So I think it was last year mid 2024, a group of psychology counsellors came to my community regarding a session they were gonna hold for students who struggle mentally or any sort which of course involves study pressure. They asked us to fill a survey. Later, the kind woman was speaking about struggles we could relate to and it was shocking because as far as I've seen, my school psychologist only taught coping mechanism to the students rather than actually advising and would never understand a student. But this wonderful lady said something which really piqued my interest-
"I think we should be giving parenting advice first because toxic parenting has become really common in our country" and then she proceeds to say "But it can backlash on us just as much of a need it is"
See, there is no doubt that parents love their children unconditionally well at least most of them, even my parents are. But there are certain do's and dont's even for them when it comes to parenting and I'm saying this because my father wants me to get an All India Rank in NEET, a free seat and I hear him say this with the intention of wanting to boast about his duaghters to his friends and family which in true sense is not wrong but there is a certain limit. It did not stop there at all. He continued to compare me with some random person who he knows got a free seat or my neighbour PCM students who never step outside their house. It feels like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster whenever he is home. On Christmas, my cousins were home so we decided to go outside and spend time togther which he approved of without thinking twice and by the time I got back home he started scolding me bacause I went outside instead of studying and one of my PCM neighbour went to her school that day ^^ NOT MY FAULT HER DAMN SCHOOL DIDNT LET HER TAKE A BREAK and defintiely NOT MY FAULT that she has JEE mains next month. I don't have my NEET next month. If that wasnt enough I was taking a walk with my two best friends who are both PCM so he asked my friends why he isnt able to see them outside lately and also asked if they are studying that much they awkwardly laughed it off and said yea and then he says this pointing out at me "You should learn from her how to enjoy life, look at her ^^"
HE SAID THAT ON THE FRICKING ROAD OUTSIDE :>
AND TODAY (Sunday) HE ASKED ME WHY I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL.
So I said it's study hours and I can stay home (it is a residential campus but I'm a dayscholar over there paying even for the hostel fees). He started scolding me that I skipped school today and I'm not studying but hahahaha guess what I was doing when he was scolding me? STUDYING. I was legit studying but he was scolding me saying I am not studying.
And he keeps asking my classmates to persuade me to stay in school (hostel) instead of getting back home everyday.
Did I forget to mention that I have health issues which is why I had to go through a huge war with my father for him to agree on not letting me stay in hostel for second year? He finally agreed and we went to check dayscholar campuses but then only the worst ones were left and also the fact that I will have to commute through bus amidst the city traffic isnt gonna make my health any better so we took admission AGAIN in the SAME residential campus but as a dayscholar paying the full fees including hostel.
And now my dad pretends like I have no health issues or that he never agreed for me to be a dayscholar. He only acknowledges the fact that I'm sick to his advantage or when he tells me to sleep instead of watching TV.
Oh and did I mention I never wanted MBBS??? Yes my goal was veterinary but he insists on MBBS which is a field I have no interest in, although it is medicine and yes you get paid a lot too. But that is not my dream. not my goal. He then started saying "you shouldn't be just be any doctor, people should know your name"
All he wants is to see his daughter succeed in life but that doesn't mean he can force something on to me which I clearly lack interest in. I'm in 12th and these two years were one of the shittiest times in my life so far. I am trying my best not to waver by the stress and pressure but it keeps getting difficult as days pass by and half my health issues wouldnt be an everyday problem or affect my daily life if it isn't the stress and I really dont want my family to say "just dont take stress then" after putting me on ice and fire constantly. WDYM "Just dont stress"?????????? AND MATTER OF FACT, ADULTS BE HAVING SO MUCH EGO cuz they just CANNOT accept the fact that maybe their child knows certain things more than them because the world keeps changing and we cannot sit and bubble ourselves by thinking the only way to succeed is their way, which is either btech or mbbs.