Tell him to ask his mum to see the imaam dealing with Nikkah contract.

A woman’s wealth belongs entirely to her, whether she earned it, inherited it or was given it.

• Marriage does not transfer ownership of her assets to her husband.

• The husband has no automatic right over her money.

• She is not obliged to spend her wealth on the household.

He should focus on you are just stipulating the ISLAMIC values.

Also, islamically it is better to have these things in writing for future clarity. Tawakkul does not mean being ignorant of safeguards.

You are 100% right to do this. You should get a pre nup done. You protect yourself and your assets 100%. Marriages fall apart all the time and go nasty in divorce court

WaalaikumAsSalam,

If you are in the West or a country that has different divorce laws to Islam, you have to understand that times are not the same anymore. Muslims in general care less and apply the Shariah less than our predecessors did before. They never thought about such clauses let alone having prenuptial agreements, because their generations didn't go to local court in order to gain their spouses assets. This generation does, and it's happening at an alarming rate.

If you are in the West, make sure you have a prenuptual agreement and even go as far as creating an LLC where your properties and wealth reside and not under your name. Some cases, judges have overruled the prenup and still given wealth over. Do not get married or sign anything until you have this all in place.

Many of us men, and some women are going through and have been through terrible situations in court, where the ex-spouse has used the local court system to wrongfully attain wealth and custody which the Shariah would not allow. It's becoming common and unfortunately not enough of our community are standing up against this dhulm. Save yourself before it's too late. Also if he's so trustworthy, then he wouldn't have a single issue with it because it should all be in line with Islam, which he should hold above all else.

I don't understand why it would even be a question that your assets don't belong to you.. just like his won't go under your name

Honestly, it's his responsibility to tell his parents and family to mind their business. This has nothing to do with them and furthermore, all it is doing is cementing your Islamic rights.

I would additionally get a pre-nup agreement because nikah may not hold up legally in court. That his family doesn't even need to know about.

You should protect your assets and that clause is appropriate. If he doesn’t mind, his family shouldn’t either. Maybe ask him to have a conversation with them.

Don’t drop it. Western law would split your assets in the case of divorce. If you are ever going to live here you need a pre-nup to protect prior assets and that nikkah contract may be supportive of that. Talking about finances maturely and documenting agreements is halal. If you and fiancé are good, sign and move on. Don’t leave it out of the contract and see if he can stand like a protector and keep boundaries from interfering relatives even his mother.

do NOT drop it. i regret not including additional clauses in my prenup. and now im married to a completely different man who is exploiting financially which he promised he would never ever thought of doing - and now he stole 25K from me.

Time changes people and feelings change after marriage. don't budge, stick to your gut instinct. Greed DOES change people

His mom needs to stay out of it. If they’re really Muslims they should know a woman’s money is entirely her own. I did the same thing as I am a beneficiary to a trust my parents set up with a lot of real estate properties. My husband had no issues with that and never involved his mother. Tbh it’s a red flag he even told her. It’s not her business.

This doesn't need to be in a nikkah it needs to be in a prenuptial agreement. Some countries don't accept nikkah as legally binding so you would need to get married legally and that's when a prenup will help - ask your fiancée if he will sign a prenup prior to nikkah then take it out of your nikkah and everyone's happy

His handling of this situation is a reflection of how he will handle future issues with his family. He needs to tell them to frankly mind their own business and you need to be steadfast in your beliefs. Don't let them sway you.

Why does the family even know? Sounds like he may have been complaining and what does it mean when she says the 50k mahr should be enough? That you take that and then give him all of your finances.

Stop worrying about the family. They have no say. Instead worry about him. The fact that he asked that you put yourself in a bad position to keep the peace is wrong and shameful and tells you what type of person you are marrying. These are a sign from Allah. Take heed and pay attention. And Allah knows best.

Regardless of the contract what’s your is yours anyway but you have a right to protect yourself against western court because that’s not how it is. Why do they care so much if your fiancé doesn’t.

Big red flag. What’s yours is none of his or his families business

I’ve seen this happen in many families, where the mahr is treated like it automatically covers everything so when you mention a prenup or adding clauses to the nikah contract, it gets taken personally instead of practically. That’s the biggest issue. Wanting things written down doesn’t mean you don’t trust your fiance especially when you already had assets before the marriage, like your inheritance and properties. I’ve seen too many cases where people relied on good intentions and later had nothing clear to fall back on and that’s where real harm happens.

Do not listen to him or his family. ALWAYS protect yourself. There is nothing unreasonable in what you want and also it’s within your Islamic rights. In fact I would take it a step further and actually get a legal prenuptial agreement in place apart from the nikkah contract.

It is very valid for you to protect your assets. I did the same when I got married. This is the first time I hear it from the other side tho funnily enough.

You need to make sure that in an event of divorce that you keep all your assets that you owned before and during marriage.

In a simple case generally speaking the only thing that wife is allowed in case of divorce is nafaqah for the iddah period. And the man is entitled to nothing of the women's wealth.

Both parties walk away with what they owned.

My advice:

Just do it without the knowledge of his family. If he's cool with it then get it done and tell no one, no one has the right to know.

