think. Cheaters likely all have the same personality flaw that makes them think that their bad behavior is justified and they just hate being reminded that the rest of the world doesn’t think they’re special.
it's classic deflection, and yes I would think a lot of cheaters share a similar mentality. People want to do bad behavior, and act like fools when they get publicly shamed for it. It's far easier to blame the victim than it is to take a self-analysis and figure out what you did wrong.
Your last paragraph describes most reactions to consequences regardless of what the "stupid shit" was. Too many folks are of the "I should be able to do whatever I want with no consequences whatsoever. And if you try to give me any, you are the bad guy."
"The first amendment protects me from consequences for my stupid choices! It's in the constitution!"
"Sir, this is Canada. The first amendment was making Manitoba a province."
looks around
Worst decision in Canadian if not world history.
😂😂😂😂
Oh, so you've met my mother in law? 🤣
I'm sure it's some sort of mindset along the ways of "if only you hadn't pushed me to cheating with X Y Z reasons I'm not sexually satisfied by you anymore, and if only you had just sucked it up and worked it out with me (by doing everything I want so I don't have to cheat to satisfy the good feelings I want on my peepee) instead of exposing what you MADE me do, this would all have been fine".
oh, you've met my ex i see.
DARVO strikes again!
Name and shame don't let people keep normalizing this bullshit.
Lo, take this award: 🏆
The commenters who are BuT tHe 20 Yo Is An AdUlT
Yeah, they're telling on themselves
He doesn't have to be a pedophile to be a creep.
But like, congratulations to OOP's husband for choosing an affair partner that is old enough it isn't legally rape, I guess.
Bingo. No one saying he's after a minor, but he went pretty damn close
She is an adult.
An extremely young adult.
He's a creep.
We don't have to infantilise an adult in order to acknowledge the creepiness of the middle aged man going after her.
I don't know if it's because I've watched Revenge of the Sith too many times, but I'm just picturing Obi-Wan saying, "You have done that yourself," every time I see or read something along those lines.
Tiny violin for the asscravat that supposedly ruined his career for a woman who was born when he was thirty.
"If the truth about your behavior paints you in a bad light, the problem isn't with the truth, it's with your behavior."
The moderators have removed this. I'm curious what the original story is. Mods say it is AI.
i dont get why OOP is even asking this ngl…
Why do some many people care about the opinions of their cheating Ex’s
It's been removed now, and the mod comment is the following:
...I do have my suspicions about what might've happened there.