You should handle his family by not talking to them about your marital business as it’s none of their business what you have stipulated in your contract with your husband. Please hold your stipulations that you have listed firmly as there is nothing unusual about them. what is unusual though is your potential husband telling you to compromise something you have the islamic right to dispose of however you want just because your family is pressuring him. A lot of these mothers think they can just manipulate their sons wives into doing things just like how they succeeded in manipulating their sons into doing things. also marrying him knowing that something you have a right to is not protected will have you with a bad feeling throughout a lot of the marriage preventing a strong bond. This is a red flag from both the family and the potential. Where is your wali(guardian), see how he feels about you thinking about not protecting your family’s inheritence. also now we see a problem with high mehrs because if its highness people cant stand but to eventually use it as leverage as 50k is a huge amount for any place in the world. May allah bless you sister and make it easy for you

Absolutely do not drop this. I protected my assets and also had a prenup that would protect me in the UK which is an absolute must! This is something that stayed between me and my husband and we didn’t get any family involved. You could just tell his family you’ve dropped it but keep this as an agreement between you and your husband. So absolutely include it in your nikkah contract and get a prenup! No need to share anything with relatives as this isn’t their business

Protect yourself, always.

I'd be like thank you,next. Sounds like once married they may try guilting you for more money or the inheritance. In their country blah blah blah,my response would be, well time to go back.

Honestly, I'm close to 50 and I keep hearing the same stories and issues. I don't even bother with cultural politeness anymore. People need to learn to start saying no and stand their ground.

Will a nikah contract hold up legally? Seems like you need a prenup!

If her daughter inherited something she wouldn’t make it a big deal if she wanted to protect herself.

If she didn’t have ill intentions then she wouldn’t be offended ‼️

Do not drop your clauses ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Protect yourself. May Allah bless your marriage but a pre-nup is for your protection. This would be y advice to any youn couple, man or a woman. His family should have no say in what you have or however you wish to spend it. This feels like a test on how your future husband should stand with you.

If he wants sacrifices to be made for the sake of peace, he can end the relationship for the sake of his family's peace.

Don't start making sacrifices even before the nikah, your whole marriage will consist of that.

Don’t marry into a family that is indicating an interest in your inheritance - you can’t protect yourself against that, period.

This is inadvisable when the prospective spouse is showing an interest in your wealth. It is horribly magnified if it is his family as well (MIL + Brother + ﷲ knows who else).

Weak fiancée => loser husband. How many times have we seen this?

The fact that you are already feeling guilty about protecting yourself is clear evidence that you will not be able to handle the onslaught of manipulation post-nikkah.

To my dear sister, keep weak and spineless men unmarried.

The 50k Mahr should be enough for what ? Buying 280k + two rental properties of inheritance?

Are they after your property ?

Also is it mandatory for them to know all the pointers that are on your nikah contract as long as the husband agrees ?

You are right. They're wrong. He needs to handle his family. If he cant handle them now, it'll be nightmare later.

HE needs to handle this. If he's fine with this that should be the end of it all. If he's allowing his family to get to his head it means he can't make decision for himself nor his family is that who you want to marry? If he wants you to drop this to "keep the peace" ask yourself what will be next? He can just lie to his own family and say you've dealt with it privately. His family is already getting involved and he's failing at keeping boundaries it'll get worse once your married if he can't handle this. Its seem his family will be very INVOVLED in your marriage.

It seems Allah swt is showing you a glimpse with what maybe to come, so you need to think long and hard about this.

You're not wrong with having a contingency plan in worse case scenario and its very smart too. Don't let them tell you otherwise.

This is a good way to test if he will stand up for you in the future. You are well within your rights of keeping things speperate and its weird that his family have problems with that. I think just tell your fiance, hey I get its annoying but this is something I cant compromise on so I would appreciate if you can handle your family.

Also islamically there is nothing wrong with whay you have stipulated in the contract.

You are entirely in the right. You conditions are valid and Islamically correct.

Her mother has no say in the matter. She can only dictate the terms of her own nikkah. 

What purpose will it serve to put a clause in a nikkah contract when it's not being accepted by the court in the west?

Look, if you talk about Islamic laws, and if the property u inherited is in your name now then no one can do any thing

If by secular law u mean the assets would be divided 50/50 then the Islamic contract clause won't help u

I'm surprised you have to add it to the contract. Isn't it yours by default?

They belong to you. So what’s his problem? Sounds like they want their hands on your money.

My husband and I are arguing over the $300,000 I started our marriage with.

He's a very kind and honest person. Being very honest, he told me repeatedly that he wants the money to be a "hook" to stop me from leaving him. He admits this isn't fair or Islamic, but wants to protect "his needs" first.

He cares far more about controlling me than the money.

Married 12 years. We used my money to started a business together, so in my state (community property) it is now "co-mingled". In the beginning, he told me verbally that he would repay me when we sell the business. Since then, he's developed new "needs" and wants to prepare for a 2nd wife. So last year I asked him to put the promise in writing. We've met with 2 lawyers. That's when he explained his "hook" philosophy.

He's a very kind person, so I'm still stunned. And he admits that, by Islam, he owes me the money. But says we have to do it the Western way. How convenient.

The money isn't inheritance. I worked for it.

Get a pre-nump too.

marriage means unity. but you are still separate people who still have and own your personal things. even his salary is his own and its his will how much he contributes to you. stick to your guns. this is tour right and property, but approach it sensibly and sensitively.

It's Halal. It's legal.

Idk what they're talking about, Muslim Marriages aren't like this? It's yoie Nikah, your contract. None of their business.

Assalaamu ‘Alaikum. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. May Allah rectify the situation in the best way possible and make it easy for you.

You are absolutely correct in adding this stipulation to your nikah contract. According to Islam, it’s irrelevant since your wealth remains your wealth regardless. Your fiancé should be the one saying this to his family. If they fear Allah, they are not going to be affected by these clauses anyway. So why are they making a fuss? It only makes them look suspicious. Your MIL-to-be was really out of line to be complaining to your mom. And your fiancé should’ve saved himself further embarrassment by putting an end to that behavior. But instead he’s pressuring you to buckle. That really doesn’t reflect well on him and doesn’t bode well for your future marriage if he’s not willing to change his mindset. As the man, he should be the one reinforcing Islamic ideals, not giving in to whatever this is. Stay firm in your decision to protect your assets, if you’re going ahead with this marriage. Giving in to these only makes things, from anecdotal experiences.

You are not wrong in this. A woman is not obliged to contribute financially in the marriage and is entitled to what she owns according to Islam. 

His mother has no business in what you do. Some say the husband doesn't even have the right to look at your bank accounts, because he has no rights over your belongings. If you are not sharing ownership over the house you will be living in, the car, etc why would they have a problem with you keeping your inherited money and properties? 

If he can afford 50K mahr, I don't know what currency - but if you are talking US dollars or British pounds that is like one year salary, I assume he is not poor himself and in need. They sound a bit misogynistic, like they will lose control if you can take care of yourself. You should in no way feel guilty for protecting yourself. 

Absolutely protect your assets. 

But on a side note. Dang that mahr is a bit crazy 😅  why did you set it that high? 

Mashallah, that's a nice inheritance. Well, in this situation it's just for legality of it, I'm sure you will share your wealth with your new family when you're married. This just in case you get divorced and your husband tries to take a piece of it in the divorce. If you're getting married in the west, it doesn't matter what the contract says, if you don't sign a prenuptial agreement, all your assets are considered shared and he gets a piece of it.

I think you just need to hold firm, say it's just to protect yourself and you're not trying to horde massive amounts of wealth from your husband and eventual kids.

Could you leave it out of the nikkah contract but have you and your fiance sign a prenup privately?

As someone who’s been through a divorce where things got messy, and also as someone who lost a lot financially, I would 100% stick to your guns about protecting yourself.

God forbid, if things don’t work out, you see people true colours and the greed of when it comes to monetary assets is really an eye opener.

I’ve seen a few comment suggesting you shouldn’t get the civil marriage done. I wouldn’t recommend that approach, as Muslims we should follow the law of the land we are in as long as it doesn’t mean we are going against something Islamic. It may also cause other issues for you legally if things didn’t work out, or if one of you were to pass away.

Perhaps a prenup that states if things don’t work out you both retain whatever assets you had prior to marriage is a fair way to go. Unfortunately in this day and age you really do have to think of things like this and considering you have substantial assets, it seems wise to protect yourself.

Anything that was yours before marriage should be yours and their reaction is a red flag.

However, a $50k mahr is another red flag. Why is that so high?

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Why involve his parents or in the Nikah contract? Sign a separate Pre Nup contract but ensure you have one before marriage.

Your wealth belongs to you and you ONLY! Do not compromise, even if it means walking away.

Please please please, keep everything recorded and in writing. You never know what the future holds. A divorce, a death, sickness, life is uncertain. Make sure and I repeat this, make 100% that you secure your possessions in your and only your name. It's a very normal and understandable thing to do.

If his family is creating a huge issue out of you securing what's already yours, imagine what they may do in the future if things take an unpleasant turn. Your inheritance is yours. Get it on paper. It's encouraged, not haram.

First off don't back down. As women we have to protect ourselves we have to protect our belongings and finances.

I heard someone say once that most the time the partner isn't the issue, it's the family that inserts themselves when money is involved and they are the issue.

It’s very simple. If they’re upset it’s because they want it or have their eye on it. True people and Muslims, would give you more and never ask twice let alone once.

Sister I want to say I’m so very proud of you for looking out for yourself!! Please do not back down! Your fiancé’s mom is insecure and being very unreasonable. TBH his family ships have no say in this matter at all. It is very positive that your fiancé understands where you are coming from. Make him understand you are not budging on this matter. Please listen to the advice and suggest your mil to speak to an imam. Everything must be in writing.

Don’t just do a Nikkah contract, get a prenup as well. It has nothing to do with your fiancé as a person, and everything to do with protecting yourself in case of life events. Talk to a lawyer asap.

If his mother is upset over this it means she has her eye on your fortune. Good for you for being careful. Never trust men, & especially not their mother.